Kyuhyun slowly slid to his knees in front of the older male, freezing in his position for seconds to make sure that the other didn't feel uncomfortable at the short distance they shared before interlocking their visions as carefully as possible. It wasn't going to be a wise move if he were to have any big actions right at this particular moment, when the person who was sitting on the couch right before him was starting to get sensitive and paranoid at almost everything. 

 

 

"Donghae," He called out softly, noticing how the older male's pulled his vision away from his one and quickly outstretched his hands over to grab the other's ones so that he wouldn't dig his fingernails into his thighs too hardly till they bled (again). "Donghae, listen to me. Stop whatever you're thinking right there and listen to me--"

 

 

"I can't, Kyuhyun. I can't, I won't be able to do all these by myself, Kyuhyun, please. Don't,"

 

 

He intertwined their fingers as he held back the sigh that was stuck in his throat, and pushed the pads of his thumbs against Donghae's soft skin in a small attempt to soothe the other. He knew he was being more than just cruel, but sometimes truth ought to be faced.

 

 

"You can do it, Donghae. You can," Kyuhyun whispered, trying to keep his actions small and steady as he shifted on where he was kneeling so that he could get closer to Donghae, till their breaths could almost mingle at the tiny gap that separated their faces. The older male, for the first time, seemed to be disquieted at how intimate they were and would've moved away if not for how Kyuhyun held on tightly to his hands, pulling him back to his original position whenever he tried to escape. "Listen to me, alright? You've got to believe in yourself that solitary is something that you can live with, Donghae. Didn't I once told you that I can't be with you forever? That I'll be leaving one day, that I'll be leaving...  now?"

 

 

Kyuhyun made himself to ignore how Donghae's cold hands started to tremble slightly at the mention of how he was soon to be gone, leaving the latter all alone to his very own self and watched as he bit his bottom lip (a never-ending habit of his) so to prevent tears from even b in his eyes.

 

"What makes you think that I can do it, Kyuhyun?"

 

He wouldn't lie that he was taken aback at the sudden change of tone in Donghae all of a sudden, the softness and fragility that were laced within his words earlier all became almost undetectable as the other suddenly found the courage to look at him in the eyes once again.

 

"... You had been alone for all these while before you met me, Donghae. You were confident in yourself even when there was no one to support you, remember?" The day that Kyuhyun first met Donghae was still a fresh memory in his mind, for that the older male had been so hateful of interacting with people and that having friends or even lover were probably the last thing on his list. He was so used to solitary, for that he was afraid and it was still a mystery to Kyuhyun as to how he had manged to bring down all these walls Donghae had built just so to protect himself. "You did it once, so what makes you think that you can't do it again this time round? It's just like... the past, Donghae."

 

 

"You mean the past which I have been all along, afraid of returning to? You mean the past that you've forcefully made me walk out of it, and the past that you're forcefully making me to go back to it now that you're tired of everything?" Donghae's eyes were red, his bottom lip quivering as Kyuhyun noted how he coerced himself to speak clearly without breaking into tears or sobs. "You can't just expect me to live with solitary once again when you were the one who took me out of that and proved to me just how... safe it feels to be with someone, Kyuhyun. It's just like telling me to get use to seeing nothing but darkness once you've showed me just how sunlight ing looks like--"

 

 

Kyuhyun closed his eyes while he pulled his hands away from Donghae's shaky ones before pulling the older male down for a tight hug, crushing their bodies together as closely as he could once the other could no longer hold back his emotions. It was apparent the other was absolutely broken, Kyuhyun could tell that all too well, and it was all because of him.

 

 

"I'm sorry, Donghae--"

 

 

"I hate you,"

 

 

"-- I should've never mistaken any feelings I had for you to be love."

 

 

-  T B C / F i n a l e - 

 

 

 

 

A / N : Just a drabble I drafted up for Kyuhae a long time ago--- it's actually not an oneshot, but it'll be for now until my writer block's over and-- if any of my readers from other ficstions are here, I'm so so so so sorry for not replying to all of your comments yet ) : I've been swamped by work lately, and hope that you guys and forgiv me for it weeps.