Suho sits in the garden, his legs tucked inwards and his arms limp against his frame as he feels the raindrops falling against his skin, its coldness hostile. He tilts his head gently at the sight of a taller boy making his way towards the door, a frown creased against his forehead as he runs his calloused fingers over his skin in an attempt to smoothen his frown; it wasn’t all that effective, his grip on the crisp musical sheets in his other hand increasing as the paper crumbles and falls like how leaves fell off the trees in autumn, the boy’s soulless eyes reminding him of the warmth of spring, the sudden memories of their last carefree summer; and the manner in which he walked by without flinching or turning to meet his eager eyes cold and piercing, like the winter he detested. Watching the boy press his palm against the black surface of the electronic lock of the door, he enters the code with forceful jabs, the door vibrating helplessly at his pushes as he fails a few times before he let out a frustrated growl.

“God damn it.” He sighs and slams his palm against the door, the sound of hurried footsteps following. Suho’s eyes widen slightly at the sight of the taller boy standing in the doorway with his brown hair disheveled as he squints at Kyungsoo.

“Oh. Mornings hyung.” He sighs as he groans at the weight on his shoulder as Suho notices the pale skin of the other boy’s arm draped across his chest, “Sehun, stop being so heavy would you.” Kyungsoo merely grunts at this sight and pushes his way past the two youngest members as he scoffs at the manner in which they seemed stuck to each other, both of them not willing to let go despite Sehun’s complaints about Kai’s shoulder being too bony, and Kai’s whines about Sehun’s weight.

“By the way, its evening.” Kyungsoo shouts as he lets out a soft chuckle and paces up the staircase, allowing Suho to watch his heavy steps as he looks through the glass panels of the house. The décor of the house amused him at times, leaving him to wonder about what had gone through the heads of the architect when they bought this house years after their debut. Of course, glass was a glamorous material which gave off the classiness of the façade; in several cases it was eco-friendly too, given that there wouldn’t be a need to turn on the lights throughout the day, saving on their bills. Yet the fact that your every movement was visible to the public was plain foolish, something they would’ve needed to fret about if they were still back in their promoting days. Days when their freedom was exchanged for their glamour on stage – when their priorities were none other than putting up a good stage, forgoing their own health. Perhaps it was better now; a few years down the road. They weren’t entirely retired – they were too young to do so, yet they shifted some weight onto things lighter – gardening, sleeping, lying on the couch with cookies lying all over the table, watching the couple roll around on the floor together; these productive things. Suho rolls his eyes at the thought and turns back to the living room to watch the boys laze around, dropping food all over the carpet. Kai and Sehun trudge back to the couch as Kai falls towards the ground in one motion and lies down sleepily, turning to his side and curling up into a ball. Sehun grins at his hyung playfully before sitting down beside him, patting his head repeatedly.

“Hyung, do you want chicken?” Sehun chuckles as Kai looks up at the boy before reaching upwards to pull him towards his chest and bringing him into a gentle embrace. The older boy nods as he looks at the other with anticipation before pushing Sehun over to his side and wrapping his arms around his waist, snuggling up against his chest. Sehun lets out a soft laugh as he runs his fingers through Kai’s hair and pats his head gently.

“Not giving chicken to you.” He whispers as Kai pushes him over and sprawls all over him, leaving the younger boy to groan and push him off playfully. Suho gasps slightly at this sight, sighing at the young boys as he mutters words incoherently under his breath.

“I don’t quite agree to this skinship.” He hums as he exhales heavily and rubs his forehead in helplessness before slumping back against the bushes and continues observing s. The manner in which he always kept himself detached confused him at times, making him question his intentions to do indulge in such activities that might’ve been deemed lowly in some other’s eyes. He could’ve been spending his time with Kyungsoo, trying to bake cakes and cook spaghetti for the rest of the members, but the latter’s recent spout of angst and anger scared him frequently, making him cringe whenever he saw his squishy frame plodding towards the front door. He still loved the boy, but his unfriendly end scared him mildly – he wasn’t to be played with when he was angry, he was like a mini hulk - and he wasn’t exaggerating with this statement. Shifting himself towards the right, he finds himself staring at the other corner of the living room where he sees the usual duo indulging in their own weekly (or rather daily) feasts as they dig into the cereal boxes and poured its contents out with ecstasy into the different coloured bowls, opening the fridges and pawing at the food packages they’d find. It wasn’t uncommon to find them sweeping out their month’s worth of food stock as they decided that food was the best remedy to things. It was, to a certain extent, but the more they ate, the larger the hole they burnt in their leader’s pocket.

Eyeing Chanyeol peeling the wrapper off the chocolate bar, Suho frowns and glances over to watch Baekhyun attempt to fry his egg, sending oil splattering across the kitchen floor as he became flustered, screeching incoherently as he jumped towards Chanyeol and wrapped his arm around his shoulders to drag him away as though he was facing a menacing beast.

“Oh god what have I done!” Baekhyun exclaims as he rushes towards the living room to fetch a broom as Chanyeol stares at him with amusement and clutches his abdomen, laughing on the floor.

“Baek you don’t clear oil off the floor with a broom-”

“Well then what do I do?” Baekhyun pauses in the middle of the living room with the broom in his hands, held steadily above his head.

“ it.” Chanyeol bends forward and winks as he speaks, gaining a slap from the smaller boy as he glares at him playfully and pulls him closer, the distance between their faces decreasing slowly.

“Yeol, here’s my solution.” He whispers as he tilts his head upwards to press closer towards the boy’s ears, unaware of the latter’s embarrassment. He runs his hands along the boy’s back as he pulls him in closer for a few moments before speaking again, “Its- kkaebsong.” He hums as he chuckles and lets go of the boy before sauntering towards the living room, leaving Chanyeol to fume slightly.

“Hyung!” He barely mutters as he runs towards Baekhyun, the two of them running across the living room like small children. Suho raises and eyebrow and questions the maturity of s as he sighs and tilts his head upwards to look at the two figures huddled close together in the music room upstairs. They were in some sense, the more sensible ones. The quieter ones which found enjoyment and solace in the quietness of sweet melodies, and the noise of heavy bass. He watches them sit with their backs pressed against the glass panels as they strum on their guitars, their fingers a work of art.

“Jongdae, I think it’d be better if you changed it to this strum pattern. It’d fit your voice better.” Lay said as he reached towards Chen’s guitar lying on his lap to point at the right strings to press on as the latter nodded and tried his best to follow as Lay nodded quietly at his attempt.

“Yes that works.” He grinned as he reached out to pat the boy gently on the head, his face brightening up at the sight of his cat-like smile. It never failed to cheer him up as he chuckled softly and bent towards the right to place his guitar on the floor before moving his chair closer to the other boy.

“Here I’ll help you with something.” He whispered as he gently picked the other boy’s hand in his hand and brought it close towards the guitar, strumming notes as he shut his eyes gently in comfort. Chen let out a soft laugh as he tilted his head towards Lay and shook his head fervently.

“Cheeky kid.”

“Says the younger one.” Lay replied as he pulled the boy over in an embrace as at that moment, Suho felt close to bringing his palm towards his face; if only he could.

“Kris hyung you better stop or-” Suho sighs as he hears the squeals from the portion of the garden next to him as he tilts his head to watch the two tall boys frolick in the sun like small five-year old children – not that unusual if its Tao and Kris. He watches Kris carry the shopping bag in his arms as he runs from Tao, occasionally turning back to taunt the boy who followed behind him surprisingly slowly despite his wushu trainings. Suho chuckles at this sight and stops as Tao catches up and pushes Kris towards the ground, managing to pin him down as he straddled across the older boy’s waist with a triumphant smile. Suho feels his eyes widening, his fist clenching – this was definitely crossing his boundaries. Just as he tried to intervene, he heard a crash behind him as he breathed in heavily and felt his body shake slightly as he turned to face the two other boys lying in a heap with buns all around them, and a metal tray balancing on Xiumin’s . The oldest member too, was a little kid. He sighed as he watched Luhan clamber all over Xiumin and rest on his chest with his hands cupping the older boy’s face in endearment before turning to watch Tao do things to Kris which he would never wish to approve in his own life.

And in that moment of chaos, he watched Kai drag Sehun out to the front porch, their hair disheveled.

And the Baekhyun tugging on Chanyeol; and, of course. Chen on Lay’s back as he piggybacked him around the house – but Kyungsoo remained in his room leaning against the window as he sat on his bed to write.

Suho would’ve done things, gone into the house to speak to Kyungsoo, tear the couples apart before his own heart shattered – but he couldn’t. Suho was just a gnome, standing in the garden beneath the sunlight, a gnome which was somehow or rather helplessly in love.