It was a Saturday afternoon like any other, really. The June sun was sending its powerful beams down to earth, but the breeze kept the heat from staying on Seoul’s citizens.

A few beautiful streets with small shops and café’s crossed a small side arm of Han river vertically. Time seemed to stop between the rows of lower expensive houses. Here most of the sun actually got to caress the asphalt of the tree-seamed streets, of which all went only one way and so had little traffic. Merely a few people on bicycles would pass by the café, which had put tables and chairs outside on the pavement and street.

Almost all of the customers were in pairs or small groups. Almost. A young man in ripped jeans was sitting in front of a cup of milk tea. He couldn’t stand the taste of coffee anymore. His name was Mingyu.

He was extraordinarily handsome. His face could have come straight from a movie screen or the cover of a magazine. He was dressed casually but in a smart way that suited his image. The only accessory he was wearing was a silver necklace with a circular pendant.  Streaks of his dark fringe were falling into his eyes, that were focused on the scenery ahead of him.

Mingyu was watching a busker strumming a guitar on the other side of the street. He stood in front of a few white buildings with columns in the front. It looked like it as imported straight from Europe. A small park was on its opposite side. The people living inside of the houses must have felt like they lived in a miniature version of New York. A foreign cyclist shortly got in the way of Mingyu’s view, so he granted him a short moment of his attention, following him with his eyes, but then averted his gaze back to the busker.

He was singing a song stuck somewhere between happy, cozy and sad, like Mingyu felt as he was listening to him. Once there was someone standing there whose memory had been following him for years now. He took a look at his teacup and considered taking a sip. He would feel a little better.

A good cup of tea makes everything better, his mum always said. But for now he didn’t want to be. He had pushed this away for so long and it was really time to finish this. The tea he had ordered just in case he couldn’t take it, but now it was time to be brave.

Mingyu took a deep breath and took out a handful of Polaroid pictures from his pocket. It was right on top of it. The picture of him standing almost in the exact same spot the busker was standing in.

It was a Saturday afternoon like any other, really. The June sun was sending its powerful beams down to earth, but the breeze kept the heat from staying on Mingyu and his friend’s skin. Never before had he been to this part of Seoul and he felt like he had entered a whole new world. Seungcheol, his friend from his University lived around here but before they had only met up in the more crowded parts of the city to enjoy the nightlife.

Today though Seungcheol had something like a date, but he didn’t want his girl to feel like it was, since they had only met recently. Another female friend of Seungcheol would come as well. He thought, secretly his friend may be trying to set him up with her. But as he was a good friend, he accompanied him for a cup of coffee and a piece of cake.

They arrived at a nice café, which had tables placed outside and Mingyu sat down on his hyung’s right, he was his right hand man today anyway, with the view on some fancy white houses. Mingyu and Seungcheol only had to wait for a few minutes until his date arrived in the distance. She was with another girl, as said and a young man with a guitar strapped to his back, who Seungcheol’s friend seemed to be arguing with. He stopped in front of the white building closest to Mingyu and turned his guitar to the front and started playing after he placed the hat he was wearing on the pavement. Mingyu could now hear what the girl was yelling at him.

“You’re so embarrassing!” and then she stamped towards the café with Seungcheol’s date. They greeted each other and Mingyu’s friend said he was treating everyone, since he was the eldest.

Mingyu kept looking over to the young man with the guitar when he sat down again. He had started to sing and rap while simply accompanying himself. He seemed so immersed in what he was doing, Mingyu felt like he was under his spell, that kept him from turning his attention to anyone else. It took the force of Seungcheol’s elbow in his side to finally get his mind back to the happenings at the table for a moment.

“So?” his friend’s date asked.

Mingyu looked helplessly at his hyung.

“Oh he is pretty good at dancing. I’ve  been out clubbing with him once or twice,” his friend smiled.

Or every weekend. But Mingyu decided not to say that to put Seungcheol in a better light.

“Will you please excuse me for a moment?” he asked and when he got up he hissed at Mingyu, “You better get yourself together and converse.”

Mingyu looked at him shortly, a little intimidated by the sudden change of his friend’s character. Usually he couldn’t care less about what Mingyu did or didn’t.

Sending a quick look at the guy with the guitar, he sighed and looked at the two girls, both sipping on their coffee.

“About the guy you came here with. What was your argument about?” Mingyu asked.

“It’s just that he has to do music everywhere he goes and has no reason to be a busker and it’s horribly embarrassing to have a busking brother following you around,” Seungcheol’s friend said.

“So he’s your brother…”

“He’s far too protective over me and will not let me go out of the house alone. Wherever I am, he is.”

“So.”

Mingyu had decided to be a little nicer to her from then. Wherever I am, he is. Those words kept him going and eventually got him her phone number. A week later they went on a date at the same café and the girl’s brother was with her as well. He stopped at the white houses again. Mingyu didn’t think too much about it and just told him to come over. He’d treat him for a coffee. The guy with the guitar jogged over to his sister who was now even more annoyed than the time before. She sat down next to Mingyu, for whom she put on a smile, while her brother was sitting across from Mingyu.

He was attractive without a doubt. The shape of his eyes had something fierce about them, but when he smiled, his face light up, making Mingyu feel warm inside while goosebumps were forming on his arms. With a voice, just slightly on the deep and raspy side, he introduced himself as Wonwoo.

A small smile crept up his face, as he examined the picture. After that meeting, Mingyu met up more often with Wonwoo’s sister, just so he had an excuse for wanting to spend time with him. He had taken the picture on the only day Wonwoo hadn’t felt much like talking. Mingyu hadn’t asked any further questions after that, since at that point they had gotten to know each other quite well. And artists had their moods, Mingyu figured. Wonwoo wanted to become a musician. Not in a band, no flashy costumes and choreographies. Just him doing his thing. His sister thought he was mad for believing he could ever make a living off of that. No one cared for a male singer/songwriter in South Korea. Mingyu thought it was a wonderful dream to be working towards to, since the work itself already sounded beautiful.

He looked up and there he sat. Wonwoo. His head resting on one hand, sipping on an iced coffee through a straw as he gazed at Mingyu. A tiny smile was hiding in the corner of his mouth.

Mingyu blinked and Wonwoo was gone again. But as he took away the first picture from the small stack, there he was. Sitting there just like that. At some point they had started meeting up without Wonwoo’s sister .

“I didn’t want to look like an idiot saying this, but whenever you played music I felt like there was nothing I could do but watch you. You are wonderful,” Mingyu had said when they reached that theme once more in their conversation.

“I thought you were a celebrity when I first met you. So whose first impression was the weirdest here?” Wonwoo asked.

Mingyu tried hard to keep his smile on his face. He knew, what Wonwoo thought about celebrities and it was not something he wanted to be associated with when it came from his mouth.

“I still think you’re wonderful,” Mingyu said.

“Oh. Thank you,” Wonwoo shyly looked down at the ground, “You’re not at all like those celebrities though. You are also a wonderful person, I think.”

Wonwoo’s eyes met with Mingyu’s again and they both smiled.

Mingyu put down the picture again and stuffed it, alongside the others, back into the pocket of his ripped jeans. He gulped down the rest of the tea in his cup and got up to leave. Slowly he strolled along the street. He felt empty again, but did his best to hold himself together. Sometimes, love hurts.

Mingyu walked on until he reached the bridge across the river. He crossed it on the other side from the usual one and stopped about three quarters in. He pulled a picture out again and held it up. He saw himself and Wonwoo in it, the elder placing a kiss on his cheek. They had taken it over on the other side of it.

When Mingyu put it down again, a boy and girl were standing in the spot, taking a picture just like theirs.

“Yah! Why would you kiss me in public in the middle of the day?” Mingyu asked, as soon as he had taken the picture.

“I told you not to yah at me! You may look older, but I’m your hyung, still,” Wonwoo pouted.

“Why would you kiss me in public, hyung?” Mingyu repeated his question.

“Because I love you and I do not care what other people think about that.”

And with that, Wonwoo had placed another kiss on Mingyu’s cheek, before taking the picture out of the camera and running away with it, “So, I will show the whole world how much I love you!”

“Yah!”

Mingyu ran a hand through his hair. If only he had. Mingyu had often wondered what it would have been like. But he figured it would have only been worse. This way only he had to suffer and there was no one disappointed in either of them. Though this was not entirely correct. Mingyu was extremely disappointed by Wonwoo.

He turned around and saw another bridge not too far away and a sad kind of smile appeared on his lips. Back then they had never thought about disappointment.

“So, guess why I treated you for dinner in a fancy restaurant I don’t normally have the money for,” Wonwoo said, as they walked from one warm pool of light to the other.

“Did you win the lottery?” Mingyu asked.

“Well, I hit the jackpot.”

“I never knew you were into that,” Mingyu stopped.

“No, not that kind of jackpot,” Wonwoo’s smile spread from ear to the other, “You know that big record company I sent my demo to?”

“Yes…”

“They took me under contract.”

“No ,” Mingyu’s eyes grew twice in size.

“Yes .”

Mingyu embraced Wonwoo and turned and jumped with him like excited high school girls, while babbling all the while “I mean, I always knew you were wonderful and I expected you to make it, but this did surprise me.”

“I didn’t make it yet,” Wonwoo said, as they finally stopped jumping.

“You will.”

“How are you so sure of that?”

“I can’t be the only person that thinks you are the most wonderful and beautiful and talented human being on this planet.” As soon as the words had left Mingyu’s mouth, he regretted speaking them out.

“Well, it might be because I have such a perfect person as an inspiration, that they liked my songs,” Wonwoo shrugged.

“Oh.”

Wonwoo seemed confused as to why his statement was such a downer to Mingyu. “You really haven’t realized it yet?”

“What?” Mingyu asked, but couldn’t wonder any more, since his lips locked with those of Wonwoo. It was sweet and made Mingyu’s whole body tickle. It was neither too chaste, nor too deep. Basically the perfect first kiss with Wonwoo, Mingyu could have wished for.

As they parted slowly, their faces just millimeters away from each other Wonwoo smiled. “You are my inspiration, silly.”

Mingyu looked around himself. Families were making their way towards the park, small groups of friends were headed somewhere and couples of all ages were being all cute around each other. He was the only one on his own. Mingyu clenched his teeth when he noticed his view getting blurry.

"You won't ever be alone,” he assured sweetly, as he placed small butterfly kisses along Mingyu’s jawline. His chest was pressed against Mingyu’s own. His skin felt hot against his own, but in the cold breeze of the autumn wind, rushing in through the half opened window, it gave him comfort. Mingyu’s arm was wrapped around Wonwoo, the tips of his fingers mindlessly drawing circles on his back and his nose nuzzling into the other’s hair. Breathing his scent in. Breathing it out. And keeping as much of it as possible inside his lungs.

He couldn’t remember anymore. He couldn’t recall anymore what he smelled like. He pulled out another picture.  It showed Wonwoo’s sleeping figure that night. Mingyu remembered how much he used to worry back then. He knew that one day, there would be no more Wonwoo, no hour-long calls, no endless messaging. And all because he got the chance to make his dream come true. Back when this picture was taken, Wonwoo basically lived with Mingyu. He had his own apartment, but after the studio sessions he came directly to see Mingyu and didn’t leave until his next schedule with the record company.

“Wait for me to come home,” the voice called through Mingyu’s phone.

“It’s my house still, you know?” Mingyu smiled.

“But you’re home.”

“I am home, yes. But I have the late shift today, so I really have to leave for work, no matter if you’re free or not,” Mingyu replied.

Wonwoo sighed on the other side of the line, “No, you don’t get it.”

“I thought I was the smart one in our relationship.”

“You’ve never been the smart one in our relationship. Remember that time you asked me…”

“Okay, you win. But since you, Mister, are the smart one, please explain to me what you have been wanting to say,” Mingyu acclaimed in an overly dramatic tone.

“You are home. My home,” Wonwoo’s voice explained slowly.

“No I’m not at your place right now, I told you already,” Mingyu smiled widely. He knew what Wonwoo wanted to say, but he just loved teasing him.

“God, Mingyu. You are my home. I feel like you are my home. I don’t feel more comfortable anywhere else, but in your presence!”

“And why couldn’t you put it so directly from the beginning? You know, considering the comprehensible impartment of information, I’m the smart one cause…”

“I love you,” Wonwoo’s voice said.

“I’m the smart one, because you love me? Now that does not make sense in the slightest bit.”

“Idiot.”

“So, now I’m stupid again?” Mingyu chuckled.

“I love you,” Wonwoo laughed.

“I love you too. I’ll be home at twelve.”

“I’ll be waiting.”

Mingyu on the other hand was tired of waiting. He wouldn't come back. Mingyu probably wouldn't leave a life like that either. But giving it a second thought, he would have preferred his simple one with Wonwoo on his side. He though must have been so busy, he couldn't waste a single thought on Mingyu. But it was alright like this. Mingyu couldn’t be mad at him. No matter how hard he tried.

“It’s 4 a.m. and you’re only stumbling in here now, drunk!” Mingyu yelled at Wonwoo, who was slowly sliding down the wall, his legs starting to give in. “Don’t you have an apology at least?”

“I’m sorry, but it’s sooooo stressful,” Wonwoo slurred.

“Stressful?! I get up at 6, so I can spend some minutes with you before Uni, then I immediately go to work until 10, get home, study and go to bed again at two or later, depending when you come here and how much pleasuring or whatever you need. That’s stressful,” Mingyu felt like he was about to explode with anger.

“If you’re not in the mood just tell me,” Wonwoo grunted.

“It’s not about . It’s that even though you’re barely ever there for me since they gave you the date for the album release in 5 ing months I still really ing love you, no matter how much you ignore me, okay?”

“That’s sweet.”

“But you can’t come here at 4 a.m. drunk after I haven’t gotten a sign of life from you for 3 days, you get it?” It felt as if someone had pulled a string around his heart and each time Mingyu had looked on his phone, it got pulled a little tighter.

“I’m sorry,” Wonwoo pouted and Mingyu thought to have seen his eyes getting hazier than they have been before.

“No, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t be yelling at you.”

He then hugged him and until the next morning kept apologizing to Wonwoo about what he had done.

But no matter how sorry Wonwoo had been, the periods in which he stayed at the company kept getting longer and after the debut, Mingyu was lucky to get a text every few weeks. He kept asking, whether maybe, when Wonwoo had a day off, or even just a few hours, they could meet up. But those occasions were rare and usually Wonwoo decided to practice more. Getting better at singing, getting better at playing the guitar, writing better songs. His hard work paid off. The second album he released was a total hit, but success means barely any privacy. The texts got even less. Mingyu received one “I miss you.” every month. But he kept track of every step his boyfriend took and cheered him on from his computer screen and even in the crowd at his first concert when the promotions for the third album had wrapped up.

For a few weeks, Mingyu got no information whatsoever on Wonwoo until he found a letter in his post box.

“…so, please let’s meet up at the café where we met on 5^th July. Love, Wonwoo”

Mingyu’s heart made somersaults, while he was reading. And two days later, on the fifth, he was at the café half an hour early, but Wonwoo was already waiting for him.

He smiled widely and got up to hug Mingyu tightly, but as Mingyu did not ever want to let go, Wonwoo whispered in his ear, “Sorry for the lack of privacy. Paparazzi on the other side of the street and fans sitting behind us.”

Wonwoo carefully pushed Mingyu away and motioned him to sit down.

“I already ordered a café latte for you,” he said.

Wonwoo looked different. He dressed differently. The casually thrown together clothes were replaced by expensive brands, tone in tone. He wore all kinds of accessories. Wonwoo’s hair was now blonde and messy in an unnatural way. Mingyu had seen the thin film of makeup on his skin when they had hugged and even from a little further away you could clearly see he was wearing eyeliner.

“You look…good,” Mingyu said. He did look good, without a doubt. But he looked weird at the same time. This wasn’t his Wonwoo.

“Thanks. You do too.”

Actually Mingyu did not look good at all. He had lost weight since Wonwoo had left. He couldn’t sleep anymore, so the circles under his eyes got darker. Also he couldn’t bother to cook anymore or eat at nice places, since he would have been alone anyway, so he had only been eating ramen or takeaway food, if he ate at all. The unhealthy diet had left its irritations on his skin.

But he smiled nonetheless “Thank you.”

“How’s life?” Wonwoo asked.

Mingyu gulped, “Alright.”

It wasn’t alright. Not in the slightest. Neither was it alright of Wonwoo to ask this. Was that the only thing he could think of after they hadn’t seen each other in over one and a half years?

“I miss you,” Wonwoo said, as if it was the only thing he was capable of saying to Mingyu.

“Then come back to me.”

Wonwoo laughed. How could he laugh?

“I will,” he said, as he pulled something out of his pocket and pushed it across the table to Mingyu, “And I will stay with you at all times like this.”

Wonwoo lifted his hand from the object, which turned out to be a necklace, “Open it.”

Mingyu did as he was told and found a tiny picture of Wonwoo inside. His Wonwoo, like he was when they had met. He had to bite down on his lip to prevent his eyes from watering up.

“I’m sorry, but I have to leave,” Wonwoo said and got up.

He stepped closer to Mingyu to hug him tightly. That’s when Mingyu couldn’t hold back the tears anymore.

“Wait for me to come home,” Wonwoo whispered once more in their embrace, before he let go and left.

This was the last Mingyu had ever gotten from Wonwoo in 4 years. It had gotten easier, once he started to care less about what Wonwoo was doing, but he never quite managed to put his heart back together.

He pulled on the string around his neck until the small pendant met his palm. He opened it once more, seeing the Wonwoo from so many years ago smiling at him. With a sharp movement, Mingyu tore off the necklace from around his neck and threw it as far as he could into the river, followed by the shreds of the Polaroid pictures. He looked at them floating on the surface for a little while until they were drowned by some waves. Mingyu turned around and, with his hands tucked into his now empty pockets, he went home.

AN: I'm back with some new writing. I'm sorry I haven't done anything on What's Left Of Us for ages, but I just lost motivation. Iw ill pick it up again though. About a week ago I suddenly got a strike of inspiration and had to write. And well, this is the product. There are a few references to some things and it's all inspired by a song. If you know it, you're awesome! If not, you are still awesome, because you read this! Yay! Thank you very much.