Ah Ri Yung' s pov

I trace the raindrop on my window.

The days were getting heavier. 

It was raining. 

Most people hate rain but now i cant but find it interesting.

It gave the city a different look. 

Children were happily walking down the street with their colorful umbrellas. 

They contrasted the gloomy Seoul weather. 

It was almost like the weather portrayed  my feelings. 

Dark, gloomy and unwanted.

Yes, the days became heavier... 

But pretending helped alot. 

Pretending like it doesnt hurt, pretending like it didnt happed. 

But... Somehow when you are sitting in bed at night. 

Pretending doesn't work. 

Instead, you are greeted with unwanted tears. 

Damp cheeks and red eyes became my fashion staple.

Fashionable right?

It will last.

 It will... 

But everything ends right?

So when will this heartbreak end?

Chaerin-ah calls me everyday to check on me. 

Like i am a lunatic or something.

Sometimes i feel like that. 

Like i have gone crazy, but then i remember.

I am just heartbroken.

" AhRi baby? Are you alright?" her voice asks carefully. 

" I am fine." I answer

" Do you wanna get some coffee maybe?" she asks 

I could sense the hope on her voice.

" Sorry Chae, I'm working on something." I reject 

It wasn't a lie actually. 

I really was working on something very important. 

" Oh? Is it a song?!" she asks excitedly. 

I chuckle, Chae always loved my songs. 

One of them were Lonely and I Don't Care.

I wrote those just for 2ne1.

" Yes, yes it is BabyRin." 

" Omoo! What do you have for now? Actually wait!! Im coming to your house to hear it live! Otoke?" she says. 

" Kekeke okaay. Be here in a half an hour?" 

" Sure!! See you AhRi! Saranghae!" 

" Saranghae."

After the call i sit up lazily

Ugh the house needs some cleaning.

I have been moping in it for weeks.

Tissues and beer cans everywhere.
 
Not really a feminine look. 

After cleaning it i set out the lyric sheet. 

Doing some vocal exercises i prepare my voice. 

Knock. Knock.

I walk up to the door looking through the peep hole to see Chae.

I open the door to be strangled by a bear hug. 

" AhRiii!" Chaerin yells.

I laugh at her actions. 

She was always so good too me. 

She understood. 

" Chae!! Easy!" I chuckle at her pout.

Walking her to the living room i ask

" Want something to drink?"

" Rosé is fine." she says. 

Rosé? Huh, always classy Chae. 

I get the bottle and sit down.

I can feel her gaze on me.

" So... How are you?" she asks.

I look at her and see concern. 

" Fine." I answer simply.

" AhRi? I know you aren't fine. Fine, is a excuse for not saying what you really feel. At least in your case." she says like a professional therapist.

I chuckle, she always knew me too well. 

" Well, you know... The same. Trying to get better..." I sigh.

" AhRi baby? It will be okay!" she reassures me.

" Thanks Chae." I smile.

She claps loudly making me jump. 

" OKAY! Lets hear that song!" 

" Oh, sure!" 

I take the sheet and smile bitterly.

" Its ironically called 
Geuriwohaeyo [ Missing You] "
 
I announce.

Khm khm.

I start signing trying to keep my calm. 

This song, its special to me.

It is me.

Don’t be so comfortable like that
Because we’re still strangers
Don’t rush me like a child
Because it haven’t started yet

I dont like the youth’s love like playing with fire

I’m just shaking a bit, but I’m okay
No, the truth is

I still hate you, you who left me
My cold heart is still

Missing you
Missing you
Missing you

Missing you
Missing you

Don’t be so bright like that
Because the world is dark

How can I smile brightly (what?)
If you’ll look closely, I am sad
I know I’ve been there before

I dont like the calculative love of adults
I’m just tired but i’m okay
No, the truth is

I still hate you, you who left me
My cold heart is still

Missing you
Missing you
Missing you

Missing you
Missing you

The love of my young days is ending like this
You have to be happy
Even if a long time passes by, we’ll still remember each other
Those times when there was still “us”

- I can feel myself shaking. Tears blurred my vision. As i sensed a hand on mine. I look up to be meet with Chaerin' s sad eyes.
Slowly she hugs me and holds me like that. 

I whisper the last part

"Those times when there was still “us”." 

I start sobbing uncontrollably.

It was just to much, i cant do this anymore.

It is too much.