There’s nothing quite like the pain that surfaced her body the first time she woke up after the accident; broken ribs, a broken arm and stiches on her head. Even after all these injuries and after the doctors have decided to lessen the dosage of the pain killer that is running in her system she didn’t even fathom that those physical pain caused by the accident cannot even compare to the pain she felt upon knowing that she has lost all her family members. She wanted to die. She didn’t want to believe that this is the second life God had given her but the third, because she felt like she died for the second time the moment she found out her whole family is no longer on earth with her but somewhere in a place Taeyeon had always thought as ethereal.

Alone.

Shattered.

Broken.

Empty.

Abandoned.

Taeyeon’s list of negative feelings just keep on piling up at the same amount of her hospital debt and financial records to be paid but that didn’t matter that much to her yet.

Taeyeon was released from the hospital months later after the doctor’s findings has been released stating that she didn’t get any brain damage or blood clots and after all the therapies she endured to help her in bringing back the muscle reflexes on her right hand.

She left the hospital alone because she had no relatives in Korea, they’re either living in the states or somewhere in Asia, and her family was all she ever…had.

She stood outside her house for several hours just staring at the front door not wanting to step in because she didn’t want this, the accident, to be all too real, Taeyeon thinks that the moment she enters the house without her mom in the kitchen cooking a delightfully smelling meal, her dad sitting on the sofa with his feet resting on the table watching soccer or flipping from one channel to another and without her sister running downstairs shouting Taeyeon’s name and excitedly greeting her with her finished homework, it’ll be all too real. She will be forced to admit it, live with it and maybe die over it.

Taeyeon heaved a heavy sigh for the last time and took baby steps towards their….her house and upon opening the door her eyes roamed around before closing the door behind her and in that moment she knew this is going to be the longest night of her life. Every day will be painful and she knows that no amount of pain killers can help.

4 years later

The accident ruined her and caused her to lose 12 job positions in a span of 4 years in companies, restaurants, video rental shops and cafes but also gained from it as she met new friends who helped her get through the toughest years of her life.

Taeyeon is finally smiling and laughing with her friends while they sit together in a café, sipping their coffees and eating their cakes.

Even after so many years Taeyeon can’t still bear to spend a night in the house that her family used to live in, after all these years the pain is still as unbearable as the first time she had heard the news. Taeyeon decided to help herself by renting a small shared apartment.

At first, of course, she wasn’t confident about trusting herself with another living person since she’d been very irritable and non-approachable after the accident but after getting to know Tiffany Hwang she realized it was a good decision after all. They’ve become the closest of friends sharing everything, helping each other out and keeping each other strong.

The second friend she met was Sunny, one year after the accident she was working in a fine dining restaurant as a cashier while Sunny is one of the waitresses. Their apartments are just five blocks away from the restaurant and they have the same shift which ends when the clock hits 9pm. They walk home together hand in hand just talking about random things and then one night Tiffany lost her keys so she was waiting for Taeyeon outside their apartment and eventually got introduced to Sunny, the three of them have become best of friends since then.

Year after year she meets different people, some of them just stay as acquaintances and some gets close to her like how she is with Tiffany and Sunny, the next thing Taeyeon knew the five of them: herself, Tiffany, Sunny, Seohyun and Yuri are sitting together in a café drinking their favorite coffee and teas. She felt good, cozy, protected and once again loved.

“Hey Taeyeon don’t you have an appointment with your therapist tomorrow?” Yuri whom their group refers to as ‘black pearl’ asked stirring her cup of white coffee. Oh the irony.

“Yes. Actually I’m meeting my doctor, therapist and he’s bringing a psychologist with him this time.” Taeyeon spoke softly as always as she took a bite from her Choco Banana cheesecake.

All eyes were on Taeyeon now and all of them wear a questioning look on their faces, no one dared to ask though not until Tiffany broke the silence, well as always. The loud one.

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