Breathe in.

Today is the day…..

Breathe out.

…..The day that will change my forever.

I dusted my clothes and looked at the mirror.

Do I look good? Yes, I do.

Do I feel good? Yes, I do.

Am I excited? Yes, I am.

Am I ready?

……

……

I don’t know. /sigh/

I looked down at my hands holding a bright red box. My heart suddenly skipped a beat. Today…… is Valentine’s Day. And today is the day that I promised myself and my friends to finally confess my feelings to him. Him, as in the guy who has been the cause of my mini heart attacks for the past 6 years. Him, as in the guy who every girl admires and every boy dreams to be. Him, as in Kim Taehyung.

I know this is a life and death situation since a.) I know I’m not the only one who will give him chocolates (I’m sure he receives tons of chocolates and confessions yearly); b.) He is so popular and I’m nothing. He knew me, yes, but only as a schoolmate. I’ve been in this school since elementary like him, but I never became a someone who anyone looks up to. Maybe yes, everyone knows me, but not the same as him; and c.) he has a rumoured girlfriend.

So now maybe you are asking why—why of all the days or of all the Valentine’s days, I chose today? Hmmm….. I myself don’t know why. It just came to me. It just crept up on my senses. I even argued with myself: Why am I doing this just now? Maybe I became his girlfriend if I had just confessed earlier! But hey, he might reject me! But some girls say that he finds it hard to reject anyone who confesses to him. Wait so you mean he had so many girlfriends already? I don’t know!

UGH.

I walked away from the ladies’ room and went straight to their classroom. I came to school early just for the sake of this promise because I don’t want anybody seeing me giving anyone some chocolates in Valentine’s Day. I peeked inside as soon as I came outside of the room and as expected, he is already there. Just him—alone. Sleeping on his desk.

My heart thumped faster than the speed of light when he suddenly looked up from his desk. Maybe he felt my presence.

I quickly hid behind the door.

AISH. What am I doing!? Why am I hiding!?

I breathed in and out heavily. I closed my eyes and gulped. I opened my eyes and faced the doorway only to seE TAEHYUNG JUST BESIDE ME LOOKING AT ME CLUELESSLY SADFDSGFDFGH

I quickly distanced myself and looked away. “Uhh…..” I saw him looking at my hands with the box in it when I glanced at him. I hid it behind me so he looked at me and smiled.

“Are you waiting for someone? You can wait for him inside.” He asked and suggested, and then smiled.

Blood rushed to my cheeks as my heart pumped exaggeratedly.

“Uhm…. Well….. uh…..” I was loss for words. His beauty and his voice are so enticing.

“And why are you so early? You can just give it to whoever it is later.” He said, leaning by the doorway. “Or….. you don’t have to wait anymore if I am that guy.” He smiled cutely as he wriggled his eyebrows. “Kidding. If you don’t want to come inside, maybe I can accompany you here while waiting for that guy.”

“But…. You were sleeping…..”

“Naaah, it was just really boring, that’s why.”

And then there was silence.

WHAT THE ACTUAL FCUK AM I DOING I SHOULD BE GIVING THIS TO HIM NOW HE IS ALREADY BESIDE ME WHY ARE MY HANDS NOT MOVING DO YOUR JOB PLS

“It’s your first time right?”

I narrowed my eyes at him like asking him what he meant.

“I mean, it will be your first time to give someone chocolates for Valentine’s Day, right? I’ve never seen you giving out chocolates during Valentine’s. I even thought that you were a lesbian.”

SERIOUSLY?? KIM TAEHYUNG?? YOU HAVE NEVER SEEN ME GIVE OUT CHOCOLATES? YOU MEAN, YOU ACTUALLY LOOK AT ME? OR OBSERVE ME? WHAT? YOU ARE MAKING ME DELUSIONAL U KNOW

“Who are you waiting for anyway—“

“UWA~ Is it Kim Taehyung’s first chocolate of the day?” Someone shouted from afar. I looked at the direction and saw the guy that Kim Taehyung is always with, the guy named Park Jimin.

OMG did someone just see me with Kim Taehyung oh

Park Jimin ran towards us and did some high-five, hand shake, fist bump ritual ceremony whatsoever with Kim Taehyung and looked at me with a smile plus an eyesmile. “Oh? Minyoung, right?”

I looked at him, shocked. He knew me?

“Neighbour! We’re in the same neighbourhood! You don’t….. you don’t know me?” He said, his smile turned upside down.

I scrunched my eyebrows. Neighbour? He is my neighbour? I don’t see him anywhere.

Oh, right. I don’t go outside often. How would I know him.

Truth to be told, I know him, only as Kim Taehyung’s friend. I’ve never met him anywhere.

Somehow, I felt bad for him because his face tells me he wanted me to at least say I have seen him as well but I didn’t so his face just turned from blue to a fake smile.

“It’s okay if you don’t know me—“

I heard footsteps. My eyes grew wide. I told you, I don’t want anyone to see me giving chocolates today. My reflex made me step back making this guy pause from what he is saying.

“What’s wrong?” Kim Taehyung asked, looking at the direction of the footsteps.

I turned to my back, about to run away, but the thought of the chocolates in my hands stopped me from doing so.

I quickly turned back at them and handed Kim Taehyung the box as I looked down to hide my face. “Take this.”

As soon as I felt him grabbing it (which took a little long), I immediately bowed and pursed my lips.

SHOULD I SAY IT?

Yes.

Yes, Minyoung, say it now!

“I like you.” I said without looking. “And I’m sorry if I do.” I bowed and quickly ran away without waiting for him to speak.

Mission accomplished. Ji Minyoung.