Hyukjae wasn’t good in relationships.

Or, according to his friends: he didn’t want to be good in relationships.

Don’t get it wrong, Hyukjae was a charismatic, very nice and cool guy, he has a lot of friends. From his workplace in the dance academy, to the cozy coffee shop he goes once in a while when he’s bored.

Always there to listen to your problems, to advise you and support you in your hardest times. He was a great friend.

But he was a lame boyfriend. Never caring about you, leaving in the middle of the night and “forgetting” dates.

His friends have asked him why he keeps acting  like that, being over 27 years old and haven’t had a relationship that lasted over two weeks, they are a little worried the flawless dancer hasn’t really fallen in love.

Some would think he just enjoys the single life over the compromise of a relationship with feelings and stuff; and it’s slightly true, he enjoys that. But Hyukjae doesn’t bother in answering to those who he knows are just curious. Between you people and him, there’s just two persons in the whole world that knows the reason Hyukjae is a lame boyfriend.

The reason? He doesn’t trust the "oh so famous" feeling called love.

What’s love? Hyukjae asks himself this question everytime he sees his friend Sungmin crying because his boyfriend said something rude, and then sees him hugging and smiling brightly to the same person he was crying over just some hours ago.

Hyukjae just shakes his head, hoping for Sungmin’s smile to last years.

He’s hoping, also, that the day that bright smile fades away, he can be there to prodive his shoulder to cry on.

He tells himself that’s he’s not being a negative (or heartless) person, but a very honest and realistic one. His friend Donghae always calls him a party-pooper.

The day he told them why he wasn’t interested in relatioships was on his 24th birthday, it was the first time in his life he got drunk. Donghae kept telling him that he should forget about it, that it’s not the same and he should give himself a chance. Sungmin, on the other sand, was more comprehensive and told him that he still hopes he meets someone to forget about the promise he made to himself.

He was only 12, that day his father came home, rushed to the second floor and minutes later came down with luggage behind him. His father ignored his first questions, as in “are you going on a business trip?” or “are mom and I going too?” and, after three large suitcases at the end of the stairs, “does mom know you’re going away?”.

His father left after saying he would come back soon.

That night, he heard his mom crying her heart out on the kitchen, she was a sobbing mess over the table, trembling hands covering really puffed and red eyes. The frame holding their wedding picture smashed on the floor.

He stood at the door for a while, until she was barely sniffing, probably falling asleep after so much crying. He walked over to her and help her get to her room. Hyukjae was only going to lay her on the bed and make sure she was sleeping. But it broke his heart seeing the tears still streaming down her face even when she was asleep.

Hyukjae layed beside her in bed and hugged her.

Was this love? Hyukjae wondered. He always thought their parents loved each other. Was that all fake? Was love fake? All the smiles, the laughs over family dinner and the moments spent together, all the "I love you"s they declared each other out loud, was that all lies? If love was supposed to turn into lies and broken hearts, he didn't want to get involve with such feeling. He didn't want to cry until he fell asleep, he didn't want to suffer, he didn't want to let someone make him feel like that.

So he promised himself that he wouldn't suffer because of love or cry over someone.

If he told everyone this story, everyone would be like Donghae, telling him to finally let go of such feeling.

But Hyukjae still remembers how many months his mom cried, how she lost her beautiful smile and would instead give him a forced smiled that wouldn't reach her eyes, how many times he laid in bed with her, hugging her and whispering sweet words, while she cried on his chest.

He never initiated any relationship, people would just come to him and flirt with him. He just agreed because of the . That’s why he didn’t cared about how they were doing, he kept “forgetting” dates with them and, specially, why he always left in the middle of the night after having .

And when he left and the person was awaken, they’ll just say goodbye as if it wasn’t a big deal. Hyukjae was assured that there was not a slight feeling of love in those relationships.

He doesn’t remember ever spending the whole night with someone.

Which brings us to the main topic in Hyukjae’s mind in this right moment.

He was now laying in bed, under the covers, and a dark haired boy beside him sleeping soundly. Hyukjae kept looking at the sleeping boy, pale soft skin scarred with memories of his teenage years, dark circles under his eyes, which he remembers are brown and beautiful, thin lips slightly open and Hyukjae’s mind goes to the first kiss he received from this person a few hours ago. Hyukjae’s hand itches to take away the locks of dark hair that is covering the boy’s forehead (and he does), just to feel the softness of it against his fingers.

He’s been like that for two hours now.

Hyukjae know’s the guy, it’s the bartender of the club where he goes dancing with his friends on weekends. He’s younger, he remembers. His name is Kyuhyun, he remembers too.

He has known Kyuhyun for a while now, probably years, he doesn’t remember well. They are friends, but they barely meet because of Kyuhyun’s late shift.

But this night he got stood up by his friends for a hot girl and a spoiled boyfriend. So he had nothing else to do but to walk to the bar and order a beer for himself. Kyuhyun seemed to have noticed how bored he was, because before he had even finish his first beer, he was given another one and it was on the house. He kept him company and chatted with him when there weren’t any other orders.

Hyukjae is getting a little tipsy, so Kyuhyun stops giving him alcohol. He tells Hyukjae his shift is about to finish and that they should get going. Hyukjae is surprised, he has never been until so late in the club. In their way out of the club, Kyuhyun tells Hyukjae they should go to a hotel since it’s so late. Kyuhyun’s apartment is only two blocks away and Hyukjae has his car, but he understands what Kyuhyun is talking about and accepts.

But Hyukjae didn’t expect to be in the position he is right now.

Because he doesn’t feel like leaving Kyuhyun alone now.

He wonders why, he always feels the need to leave the other person before the sun rises.

But now, just this time, he wants to see Kyuhyun’s face when he wakes up.

He wonders why, specially since it's Kyuhyun. He thinks he just doesn't want to hurt his friend, but then remembers Kyuhyun knows how he is and he shouldn't feel guilty in any case. Maybe Kyuhyun got to him with his cuteness. Pfft, yeah right. Totally impossible, the taller was nothing but cute.

He finds himself leaning a little closer to Kyuhyun's body, looking the warm of the youngest.

Hyukjae is confused over this sensation, because it means he was to keep close to Kyuhyun. And he doesn’t think that would be a good idea.

But then Kyuhyun moves in his sleep and stretches his arm above Hyukjae, holds his waist and brings Hyukjae closer to him. Hyukjae feels his cheeks getting a little warmer and blames the fact that this cheap hotel doesn’t have air conditioner.

He’s still looking at Kyuhyun’s face, appreciating every detail about it. Doesn’t he feel his stare?

Hyukjae decides that it’s better to go, before getting himself into something he doesn’t want. So he waits until Kyuhyun’s arm is loose and makes his way out of the bed.

He is already putting his pants when he feels Kyuhyun moving again in the bed.

“Are you leaving?” he asks.

“I have a class at 8 o’clock, Kyuhyun-ah.” He lies, he doesn’t want the boy to feel bad.

“You said you were free today, liar.”

Hyukjae stays silent, reaching for his shirt on the floor. He glances at Kyuhyun, who is now sitting in the bed.

“If I ask you to stay, would you?”

Hyukjae doesn’t expect that question, he has never been asked to stay.

“Stay.”

Kyuhyun voice is firm, honest, no doubt. He’s not even asking.

“Please, stay with me.”

Hyukjae has his hand in the door, just a step away from heading home and forgetting this feeling.

He slowly walks back and sits on the bed, facing Kyuhyun.  “Are you sure?” he asks.

“For about a year, yes.”

Hyukjae feels a twirl on his stomach and wants to think it’s something he ate earlier. But the fast beating of his heart makes him unsure.

Kyuhyun feels relief and happiness when Hyukjae takes off his shirt and pants and goes back under the covers.

Hyukjae still doesn’t want to think what he has felt tonight. He doesn’t know how long will it last, he doesn’t know if he wants it to last days, or months, or years. He doesn’t even know what he is feeling.

But he knows it’s not love. Yet.

He might end up crying like his mom did when he was barely 12, he might end up crying like Sungmin does when he fights with his boyfriend. But he might end up smiling as brightly as Sungmin when he’s talking about his boyfriend.

Kyuhyun might be the only exception to his promise.

______________________

So. Uhm. Yeah. I was in the midst of writting the Untitled fic and listening to this song when the idea popped up. So I had to write it down before I forgot it and ended up writting it completely, lol. It's not exactly like the song, more like influences but it's still the main inspiration.

So hope you liked it :) Not much romance, very simple, and actually not so Kyuhyuk as I wanted it to be. But I still like the outcome.