Taehyung didn’t know when it all started. He had always been a cheerful kid and always smiled no matter what. He never really did beat himself down for his mistakes because he knew that he was only human and he was bound to make them every once in a while.

 

 

            Taehyung never gave second thoughts when another kid tried to insult him. Words didn’t really faze him because they were mere thoughts of another human being. Furthermore, why should he listen to people who try to belittle him simply because he is slightly different?

 

 

            The boy had once wanted to be a biologist. He wanted to study mother earth and to get to know the planet he lived on. As a child he always loved adventures and always wandered away from his parents whenever they went out to the nearby park or if they went on a trip. Sometimes Taehyung would get lost but he didn’t really mind that, even as a child he knew that he will find his way back to his parents at some point and that he simply needs to be in the place he got lost in.

 

 

            Somewhere in the middle of high school Taehyung’s dream changed after he heard one of his classmates conversing about how great it would be to be an idol.

 

 

            The boy never really wanted to get famous, but the thought of being an idol sparked interest in his mind. He wondered how great it would be to be in a band, to have somewhere he could belong. He thought about all the fans he would have and the way they would possibly cheer him on when he would performing. He smiled at the thought of making another person happy with the songs he would perform on stage.

 

 

            Not more than two months after the thoughts started Taehyung had found himself at an audition for a label he didn’t even know existed.

 

 

            It wasn’t a surprise that the label didn’t sign him, he hadn’t been born with a voice that would be so powerful it could vow everyone. He wasn’t born with a body that would be ready to dance at any moment. And Taehyung surely wasn’t a rapper, but he didn’t give up. The boy was stubborn and he never backed down from a challenge.

 

 

            After what seemed to be an uncountable number of tries, Taehyung had found a label that was holding auditions.

 

 

            The boy was a bit surprised that the label had been interested in him after they heard his voice and that they were willing to sign a contract with him. Taehyung had said yes without thinking and his parents weren’t really overjoyed with their son’s choice of career but they were still supportive.

 

 

            During the first week of training Taehyung had started thinking that he chose the wrong path for his future. His throat was sore and his muscles were constantly hurting and his dance teacher said that he wasn’t going to become an idol if he doesn’t step up. And Taehyung didn’t know how to step it up except working for more hours because he had never danced before and his body wasn’t one of a dancer’s.

 

 

            Taehyung would show up to school with his homework barely done and with dark bags under his eyes. Some of the teachers had asked him if he had problems at home but Taehyung only shrugged his shoulders and told everyone that he was fine and that he was simply working for his dreams.

 

 

            Taehyung couldn’t fight back the smile when his extra practices paid off and when his dancing teacher had started to recognize his efforts. He was driven to practice even more and it resolved to his school work being put away for a little bit. But it all turned out to be for the better when Taehyung was told that he was going to debut in a boy group under Big Hit entertainment.

 

 

            The boy was eager to meet his new band mates. Taehyung was given the names of his band mates and he felt a bit left out when he figured out that they had already been introduced to the public eye and that Taehyung was the only one who was kept in the dark.

 

 

            The male stayed up all night before meeting the other band mates and he thought about what they could be like. Were they friendly? Would they welcome him into the group easily or would they try to stay away from him for some time?

 

 

            Taehyung showed up with the group’s assigned manager at eight in the morning and the doors of his new dorm were opened by a boy with a wide smile on his face. Taehyung remembered they boy as Jung Hoseok from the photos he was showed a few days ago.

 

 

            Hoseok seemed to be a bit confused but he still stepped aside to let the two males inside the dorm. Taehyung could see that the other band mates were littered around the living room and that they all stood up when their assigned manager walked into the room.

 

 

            Taehyung trailed after the manager and Hoseok threw wary glances at him as if he didn’t trust the younger boy and he couldn’t blame Hoseok because he was new and they didn’t know him yet.

 

 

            The other occupants of the room looked at Taehyung with curiosity and some of them even asked who he was. The manager pushed the younger boy in front of him and smiled at the other members of the newly formed group.

 

 

            ‘Everyone, meet Taehyung, the new and the final addition to this group.’ There were several shouts being thrown at the timid boy and only one male was looking at him with interest plastered over his pale face.

 

 

            Sentences like We don’t need him in the group, We can function perfectly without him and he’s probably just another pretty face were thrown at him. But Taehyung didn’t listen to those words, his eyes were stuck on the pale male’s face and the other male was staring right back at him, a smile making its way over his face.

 

 

            When the manager of the group left, Taehyung was awarded with a few glares from his new band mates and most of them simply left the room. A few of them sneered at him and one even spat that he was not welcome in the band or the dorm and that he won’t last for more than a month.

 

 

            The pale male was the only one that stayed behind and as Taehyung tried to lift up his suitcase, skinny fingers curled themselves around the luggage’s handle. The younger boy lifted his head up in shock and he couldn’t help but smile back to the skinny male in front of him.

 

 

            Yoongi. Taehyung learned that his name was Yoongi, but he was going to debut as Suga. The younger male smiled as the two of them sat on the couch and Yoongi told him about the other members and about his previous life and accomplishments in rapping. Suga didn’t mind that Taehyung didn’t talk much and the younger male liked the sound of Suga’s voice, so they stayed like that for some time.

 

 

            The skinny male told Taehyung that everything will work out and that the other members were simply shocked and the younger boy believed him, because Yoongi was already the closest person he ever had during the last year or so.

 

 

            But what Yoongi didn’t tell him was how long it would take for the other members to finally cool off and start to welcome him into the group.

 

 

            It started off as simple ignoring. They wouldn’t talk to Taehyung if they didn’t need to and the second youngest male of the group didn’t try to talk to them because he couldn’t. He didn’t feel welcome and it was enough for him to minimize his communication with them.

 

 

            Taehyung could feel their cold glares directed at him and sometimes he would curl up into himself so that his body would provide him with warmth and he would feel safe. But he didn’t blame any of the other guys for treating him like that. They were just confused and they didn’t want him to jeopardize anything.

 

 

            Sometimes their words hurt but Taehyung tried really hard to forget them, or at least to push them back so that they would surface back after weeks, maybe months.

 

 

            If Taehyung would have to, he probably couldn’t name all the times the other members had hurt him. None of them really knew how sensitive he was. No matter how badly s treated him, the second youngest of the group would put on a brave smile and would tell himself that everything will work out. Except that it never did and he felt himself drifting into misery with every passing moment.

 

 

            The members never noticed the way Taehyung’s smile would falter as they would belittle him. No one did, except Yoongi. And the older male was the only one that managed to cheer Taehyung up after he would be pushed down.

 

 

            The first time Taehyung cried was when he had found his clothes sprawled all over the floor and his books and notebooks ripped into pieces. The boy bit down onto his bottom lip in order to muffle down his cries but Hoseok and Jimin were there and they saw his reaction. To say that the two elders weren’t pleased would be a lie. They were euphoric that they managed to almost bring Taehyung to tears. They even high fived as the youngest occupant of the room fell to his knees in order to pick up his ruined things. That night, Taehyung laid on his bed for a few hours. He could still feel the way his band mates leered at him as he turned off his table lamp and he shuddered.

 

 

            That was also the first night Yoongi had offered to sleep in the same bed as the younger male. Taehyung almost said no but one look into the pale male’s eyes and he dumbly nodded his head in agreement. To say that the other members were happy the next morning would be a complete lie.

 

 

            The first time Taehyung had thought about leaving the band was when they had one of their final dance practices before shooting their debut MV. He couldn’t get the moves done and it seemed like it only riled his band mates on. Taehyung listened to every hurtful word Namjoon and Jungkook told him and he had to bite back the tears by the time the practice was over.

 

 

            The second youngest member of the group had to look at the ground as Namjoon’s venomous tongue lashed insults at him and he had to squeeze his eyes shut as he listened to the other members laughing at him. And for the first time Yoongi didn’t say a word to defend him. Taehyung was about to cry out loudly as his eyes met his pale hyung’s gaze.

 

 

            Yoongi was sending him a message. Taehyung almost cried in relief as he saw the way Suga glared at the other members. They were all being pricks and in Yoongi’s eyes Taehyung didn’t deserve any of this. Sure, Suga wasn’t the nicest person on earth and he had quite the temper sometimes, but he knew the wrongs and rights of what he can’t and can do. And making fun of Taehyung was a big no.

 

 

            Taehyung had told with a weak voice that he will stay longer to practice and he was met with yeah, you should, because you and a why are you even trying? And he didn’t even look at Yoongi as he turned around to face the mirror.

 

 

            The male stared at the mirror wall in front of him and studied his own reflection. Taehyung reminisced all the mistakes he had done during their practices. He had screwed up the dance and almost made Hoseok and Jin trip over his sprawled legs as he fell. He mixed up his words and they had to start over once, twice, trice, until Taehyung couldn’t count anymore how many times they had started over because of him.

 

 

            The boy glared at his own reflection as he tried to perfect the choreography but it didn’t happen. His legs would move in the wrong direction and his arms would sometimes make the wrong movements. Taehyung could feel tears of frustration building up as he felt arms wrapping around his thin waist and pulling him into another body.

 

 

            Taehyung didn’t have to look at the person to know who it was. Only Yoongi managed to smell so delicious, yet still musky. The younger boy was turned into Suga’s arms and he could fell the arms around him tightening and he pressed his face into the older male’s neck. He breathed in his scent and that was all it took for his tears to fall.

 

 

            It was really a mixture of emotions. Taehyung felt pathetic and frustrated that he couldn’t do anything right, but at the same time he felt relieved that at least Yoongi was there and maybe he would be able to forget for at least a little bit.

 

 

            The first time Taehyung had started truly believing his band mates’ words were right was after they had officially debuted. They told him that he was nothing, and he believed them. They told him that he was in the group just because he had a pretty face, and Taehyung believed that also. Jungkook had told him that he could never be able to surpass him in none of the three spheres of performing and the older boy just nodded his head. Jimin told him that he would never be able to dance like him and that he should simply quit because there was no space for him in the group. Hoseok had mocked his voice and the way he smiled and Taehyung’s face started darkening with depression. Jin only chuckled as he said that the younger boy could never reach his vocal levels and that he will always be just a backup singer. Namjoon didn’t even have to tell anything to Taehyung and the boy already felt crushed because the leader’s eyes had said everything. Yoongi had stood up for him but the words were enough to drown the boy in his sorrow.

 

 

            That night Taehyung didn’t join them in the celebration at the restaurant and he went straight back to the dorms. Not that any of his band mates except Suga would miss him. Taehyung didn’t know how long he had stayed sprawled on the living room’s floor but his thoughts drifted all over the place and he could feel his eyes stinging as his mind spat the insults his band members used on him.

 

 

            Taehyung knew what he needed and it came around quicker than expected. Yoongi came back to the dorms earlier than the others because he knew that Taehyung needed him and truthfully said, Suga needed the younger boy just as much as Taehyung needed him.

 

 

            The older male didn’t hesitate before laying on the ground next to Taehyung and taking his hand into his.

 

 

            The younger male tried to smile in gratitude but the corner of his lips twitched a little bit and they settled into a straight line. But it was enough for Yoongi. He just needed Taehyung to respond to him and to let him take care of the younger boy.

 

 

            The other members of Bangtan didn’t react when they saw the two of them sprawled on the ground. Jungkook simply sneered and all of them made their ways into their shared rooms.

 

 

            That night Taehyung and Yoongi slept on the couch, with the younger boy cuddled up into Suga’s side and the older male’s arm wrapped around V’s waist.

 

 

            Taehyung cried as Namjoon ripped his stuffed lion’s head off from its body. He was told by Jin that he should man up and stop being a child. The abuse had slowly lessened and now only once in a while they would come onto him. And it was mostly when they were stressed or angry at something that usually wasn’t even Taehyung anymore. And Hoseok and Jungkook had even tried to get closer to him but Taehyung still remembered.

 

 

            The boy couldn’t hold grudges against them because it was against his nature, but he couldn’t forget. And as long as he couldn’t forget they would still be in his mind, portrayed as monsters that haunted him when it was dark and cold.

 

 

            Taehyung cradled his ruined toy into his arms and he felt as if everything was a lie. The way he acted around the cameras was a lie. The way he talked about the other members during interviews was a lie. The way he smiled to the fans and everyone was a lie. His whole life right now was a lie and sometimes he swore that the line between reality and fantasy faded.

 

 

            The boy’s tears fell onto the mane of the ripped lion’s head and he let out a choked sod because this was the first time Yoongi was not here and Taehyung couldn’t do this without the older male holding him.

 

 

            The second youngest of the group had managed to cry himself to sleep while clutching onto his damaged stuffed toy and the sheets of his bed that nowadays belonged to both him and Yoongi.

 

 

            The pale older boy came home late after visiting a friend and he automatically made his way to their shared room to see what Taehyung was doing.

 

 

            Yoongi smiled as he saw the younger boy sleeping, but his smile was quickly wiped away from his face and replaced by a frown. Suga carefully took the damaged toy out of Taehyung’s arms and looked at the sleeping boy. The stuffed lion was the first toy Taehyung had gotten from his father and he loved it to bits and pieces. It was the only toy Taehyung had managed to save from his childhood and Yoongi almost gripped it too tight as he hissed at what his band mates did.

 

 

            Taehyung woke up the next morning with a light headache and his eyes scrunched up as he noticed that Yoongi was sleeping on his own bed. The younger boy lazily stood up and dragged himself over to the pale male.

 

 

            He crouched down in front of the sleeping male and ran a gentle finger down his temple to his jaw. Yoongi slowly opened his eyes at the sensation and smiled as his vision was filled with Taehyung. The older male took something from behind him and Taehyung’s eyes widened as he saw the object in Yoongi’s hand.

 

 

            Taehyung automatically wrapped his arms around the older male and Yoongi circled his limbs around the boy’s body. The two of them stared at each other and Taehyung could feel the corners of his mouth twitching upwards. Suga smiled in return because this was the first time in months that Taehyung had smiled so freely.

 

 

            The younger boy peppered Yoongi’s face with light kisses and Suga rubbed his thumb over Taehyung’s covered skin.

 

 

            A thousand thank yous were tattooed into Yoongi’s skin by the use of Taehyung’s lips and the only thing the older male could do was to pull the boy’s face away from him and close the gap between them, but this time, he connected their lips.

 

 

            The kiss was sweet and slow, the two of them not rushing into anything or trying to deepen the kiss. Taehyung swore that he could feel his mind slowly shutting off and Yoongi wasn’t feeling that much different.

 

 

            As the two of them parted, Yoongi smiled at the younger boy and nuzzled his nose into Taehyung’s hair.

 

 

            The younger boy held onto Yoongi with one of his hands and his other one clutched the stuffed lion that Suga had patched up during the night.

 

 

            And maybe Taehyung’s life wasn’t a lie because Yoongi was real and he wasn’t going anywhere without the younger male. And maybe their band mates’ words were simple lies that Yoongi had washed away.