Chapter 한: They Met Again

 

 

Five years later...

 

In Loving Memory of

PARK JI-SEOK

July 13, 1962 - June 10, 2009

 

 

I was blankly staring at the headstone in front of me as the unwanted memories flashed back relentlessly into my mind like toxic explosives. It haunts me; it kills me.

 

 

It's been five years since the death of my father, and I am the nefarious murderer. Despite my mother’s constant reminder and assurance that it was not my fault, I kept on blaming myself.  How can’t I? When I was the root and reason he took his own life.

 

 

 

Holding back the tears which threatened to escape; I closed my eyes in a defeat as I let myself be embraced by the melancholy.

 

 

Memories, memories, memories... they are my most frightening nightmares... the prize I had to endure in going against the world for love. The love that I lost and searched for five long years, yet never found. As they say, 'Love does not rewind itself. How can it certainly return when it's gone?'.

 

I may not be able to find him ever again so, even if I still love him, I am letting go of the last string of hope which I am still holding on. I would not look for him anymore and leave his memories in the past where it should belong.

 

 

'Goodbye, Donghae'

 

'Mianhae, Appa'

 

 

 

Before I finally opened my eyes, I let out a sigh to relieve the constricting pain in my heart. Taking the liberty, a sudden streak of tear run down my face. The air brushed softly on my skin which felt like an answer of forgiveness. I could never break the bridge that connects me to my past, but somehow I have to move on, for the sake of my family.

 

 

 

 

I turned around and headed towards the car parked nearby, restraining myself to be engulfed by the pain once again.

 

I exhaled deeply and gathered all the courage I could possibly muster to cheer myself up. “Fighting! Fighting! Ayayaya!!!” the words came out loudly as if an announcement to the whole universe.  I know I am just tricking myself because deep inside it still hurts but somehow it braves me to continue and live on.  With that I started the engine, drawn a forced smile on my face, and then headed for work.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

As the car wheels squealed into a halt I quickly went out and ran inside the office, chasing after the time. More than anything else I hate being late. I walked my way through the crowd at the lobby with long fast strides. Luckily, the elevator quickly opened up when I pressed the up button so I reached the 3rd floor in no time.

 

“Morning gorgeous!” my friend Bom, who is also a secretary at the same company, greeted me with unusual exuberance. She is always enthusiastic but today’s quite different than usual with the noticeable forborne giddiness in her voice.

 

I paused before taking the chair behind my desk. I narrowed my eyes in suspicion. “You sound unusually happy. What’s up?” stating my observation matter-of-factly. I raised my eyebrows anticipating for her to say something but she just kept on wiggling on her chair almost similar to a love-struck high school girl. Judging by the way she looked, I was right to think she’s in a serious struggle from letting out a dangerous squeal.

 

“What is it?!!” getting curious and equally excited with her little secret. “Palli!” I was growing impatient with her nonstop wiggles and muted giggles. She mouthed words which I didn’t quite understood so I stood up and went over to her desk across mine. I leaned forward and asked her again in a whisper, avoiding the curious gazes of the few passers-by.

 

“Your boss!!!” she replied in a high-pitched scream.

 

My excitement suddenly disappeared at her answer. I couldn’t think of anything interesting about my boss though he is undeniably a good man. My shoulders dropped down in disappointment as I march my way back to my desk. “What about him?” I asked with no more interest and sat lousily on my chair while browsing through several emails on my computer.

 

“You don’t seem interested with your NEW boss.” I jolted, reminded that the new director will be reporting today – which I completely forgot. I pinched the bridge of my nose and shifted my worried face back to my friend who looked perplexed with my reaction.  As realization dawned her, both her eyes and mouth opened widely in understanding.

 

“You forgot.” Bom said flatly stating the obvious and I bobbed my head in reply, still anxious that I have not reported to him yet. I followed her gaze as she nodded toward the closed door, gesturing me to show some manners and do whatever was expected to be done. I furrowed my brows looking at her yet she was grinning broadly, amused by my discomfort.

 

“Go inside!” the wicked Bom commanded. “He… is…” she held out her hand writing letters in the air ‘H.O.T’. I huffed. I guess I have completely lost all romantic interest in men but I feigned an excited smile, finally relaxing myself a bit.

 

Before I could take another step towards the office, the phone rang making me settle back to my chair quickly. “Come inside” the voice on the other line instructed briefly then hung up in a matter of second.

 

Bom eyed me with a questioning look and I simply shrugged resuming my tracks towards the office. After a couple of knocks and no one answered, I sneaked a peek inside but didn’t see anyone so I let myself in.

 

The door shut with a click. I turned around and scanned the room looking for someone unfamiliar.

 

“Take a seat.” he spoke without shifting his gaze. I jerked a little, finally aware of his presence.

 

So this is the new director. He was standing at one corner of the room. His back was on me while he appeared to be immersed in thoughts while looking through the floor-to-ceiling glass window.

 

My brain worked on its own as it examined the man, confirming the truthfulness of Bom’s word. Judging from his posture, he seems young, but what really caught my attention was his stylishly disheveled blonde hair.

 

Suddenly I remembered that I haven’t reported sooner and I felt the need to make an apology. “Sir, I am sorry for not---“ he cut me short by holding his right hand up, signifying a stop. So I did as I was told and walked towards the vacant chair on my right. The room fell silent again; I almost tiptoed on my flats in order not to make any unnecessary sound that might distract him.

 

 

I was fidgeting on my seat, feeling impatient and anxious at the same time. It was almost a minute until he turned to face me.

 

 

 

I am not usually observant about my boss’s clothes but my eyes turned scanner mode again.

 

Well, he is dandy and cute but not really hot. He is wearing a plain white shirt over an ed black suit coat. He started walking to the leathered chair; both his thumbs are hooked in the pockets of his faded jeans. Black and white sneakers completed his outfit. He certainly looked cool and very different from the typical businessmen I know.

 

“So…” his left forearm rested on the desk as he leaned forward, the other supported his head. The serious look on his face reminds me of my worries that he might not get a good first impression of me. I was looking down on my knees so he slightly angled his head to the right to get a better view of my face. I shifted my gaze to look at his direction only to see him wear an amused grin that showed his gums. I was confused. I did not expect such reaction but I returned it with a smile, somehow relieved that he is not mad.

 

“Woah!” he exclaimed then scooted away from the desk, while covering his eyes with the back of his hands. “Don’t smile too much," Huh? Why?  "it’s blinding me.” Oh.

 

I bit my lower lip, restraining myself from laughing at the cheesiness of his pick-up line. It has been so long since I last heard one. 

 

 

“I’m Hyukjae” his smile is comforting yet I was weirded by his actions. It is not common for a director or anyone on top position to be obliged to personally introduce himself to his secretary.

 

He held out his hand to shake mine. I automatically stood up and took it. “I’m Sandara Park Sir. I am glad I finally met you.” I bowed down then pulled out my hand from his grip but he didn’t let it go. Instead, he pulled me closer to him.

 

“You look even prettier up close” he complimented with a boyish grin. Flirt! I looked down again avoiding his probing gaze penetrating through me.

 

He is starting to creep me out a little. How can he be so flirt in a broad daylight?

 

 

Hyukjae chuckled then finally let go of my hand. “I hope I am not creeping you out.” I answered with an assuring smile that says ‘I am not’. There’s no way I could be honest to him in this situation.

 

“I am just here to warn you about the director...” his tone was serious which completely contradicts the silly expression in his eyes. He is playful and looks nasty.

 

“Huh…?” I thought he is the director. Both my eyes and mouth opened in unison, my face displayed an undeniable confusion.

 

“Do you really think I am the director?” his laughter filled the room. He shot me an unbelieving look. “Seriously?” he laughed again.

 

If he is not the director then…

 

“Yaaahh! Stop flirting HYUKJAE!”

 

I was still confused with his revelation that I did not notice someone else's presence in the room.

 

 

My body automatically bent forward, bowing 90 degrees, at the thought that the new guy who came in might be the real director.

 

 

“What do you mean flirting? I am doing nothing but being a gentleman here.” Hyukjae defended but the other was unconvinced.

 

I felt uncomfortable and embarrassed with the situation that I could not even raise my head. I think this is worse than reporting late. I wasn't flirting anyway. Though I was undoubtedly the object of another's flirtatious act.

 

“Let me guess…” he continued teasing.

 

“Hey!!!” Hyukjae yelled and ran his way to the other guy to cover his mouth but he ran away from him to the back of my chair while I am still in an awkward position.

 

I slowly raised my head only to see Hyukjae right in front of me, so I am now in between the two bantering male adults in the room. Very awkward. Should I excuse myself and let them play by themselves? I seriously felt so out of place.

 

 

 

 

Hyukjae kept on trying to stop him from what he was about to say. “Hey! Hey! Hey!!!!” he pleaded again but the guy behind me just laughed it off.

 

His laughter sounds so familiar that I wanted to look at him but I fought the urge to do so.

 

“Did he tell you how bright your smile is?” I think the question was addressed to me. Both of them shared another round of boisterous laughter “…that it’s blinding him?”

 

“You’re such a bummer! That’s why it never worked with anyone!”

 

“Mianhe Hyuk” he apologized but he did not sound a bit sorry. "I just love you so much I couldn't afford losing you bro."

 

Hyukjae narrowed his eyes to the man behind me “I see. Now I understand your abstinence BRO. Is it why you haven't done it with Jes--?”

 

 

 

Silence.

 

 

 

“Bulls eye!” Hyukjae remarked, feeling victorious.

 

“Hyuk, that’s enough!” the voice coming at the back became serious.

 

Now, it is Hyukjae’s turn to .

 

“Karma, karma, karma is looking for you.

What you gonna do when they come for you?

Karma, karma, karma is gonna find you

What you gonna do~”

 

Hyukjae kept on singing and dancing, with his own choreographed steps, to 2NE1 CL's latest song which is also one of Dara's current favorite.

 

“You can go now Hyuk!” he commanded in a more authoritative tone.

 

Instead of heading to the door, Hyukjae went back to the director’s seat gesturing him to sit down.

 

“I’m very sorry Sandara-ssi…” Eunhyuk apologized.

 

Finally, I am visible again.

 

“Sandara?” the other guy repeated.

 

I sensed confusion in the way he sounded at the mention of my name, or surprise.

 

 

His voice is familiar.

 

It feels nostalgic.

 

 

I fought against my own resistance and finally decided to look at him.

 

Tell me, is this a dream or a nightmare?

 

My hand couldn't believe what my eyes were seeing, as if it has a life of its own, it started moving to confirm if it is another illusion. I couldn't steady my trembling hand as it reaches out for him. However, before I could even touch his face, he forcefully shoved my hand away. It hardly slammed at the edge of the desk, making me wince a little.

 

It was enough of a confirmation as the pain shot up my arm. I knew then, I wasn’t hallucinating.

 

 

 

 

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[A/N] I am not really sure about posting this but I posted it anyway. Ke ke ke. I am one confused and indecisive author so sorry to all those who subscribed. I would just probably disappoint you from time to time but I hope you could help me out somehow. I do have a plot, okay? I just don't know how to write it in words. ^__________^  Puh-lease!!! Teach me how to write nicely! TT__TT

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