Its been a while since they actually have a real conversation. Luhan was always out, always busy. Sehun was getting suspicious, why the hell Luhan kept on sticking with his phone, dabbing his fingers on the keypads of his iPhone5. Smiling slightly when he receives a buzz and reads some messages. Luhan dont really care if Sehun saw this. 

 

'Sehun might think i'm playing games or so chatting wit Simsimi.' Luhan thought to himself.

 

But in the other line, was Kai. Luhan's new intern. They've been workmates since last month, and Sehun felt very disturbed whenever he tried to talk about his day at work and Luhan changed the topic, talking about how a great guy Kai is. He even add-on Kai and his moments. Which made Sehun' heart breaks.

 

When Sehun tries to make a move towards Luhan, hugging him around his waist. Luhan shakes his arms off. "Dont do that. It's uncomfortable." Luhan would say. And it really made Sehun angry and sad at the same time.

 

Did he do something wrong? Does he bores Luhan?

 

Luhan always liked it when Sehun cuddled him or even wrap his arms around Luhan from behind.

 

But lately, Luhan gets annoyed by those gestures. Making up reasons like 'Its uncomfortable' or 'the weather's too hot' to prevent himself from being hug by Sehun.

 

At night, Luhan always would lean on Sehun's chest for warmth. Throwing the pillow aside so he could cuddle Sehun. But the last few weeks, Luhan had distanced himself, he often sleeps on the couch, and when Sehun would carry him back to their bedroom, Luhan would wake up and slept on the couch. Leaving Sehun sleeps by himself, alone. 

 

Luhan would always wake Sehun up with kisses before telling him to eat breakfast.

 

He would always leans in for a morning kiss, and at times.Luhan would get angry at Sehun for not giving him any morning kisses, teasing Luhan.

 

But these days, Luhan left Sehun in the bedroom, after preparing breakfast. He then went staright to work. Leaving a memo on the fridge;

 

'Dont forget to eat.' 

 

Just a small note. Nothing else. No signs of hugs and kisses. Just plain words.

 

Sehun ate only a bit, because his main breakfast was Luhan's baby smile. The source of his apetite. But these couple of days, theres no sign of love Luhan usually shows.

 

Sehun feels empty. So empty, he was lifeless.

 

He exist in the world but he's not alive. 

 

Just lifeless. 

 

--

 

Sehun brought up the topic about Luhan had been ignoring him, about Luhan changed. About Luhan giving him no attention, no love. Nothing.

 

It made them get in a quarrel. Luhan had threatened Sehun that he would leave the house, and he left. Taking only what was necessary. he took the keys. Sehun wouldnt want Luhan to leave, so he did say sorry but Luhan.. He didnt respond. He ignored Sehun's apologies and went out. 

 

That was when Sehun caught Luhan cheating. Cheating with his ing intern behind his back.

 

Oh how Sehun feel like dying at the time.

 

As Luhan drove, Sehun tailed behind. Driving behind Luhan, but far enough not to Luhan catch any glimpse of Sehun trailing him.

 

Luhan stopped at a medium sized house. Luhan stepped out and knocked on the door. The door was opened by a tall and toned man, circling his arm around Luhan, chasting a quick kiss on Luhan's lips. Luhan did replied the kiss then went inside.

 

Sehun, witnessed the scene. He clenched the steering wheel in anger. He knew it, it was Kai. That kid who took away the love of his life. He never knew Luhan would cheat on him. Luhan has promised. They've made a vow, to be loyal. To always stay together no matter what. To never give their hearts to anyone else.

 

And Luhan had broken it. Sehun has lost it.

 

He pressed on the gas hard, driving passed the speed limit.

 

Sehun was a professional driver, a former speed racer. But after Luhan begging him to quit, persuading him that being a speed racer would risk his life. He did quit. For Luhan's sake.

 

And this happen. Luhan cheated. 

 

--

 

Sehun gulped the alcohol in one shot. And asks the bartender for more. It was past midnight, there no sign of Luhan calling or texting, asking where he is. Luhan usually would call. But today, there is none.

 

Sehun dropped all the 'Luhan' off and kept on drinking.

 

Until another man showed up.

 

"Sehun? Oh Sehun? is that you?" a familiar voice were to be heard behind Sehun.

 

Sehun glanced back and saw Yixing, Luhan's cousin. "Lay?" Sehun mumbled but loud enough to hear. "Its you!" Lay hugged Sehun. And Sehun hugged back, unconsciously held him tighter, wetting Lay's white button up shirt. "S-sehun? Are you okay?" he asked.

 

Apparently Lay was one of the waiter there. Serving drinks to V.I.Ps, Good thing the pay was good. 

 

Anyway...

 

Sehun held him tighter, " I think you're drunk." Lay tried to lift him up, and he was shock that Sehun weigh much lighter than before. He was so heavy last time they met, and now. He weigh like feather.

 

"You can go, since you have a 'problem' to take care." The bartender, being the owner excused Lay. 

 

It was fortunate that Lay still remembered the ins and out to Sehun's residence.

 

Lay fumbles through the keys while still holding Sehun. Sehun wailing Luhan's name made Lay thought that they might get into a fight. 

 

And he was right. Well not entirely.

 

He unlocks the door and made Sehun lay on the couch. Sehun cried, he felt so hurt. He felt betrayed. 

 

Lay does put on his sympathy towards Sehun. 'What did Sehun do this time' Lay questioned himself. 

 

Luhan was always sensitive. He loses his temper even with just the tiniest thing.

 

'They might be in a bad quarell.' Lay thought.

 

Lay went into the kitchen, prepares a hangover soup for Sehun. He always were considerate of Sehun. He always admired Sehun, in fact, he was a big fan of Sehun when he was a speed racer. Luhan was fortunate to be able to have Sehun all by himself. Lay was quite jealous when Luhan introduced Sehun to him, but Lay was always a reasonable man. He congratulated Luhan and Sehun for their relationship.

 

But if he ever had a chance to be with Sehun, he would grab it. And never let Sehun go. Call him possesive, he's also obsessive.

 

"Luhannnnn. Why? Why him?? Why?? " Sehun started wailing. Crying his brains of and rolled over the couch, only causing him to drop off to the floor. "Aghhhh. my ing lifeeeee. " Sehun winced, drawing Lay's attention.

 

He turned off the stove as the soup are ready. He then rushed to Sehun, helping him up and now laying him on the bed in Sehun's bedroom. 

 

"Luhan? Is that you? " Sehun asked, cupping Lay's cheek. "Why did you cheated?" Sehun says softly.

 

Lay was taken aback from the sudden words that came out from Sehun's lips.

 

'Luhan cheated? He ing cheated?' Lay clenched his fist.

 

"You're not Luhan, " Sehun says. 

 

Sehun's voice soothed Lay's mind. "Im not. Im Lay. Luhan's cousin? Ring any bell Sehun?" , "Oh. Layyyy." Sehun laughed in a drunken state. 

 

"Go tell that ing Kai to stay away from Luhan! " Sehun shouted.

 

"Shh Sehun. Luhan left you. He left. Im here Sehun. I can take care of you. " Although Lay might sound mean and desperate, but he couldnt help seeing Sehun like this. Sehun felt so hurt, the sorrow in his eyes. Just like how Lay felt seeing Sehun with his own cousin. 

 

"But i love Luhan. My deer. My Lulu. " Sehun says but Lay hushed him. Leaning for a kiss on Sehun's lips.

 

Sehun didnt pulled away, Instead, Sehun presses his lips deeper.

 

'No.. No more S-sehun. Too much!" Lay moaned.

 

"I need.. i need you. Mend my heart please. " Sehun stopped, resting his forehead on Lay's.

 

"I will. Always will." Lay smiled, giving Sehun some pecks on the lips.

 

--

 

"Good morning." Lay greeted beside Sehun. Sehun smiled, its great to have a rebound. Lay was near as Luhan. His dimples, his figures. So angelic. But he couldnt compare. Luhan still lingers in his mind. Its always Luhan. 

 

"Good morning. Thank you." Sehun says, wincing suddenly as his head ached.

 

"You're on a hang over. Let me re-heat the soup i made earlier. I'll get back to you. Be a good boy alright?" Lay giggled, he cant be any happier.

 

°°

 

After getting ready. Lay suddenly hugged Sehun. "I really dont want last night be just a one night stand." Sehun was stunned with those words. Although Sehun doesnt have any feelings towards the latter, but he really needs someone to take care of him. 

 

"I know, like i said. I need you to mend my heart didnt i? Im giving you a chance. I knew how you felt towards me the whole time. You're not just a fan. " Sehun reassured and nuzzle Lay's hair. He used Luhan's shampoo. "And dont use that shampoo if you're staying here." Lay smiled.

 

"I wont" He knew it was a cue for him to stay with Sehun. Though he knew Luhan would come in anytime to fetch his things if he want.

 

"I'll be heading to work." Sehun smiles. 

 

"I'll be right here." Lay bid him goodbye. Taking some days off wouldnt hurt since his shift wasnt needed. He only went to work if theres V.I.Ps. Fortunately, his shift will be going in a week. 

 

'More time with Sehun!'  He grinned at the thought.

 

-- 

 

The door clicked and Lay looked towards the direction, 'Sehun's home already? This early?' Lay thought. But it wasnt that bad.

 

He'd be even happier if Sehun went back.early just to meet Lay. The thought made him happy.

 

Just as the door startes to open, Lay jumped.

 

"Sehu...Luhan?" Lay was stunned. His cousin was the one who opened the door. But he doesnt feel dissapointed. Instead, his blood start to boil and ready to burst anytime if Luhan made the wrong move.  

 

"Yixing? What are you doing here?" Luhan was confuse and suspicious at the same time.

 

" What are you doing here? " Lay repeated the question. "I - i was.. No! What are you doing here? Are you stealing?! " ,

 

"Do i look like a thieft to you?" Lay rolled his eyes.

 

"Ughh what ever." Luhan ignored and took some of his stuff. Making sure theres nothing important he left, never wanting to go back in this house again as he'll be living with someone else.

 

"Just tell that damn Sehun. Im leaving. No question. " Luhan says.

 

"Oh He wouldnt question you. You dont have to worry." Lay sarcastically spat.

 

"I dont want him to bother me in the middle of the night asking where am i..'' Luhan havent finished his words suddenly Lay interrupted. "Oh no no. He wouldnt be thinking about you since you left him for someone else. " Lay attacks. "He knew it all along. So keep your dirty words for yourself." Luhan were stunned by Lay's sudden offense. 

 

"Y- you.. He knew?" Luhan suddenly felt wrong. All this time. He knew. It hurted him slightly.

 

"Yeah. You can scram right now. He doesnt need you anymore. He needs me. Now back off. " Lay shooed Luhan. 

 

"Ha? You're with Sehun? Well congratulation of making yourself as his rebound." Though it made Luhan's heart slightly hurt. But he pretends that he doesnt care. 

 

Luhan then went off.

 

--

 

Its been 3 months and Sehun started to open up more to Lay. He started to show more affection towards Lay. And he knew, he likes Lay. Just like.

 

Luhan, in the other hand. Was always disturbed. Albeit his relationship with Kai goes so well. He couldnt help but to miss Sehun. He even dreamnt of Sehun sometimes. He always thought about how's Sehun's life right now? is he happy? Does Lay fed him well? Is he skipping his meal? Is he taking his anti-deppresant pill on time? He couldnt stop worrying since He was the only one who knew Sehun the best.

 

And he is supper worried if Sehun started smoking again, more worried IF Sehun continued his career as a speed racer. But thankfully Luhan didnt see any news about Oh Sehun went back to being a speed racer. He thanks the heaven for that.

 

Luhan couldnt help but to grip on Kai tighter, when he saw Sehun held Lay's hand in the mall as they went to buy bubble tea. He knew how his ex-boyfriend loves bubble tea.

 

Luhan bit his lip, should he greet them? Not a good idea.

 

He nudged Kai to go to the other way but his heart broke when Sehun leans in to kiss Lay on the cheek. How happy Sehun is right now. And he wished he was Lay. 

 

Now Luhan only live with regrets.

 

--

 

Upon hearing Lay's trembling voice in the end of the phone, Luhan always fainted when knowing Sehun got into a car accident.

 

He always! Always!! reminded Sehun to becareful on the road. Never drive passed the speed limit. Never never drive pass the speed limit. And Sehun didnt take that to the heart. and this is what happened.

 

Luhan was crying all the way, with Kai driving, deppresed.

 

"CANT YOU PLEASE ING DRIVE FASTER!" Luhan burst.

 

As he ran up to the hospital, asking where was Oh Sehun located. He then went directly to the said room.

 

He opened the private room, and saw Sehun lying there. On the hospital bed. He always had nightmares of Sehun got into a car accident when he was a speed racer.

 

And his worst nightmare came to life. 

 

He cried, walking slowly. Threatening to faint anytime. The true love of his life is fighting in the matter of life and death.

 

The doctor came up to him. "You must be..." The doctor didnt finished his sentence but Luhan gripped onto the doctor's lab coat.

 

"You better ing make him alive! You cant kill him. ing save him!" Luhan shouted, the doctor calmed Luhan down with a good news. " He's fine. He's alive." it made Luhan calm. "But..." 

 

Luhan eyes shot. He cried again.. "But what?!" 

 

"He's experiencing a critical brain damage from the accident. Although we manage to save him. But We didnt manage to save a few of his memories." The doctor explained.

 

"W..what? " Luhan fall onto his knees.

 

"He's memories are limited. Its based on himself. He might or might not recongnized you." The doctor says and excused himself.

 

Lay who was standing behind Luhan, brought him up and hugged him. " I tried." Lay says and apologised. 

 

"He might not remember either of us." Lay says. But Luhan who was still crying hard couldnt calm down.

 

"But if he will remember the one he truly cares about. " Lay smiled.

 

"It would be me. " Lay says confidently.

 

But right now. Luhan doesnt care about that, what he truly cares it that Sehun is still alive. Still Sehun.

 

Suddenly Sehun moved, breathing heavily and steadily.

 

"Sehun!" Both of the relative stood up. Rushing to Sehun's sides.

 

" Im sorry Sehun. Im really really sorry. I loved you. I really do. I love you. Its okay if you dont forgive me, its okay if you dont remember me. But before i go..." Luhan held Sehun's hand tight and kisses it with his plump lips, tears ran down his cheeks and dropped onto Sehun's arm.

 

"We'll always be together no matter what." Luhan says their vows. 

 

Sehun stared at Luhan's eyes and smiled.

 

"My heart was always with you, Luhan." 

 

--

i've always wanted to try an angst fic

just slightangst

I hope you enjoy :)

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