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            “Honey, I need to speak to you.”

“What’s up, ma?”

    “You... You’re diagnosed with primary cardiac tumor, which is heart cancer. You’ve been experiencing excruciating chest pains lately right? And sometimes those nights where you get an anxiety attack, and you don’t know why you’re having it? Those are all symptoms of heart cancer, darling.”

 

    Today is December 20th 2013, it was less than a week to Christmas - the brightest time of the year; and here I am laying on a disgusting, white hospital bed. I’ve grown to hate the doctors, nurses - hospitals in general. Lately, I’ve been attending hospital appointments a lot because of my stupid chest pains.

    “You can’t be serious, ma,” I said after a few minutes of silence. “Honey, this is no joke.” My mother replied seriously, her eyes hardening in anger after hearing me ask that ridiculous question, but soon softening and began to get moist with warm tears.

    “They said you won’t have much time to live,” she choked on her words. “You have a year left to live...”

    “Ma, I still have a year and I’m pretty sure I’ll be able to bypass that; many other cancer patients have and some have even cured it!”

    “...Honey, primary cardiac tumor is rare... Which means they are incurable.” my mother drew the line and it shut me up for good. I didn’t know how I felt - I wanted to laugh but I wanted to cry at the same time.

    Beep. Beep. Beep. Be-beep.

    “Woohyun, honey, I am so sorry,” my mother started sobbing to me.

    “Ma, why are you apologising?” She said nothing and continued sobbing. It was too painful for her to even reply. Tears were slowly running down my face as I stared at the dirty, blank wall in front of me, mouth agape, my ears seemed to be filled with constant annoying beeps and my mum's muffled sobs.

    I laid on my bed, helpless and shocked. Hours have passed by and nothing has changed. My mother was still quietly sobbing to herself while I lay on the bed, my death feels like it is inching closer and closer by the minute.

 

    After being discharged from the hospital, I slowly walked towards my mothers car and we drove home. Silence hugged us but it wasn’t the comfortable silence, it was an awkward silence; we didn't know what to say to each other. The information that my mother told me still hasn’t sunk in yet.

    “Ma, can you stop at the mountain park? I want to walk around the park for a bit before I go home, you know, to clear my head,” I broke the silence but continued to stare out the window. “Sure sweetie, just call me if anything happens, call me when you need picked up and don’t be out too late,” my mother said as she slowly pulled up to the pavement and I walked out. “Thanks, ma,” was the only thing I could say before I lifelessly walked towards the park at a slow pace.

 

    It was around 5pm and people were still out but they were mainly passing by the park to get to other destinations. The gray clouds covered the once blue sky threatened to drop some rain now and then but it still remained clear. The mountain park was famous for it’s location; funny enough, it wasn’t located in a mountain sadly, but it was perfectly set right on a hillside that overlooked the beautiful city of Seoul. There were shops nearby and it wasn’t that hard to get into the center of Seoul where all the shopping districts and gaming centres were, so many people came to this park so it was no surprise to see packs of people here.

 

    As I was walking slowly to the edge of the park to overlook the city, I saw a girl - a particularly petite sized female, about 4 or 5 inches smaller than me wearing a long, pale cream cardigan with knee-high length, black socks and gray boots. At first, I thought this girl was a rebel kid refusing to join the rest of the fun with her family until I approached her. I stood beside her and lay my arms on top of the cold, brick fence and leaned over to stare at the horizon.

    “I’ve never seen you here before. First time coming here?” I spoke out, not looking at her. I heard a slight gasp and saw in the corner of my eyes, her arms retracting and then set to her sides. “Y-yes,” she softly replied. I glanced at her and paused a little. The petite woman was gorgeous. She had a small line of eyeliner placed on her eyelids, her cheeks had a hint of rosy blush and her lips were a tinted with a colour of pale red. She looked like a doll.

    I coughed. “I-I’m uh, I’m Nam Woohyun. What’s your name?”

    “My name is Lee Sujin...”

    “Sujin huh? Beautiful name for a young, beautiful lady,” I winked at her and saw her smile. My heart was going crazy and the chest pains were slowly coming back. I clutched my chest and turned away from Sujin as I took deep breaths to calm myself down.

    “Uh, Woohyun? Are you alright?” Sujin’s voice took me out of my daze and I turned back to her.

“Yeah, nothing’s wrong I’m fine. My heart kind of fluttered whenever you smiled because you are very, very pretty,” I lamely said my excuse. Sujin blushed and giggled.

   

    “So what brings you here today Sujin?” I turned my body to look at her.

    “Oh, um, my family is here with my niece so they’re all having fun and I just... Wanted to have some alone time, you know, to clear my head.” she spoke out the words I said to my mother.. “What about you Woohyun-ssi?”

    “I-I uh, I’m the same. I wanted to clear my head so I came here.” I stuttered and mentally hit myself in the head. Stupid Woohyun.

    “Ah really? That’s funny,” Sujin laughed. “Or- I mean, that’s quite funny how we... You know..” Sujin blushed out of embarrassment and turned away quietly laughing at herself. I laughed too. “Yeah, I know hahaha.”

 

    Just like that, our friendship bloomed. It turns out that we both have some things in common - we both like to sing and dance, we both have a dream of becoming singers and we really like aegyo, although she finds my aegyo cringy but that doesn’t matter to me. The thing I didn’t mention though, was that I had heart cancer. I didn’t want to ruin the moment and I wasn’t 100% sure yet that I could trust her. She seems like a wonderful and trustworthy person, but I have trusted too many people in the past to fall for it again.

    “Are you in a band?” Sujin asked.

    “Yeah, I am! It's called Infinite; there’s 7 members and I’m the main vocalist. Should I introduce you to them sometime? They’re okay guys and I’m pretty sure if you can get along with me you’ll get along with them just fine,” I smiled at her. “Sure! That’d be great!” One thing I took a mental note of: she has a beautiful eye smile. It compliments her petite face even more and made my heart flutter.

    “What about you, Sujin-ssi?”

    “Um, I wouldn’t call it a band but I have 2 other friends that sing with me. We don’t really have a name but we sing for one of the girl’s in law’s churches and they dubbed us ‘Heaven’s Voices’. Silly right?” Sujin laughed and smiled at the thought. “Wow, if they dubbed you three heaven’s voices, you must be amazing at singing!”

    “And since you’re the main vocalist of your band, I’m pretty sure you have a nice voice too,” she softly smiled at me. “Well, not only am I the lead vocalist but I am also one of the prettiest, but of course, every prince needs a princess right?” I jokingly nudged Sujin and she caught on faster that I imagined. “Are you asking me to be your princess?”

    “Yes, your majesty, that would be very delightful,” I got up and bowed like I was a ballroom dancer.    

      “Woohyun-ah, stop,” Sujin laughed and covered , waving her other hand in the air telling me to sit down.

    “May I ask you how old you are?”

    “I’m 20, and you?”  “I’m 23,” I replied, flashing off my eye smile. “Since I'm older than you, you have to call me oppa."

    “Oppa? I’ve never called anyone oppa before...”

    “Well, try it now!”

    “Okay... Woohyun oppa,” Sujin flashed a grin and I clapped like a 10 year old child who won a competition.

 

    We continued to chat until the moon rose high and the night sky overlapped the city, the twinkling stars showed their faces and sparkled beautifully.

    “Wah oppa! Look! It’s so pretty!” Sujin clapped and ran over to the edge of the park where we first started talking and leaned over. “It’s so pretty~” she whispered to herself, as her face lit up and her grin never left her face. “It’s as pretty as you, Sujin-ah,” I smiled sweetly at her and watched as she blushed and lightly hit my arm. “Oppa, shh!” she giggled and looked back at the city.

    “It’s even more beautiful since it’s almost Christmas...” “Yeah...”

    “Oh, oppa are you okay?”

    “Yeah! I’m fine, I was just mesmerised at how beautiful the city and you look...” A comfortable silence fell on us as we continued to gaze at the twinkling city. It was truly beautiful and we were extremely happy to look at this view with each other. We were enjoying our moment until another voice rang and echoed throughout the hill.

    “Sujin-ah! Let’s go, we’re going home now!” another female in her late 40s shouted which looked to be Sujin’s mother. “Ah, yes, coming! Sorry Woohyun, but I need to go, uh I’ll see you later?”

    “Ah yeah! Um, do you have your phone with you? Maybe I can get your number and we can schedule for another dat- I mean meeting...” Smooth move Woohyun!

    “Ah, yeah, here,” She handed me her phone and I quickly typed in my number. “I’ll call you later okay? See you!” Sujin waved as she quickly ran towards her family car and hopped in. I stood at the same place and waved until I saw her car slowly vanishing. I sighed and I looked down at my phone and grinned like a 5 year old that got his favourite race car toy. Then, with my luck my chest started to painfully hurt again. I clenched my chest while my face screwed up in pain. I took deep breaths and soon enough I started rolling on the ground and before I knew it, I out.

 

    Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. The same annoying noise entered and left my ears. It felt like deja vu. I opened my eyes and was greeted the same view I had a few hours ago. I looked around the room inspecting my surroundings and I saw my mother on the same seat sitting on my right like she was a few hours ago. Her head was laid on the back of her hands, (which were obviously right beside my legs) face facing away from me. Her shoulders were calmly lifting up and down so I guessed she was sleeping. I tried to move without waking up my mother, but that plan failed.

    "Oh Woohyun? You're awake? ...Oh my goodness, Woohyun!!" My mother jumped up and hugged me I groaned and lifted my right hand to pat her back. "Yes, ma, it's me," I spoke, my voice croaked which hurt my throat.

    "Oh, my baby, what happened to you?" my mother cupped my face and squeezed my cheeks together now and then.

    "I was in the park and suddenly my chest started hurting and... I out."

    "...Honey, be careful. What were you even doing?"

    "I was just... Overlooking the city..."

    "If that man hadn't of found you, I don't know what would have happened!" my mother sobbed once again.

"Man?"

"Yeah, he said that he saw you laying on the ground, and when he approached you he thought there was something wrong and when you didn’t wake up he called the ambulance."

 

    Right on time, the doctor, a nurse and a man that wore a leather jacket and acid washed, ripped jeans with his bright ginger hair spiked up with hints of brown here and there entered. My eyes widened at the person.

 

    "Woohyun-ssi, how are you feeling?" The doctor began.

    "I'm feeling better, thank you."

    "Good. Sunggyu-ssi, can you leave the room please?" The hamster man nodded and left the room. "Woohyun-ssi, you must take care of yourself more. Your heart cancer is slowly getting worse, and if you do not take care of yourself your lifespan could be cut short and you will experience excruciating pain more frequently." Silence fell in the room. I glanced at my mother and saw that she was shocked. She didn't cry though, she had no more tears left to cry and with her constant nagging to herself, she probably told herself to be strong for me.

    "I'll take note of that, thank you doctor." I bluntly replied.

    "You may be discharged now. But really, take care of yourself."

     "Thank you, doctor. I'll try my best to take care of myself." I bowed slightly and left the room with my mum trailing behind me.

 

    “Woohyun-ah!” Sunggyu approached me.

    “Hey hyung! I haven’t seen you in a while...”

    “Yeah, sorry I was away to Busan for a few days with my family; my sister got married.” Sunggyu flashed his eye smile.

    “Oh really? Tell her I said congratulations and good luck on her marriage,” I chuckled.

    Sunggyu and I ended up talking to each other for a long time before Sunggyu had to leave to go pick up his sister and now brother-in-law.

 

    Mother and I ended up going to the nearest cafe to the hospital and settled down there. She ordered us a latte to warm us up in the freezing temperature that spreads around the city during the month of December. It was so cold, it was even difficult to breathe - noses were red and sore from the prickly, icy weather.

    “Honey please, don’t ever be reckless again okay? I don’t want another re-run of this again.” My mother’s worried voice snapped me out of my dreaming state. I slowly glanced at her and smiled, taking her stiff, cold hands into my hands. “Umma, don’t worry. I promise I’ll take care of myself better.” her eyes shot open. I don’t usually call her umma because I feel as if there is too much formality in it. Your mother is suppose to be your best friend but also someone you should admire - of course you should have manners and respect her but it doesn’t hurt to joke about sometimes; it’s like giving pet names to your romantic partner, you say their names whenever things get serious but day to day you use a pet name.

    “Here you go, two lattes,” a soft, innocent female voice rang out breaking the comfortable silence that fell upon us. I looked up and there she was - Lee Sujin. “Oh, Sujin!” a smile grew on my face and immediately lit up my face. “Oh, annyeong oppa,” her eye smile never failed to make me melt inside.

    “I didn’t know you worked here!”

    “Oh, it’s a family cafe. I don’t usually work here because I work at another cafe downtown, but I always help out whenever I’m not working in the other cafe... I hope that isn’t confusing,” she softly giggled as she lifted the tray and hid . “No no, it all makes sense...” I continued to stare at her beautiful brown orbs, a soft smile slowly taking over my mouth. She was incredibly gorgeous.

    “Um... I should get back to work now, it was nice seeing you Woohyun oppa!” she waved to me before gracefully walking back to the counter to grab another table’s order. I couldn’t stop looking at her, she was like - no, she IS an angel.

    “Ey, what’s this? My Woohyun found a girl? Is that why you were out in the park for so long?” My mother poked me with a sly smile on her face.

    “Shh, ma!” I embarrassingly laughed and gently slapped her hand away.

    We drank our lattes comfortably as we spoke about Sujin and many other random things that came to mind. A mother is always the greatest friend you can talk to.

 

    Time ticked by and soon it was almost midnight and the cafe was closing up. “I didn’t know there were cafes that closed this late,” my mother said as she approached Sujin at the counter. “Ah, yeah, I guess that’s why many people tend to come to our cafe, because it opens late,” she giggled and I stared lovingly at her.

 

    After that, Sujin and I met up more frequently and my heart appointments at the hospitals slowly died down to the point where I only go once in a few months for a check up. Things were going great - I had the most beautiful girl beside me, my mother is healthy and happy and my heart seemed to calm down. How could this get any better? ...Asking Sujin to be my girlfriend.

    I asked her to become my girlfriend late January. We only knew each other for a short while but I knew she was already a keeper. I didn’t know who was more happy and excited, Sujin or my mother. My mother couldn’t stop screaming, she was ecstatic that we got together after so long of her telling her to ask her on a date and ask her to become my girlfriend.

    “Sujin-ah,” I began. I mustered up my courage and asked her out on a date. I brought her to Namsan tower - a place where she requested to go to for a long time now. “I know we’ve only known each other for a few weeks, but... You’ve been such a wonderful friend and you are beyond beautiful, without you, it’ll be like a spoon without chopsticks, a flower without it’s petals, me without you, I’m lost. Will you be my girlfriend?”

    She took me by surprise and started giggling, which suddenly turned into a laughing fit. “W-wae? Do you not like what I just said? Should I rephrase it?” I started to panic and I grabbed her hands.

    “Calm down oppa, I was just laughing at how much that sounded like a proposal,” she started laughing again. “I’m serious though! Will you be my girlfriend?”

    “Yes, I will be your girlfriend, oppa,” she sweetly smiled at me before her answer settled in my head. I lifted her and spun her around as my face lifted in joy. Her squeals and laughs were so addictive to hear; I couldn’t get enough of her, it was like fate brought us together.

    “Oh man, that was just... Wow,” I said as I set her down. “I love you, Woohyun oppa,” and with that, we shared a passionate, never forgotten kiss which I felt like it lasted forever. Everything froze around us, we didn’t care if people looked, we didn’t care about anything, we were happy and that was all we asked for.

 

    “Hey, what do you want to do today?” I asked as I boredly sat on my bed.

    “Hmm... How about, you finally let me meet your band members?” Sujin chuckled as my eyes widened.

    “Oh, how could I forget! Yes, let’s go see them now,” I smiled excitedly as I took out my phone and dialed Sunggyu’s number, asking to get the other kids to go to a certain location.

 

    “Guys! This is my girlfriend, Sujin; Sujin, these are my band mates,” I said, pointing towards the line of men that were standing in front of us. “Sunggyu, Dongwoo, Howon, Sungyeol, Myungsoo and Sungjong.” The 6 boys waved in sync and bowed. “Nice to meet you!” they all chorused together, one by one going up to shake hands with Sujin.

    “Annyeong, I’m Sujin, Woohyun oppa’s girlfriend.” She bowed as well, a charming smile complimented her thin face as the boys smiled at how pretty she looked.

    “-Which means she is mine if you guys do not know, so no touchy touchy!” I said, a teasing smile flashed as I wrapped my arms protectively across Sujin’s shoulders, pulling her into me.

    We camped out in my house, buying take out food and sharing funny stories with one another as the night grew old and soon was replaced with the bright rays of the sun.

 

☂☂☂

 

    Months later, Sujin and I were still a very happy couple. We would still get the same fluttery feelings inside our stomachs every time we see each other, still blush when we kiss like it was our first time. The feeling never goes away.

    Although it was very happy, unfortunately I got sicker. My heart disease has gotten worse, and nowadays it has been hard for me to move about a lot without being out of breath quickly and my chest hurting. Even though I try to reassure Sujin that I’m alright, it never works.

 

I have been going to more frequent check ups lately and now and again I’ve have been rushed to hospital. Now and then Sujin would bring a large bag of food for the two of us to eat as a nice way to catch up on new business that we didn’t have time to share about.

 

“How have you been oppa?” her soft voice rang out in the silent room as I stared at the blank wall in a completely different world. I was yet again in the hospital because of a recent pass out and intense chest pains.

“I’m managing.” I didn’t blink and my eyes were still locked onto the blank wall.

“I made food for you.”

“Great, what food is it? Is it your homemade kimchi jigae?” I broke my intense staring contest with the wall and placed my eyes on the view of my girlfriend. She nodded and lifted up the bag, gently taking out a large box of kimchi before setting it onto the small table and lifted out other foods.

“I’m still surprised you still bring large amounts of food,” I chuckled. “It must be hard for you, cooking constantly and always having to clean up. I’m sorry.” My head dipped as my fingers fiddled with each other.

“Oppa, I enjoy doing it because I know you'll be happy. I’d do anything to make you happy, you know that oppa,” Sujin sweetly smiled as she approached me, giving a light kiss on the forehead. Before she could pull away, I immediately cupped her face and brought her down, smashing my lips against her soft, plump lips. I lost count of the amount of days I haven’t been able to kiss Sujin, let’s just say it felt like a very long time.

 

Sujin and I ate comfortably, catching up on some recent news with her colleagues. Soon, it was late and Sujin bid her goodbyes and yet again I was in the small room alone. I wasn’t staying in the hospital for long; only a day. I yet again stare at the blank wall in front of me as I thought about my life; about Sujin and I; about our future together.

It was already December 12th 2014, another two weeks before I have been diagnosed with primary cardiac tumor for a year already. A year has gone by in a blink of an eye, and my mother’s words still rang out in my head.

 

“They said you won’t have much time to live,” she choked on her words. “You have a year left to live...”

“...Honey, primary cardiac tumor is rare... Which means they are incurable.”

 

What if she said was true? What would happen to Sujin? What about my mother? Questions continuously barged into my head, slowly making my head ring with pain. I shook my head before closing my eyes, slowly dropping onto the pillow and fell into deep slumber.

 

Today is December 20th 2014. Exactly one year ago, I was diagnosed with primary cardiac tumour. When I was diagnosed, I was said to only live for a year. So far, I’ve been able to live my life the way I wanted to; so even if I die anytime soon, I’d be happy because I lived the life I wanted to.

 

It was inching real close to Christmas - the happiest time of the year. My girlfriend sat beside me as we stared into the mesmerising, dark sky. The moon and millions of stars accompanying the black sky. The night was cold as icy winds passed by now and then. Hundreds of lights lit up the busy streets of Seoul. The cars zoomed past on the bridge above the wide river of Han and people busily walked past, some couples stayed and sat on the wall that was blocking the pavement from the river like we were.

We admired the beautiful view of the rainbow water that fell from the Banpo bridge. We stayed in silence as I quietly hummed one of my band’s song ‘beautiful’ to Sujin. We were wrapped up nicely to protect ourselves from the bitter and frosty wind. my clothed hand took hers and my thumb rubbed against the back of her clothed hand as my other arm was draped over her shoulders.

“Sujin you know I love you, right?” I broke the silence. A small voice came out of my mouth as I looked at our intertwined hands.

“Mmm.”

I put the clothed hand that enveloped Sujin’s hand into my right pocket, pulling out a small, shiny, black box. Sujin gasped, immediately jumping to conclusions about what I could do.

“Even though you’ve already heard this many times, I’m going to repeat myself one more time.” I cleared my throat and with my free hand, I took Sujin’s hand.

“Words cannot describe how much I love you. I could tell you over and over again how much I love you, each time my love for you is growing. You are the most beautiful girl I’ve ever met in my life, and I’d just like to thank you for being there for me whenever I needed somebody, thank you for being the best girlfriend ever and always caring for me even though I’m like this,” I paused, taking a deep breath, staring into Sujin’s glistening eyes, “I just wanted you to know that even if things don’t work out for us, I will always love you no matter what, and if you decide to go to another man I will still love you and I will support your every decision.” I paused again, waiting for a reaction from Sujin.

“Oppa I’ll never leave you,” Sujin quietly sobbed.

“You won’t leave me spiritually, but you’ll leave me physically,” I painfully said. The thought of leaving Sujin tore my insides and pained my already hurting heart, but one day it’ll have to happen.

I hesitantly opened the shiny box and Sujin’s eyes rested on the glowing gemmed stone ring which looked to be an engagement ring.

“I don’t know my future, and I don’t know yours; but for now I just want you to have this.” I gently took off her glove and placed the ring in her right hand’s ring finger. “If you’re wondering, yes it is an engagement ring, but right now I’m not proposing to you.” I sadly admitted.

“I love you so much, and for sure if things turn out alright then I would love to marry you, Sujin-ah. It’s just... I’m still not 100% sure about what’s going to happen...” I trailed off. Sujin nodded, understanding what I meant.

 

Sujin’s head was rested against my broad chest and I her back gently as she quietly cried. She didn’t want to believe it but she had to. Sometimes it won’t always work out for some couples. I resumed humming the song for her as she poured out her feelings. Now and then I would whisper ‘I love you’ in her ear which caused her to cry more.

“I’m undergoing a surgery tomorrow,” I said. Sujin’s tears dried up thanks to the freezing winds. Sujin didn’t reply as she was in her own world, but I knew she was listening to me. I decided not to speak anymore and just enjoy the view with my loved one.

 

Minutes later, small droplets of white fell from the sky, slightly dampening our clothes. We both looked up with confusion, but soon we realised it was snowing. Our first snowfall together.

“Oppa, it’s snowing...” Sujin mumbled a little, voice cracking from the lack of talking and mainly crying.

“Yup... It’s our first snowfall together, Sujin-ah...” I looked at Sujin lovingly. We both stared into each other’s eyes for a few seconds before I leaned in and gently captured Sujin’s chapped lips. I her lips as I cupped her face to secure her head. We shared a loving, passionate and definitely warm kiss that heated us up from the freezing weather, as small snowflakes continued to fall lightly onto us and everything around us.  

 

.

 

“I’d just like to warn you that sometimes these procedures may not come out successful, are you sure you want to proceed with the surgery?” The doctor asked. I contemplated for a moment, the realisation dawned on me as I slowly took in the fact that I may not be able to come back alive.

I nodded. “Yes, I would like to go ahead with the surgery please.” I painfully spoke. My chest tightened as I spoke and as I glanced at my two precious females in my life.

“Understood, we will get you prepped up in a few moments sir,” the doctor bowed before leaving the room.

   

    No one dared speak a word, fear that their voice will fail on them and glossy tears will slip down their cheeks, as the realisation not only dawned on me but also seemed to sink into the two ladies.

    “So... You’re doing it huh...” Sujin broke the silence and the both of us turned to her. I nodded.

    “You know I could have reacted a little bit harsher... Especially knowing that there are chances you won’t get out alive...” Sujin whispered, chuckling without humour. I looked at her with pain in my eyes, telepathically telling her to forgive me as I didn’t trust my voice at all.

    Minutes past deadly slow as we all stared at something, lost in our own worlds. The sudden news was shocking and hard to digest very quickly. After what seemed to be a long time, my mother got up and hugged me. As soon as her touch reached my body and her head placed on my shoulder, glossy tears immediate welled up in her eyes and quickly slipped down her face. I stared at Sujin while hugging my mother, watching as she painfully looked away; tears also falling down her eyes at this point.

    It was hard. It was a long and hard moment to go through. I never liked seeing my mother cry, and now that I have a girlfriend, it’s even harder to see the both of these ladies that mattered to me a lot cry.

    “Sir, are you ready?” A nurse came in and interrupted the moment. My mother immediately pulled away from me, quickly wiping her tears from her face and sniffling. I looked longingly towards the two females before nodding.

    “Ladies, may I kindly ask you to leave? We have to get Woohyun-ssi ready for the surgery,” the nurse kindly spoke out, voice dipped with empathy and sadness as she watched the two ladies achingly left the room.

    I watched Sujin make her way out. She turned before the left the room and spoke those three words I loved saying to her.

 

    “I love you.”

 

    .

    .   

    .

    .

 

    “Oppa~!” Sujin shouted. “Happy birthday!” A cute, large grin was set on her face as she sat in front of me, holding a small cake. “I baked it with the help of umma! She’s a great baker oppa, why didn’t you tell me?” She giggled before laying the cake on a small table that separated us.

 

    February 8th, 2015. It has already been two months since I passed away.

    “Oppa, how are you today? I’m great because I baked a cake for the first time in a while. You never bake with me anymore, you always say that I’m always a bad baker and I always burn myself,” she laughed to herself as she took out a small, damp cloth and proceeded to wipe my tombstone.

“Umma couldn’t make it today, she opened her own dukbokki shop and she was making some adjustments, so she told me to come see you myself.” She pulled her knees towards her chest and rocked back and forward, trying her hardest to keep a smile on her face.

 

Sujin sighed. “I miss you oppa...” Even though her face looked pained, she still kept the strong smile I loved seeing every day since I was alive.

“Oppa, do you remember whenever you first met me?” Sujin giggled at the thought. “You use to be really greasy... Well, not that you weren’t still, even after we got together you were still my greasy king. Oh, speaking of kings, you use to say to me that every prince needs a princess, and you pretended to ballroom dance? Or when you said to me when you confessed, ‘without you, it’ll be like a spoon without chopsticks; a flower without it’s petals; me without you, I’m lost’?” Sujin laughed once again. “That was really funny.”

Sujin stared lovingly at my tombstone for a long time. The memories played in her head over and over again as tears slowly fell down her face, her smile was still present. She repeated the same words she did to me the last time I saw her beautiful face.

“I love you... My little snowflake.”