Experiencing Love For The First Time~
Experiencing Love For The First Time~Mayu’s POV
Thursday, May 30th, 2313 9:56PM
I slumped onto my bed. My mind was filled with the events earlier tonight. I didn’t know what to think of it. I couldn’t sleep because too many thoughts ran in my head. Sae and Yuki? My brain just couldn’t process it fully for some reason. Maybe I was right in thinking that they were connected somehow. I could tell that Yuki wasn’t alright when I went to check up on her. I heard her murmur ‘Ruka’ in her sleep. She did the same at dinner, too, which made me wonder.
I sighed into my pillow and sank further under my covers as I curled into a small ball, a tinge of pain in my heart. Once again, my unrequited love drama continues. Then I saw a picture of two girls in uniform. That was me and Yuki from middle school, I sometimes still reminisce those times. It made us close friends, yet I felt something was more between us as we went into high school… or really, since the day we first met. It wasn’t long before I realized what I was feeling… is love.
Flashback
Wednesday, March 14th, 2309 8:30AM
“M-my name is… Watanabe.. Mayu… It’s very nice to.. m-meet all of you...”
I remembered clearly the first day I was transferred into Yuki’s school. Everyone stared at me like I was a doll or a little kid; I was the center of attention. I was just a first year, so I didn’t have the same class as Yuki. At that time, I didn’t have the courage to speak out loudly and clearly, which only made my classmates eye me even more.
“Hai, arigatou, Watanabe-san. Would you like to tell us something about yourself?”
“Umm… I-I like… anime and… i-idols…”
“Haha, Watanabe-san is so cute.”
“Look at her. She’s like an idol. So pretty~.”
“Kyaa!! Look at the ribbons in her pigtails. Kawaii!!”
I didn’t really like the fact that everyone was calling me cute, it only seemed to have made me more shy. It had only became more and more tense as more and more people commented on my, so called “cuteness”, and gave me more attention than I asked for.
“Um… y-yoroshiku… onegaishimasu...”
“Watanabe-san has been homeschooled for a long time, so everyone please treat her nicely so she can adjust to our school. Okay?”
“Hai~!”
I remember searching the playground for somewhere I can keep to myself during lunch. And since everyone was crowding around me, I ended up going to the library.I honestly like books so that’s a plus and I can read in peace. Since I didn’t know where I was going, I seemed like a headless chicken.
As I was meandering across the halls, I heard a screech coming from the second year classrooms, thumping footsteps, and before I knew it, a body landed on mine. My torso started to really hurt as the figure rushed to her feet.
“Oh my gosh! I’m so, so, SO sorry!” I could hear the person talk, but I was too busy dusting myself off to look up at her yet. “I kinda pulled a prank on my classmates in 2-D and it was very funny. Oh, I’m Kashiwagi Yuki by the way.”
A prank, huh?
So that was why I could hear screeching coming from the second year classrooms...
“Uh...” And then, I looked up as she took my hand and helped my up.
When I first saw her, I was taken away by her beauty. Her pale skin was shining so perfectly in this light, her dark eyes were alluring and very attractive. The way she spoke was calm and luscious, like a mother’s voice.
“What’s your name? You look very cute just saying.”
“...Uh… W-wa… Watana...be...”
I was surprised I could barely speak to this girl. I tried telling myself, “This isn’t hard! Just talk! Speak! Say something!” But that moment, everything was piled up in my throat and I couldn’t get the slightest word to come out.
She just seemed to chuckle and she let out a beaming smile. It seemed so majestic, especially with the sun beaming towards us.
“Hehe, you really are cute. Uh, Watanabe, right?”
“R-right...”
“Oh, that’s right. You’re that new transfer student. Nice to meet you, Watanabe-san.”
“Y-you too… Kashiwagi-san...”
“Just call me Yukirin. Everyone does.”
“Okay… Y-Yuki-rin...J-just.. C-call me, Mayu…”
“Mayu. That’s a pretty name.” Then, she patted my head gently, and I felt a sudden warmth. Not only on my head, but beating rapidly in my chest.
Eh?
“Let’s get along from now on, Mayu-chan.”
[hr][hr]
Tuesday, April 21st, 2309 1:10PM
Ever since the moment we met, my whole life changed. Every time I try to think, my mind is always on Yuki. I couldn’t forget about her. The first few days seemed easy, but as each second, each hour passed by, it only became stronger. I could hear her voice in the wind, feel her warm touch on my bare skin, and see her beauty in my dreams. That’s all that kept going through my head.
Yuki, Yuki, Yuki, Yuki, Yuki…
“Mayu-chan.”
“Eh?” I looked behind me and suddenly saw her standing there, watching me.
“Yukirin?”
“You okay? You looked like you were really deep in thought.”
“Ah! N-no. I was just really deep in thought...”
“Oh alright then.” She then showed that signature smile that I just can’t get enough of. “Well, since we’re here… let’s walk to PE together.”
“Your class is having PE, too?”
“Yea. Pretty big coincidence we have the same PE class times, huh? Haha...”
I blushed as she continued talking. I couldn’t control what was going on with me. There was nothing I could do.
“C’mon.” She took hold of my hand as we started walking together. This is just making my heart pound more.It seemed so surreal and my mind and heart seemed to have stopped at that very moment. Yuki why do you have to be so beautiful?
We then started walking for what seemed like an eternity, everything felt like it was throbbing. But it didn’t matter to me, I kept on walking. As we walked into the basketball gym with 20-some more people, it did feel really awkward to be stared at for long periods of time.
“Since we always have two classes for this PE period, I wanted to make sure the second years could properly teach you first years a bit of hockey and/or basketball before they go off on work experience if they choose PE. I will choose the pairs before you second years go and pick the first year you find cutest.”
“First: Oya Shizuka go with Komori Mika.”
I recall Oya-san was someone in my class who never listens to our homeroom teacher. She’s sort of a class clown. As for Komori-san, I don’t really know much about her, since she doesn’t talk much.
On the other end of the gym, I saw the cheerleaders practicing a routine. I recognized their captain, Sashihara-san. I think she’s a third year, and she’s also… a bit of a hetare. I don’t know any else about her, but Yuki once told me she was a huge idol otaku and that she even convinced the cheer team to do wotagei one time.
I would’ve liked to see that…
“Next: Watanabe Mayu go with Kashiwagi Yuki.”
Ehh!? Me and... Y-Yuki!?
And it kept going and going. It seemed my first friend, Ota Aika, has a partner she wants to be with. She calls herself a tsundere, but she’s really not like that at all.
“Nee, Mayu. I need to teach you or my grade in PE will drop and I’m really good at basketball. You tackle like this.” She showed me a demonstration with the coach and she was dribbling whilst swerving away from the coach. He didn’t even see Yukirin zoom past. I could see why she was the team captain for our basketball team.
I saw a past picture of the coach from a few months ago with the team on his lanyard. She stood right in the middle with a large trophy from the annual national basketball competition in her hands.
“Now all of you , listen up! I want to see our Second-Year basketball team in action. Kashiwagi!”
“Hai!”
“Since Kashiwagi here is our captain, she and her team will show you different techniques to practice basketball.”
Then I saw Yukirin holding a basketball in her hand, then spinning it on her finger like a professional basketballer would.
Straight afterwards, I saw her dribble and straight after a speedy dash towards the hoop, blocking every defender that was in her way. I think some of the first years who do basketball call her ‘Flash’ and I can understand why. A trick shot soon followed, as expected from the ‘Basketball Queen’. I saw others try, and it wasn’t as spectacular as any of her moves. I continued to stare at Yuki, impressed.
“Mayu, look out!”
*BOOM*
...Eh?
Everything from those next few seconds were a blank. It’s as if my legs suddenly gave way to my weight and my head made impact with the floor. Something interrupted my system from behind. Did someone throw a basketball, and it hit me? I watched as my vision slowly blurred and every other noise faded…
Tuesday, April 21st, 2309 1:59PM
“....yu-chan… ..Mayu-chan.”
“..Ugh...” As consciousness caught up with me, I found that I was in unfamiliar territory. Yuki eyed my every move, making it all seem awkward for me.
“Ohayou.”
“Y-Yukirin… C-can I j-just ask where I am right now?”
“Umm my house?”
“EH?!”
“Yeah, the teacher said I could bring you home so you could rest, but… since I didn’t know where you live, I brought you to my place.”
“Oh...” I blushed madly, looking at her bed sheets. I was surrounded by soft clean sheets of a full white mattress. And they smelled like her… They smelled like Yuki’s strawberry scent.
Yuki…
Yuki, Yuki, Yuki, Yuki, Yuki..!
“Are you okay, Mayu-chan? You’re cheeks look a little flushed.”
I felt my cheeks. They were hot. I was blushing! And in front of Yuki…
And suddenly, she pressed her forehead against mine.
“You don’t seem to have a fever.” She smiled and then got up from her seat. “I’m going to get you something to eat. It didn’t look like you ate much of your lunch, so I’ll feed you. Wait here a bit…”
Yuki walked out of the room, leaving me alone. Her room was so neat and tidy. It almost looked like a rich girl’s room. There were fashion and gravure magazines set up in one corner, and there was a poster for idols like Morning Musume and Matsuura Aya. There was also a guitar, a few notebooks on her desk, one of them open to show some writing. I think poetry. Wait, there’s also something in her closet, I think…
“Mayu-chan~” I quickly sat back up, pretending not to try and look in her closet, and watched her walk in.
She laid out a tray with some food in front of me and proceeded to feed me, but I gently held her hand and stopped her.
“Y-Yukirin… I’m perfectly capable of feeding myself.”
“Don’t be so tense, Mayu-chan. As long as you’re under my roof, you’re under my care. Just relax and I’ll take care of everything.”
She spooned up some of the curry rice and sat on the edge of the bed, facing me. She just smiled seeing me blush, because we were so close.
“Hai. Ah~” She lifted up my chin gently as she spoon fed me and giggled at my expressionless face. I didn’t know what I could possibly do in this current situation.
Right now, she’s completely baby-ing me. Feeding rice and soup to me from a spoon, breaking apart bread, gathering up the meat and veggies to eat. She really is like a mom, and all the while, she smiled at the shy me as I ate all the food.
As she fed another spoonful of miso soup to me, she said, “You’re really gloomy, y’know.”
“Eh?”
“You wouldn’t get close or talk to anyone when you first came here. You were such a loner, always with your nose buried deep in your manga. Even when you first met me, you looked like you were having trouble getting even a single word out.”
“It wasn’t that… I was just surprised, with us bumping into each other like that. I’m not that shy.”
“Are you kidding? You acted like Tomoko-chan from Watamote!”
My eyes widened at that. “You read manga?”
“Eh?! AH! No, no, no, no. A friend of mine reads that manga and she showed to me once, that’s all. She told me about the ‘Tomoko-chan’ girl, so, hahahahaha...”
Yukirin… Is she..?!
After she calmed down and finished feeding me the rest of my small lunch, she went to wash the dishes. When she came back, she caught me in mid-yawn and saw me rubbing my eyes cutely.
“Haha, kawaii, Mayu-chan.”
She knelt at the side of the bed again and patted my head.
“You must’ve had a long day...”
“..A-ano… Y-Yukirin...”
“Hm?”
I looked away from her slightly, blushing a bit. I took in a breath before I spoke again.
“Um, Yukirin… what do you think of me?”
“Wha… what do you mean by that?”
“I mean, social wise. Am I good to get along with? Or am I just a bother, or...”
“Mayu-chan, I don’t think that.” She took hold of my hand again, laying her head against my arm. “You’re a great person, Mayu-chan, and a good friend.”
“F-f-f… Friend?”
“Yea...” She then let out a yawn. Must be true that yawns are contagious. “You’re a… very precious friend to me, Mayu-chan…”
I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. I never had someone tell me I was their… precious friend….
Friend…
..Just friend? Well, I knew, since we just met, we start as friends…
But, I finally learned what was happening to me for so long. Why I reacted a certain way towards Yuki. I was in love, love at first sight, and it was strong. It was something I’ve never, ever experienced before. And.. it felt amazing. Being with Yuki was the best thing for me and it made me feel so happy and peaceful. I’m grateful my first love was Yuki.
“Thank you… Yukirin.”
“....”
“Yukirin?” I looked down closer at her, nudging her a bit. Her hand was still loosely holding mine and her heavy head rested against the bed mattress, near my arm.
She fell asleep…
I smiled at her beautiful sleeping face, taking a blanket and wrapping it around her. I tucked myself in and stared at her once more. Before I knew it, my body acted on its own. Closing my eyes, I knelt forward and gently kissed Yuki’s forehead.
“Oyasumi, Yuki...”
End of Flashback
Thursday, May 30th, 2313 9:58PM
It’s been four years since that moment…
I can still remember every bit of it. When I realized for the first time I was in love with Yuki. But, I’ve never been able to freely express my feelings to her yet. I could only watch her from afar, all while she cared for me as a friend. Even after she graduated middle school, and I had one more year, I wrote a letter with my feelings for her, but I’ve never been able to give it to her. No matter how many times I try.
Slowly, I picked up the envelope and unfolded the pink slip, reading aloud the contents written…
“Dear Yukirin,
Personally I’m not the person to say these words, but ever since I bumped into you I felt something was there. Not just friendship, but “Love”.
It seems so surreal to me that I know such a friend who would like me for who I am. I don’t know if you're willing to share my life with me, I would share it with you too. But, honestly, it just doesn’t seem right telling you in person.
I don’t have that courage yet...
The point is, I’m in love with you. I’m crazy about you. If I ever “see” you again, hopefully, things will be different. I’ll be stronger and finally be able to confess.
I don’t want anyone else. I want you, Yuki.
-Mayu”
“Yuki...”
I continued to stare at the paper. As my mind drifted off and the words written on the thin slip began to scramble into alphabet soup, my arm grew heavy and I laid it down against my chest, sighing heavily. So many years passed since then, but nothing changed at all. Even as I grew closer and closer to Yuki, I never gained that courage I needed to confess to her.
Maybe I should just give up…
*RING* *RING*
“Eh?” I suddenly sat up when I heard my phone go off. Who would be calling this late at night? I quickly picked it up and I was surprised to see the name on caller ID. “Y-Yuki..?”
*Beep*
“Hello?”
“Moshi-moshi. Mayuyu? Are you still up?” Yukirin’s voice...
“Uh, yeah, Yukirin. I’m up. Why did you call me?”
“I was about to go to bed, but then I looked out my window and saw your lights were still on, so I wanted to check up on you. Is everything okay?”
“Oh. Haha, yeah. I was just doing a couple things and lost track of time.”
“Late night manga reading again. That’s bad, Mayuyu. You should get your sleep.”
“Hahaha, right. I know, Yukirin. I’m going to bed now. Night.”
“Wait!”
Eh?
I quickly put the phone back up to my ear, clutching it a bit as my heart was pounding.
“What?”
“You seemed worried today. Are you sure everything’s alright?”
I gulped some of my saliva down and cleared my throat. “Y-yeah, Yukirin. It’s nothing, really. You don’t have to worry about me.”
“That’s impossible.”
“Huh?”
“Mayuyu, I care about you too much to stop worrying. You’re my most precious friend.”
I smiled inside as I felt tears of joy starting to form in my eyes.
“...Really?”
“Of course~.”
Friends...
Fine. And… Come that may! We can start a lovers relationship sometime, but… I’m glad that we’re now just friends.
“Thanks, Yukirin. Oyasumi.”
“Oyasumi~”
I closed my phone and set it back on my dresser. Looking back at the letter one more time, I smiled and took out my pink pen, writing something new on it.
“I don’t care how long I have to wait. 5 years, 10, 20, 50… even 100. I’ll wait forever if it means, somehow, someday, we can finally be together.”
“Yuki...”
I folded up the small pink paper and kissed it gently before putting it back into the envelope and closing it. I set it on the countertop of my bed dresser and turned off the light. Closing my eyes, I remembered Yuki’s sweet, warm smile one last time before drifting into sleep.
Someday, I’ll be sure I finally confess to Yuki… Besides… I know more about her than anyone else. I know that she sometimes has trouble doing things like laundry or cooking on her own, and that she would love someone who was sincere and loving for her… I know the perfect confession I would give her and I could only dream of our future. For now, that remains a dream…
“Mayu!”
Actually, we have more in common than you think… Because there’s one more secret about her no one knows…
But that’s another story…
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