i probably shouldn’t say this, but at time i get so scared
when i think about the previous, relationship we share
it was awesome but we lost it, it’s not possible for me not to care


it is raining outside. yixing looks at his cellphone, and yifan’s cellphone number appears in the screen. he is thinking to call his, uhm, ex-boyfriend. he sighs, then he cancels his will to call him. absolutely, he just wants to scold that snarky boy and tell him that he can ‘breathe’ for the first time. after 5 years being together, yixing finally could break up with him. yes it was an awesome relationship, not to mention the bad things during the relationship.

well, yifan is a casanova, and yixing knows it very well. when yifan confessed to him, he just knew that someday yifan would leave him for another girl. correction; boy. yifan had hurt him, had put him in vain, had cheated so many times, and such. it happened during 5 years being together. yixing, although he loves that boy so much and got jealous whenever yifan flirted to another, he never complained. he was just being quiet and let yifan did whatever he wanted to.

and he still can pick yifan’s call up although he hates that guy now.

“hello,” yixing says with no expression.

“xing,” yifan’s voice is heard. “c-can you get downstairs?”

yixing looks outside his window. down there, yifan is standing in the middle of the rain. yixing sighs.

“you moron. why are you standing there?” yixing asks, is irritated by the view.

a bit long pause.

“…for you, xing,” yifan says weakly. “i come here to see you. please?”

“what now? you know we have broken up,” yixing warns him.

the guy outside sighs. “xing, please. just for once, okay?”

yixing finally gives up. without saying any words, he presses the red button and decides to approach yifan. he takes an umbrella and runs towards yifan.

“geez, are you trying to get cold or something?” yixing scolds as he holds the umbrella over yifan’s head. "if you keep standing in the middle of this rain and you get sick, how do i tell your mom?"

yifan doesn’t answer. he locks his gaze at yixing, and the younger guy can only shut his mouth. it was a pregnant silent there, because none dares to speak first.

until yifan grips yixing’s hand.

“tell me why you went away from me,” he hisses.

yixing holds his breath. he tries to release his hand but yifan grips it tighter. yixing struggles, but again, the tall guy grips it even tighter. yixing rolls his eyes.

“fan, can you please—”

“tell me.”

“isn’t it obvious?!” yixing yells in a broken voice, frustrated. his tears slowly fall down.

yifan just stares at yixing with a sharp gaze, and yixing can’t stop crying with no sound, looking at yifan.

now we’re standing in the rain,
and nothing’s ever gonna change until you hear, my dear.

 

“i've got seven things i hate about you,” yixing says.

seven things i hate about you, oh you:

your vain.
“you never saw me, like, really never saw me. you just called me whenever you need a slave. whether for being your babysitter or even slave. you never tried to look after me. you never shared your happiness with me. you just came to me when you’re sad or angry. what was i for you, fan? was i a robot? was i a doll? didn’t you see me as your boyfriend, just for once?”

your games.
“i don’t know whether you’re contaminated with your ing plushies or something, but look here; you played around with me. you said if i went out with lu han or jongin you would kill them but hey, you laid by chanyeol or zitao’s side. when i said i was jealous, you said they were just friends and i didn’t deserve to know what was happening between you all. yifan, i wouldn’t mind that you had a fun time with them if only you let me hang out with lu han and jongin. at least, we won’t kiss each other like you did with them.”

your insecure.
“you never put your trust in me. go ask jongdae, i never cheated on you. but you always accused me of cheating. look, when did you see me with another guy kissing or hugging or even making out? i hung around with my friends and you called it ‘cheating’? so what’s with you who kissed another guy? even i saw you kissed baekhyun, god damn it!”

you love me, you like her him.
“you once texted me which supposed to be sent to zitao. you said ‘gege loves you’. what did matter was you said ‘gege’, and heck i never called you 'gege'. then when i sent back to you and asked you about that, you said you wanted me to call you 'gege'. but indeed i know, you meant the text for zitao. you like chanyeol too. although you said you love me, but i know your heart is divided into two. one is for me and the other one is for them. and you know what fan, i never complained though it hurt me a lot.”

you make me laugh, you make me cry.
“but i’m a human after all. i have heart. my patience can reach its when my heart can’t measure those ing patience any longer. i once promised to myself not to cry but here, i’m crying. i can’t hold it anymore. not only this time. i cried when you did all those things to me, like, i mention again, cheating, putting me in vain, and such. i cried because you never saw me as your lover. but then you always made fun of me and i laughed because of your silly jokes, then you let me down again. how pathetic.”

your friends; they’re jerk. when you act like them, just know it hurts.
“i remember when your friends joonmyun and minseok called me a ‘’ just because i’m close to the other boys. i repeat, they’re my friends. but you just listened to them and didn’t defend for me! you joined them shouting that i’m a . i ask you; who is the here? like what i said before, you never put your trust in me; you never listened to me and preferred to act like them. i know friends are your priority, but you couldn’t differentiate who your friends are and who your boyfriend is. i wanna be with the one i know, and you were completely stranger to me back then.”

and the seventh thing I hate the most that you do:
“but after all,” yixing says weakly. “i don’t know why i can’t hate you. i don’t even know why… i can’t stop loving you.”

yifan finally widens his eyes. a happiness is drawn in his face.

“the thing i hate the most that you do… you make me love you.”

 

yifan can feel hot tears are rolling down his cheeks. he can’t understand why yixing can be so tough although he has hurt him. he feels that he’s a failure, so he just can look down. he can’t look at yixing like before; he always looked at him sharply.

it’s awkward and silence, as i wait for you to say
what i need to hear now, your sincere apology
when you mean it, i’ll believe it; if you text it, i’ll delete it
let’s be clear.
oh i’m not coming back, you’re taking seven steps here.

wait, i can come back to yifan, yixing murmurs in his mind. he then bravely looks at yifan with teary eyes. he is waiting for yifan to speak, maybe for asking apologize or for defending himself like he always did. but yixing sees no moves. he sighs.

and compared to all the great things, that would take too long to write.

yixing then smiles. he lifts yifan’s chin so he can see the latter’s face. yifan cries, and it drives yixing happy. it means yifan regrets with all the things that he has done to yixing.

“i probably should mention the seven that i like,” yixing says in smile.

 

yifan frowns; thinking how come yixing is still able to like the parts of him?

"the seven that i like about you," yixing widens his smile.

your hair.
“i like your hair. i love its color. i love its style. it makes you look manlier to me. i also like your long straight black hair, but it’s the best. you know, everytime we made out, the part that i always first was your hair. i don’t even know why, but i always love your hair.”

your eyes.
“for me, the best part of you is your eyes. and the person whom you can look right at the eyes is just me, zhang yixing. i know it. your eyes, when you looked at me with your eyes, i know you loved me more than you loved chanyeol and zitao. i could see another imaginative world through them. i can imagine you love me only in that world without any ers. i just… love your eyes.”

your old levi’s.
“i never asked you to buy new jeans because i had been in love with your levi’s. i bought it for you on your birthday. well, it’s been 5 years, right? you said they are comfortable and didn’t mind when its color is tarnished and some shreds colored them. you confessed to me with them, you firstly asked me to have a date with them, and… i broke up with you when you were wearing them. so… i think they’re the second ‘sisterhood of travelling pants’ and we can just change it into ‘loverhood of memories pants’.”

when we kiss, i’m hypnotized.
“you know fan… whenever i was mad at you, whenever i was sad, whenever i was having trouble, you always kissed me. you could make me forget those things. i like the way you kiss me; passionate, gentle, and warm. and you can treat my lips greatly. wherever is it, on lips, cheeks, or forehead, you could hypnotize me. like a magician or maybe heroine to me.”

you make me laugh, you make me cry.
“your stupid act, your silly joke, your cheesiness, they all could make my day. you’re just my giant stupid baby that i love so much. at least, when i heard you joke around, it showed me that you had no burdens on your shoulder. and i won’t mind if you joke around like before, or fooled around maybe. as long as i can see you smile, it’s enough. though you smile because you've successfully made me cry, i'm happy though. i guess that’s both i’ll have to buy.”

your hands in mine, when we’re intertwined, everything’s alright.
“you loved to touch my hands and said ‘i love you’ so many times. i didn’t know who else would hear the same quote but i enjoyed the time when you said it. why? because i knew, you only loved me. chanyeol and zitao were nothing for you. i knew you well, fan. i could read your feelings through your eyes. but i can’t stand it; you’ve hurt me a lot and my patience has reached its . but… with your hands in mine now, i think everything’s alright. i wanna be with the one i know, and now... i got my wu yifan that i know back.”

and the seventh thing i like the most that you do:
“i said i hate you for making me love you. but indeed, i’m happy.”

yifan stares at yixing with a sad gaze.

“the thing i like the most that you do,” yixing holds his breath and release it gradually, “you make me love you.”

they stare at each other for a few seconds before yifan slowly pulled yixing into his embrace. his sudden act makes the umbrella falls down so they get caught in the rain. he cries a lot on yixing’s board shoulder as the rain grows harder. he regrets it; he shouldn’t have done that to yixing, but it’s thrown off. yixing, in the other hand, finally hugs him back. it’s wrong remembering that they have broken up, but he knows well his own heart; he still loves yifan. no matter what he has done before.

“xing,” yifan calls.

“hmm?” yixing murmurs.

the tall guy releases the hug. he grips yixing’s shoulder and looks right at the younger’s eyes.

“i’m sorry. i know it’s too late but i only love you. i just play around with yeol and tao. i was never serious with them. i’m sorry if you found me kiss them. they asked me to. and i’m sorry if you felt that i was putting you in vain. yes it was my fault, but you’re my first boyfriend, xing, so i hope you understand that i couldn’t treat you well. i’m a casanova but i never had boyfriend before you. although i flirted to the other guys, i always thought of you while i was with them. and that message—that was supposed to be for you! i did mean it; i wanted you to call me ‘gege’, but well... i think i will always fluster when you call me that, with the sweet voice of yours. and about i joined joonmyun and minseok calling you a , well… you’re my . my only and none can ever steal you away from me. lu han and jongin, they can’t even get closer to you. i don’t like it when you’re with one of them or both. i’m telling you the truth, xing. and i promise you, i will be a better wu yifan for you. i will be a better boyfriend for you.”

yixing smiles weakly.

“now, xing,” yifan holds yixing’s hands, bringing them towards his board chest. “would you go back and say ‘i love you’?”

yixing chuckles with those tears. he looks at yifan deeply and soon he nods. “i love you.”

“i love you more.”

yifan then leans closer to yixing and seconds after that he smacks his lips to the shorter guy’s. yixing finds himself kiss him back while yifan wraps his arm around his waist. yifan smiles when yixing wraps his neck. the sweetest smile, not a smirk like usual. he can’t hide his happiness; he can get his love back to him. yixing maybe is happier than yifan. he could share his feelings and burdens, and he can be back to yifan. in the rain.

yifan pulls yixing’s head to deepen the kiss as he says, “i love you, silly baby.”

a/n:

i told you. my writing style was really awful. and here i am shamelessly sharing this story lol. but at least, with me posting it here, it kisses away my disappointment of something.

just please, by all means please, don't plagiarize any of my work.

meanwhile, enjoy this fic! ^^

p.s: contact me: ask.fm/chenpai :)