“Thank you for helping me young girls! Here, this is a present for you.”

“Thank you a lot, sir. But you don't have to, it's fine!” I said.

I was with my friend Mia. We just helped a man in his sixties to carry his books up to his flat. The elevator wasn't working so it would have been hard for this person alone to bring all these books by himself. So yes, we did take half of the books to make it easier.

He smiled at us and waved his hand energetically.

“Nowadays, gentleness needs a reward. It's so rare, don't you think?”

“Oh, we can tell it...” we mumbled before giving a half-smile.

“Here, this your reward. These for you, and these other ones for you...” he handed me a second kit of books.

I scrunched my face a little bit as my books were dusty and old-looking. Not this big in addition. Mia, on the other hand, had got some nice ones but too huge for her. She didn't really like reading. Ha~ it looked like this man did the wrong choice. But I was satisfied and honoured though. I smiled to him and waved goodbye before leaving with my friend. However, he called us again and shouted.

“Let the books here, my assistant was late so he couldn't help me but once he arrive I will tell him to bring you the books. You young people need knowledge before anything else.” he nodded his head and I just smiled, looking at him disappearing in his building.

Mia and I joined my building to head to my flat (well, my mother's). Once at home, we sat on my bed in my room and decided to watch a movie. When I was about to sit next to her, the doorbell rang so I had to go and see who it was. Before I understood what happened, a young man entered the lobby as soon as I had opened. I was stunned as he just passed by me with a charming smile.

“I'm the assistant of the lord.” he finally said. I was waiting for the books, now wondering how the man and this assistant only knew where I was living. I was about to ask when he started to walk around again.

He entered my room, smiled to Mia who blankly looked at him before looking back at the screen of my TV. I frowned at this, she was so talkative usually... Now she was acting like a zoombie... The assistant stepped out of my room and I told Mia I'll be back. I called for the guy.

“Hey! Where do you think you are-”

He turned around and we suddenly were only two centimetres away from each other. My heart squeezed into my chest as I felt his breath.

“I'm not who you think...” he breathed with a gentle look in his eyes though. It was driving me crazy but I managed to question him with my eyes. “I'll set the books in your living room. The table.”

He walked away from me, pretending he didn't understand my questionning look, and stepped indeed in the living room. I followed him furiously again, not satisfied with the fact he was walking in my home just like he was in a supermarket! But he was so fast. I did only one step and he was already at the other end of the living room. I hurried to hush him out of my home. He looked at me with a smile and suddenly looked at the library. He walked to it, rammed his hand behind some stuffs and found a statue. I was stunned : how did he see it? How did he know? I frowned but before I opened fully my mouth to speak, he was again right in front of me.

He took me with his left arm and brushed my cheek with his right hand. He approached his head, bending down – how tall was he? Seriously.

“Daniel can change people...” he breathed and I felt like I was about to fall down.

Somehow, I managed not to when he let go of my waist. I looked for him around me but I couldn't see him. I started to head to the lobby just to look for him and he was there, opening the door at this moment. However he looked back at me, smiled and mumbled something laughing.

No non no ! He couldn't go. Not after this sentence. There was something behind all of this. Behind this appearence, behind these sentences. I needed to know. Somehow, I felt so moved by all of this. However, the only thing that happened was me waking up in my room.

I've been haunted by his shadow and his smoothing voice for days and nights...

Stupid dream.

“He does change people...” he breathed.

I shivered, remembering this voice. Chills ran down my spine thinking about this whispering tone. I could even feel again the air he breathed on my neck... My heart squeezed by itself and I made a face. No, it didn't hurt... He changed me so much that I didn't know pain anymore.

Who? You wonder, uh?

I don't know... It was just a silly dream... Yeah, a dream where at I could feel air on my neck. Where at I felt my heart beating fast. Where at I felt fear. Actually, beside when I woke up from it, I had never felt anything ever after... From the moment I woke up, the dream was emotionally more realistic than the reality. I lived more in this dream than I ever did in my life, before or after.

I'm Leslie Callaghan, 20, a student and heartless.

I mean, really heartless... My heart beats only physically but I have no feelings anymore. Well... One, day I just woke up like this. Didn't feel like eating or drinking... Soon, I left my book, unable to focus on it anymore. The habits I had wouldn't come... Yeah, right after this freaking stupid dream...

Actually, the second night after this... I felt something yeah... Fear. I was afraid to make again this dream. It wasn't frightening though... but I was scared to death. And my heart hurt so much at that time. When I managed to sleep, I made another nightmare.

I was with a former classmate and I was happily walking to her to talk but everything went wrong.
“NO Leslie, don't talk to me. I know what they did to you... You became one of them... I HATE THEM! These monsters... they... To me... they did... they...” she tried to talk but I could read fear and confusion in her eyes. Fear. The same fear I felt.

“I just want to understand what this mess is. I'm a victim as well...”

“NO!”

With that, the girl disappeared and again, I woke up. My heart was beating so fast I thought I was going to die. I was breathless and clutching my heart. It was the first time nightmares were so hard on me. I ran one of my hand to my cheek and sensed it was a little wet... I was crying...

SOME TIMES LATER

I had just moved to South Korea, living not so far from the center of Seoul. I'm going to enter a place related to the music industry. I'm so happy... Well, I act as if I was happy and know I'm satisfied... But I can't feel happiness. It's no real emotions, I just know I should feel like this... Do you get what I mean?

Again, I was on internet that night, not wanting to go to bed and not wanting to notice my empty heart as well. I didn't want to take the risk to see these faces in my dreams. I peeked at the sketch next to me... and grimaced. Each time I was making this dream again, I was desperately trying to recall the guy/assistant's face. But each time, it was a fail.

“This is because you don't see his face...”

“Yeah, you must be right, Ahjussi...” I mumbled before frowning and jumped “WHEN DID YOU GET HERE?” I screamed at the devil this person was.

“Are you mad?” he asked.

“I'm not sure... but answer me...”

“NO! You called me Ahjussi, look at me! Do I look like an ahjussi?” I was going to answer but he cut me in “NO!”

“Brian Joo-ssi, why do you act like Dokko Jin?” I wondered out loud.

“So...” he approached me and suddenly bent down, making his nose almost touching mine. He fiercely looked in my eyes and smiled to me sweetly. “It's real...” I questioned him with my brows but he just went on, caressed my chin to take it gently, approached a little bit more and...

And grabbed his hair in despair after a minute. “There is really no change about your state! A fail... I failed at making a girl react when being this close with her... I FAILED!”

I rolled my eyes but managed to smile. Brian finally laughed along with me (well, I was chuckling automatically, not because I was amused) and he gently tapped my shoulder.

If I was there it was thanks to him. I don't know how he knew about my condition but he told me he could do something about it. A lie. He couldn't do anything but he had heard about some cases around him and thought there was a connection with my own case.

“You are going to train tomorrow at Star Empire. They are curious about your international case.”

“International?”

“I have projects for you... But don't mind this, mind about your heart. You do want to have it back, right?” I nodded, unsure though. “So you have to meet strange cases...”

What was I supposed to do? Just walk around aimlessly and pretend to be really a trainee? I sighed... Brian had no idea of what we were doing! But did I have one? It was better than nothing... But I felt like Brian was using me or something. I narrowed my eyes at him as he was giving me an innocent face.

I sighed in defeat.

Okay, fine Star Empire. You were curious about me...

But ther's something I didn't tell Brian about me... But somewhat, I feel like he knows it. Well, once, a boy started to develop feelings for me. I mean... He was already in love with me but I thought it was about past. But I discovered it wasn't the case. After sometimes, I let him understand I wasn't interested and... the next day, he wasn't himself anymore. He was just like me when I had this dream...

I had literally stolen his heart.

How am I sure about this? I dreamt about it again of course... Whoever this assistant and this Daniel were, they indeed really changed me.

Not for the good.

I actually would rather feel pain than nothing at all. But don't misunderstand: I'd never ever let myself going all emo for a long period of time. Even if I'm not sure anymore of the meaning of it, I would try to always smile. Because it was more like the person I was before.

« Pain. Without love. Pain. Can't get enough. Pain. Like it rough 'cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all. »

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________

AUTHOR'S NOTES :  Aaaah it's been a long time right? Sorry, I'm now in college and I had lots of things to fix. But I'm fed up a bit, I'm stressing too much for nothing, chinese's hard to learn, I've been absent... WELL I felt like writting a bit and to update the story to feel better in other words XD

So far, nothing big. No ZE:A, no BEAST, or anything. Just Brian Joo XD I needed an extravagant character - KwangHee couldn't be at the moment obviously - so Brian Joo just seemed okay!

That's it, just so you know a bit about Leslie's condition ^^ Soon, things will start to get interesting: just be patient ♥