(NOTE: this is kind of a prequel to my other fic Broken so after this, you guys should go read it~)

& alright, I edited this one quite a lot and I'm pretty proud of it if I do say so myself and frankly this made me ship namseok even more. I hope you guys enjoy!

A loud sigh resounds through the empty walls of the dorm as Hoseok snuggles deeper into Namjoon's arms, settling his head ever so gently in the crook if his elbow; his arms happen to be very comforting for Hoseok, especially during times like these.

The dorm is completely empty, aside from Hoseok and Namjoon, that is. Although the boys initially had dance practice scheduled for that morning, Namjoon and Hoseok both refused to get up from bed, claiming to be sick. Jin and Yoongi, being the eldest two, were a bit skeptical at first, but Hoseok's head was in fact a little warm (thanks to the extra clothing and the three blankets he enveloped himself into the previous night) and Namjoon's voice did sound like (he talked an extra 2 hours yesterday and even put a little more oomph into his raps during vocal practice); so the group had no choice but to leave them to their own devices. Bidding them farewell and setting medicine by their side tables, each member left to pursue their rigorous schedule. Once the door slammed, though, Hoseok immediately jumped out of his bed only to attack Namjoon in his. He was beyond ecstatic, he even went as far as to laugh obnoxiously out loud, but Namjoon had to shush him a little, pressing a light finger against his lips, because "baby, they can probably still hear you". In return, Hoseok quieted down, but the excitement was still evident in his eyes. He looked like a child on Christmas morning and no matter how hard he tried, Namjoon couldn't deny the butterflies he got as he stared at his lover's face. They shared a sweet kiss before deciding to cuddle and talk since they hardly had the chance to do anything even remotely intimate while the members were around. This was a time the two would cherish more than any other time they spent together.

They enjoy the seldom time they get whenever they're alone, which doesn't happen very often because all the boys are practically together 24/7. (It does get a little annoying at times, but hey, they're like a family so it's all good.) Even when Hoseok subtly tries to spend more time with Namjoon by volunteering to accompany him to the studio, Yoongi is quick to ruin their plans and opts to go along. Hoseok isn't the type to get mad easily, but in those moments, he truly believes he might actually hate Yoongi-- but Namjoon reminds him that, no, you're just frustrated. For the most part, the two have long accepted the only time they'd able to be alone together is when they play hooky like today, and, for now, that's fine by them. Though the only other thing Hoseok would complain about is the fact that it's really just extremely hard having a relationship in a group, especially when nobody else knows about it. Hoseok isn't too comfortable with keeping secrets from the others, but Namjoon's very adamant when it comes to revealing their secret affair.  Countless times, Namjoon had shot Hoseok down whenever he brought the topic up. And each time, Hoseok would feel just a bit more discouraged than the last time because it just gets a bit tiring when he hears the same answer over and over again.

But now that they have an entire day together, Hoseok doesn't want to take no for an answer.

"Namjoonieee~," Hoseok's voice gets incredibly squeaky and he's obviously trying his best to sound as cute as possible-- it works-- though the nickname instantly makes Namjoon's insides cringe in fear because he knows Hoseok only uses this when he wants something. And Namjoon has a feeling he knows what that something is.

"Yes?" Hoseok's fingers start trailing up and down Namjoon's chest, drawing invisible patterns on his clothed skin. and he'd be lying if he said it doesn't feel nice.

"I've been thinking--" Namjoon suddenly cuts him off with a sharp gasp.

"You know you're not supposed to do that anymore! The doctor said it'd damage your brain permanently, and you don't want to be stuck in a comatose state again, do you?" A harsh punch lands with a dull thud on Namjoon's arm and he howls out in pain and laughter. He side-eyes Hoseok and sees a bright smile on his face, accompanied with a boisterous laugh that sails through his ears and his heart swells at the sight.

Hoseok snorts and settles back against the rapper, resuming his previous actions. "You're so dumb, I don't know how I put up with you." Namjoon doesn't take it seriously though because he doesn't even have to look at Hoseok to know he's smiling that same genuine smile he always has around him; it's clear in his voice.

"No, but really, I've been thinking why don't we finally do it today?"

It was fun while it lasted, but they both knew the jokes wouldn't stay for long because Hoseok has more determination than anyone can even imagine. Instead, Namjoon internally sighs because yes, his earlier assumption about Hoseok's intention is correct.

"What are you talking about, baby, ?"

Hoseok playfully slaps his arm and turns his head so his chin is on Namjoon's chest and they're looking each other in the eyes. He pouts his lip and looks at Namjoon with round, glossy eyes.

"Yah, you wish. Stop joking with me, Kim Namjoon, you know exactly what I'm talking about." Hoseok points an accusatory finger at him and even gives him a stern look. He breathes and in that moment, his expression shifts to a softer one with cautious eyes. "Why don't we finally tell the others, you know, about us? I think it's about time.."

This time Namjoon sighs out loud and runs one of his hands through his hair. "Babe, we've been over this, you know if we do-" Hoseok cuts him off.

"We don't know anything. For all you know, they could be okay with this"

He's heard this before. Oh yes, Namjoon has heard this argument far too many times and while Hoseok has a point, something inside of him is telling him it's a bad idea.

"Yeah but we don't know that for sure-" Hoseok cuts Namjoon off as soon as the words start to pour out of his mouth with a loud noise of disapproval, strangely similar to the sound of a mother scolding her child.

"And we don't know that they'll hate us for sure either, do we?" Namjoon reluctantly shakes his head and huffs childishly. Hoseok grins and gives him a soft pat on his chest. "I'm just saying, Joonie, we won't know until we try. And that's all I wanna do, I wanna try to tell our friends that we're in a relationship. We've had this conversation so many times, babe. And each time, you just say no without even giving me a reason." This time Namjoon interrupts and gains the confidence to argue back. 

"No, no, no, don't say I haven't given you reasons, I always give you reasons, they're just everything you don't want to hear." With his eyebrows raised in a challenging manner, he stares back at Hoseok, waiting for a retaliation. Instead, the other squints his eyes, and scoffs quietly. 

There's silence for a minute or two before Hoseok speaks up, in a voice no louder than a whisper.  "I just want to be able to hold your hand or hug you or kiss you in the dorm without having to worry who's going to see us and how they're going to react. Why is that so wrong?"

And in this moment Namjoon decides he hates this day because more than anything, he hates making Hoseok feel anything but happy and loved which is exactly what he's doing. Now, as they gaze at each other in anguish and uncertainty, Namjoon feels his resolve breaking. The last thing he wants is to see tears in Hoseok's eyes-- Hoseok is like his princess and he never wants his princess to cry; he'd never be able to forgive himself if he did-- but at the same time, he doesn't want to give in to his request. He doesn't want risk all the possibilities that might come from announcing the formation of their relationship, it'd make their time as a couple anything but enjoyable.

"Baby," Namjoon heaves a tired sigh as he moves to sit up, gently moving Hoseok and shifting him so that they're sitting with legs crossed in front of each other. "If we tell them, I don't think you realize that a lot could go wrong."

Hoseok pulls back, a perplexed look forming on his face and his frown deepens. "What do you mean by a lot?"

Namjoon thinks momentarily, contemplating on how to word what he wants to say. "Well, I mean, think about it. A relationship within a group can make it awkward for the other members and the fact that we're both boys makes it even more complicated. I mean, for one, we don't even know their views on homouality; as far as we know, they could be homophobic. I imagine they're not, they're some of the most accepting people I've ever met, but we don't know for sure." Hoseok moves to chip in, but Namjoon clasps a firm hand on his mouth and continues. "Plus, it could be strenuous for them, too. What if we fight, and then they get involved? I don't want to have to bring them in on our couple problems, they don't need to have that on their shoulders. And Taehyung and Jimin have really big mouths, what if they tell manager hyung or even worse, what if manager hyung reports us to Bang PD-nim? There's so much to consider before we can do this, do to really want to risk it all?"

Excuses, excuses, excuses. Namjoon feels like he's only giving Hoseok excuses, but they're possibilities that they both need to consider beforehand. Namjoon has to admit, more than a few times, he's thought about how nice it'd be to finally not have to hide anymore in secret, but these risks and consequences invade his mind and immediately he realizes that's it's probably not the best idea. He only hopes that he can help Hoseok to at least consider his point view and looks at the other who has yet to speak a word. Namjoon hesitantly reaches forward, opting to interlock their hands, and awaits for a response.

Hoseok stays quiet and stares at their intertwined hands. He seems deep in thought by the way he begins to absentmindedly Namjoon's knuckle in slow circles with his thumb. Namjoon observes that Hoseok's pursing his lips again, a habit he does when he's nervous or doesn't know what to say, and he starts to get fidgety; it's so rare for Jung Hoseok to be in this kind of state, in the 4 years they've known each other, Namjoon has only seen him like this 6 other times, and that's saying something. Although he distinctly remembers a particular time he's seen Hoseok like this way and that was Yoongi yelled at him for being "so damn happy, careless, goofy, stupid, and ridiculous all the goddamn time". (they all decided to never bring that up again and Yoongi even apologized profusely, bought him cake, and tried hugging him numerous times in a desperate attempt to repair the broken best friendship; but of course Hoseok smiled cheekily and instantly forgave him.) Namjoon untangles his hand from Hoseok's and nudges his chin with his index finger softly caressing his bottom lip with his thumb. Namjoon keeps his fingers there until he gets the other's attention. 

Hoseok's eyes look up to meet Namjoon's and they stare at each other for a few minutes, unspoken words lingering in their gaze, until Namjoon's cheeks flush bright red and he looks down in embarrassment. It's no fair that Hoseok affects him this way. Each look Hoseok sends in his direction has him melting right on the spot, immediately becoming a subject to his own mind; that factor alone makes it even harder to be the dominant one in the relationship. He always tries to be tough and resilient, but the moment Hoseok looks at him with those eyes, everything falls apart. Namjoon is in the middle of mentally scolding himself when he hears Hoseok quietly clear his throat. His head shoots up and his eyes instantly lock with Hoseok's, curious as to what he has to say.

Hoseok purses his lips once more then hesitantly opens his mouth to speak. "We've been together for two months, babe. You know, I've thought about this every single day since the day you confessed, so that's why, my mind's not going to change. And I don't think it's ever going to change."

He takes a shaky breath before he goes on. All the while Namjoon is giving him his full, undivided attention. "Look, I love you, okay? I love you from your dorky personality to your dark brown eyes to your raps to your love for your music to your slim build to your dimples, and, oh god, to that y voice of yours. And you know, I love the time we spend together and the relationship we have. But I don't want to hide it. And I don't want you to think that we have to just to keep the peace in this group. If they love us like i think-- hope-- they do, then they'll accept our relationship and put aside whatever opinions or differences they may have. And," Hoseok takes a deep breath and squeezes his eyes shut. "If you love me like how I hope you do, you'll be willing to take this risk with me."

Namjoon remains rooted to the bed unable to say a word, heart beating unbelievably fast, eyes wide and mouth agape because Hoseok actually loves him. 

Holy , he loves him.

Although the two have been together for two whole months, neither of them have once said those three dreaded words. Not because they don't feel that way towards each other but really because Namjoon has always been too chicken- to take their relationship to the next step; frankly, he just didn't want to scare him off.

But now that he knows how Hoseok feels, there's only one thing left that he can do. If Hoseok can be so sure of his feelings after two months, then there's no reason Namjoon shouldn't be able to.

"Baby, open your eyes."

Hoseok's eyes open little by little and he's met with the sight of Namjoon and those dimples he loves so much on full-blast. His heart skips a beat as he stares and waits for Namjoon to say something.

"I love you. I do, I really do and I know I can be unreasonable at times and tough to deal with, and you're amazing for putting up with me, you really are." He intertwines their hands once again, and gives him a soft squeeze for comfort. "I'm truly lucky to have you, you have no idea. I shouldn't have to-- I should want to tell everyone, I should want to show everyone just how ing lucky I am to have a guy like you that loves me back, but-" Namjoon pauses and glances at Hoseok; his expression is understanding and curious at the same time. "I'm just scared, okay? I don't want to ruin everything..."

Hoseok gives him a short, humorless laugh, and begins rubbing at Namjoon's knees, in a futile attempt to reassure him in some way. "Babe, you swear like our relationship will be the commencement of the ing apocalypse, we're not gonna ruin everything, okay? We're gonna test it all out and see how it goes." Their eyes meet for a split second, a dubious expression meeting with a hopeful one. "Just trust me on this, it's gonna be alright." 

And Namjoon wants to believe this more than anything. He loves Hoseok more than he could ever possibly imagine and he's never wanted to be with someone so much in his life. It seems right, to join Hoseok in on this unknowing path that involves far more than shared laughs and sloppy kisses. And he's more than eager to comply to anything his lover wants so it only seems reasonable to go as far as to do this one little thing for him. He can see it now, just how happier they'd be without having to sneak into each other's beds while everyone's asleep, or without having to resist the urge to hold hands whenever they're together. It'd be bliss, and Namjoon knows already that as long as it makes Hoseok happy, there's a 95% he's gonna be happy too.

He shoots him a small grin and nods his head. "Okay. But we only have one shot, so as soon as they get home, we'll attack."

Hoseok's eyes go wide and he gasps with the brightest smile to ever exist on his face. He can't believe his ears, Namjoon is actually saying yes? He's about to clap his hands in joy but he shakes his head instead.

"But wait, we can't do it as soon as they get home, you know they're always super cranky after practice, especially Yoongi hyung and I don't wanna get scolded again."

Namjoon ponders for a bit then exclaims, "We'll attack them after they shower!"

"Then they'll be hungry."

"After they eat!"

"They get rude when they're too full."

"Oh my god then what, after they ?"

Hoseok narrows his eyes at Namjoon and flicks his forehead. "How about before movie time? They're always calm before we get ready for movies."

"Then before movies!" Namjoon chuckles to himself in disbelief and soon, Hoseok joins him. They both fall back roughly on the bed, laughing just because everything feels a little bit lighter, because, yes, it's finally happening, because now they know that they are both so, so, so in love with each other, and the springs in the mattress whine in protest. They're actually going to come clean about their relationship, it feels kind of freeing and exciting at the same time. It'd only been a dream of Hoseok's, a fleeting thought of Namjoon's, but now it's actually going to happen. Silence falls over the two in the bedroom except the bed sheets start to rustle as Hoseok makes his way to Namjoon and sighs contently in his ear.

"Thank you, Namjoon. honestly, this means more to me than you can imagine."

Namjoon smiles instantly and wraps his arms protectively around the other. He presses a light kiss to his temples, nose, cheeks, chin and basically everywhere on his face except for his lips until Hoseok starts giggling uncontrollably, telling him to stop.

Namjoon gazes in to Hoseok's eyes with such passion and such intimacy that Hoseok gets tingles all over his body. Namjoon brushes Hoseok's bangs away from his eyes and his lips before he speaks.

"You're important to me,Jung Hoseok. And I know how much this means to you. I'm sorry it took this long for me to agree, but I'm glad I changed my mind. Never forget that I'll do whatever it takes to keep you happy; I swear, baby, I'll never break your heart, okay?"

Hoseok smiles at him and nods his head in acknowledgement. Namjoon then leans forward, capturing the pair of soft, plump lips he loves so much. They both relish in the kiss, knowing that this may be the last one they share if things go wrong and that alone makes their insides twist in an uncomfortable manner. But they decide to focus on the good instead of the possible bad and cuddle with each other while they still can. 

Namjoon brings Hoseok's head to rest on his chest and in this moment, he realizes that he wants nothing more than to keep Hoseok with him in his arms for all the years to come. He sighs happily and can only hope that Hoseok never grows tired of him, because he knows that as long as Hoseok loves him, he'll never leave his side.

oh our little monster is bad at keeping promises...
but yeah wasnt that something else~? ((I'm still not too satisfied with how I ended it but whatever, it is what it is))
lol wow uhm no i really love namseok like holy how can u not ship these two.
and I'm kind of confused with them tho like does Namjoon top in this relationship or does Hoseok bc even tho Namjoon's super thin, I see him as the dominant one...and Hoseok just seems like a total bottom for our little monster...
but in my eyes, Hoseok tops in every other relationship...idek, gimme your input??
sorry this is long ><

until next time~