I closed the door behind me. 
My heart ached so much. 
I sank down to my knees right in front of the door. 
My eyes were empty. 

After listening to that conversation Teo had with Yun. 
After seeing them both together.
Seeing how Yun touched Teo's cheeks and wipe away his tears that I had created. 
Why did I do that?
Did my anger bubble up for nothing?
Did I hurt him so much that I made him cry?

My phone rang and interrupt my thoughts. 
It was Yun. 
Why did Yun call me? 
I threw my phone all cross the room in anger. 
Why didn't my anger ever stop?
Why couldn't I control my anger when I talked to Teo?

I hit the little table that was next to me, so hard the lamp fell down right beside my hand and got smashed in pieces. 

The phone stop ringing. 

The porcelain split all over the place. 
I smashed my fist on the porcelain pieces and screamed.

Why did I take out my anger on something that could hurt me so bad?
I don't know. 

I was just sitting there.
Couldn't move. 
Didn't wanted to move. 
Scared I might hurt something more if I moved. 

The phone rang again. 
"Leave me alone!"
My voice cracked.
I had enough.
I stood up and walked to the phone and answered it. 
"What?!"
My voice.
I needed to control the feelings. 

"It's Teo... He..."
Yun's voice was shaking. 
"Teo...?"
My voice had calmed down. 
I tried to have a proper conversation. 
"He fainted...!" 
The panic grasped Yun's voice. 
"Have he taken his medicine?" 
My voice was still calm. 
"Yes... I don't know what's going on! Sammy, please come!"

I ran out from the door. 
"Tell me where you are?"
My voice was calm.
If I showed that I was as scared as Yun was, he would break down, for sure. 
"In the park. By the lake. Oh Sam, I'm so scared. I called the ambulance."
"Good. I'm almost there. Whatever you do, do not leave him. And make sure he's breathing." 
"Okay..."

Yun's voice was weak. 
And I hang up on the call. 
Not able to ran and talk at the same time. 

I could hear the ambulance and ran as fast as I could toward the park. 
I got there before the ambulance. 
But where was Teo and Yun?

"SAM!" 
Yun shouted from a short distance. 
He stood up and I saw them. 

When I came up to them I sat down beside Teo. 
"What happened?"
I asked while catching my breath. 
"I don't know, god, I don't know. I'm so scared Sam! He just collapsed!"
Yun's voice was still shaking. 
"Yun. Listen to me. It's not your fault and you did great. It's going to be fine. The ambulance is here. Okay?"

Trying to calm down someone that is in panic, is a difficult thing. 
Yun didn't seem to calm down. 
At all. 

The ambulance let us two also ride in the ambulance. 
Which was a relief for both me and Yun. 
I think. 

"Let me see that." 
The ambulance man said to me and took my hand. 
Oh right, my hand was hurt. 
I hadn't payed attention to it since Yun called. 
"I can fix that right now."

The ambulance man took care of my hand and put bandage all around it. 
My hand looked like a boxers hand. 
All tied up with bandage. 

As we sat there, we didn't spoke. 
Not a single word. 
We just held Teo's hands. 
That's it. 

When he got into the hospital, we had to wait outside the room. 
I think it was for the best.

"Does it hurt? The hand I mean."
Yun looked at me and I shook my head. 
It didn't hurt. 
What did hurt was my heart. 
Not the hand. 
My heart. 

A doctor came out from the room one hour later. 
All he told us was that Teo was still unconscious. 
He also told us the reason why. 

Teo hadn't eaten. 
Nor drinking. 
Nor sleeping. 
And on top of that...
Not taken his medicine. 

"But he told me he had taken the medicine!"
Yun raised his voice. 
"He must have tortured himself..." 
I said and sat down on the chair in the waiting room again. 

I couldn't do other than feel that all this was my fault. 
I was after all the one that had been angry with him. 
I was after all the bad guy. 

After another thirty minutes the doctor told us that Teo had waken up. 
Both Yun and I rushed in to meet Teo. 

He sat up in the bed when we entered the room. 
When he saw Yun he smiled. 
When I came in to the room his smile disappeared.
It wasn't strange.
He had the right to be mad at me. 

"I was so scared." 
Yun said and took Teo's hand. 
I looked away. 
My heart beat faster again. 
Am I still angry?
How can I be angry at this stage?

"Yun... Can you leave Sam and me alone for a moment?" 
Teo smiled at Yun. 
Yun smiled back. 
He walked out from the room. 

"I was worried."
I said with my heart beating faster and faster. 
"I'm sorry."
Teo wasn't the one who supposed to apologize.
"No. Don't be. It's all my fault. I shouldn't have said all those things."
I went up to the window and opened it. 
There were kids playing outside. 
Patients with the same outfit that Teo had. 

"I am sorry, Teo."

Teo lay down in his bed. 
I could see that he was in pain. 
"I'm sorry for causing you so much pain. It wasn't right of me to harm you."
He didn't respond. 
At all. 
He just laid there. 
Breathing. 
Looking up on the ceiling. 

"I'm the leader, and I acted like a fool. I just got so mad... I should have controlled my feelings and I'm sorry for... Everything. Really. I am."
I didn't really know what to say more than that. 
My head hurt. 
My heart hurt. 

"I'm the one who acted like a fool, Sam."
Teo said. 
"I shouldn't have answered Yun's feelings. I had had a big horrible fight with you and Yun happened to be there to comfort me."
Teo cried. 
Again. 
Why am I always in the scenario when he's crying?
Am I that horrible?

I went up to his bed. 
Kneeled down at his side. 
Took my hand. 
Dried his tears. 

"Teo..."
I said and he looked at me. 
"I'm sorry for shouting at you. I... I didn't mean this to happen. Look at you. Lying in a hospital bed. I hoped this scene never would happen. And it's my fault you're here."

Teo took my hand. 
Pressed it to his heart. 
I could feel the heartbeats. 
I looked him in the eyes. 

"It's not your fault. I'm the one who didn't eat, drink nor taking my medicine. How could that possibly be YOUR fault?"
Teo's eyes never lied. 

"Well... I am the cause of your sleeplessness..." 
He laughed a bit and I smiled. 
"You're so naughty, Sam."
He shook his head and laughed again. 

At that time.
At that moment. 
I felt the pain in my heart floating away. 
Like a river. 
My heart was calm again.