~ OUR ANNIVERSARY ~

‘Knock… knock…’ The door was knocked but it wasn’t enough for Kyuhyun to take his eyes off the blank paper on the table in front of him.

Hyukjae pushed the door and stepped inside, trying not to make any noise. Gently placing the tray full of food on the coffee table, he turned to his husband lovingly.

“Kyunie, it’s lunch already, you should eat now”

“Yes, just a minute, baby” Kyuhyun replied and kept on his work. His hand sketched out some lines but soon he crumpled the paper up and threw it on the floor without a second thought.

“Honey, you should really stop working for a while. You can’t come up with anything with an empty stomach, right?” Hyukjae asked sweetly.

Shortly afterwards, the taller stood up and walked to the coffee table to finally eat something. They kissed for a moment then the taller sat down to have lunch while the smaller started to clean the room up. Hyukjae smiled looking at the corner which was filled with balls of paper. ‘More paper than yesterday’. He thought.

After picking the paper up to put it into the trash can, he laid the table in order even though he knew perfectly that it would soon become disordered like before. Doing the chores, sometimes he glanced at his husband and smiled softly upon realizing the other was also looking lovingly at him. Kyuhyun just smiled contentedly as a response. He wasn’t a man of many words after all.

His lunch gently passed like that. As soon as Hyukjae got out of the studio, the other once again focused on his work.

Kyuhyun and Hyukjae were a young couple living in a small apartment in the center of Seoul. The former was a well-known painter whose works were extraordinarily lively and emotional. It is said that with the number of paintings Kyuhyun had sold, this talented painter could probably buy several apartments like the one where he and his wife were living. But in fact, the amount of money he earned was mostly spent on treating Hyukjae – buying him the necessary medicine, taking him to the hospital for checkup and different kinds of therapy. That amount of money could be enormous for someone, but definitely not the one with cardiac insufficiency. This terrifying disease had been following Hyukjae for 24 years, since the day he was born.

Their love story was not very special. They were both orphans who had been abandoned by their parents since they were just little babies. Because Hyukjae was really thin and weak, Kyuhyun had always been with him, protecting and taking care of the other. Their love gradually evolved with time and resulted in a simple wedding with just some nuns and several friends of theirs. At first, when Kyuhyun proposed to Hyukjae, the latter didn’t dare to accept. He thought he and his feeble heart would be a burden to the taller. However; their love had given him enough strength and courage to finally commit their marriage forever. His husband had promised to work hard and earn lots of money for him to lead an easier life. He wasn’t allowed to go to work as Kyuhyun had always been worried about his health so he ended up being a housewife doing the chores while waiting for Kyuhyun to come back from work after a long exhausting day. Sometimes, when he didn’t have anything else to do, he would go to the orphanage to visit the nuns and the kids there.

Recently, Kyuhyun had received some contracts so he didn’t need to go out but stay at home drawing and painting instead. At first, Hyukjae was pleased to know that since he thought they would have more time spent together. The first several days went on as expected. However; these days, the other started to stick to his studio working really hard. His husband was overworking and Hyukjae felt worried and guilty at the same time as he knew that he was the source of that. His heart was getting weaker and he needed to travel to developed countries with modern facilities and excellent doctors to get better treatment. But there was nothing much he would do apart from being a nice housewife and taking care of his husband. That was his only way to support the other.

******************

Today was the first marriage anniversary. Hyukjae dressed nicely and hummed a song. He was cheerful as lately he had been felling healthier little by little - maybe the drug he took was truly efficient.

Instead of walking into the studio, Hyukjae just stood there, leaning against the door to have a look at his husband. Kyuhyun was sitting at the desk, his back facing him. He was so absorbed in his work that he didn’t realize the smaller had been standing there for a while. But Hyukjae didn’t mind – he loved watching the other’s broad back, it somehow made him feel secure.

Back-hugging his husband, Hyukjae hid his face in the crook of the other’s neck and smiled when he smelt the manly scent.

“Kyunie~” He sang and then pouted when the other just hummed in respond. “Kyu” He repeated.

“Is there anything important, Hyukkie?” Kyuhyun asked, not really minding the question. He had a lot of work to be done and he wouldn’t be able to do it if Hyukjae was around - he would certainly get distracted.

Pouting at Kyuhyun, who hadn’t even spared a look at him since he stepped inside the room, Hyukjae asked. “Do you know what day it is, honey?” Hope appeared in his voice but Kyuhyun failed to notice.

“Is it any day special?” And with that, Hyukjae’s face immediately fell. He pursed his lips in disappointment.

“You really don’t know?” He asked carefully.

Kyuhyun knitted his brows, a little annoyed. It was rare for the other to act like this. Hyukjae had always been an understanding partner who never disturbed him during his work. “Does it really matter, Hyukkie? You see I have a lot of deadlines to finish here.”

“Kyu, take a minute to think about this day” Hyukjae insisted, almost begging.

“Hyukjae” spoke Kyuhyun firmly, wanting the other to stop whatever he expected to start. He wasn’t in the mood of dealing with his wife’s childish wants right now. He needed to work. “Stop it”

“How can you be so indifferent, Kyu? You really don’t care what day it is, huh?” Kyuhyun just kept silent, trying to continue his work. “And do you even care about me and our marriage?” Hyukjae exploded out of frustration. He had had enough of his husband’s cold attitude already.

“How could you ask a question like that?” Kyuhyun stopped his act and looked up to the smaller. “Of course I do! Who do you think I have to work this hard for? Me? Myself?” He yelled loudly, making his wife step back in fear.

Seeing Hyukjae’s watery eyes, he sighed deeply then breathed in and out several times, trying his best to calm down. This was probably the first time he yelled at the other. “I’m sorry I yelled at you, Hyukkie. I didn’t mean to. Just… hmm, please leave me alone so that I can continue my work” Speaking weakly, he didn’t dare to look at his wife’s eyes so he just hung his head low, looking at the floor.

Hyukjae chuckled bitterly. “Okay, I’ll go now. Sorry for disturbing” Hyukjae half-heatedly apologized and walked out of the room in silence, tears flowing.

Kyuhyun looked up to the other’s slim back then looked down, feeling guilty. He knew that he had made him sad but he really hoped that his wife would understand. All the things he had done were for Hyukjae’s own good. He had received plentiful contracts for money but only few of those had been finished and he didn’t come up with any new ideas so he was not in a good mood. He really needed to concentrate on drawing. Sighing deeply one more time, he came back to his work. He could apologize to his wife later. They both needed time to control themselves, he thought. Besides, it wasn’t completely his fault after all.

As for Hyukjae, after going to their bedroom, he hid his face in the pillow and cried his heart out for a good few minutes. Then he turned to his left, hugging tightly Kyuhyun’s pillow next to his one and trying to find any evidence of Kyuhyun’s presence on the bed.

He wondered how long it was since the bed became this cold and lonely. Overworking, Kyuhyun would get up earlier than him and go to bed much later. But there were even times when the other was so exhausted that he slept in his studio. The room once full of happiness had lost the warmth of love now.

As if things had not already been terrible, they didn’t have a proper talk for days. Kyuhyun just asked several questions about his health and that was all. Whenever Hyukjae tried to have intimate moments with his husband, the latter said that he didn’t have time.

He knew it was partially true and Kyuhyun was having a hard time as the customers kept on calling to remind his husband of the contracts, which made him so stressed that just tiny little details could make him mad. But what Hyukjae didn’t understand was why Kyuhyun had to push him away. He wanted to get through this hardness with the other but it seemed like Kyuhyun didn’t want the same thing.

As their anniversary was coming, he thought that on this very special day, they could get together and their relationship could enhance in some way. However; all his hope had crashed the moment Kyuhyun acted that heartlessly.

Hyukjae truly had no idea why this was happening to them.

Sometimes he just asked himself if all of these happened because the other had got tired of him. He was weak and useless, he couldn’t do anything hard, his life depended entirely on Kyuhyun. It was possible that his husband hated him so much that he decided to leave him alone. But just thinking of that possibility managed to make his heart throb. He still loved Kyuhyun so much.

Miserable, he stood up and started cleaning the room, tears still falling endlessly.

.

.

.

.

‘Thump… thump…’

Hyukjae stopped all his moves, leaning his back against the wall and trying to catch his breath. His heart was beating so quickly and furiously that he himself felt scared. It was not that this hadn’t happened before but it had never been so intense. He passed his hand over his left chest to calm it down then took small steps to the drawer beside the bed looking for the medicine with shaky hands.

‘Bump’

The bottle of medicine hit the floor. The slim figure of his also fell down. ‘It hurts so much’ Hyukjae thought. He was afraid he couldn’t take it any longer.

“Kyuhyun” Hyukjae tried his best to call for the other but all it came out was just a low whisper. Fishing his hand in his pocket and taking the cell phone out, he dialed his husband’s number. One second, ten seconds, twenty more… the call was disconnected as the other line didn’t reply. Hyukjae burst into tears. His heart felt tight but it wasn’t because of the disease. It was the despair he was experiencing that made him suffer in pain. Was it true that Kyuhyun was trying to ignore him?

“Who do you think I have to work this hard for? Me? Myself?”

All of a sudden, Kyuhyun’s words echoed in his mind. Had Kyuhyun really got tired of him? Did the taller mean that if it hadn’t been for Hyukjae, he could have led an easier and happier life? Was that true?

‘Of course it is’ The voice in his mind replied, making Hyukjae hold the phone tightly in misery. He wanted to give up. The pain was getting unbearable as every second passed.

He was giving up.

“I’m sorry, Kyuhyun” He mumbled weakly, placing his right hand on his left chest. “I love you, now and forever…”

And then he became unconscious…

Kyuhyun ran a hand through his already messy hair. Right now he desperately needed an idea but several hours passed and nothing happened. He knew that he couldn’t push himself into art forcefully like this. Masterpieces could only be produced if the artists were clear and peaceful in his mind. However; the pile of contracts placed in front of him kept reminding him of the deadlines which were not so far from this day.

‘Ring… ring…’

Kyuhyun grimaced. He hated it whenever he was trying to produce some real art and something cropped up to distract him. The telephone continued to ring, making it impossible for him to keep himself calm.

“Hyukjae, just answer the phone for me!” He shouted. The deadlines were coming and he thought that the phone was for him. But it was strange. Normally, Hyukjae would answer it after the first rings. Why didn’t he today?

The phone stopped ringing and then it started all over again. That person on the other line sure knew how to get on his nerves. Kyuhyun walked down the stairs and was surprised to find no one in the living room as well as the kitchen.

‘Where is he?’ He thought and picked up the phone, annoyed. “Hello”

“Kyu, how is Hyukkie hyung? I called him several times but he didn’t answer. I also called your cell phone but neither did you. Is everything alright?” Ryeowook, a friend of theirs, quickly spoke, not able to hide his worry in his voice. The fact that Hyukjae didn’t answer the phone made him uneasy as the other had promised to always keep himself accessible in case anything bad happened.

Hearing that, Kyuhyun suddenly felt the tense atmosphere in the air. He took a glance at the clock on the wall. It was already half past twelve. His wife should be preparing the lunch now. Where could he be? Hyukjae was not the type of person to leave without informing. Was it possible that he went out for a walk after their previous fight?

“Hyukkie is not here. Maybe he is sleeping in our room. I’ll go and check” Kyuhyun answered. “Don’t worry” He added, trying to comfort the other as well as himself.

As soon as he put the phone down, he ran around the house looking for Hyukjae. “He is fine” He mumbled continuously but still felt extremely anxious.

He opened their bedroom’s door and what he saw made he think the whole world had stopped that instant. His heart ached and his tears threatened to fall.

Hyukjae was lying there lifelessly, tears were stained on his face, the white pills scattered on the floor next to him and his phone in his hand. Not wasting any more seconds, he rushed to the love of his life, embracing him, touching the pale face and calling for the other. ‘No, it can’t be…’

A single tear rolled down his cheeks. “H-Hyukkie… please open your eyes” But Hyukjae didn’t respond, which made Kyuhyun tremble in fear. Hardly had he placed his shaky hand on the other’s nose when he broke down loudly. He hugged the other with all he might and called for him even though it was of no use…

… because Hyukjae, his Hyukjae no longer breathed.

It had been three days since Kyuhyun locked himself in their bedroom and refused to meet everyone, even Ryeowook. He neither ate nor drank. He just lay on their bed, hugging Hyukjae’s pillow tightly and crying in silence. Now he knew how lonely his lover was when he was not there with him.

He had checked his phone and couldn’t stop his tears since then. Hyukjae had called him. The time of the call collided the time of his heart attack, according to the doctors. Had Kyuhyun noticed the call, Hyukjae would have been taken to the hospital in time and he wouldn’t have died. But no, Kyuhyun had set his phone in silent mode so that no one and nothing could disturb him, even his wife. What pained him even more was Hyukjae’s tear-stained face. He must have been crying alone and he was the cause. That day was their anniversary. How on Earth did he fail to remember?

Kyuhyun had always been sure that all the things he had done were for the other but now he knew he was totally wrong. He was wrong to focus only on the work and ignore Hyukjae. Only now, when the other was no longer by his side, did he understand that his wife didn’t need that money, he needed his love, his care and simply his presence. He had done nothing right. He had pushed himself away from his wife, he had made him suffer.

He regretted every single minute of staying in his studio. He tried but failed to remember the last time they cuddled in their bed. It seemed like ages since he took the other out and spent time together. He loved Hyukjae and he was sure he would always do. But money had pushed them apart.

The doctor told him that his wife died due to a heart attack. But he couldn’t help but feel that he was the one to blame for. He had killed Hyukjae indirectly. Had they not fought or at least had he tried to console the other after their fight, he might not have had a heart attack. He had broken the promise they made on their wedding day, to always take care of Hyukjae and make him happy. All he had done was just making the other’s life miserable. It was all his fault.

Kyuhyun felt his heart tight. He didn’t think he could spend the rest of his life without Hyukjae, without his gummy smile, without his smooth voice, without his love. How was he supposed to live from now on? It was totally impossible. Suddenly he wanted to die and that simple thought somehow managed to make the pain fade away.

Kyuhyun closed his eyes and smiled in satisfaction, his body felt light after taking all the soporifics he found in their room. He knew he was dying but the idea of meeting his love again was so tempting that all what he felt was mere happiness.

His vision became blurred until he spotted the familiar slim figure of Hyukjae standing in front of him. He smiled widely while running towards the other.

“Hyukkie” He shouted happily and his smile went even wider to see that Hyukjae was turning around to face him. He ran faster and spread his arms wide open to embrace the other. “I miss you, Hyukkie”

He could feel how his wife flinched in surprise then broke down in his embrace so he released the hug to wipe the tears away. “I miss you too, Kyu... I-I thought you have hated me” Hyukjae said, his voice cracked due to his crying, his hands caressing his cheeks lovingly.

Kyuhyun shaked his head lightly and leaned closer to feel the other’s touch. “Why have I chosen my work instead of my lovely wife like that? I love you, Hyukkie, more than anything” Upon hearing such sweet words, Hyukjae blushed softly. Kyuhyun smiled to see that cute expression that he missed so much. He sure had made a lot of mistakes before. But now, he was not going to miss the chance to fix it.

“I’m sorry I left you all alone before. I know all your sadness was because of me. But give me another chance, Hyukkie. I promise it will never happen ever again. I promise. Please don’t leave me” Kyuhyun begged, his tears threatened to fall.

Hyukjae just smiled and nodded. “Just… please don’t push me away any more, Kyu” He cupped his face and stared at the deep brown eyes of his husband.

“Of course, I was so foolish to have done that. I’m sorry, Hyukkie, dear, my love, my life, my everything…” A single tear rolled down Kyuhyun’s cheek when he recalled that dark time. “I will do anything just for us to be together. I will do anything so that you won’t have to cry in the future. Your tears are too precious” He said sincerely.

And there they were, standing in the nothingness and sealing their lips together in a long loving kiss. It had been a while since Kyuhyun last kissed the other and it felt so right. Their lips fitted perfectly, just like the old days. Now nothing would bother them. Kyuhyun didn’t care about any contracts, deadlines or money and Hyukjae didn’t have to be scared of any heart attacks. And above all, both of them needn’t be afraid of being torn apart.

They walked forwards hand in hand, to the future that they were looking forward, a second chance to their precious love. Their previous lives had been horrible for many mistakes which shouldn’t have been there, but it was fine because from now on, they would make sure to enjoy each and every moment of this new life together.

Their smiles would never fade away.

Their hands would never stop holding.

Since it was true love.

~ The End ~

A/N: I would like to think of this ending as a happy one because even though they were dead, they could finally be together without worrying about anything.

Wish you all the best and thank you for supporting me!