“Hana! Hana! What’s wrong?!”

Grabbing my arm and whirling me around to face him.

“No-nothing. Nothing’s wrong. I’m fine.”

“No you’re not. You’re shaking and your face is pale. Tell me what’s wrong. I promise I won’t tell anyone if you don’t want me to.”

“I don’t know.”

Placing his arms on my shoulder pulling his head closer to mines, he said,

“Tell me. You can count on me. I know you just moved here and have no one to go to. I’ll be that person. I’ll be your rock, the person you can depend on. I know that I have only known you for one year, but know this, I’ll always be here for you. Even if you don’t know it, I’ll be here. Tell me.”

I looked at him and thought for a moment deciding whether or not I should tell him. It was my biggest and darkest secret. But the look on his face told me that I could depend on him, that he could be my shoulder to cry on.

“It was when I was only 17. In Ho, the most popular kid in school. All the girls either loved him or hated him. Unfortunately I was one of the girls who loved him.”

                * 5 years ago*

“In Ho is coming!”

A girl screamed from somewhere in the crowd of people. Looking up from where I sat under a tree, girls ran from every direction just to get close to him. Even though I see this everyday, it still amazes me to see him attract so many girls. Girls to women drooled at his feet and I wonder why they were so crazy for him. I once told myself I would rather jump off a cliff before I ever liked him.

“Get to class or you all will be late!”

Yelled a teacher coming out of the school. I got up, collected my things and headed to class. Turning around I found my best friend in the world skipping over to me.

“Hana! Let’s go before we get in trouble.”

“Yes Mi Sun unnie, I’m coming!”

Running over to her, we hurried our way to the door and into our class, which In Ho happened to be in. Sitting down at my seat I waited patiently for the class to begin. Soon after, In Ho followed with his group of friends. Secretly as possible, I glanced at the back of the room were he sat to catch a glimpse of him. As soon as I looked back, he seemed to sense me staring and looked right at me and winked. Wiping my head back to the front of the room, I felt my face turn red.

“I saw that Hana. You like him don’t you?”

Asked Mi Sun who sat in the desk next to me.

“I don’t like him Mi Sun. You know that. I even told you so.”

“Then why is your face red?”

She said with a smirk on her face.

“I..I just…because he winked at me when I turned around to look at him. That doesn’t mean I like him.”

“Okay, if you say so.”

“I do say so.”

                *End of the day*

“Bye!”

“See you tomorrow unnie!”

Mi Sun and I said our goodbyes and went our own ways. Finally, school is out for the day and I can go home and get some sleep. I was so lost in thought that I didn’t notice Kim In Ho walking next to me until he interrupted my thoughts when he cleared his throat. Looking to my right to see who it was, it caught me by surprise to see In Ho of all people.

“Kang Hana right?” He asked

“Um, yeah.” I said.

“I saw you looking at me in class earlier. So I thought I would come and talk to you.”

Blushing bright red I turned my face so he couldn’t see.

“Well, you talked to me. You can go now.”

I said trying to sound like I found him annoying.

“Oh come on. Don’t be like that.”

“Like what?”

I said as if I was confused with what he was talking about. But he knew well enough to know I knew what he meant. Stepping in front of me so I would stop, he looked me straight in the eyes.

“Are you hungry? Let’s go grab something to eat.”

“No, I’m fine. I’ll just go eat at home.”

“Come on, there’s no harm in going to grab some food with me is there?”

I stopped, faced him and said,

“Will you just leave me a lone?”

“Okay, fine. But our conversation hasn’t ended.”

“Hasn’t it?”

I said and walked away. When I was far enough away from him, I leaned against the wall and took a deep breath. Wow Hana, I didn’t know you had the guts to do that. Well, I got that over with, now to head home.

Opening the door to my house, I stepped in and was greeting with my mother in the kitchen preparing my food for me. Everyday since I could remember, she would have food waiting for me when I got home. She knew that when I got home, I would be hungry.

“Annyeong Umma.”

“Annyeong, how are you doing today?” she replied.

“I’m fine. And how is my umma doing today?”

“You’re umma is doing fine as well.”

“That’s good to hear. Where is appa?”

“Appa is in the bedroom.”

Walking over to my parent’s bedroom, I knocked on the door and waited for my father’s reply.

“Come in.”

Opening the door, I peeked in and found my dad sitting on the floor reading the newspaper.

“Annyeong Appa. Are you feeling better today?”

“Much better thanks to you and umma for taking care of me.”

“Well, I hope you recover all the way soon so you don’t have to be stuck in bed.”

“I hope I do too.”

With a final smile, I left the room and went to the kitchen where my mother was. Picking up my food, which my mother had waiting on the counter for me, I went into the living room and sat at the table watching TV. Out of the blue my mom says, “You look lonely Hana.”

Looking up in confusion, I looked at my mom with a questioning look.

“I’m not, and where are you getting this from?”

“Well, you always look so lonely because there are no others kids in the family.”

“It’s okay. All I need is you and appa.”

“Well, okay, if you say so.”

“I do, so don’t worry about me.”

Later that night, I laid down on my bed and thought about what my mother had said. Am I really lonely? Now that I thought about I was sort of lonely. I always envied people with siblings. I wanted to know how it felt like to have a brother or sister. But I didn’t want my parents to know I felt this way. I just wanted them to be happy.

Slowly my thoughts started drifting to Kim In Ho. I replayed over and over what happened after school and wondered why in the world he would talk to me in the first place. We have been in the same school for 3 years now and he finally decides to come talk to me. All I could think of was that stupid eye contact that we made in class. Closing my eyes, I finally let myself fall asleep.

~~~

“Yah, Kang Hana, they want you in the office.” Mi Sun whispered poking me in the arm.

“What?” I said coming out of my daydream.

“They called you down to the office. Did you not hear?”

“Oh, no I didn’t. I guess I better go.”

Walking down towards the office, I wondered what they wanted me for. I opened the door and walked into the principle office.

“You wanted to see me Mr. Lee?” I asked.

Looking  from his desk when I opened the door, he gave me a sad look and sighed.

“Yes, and you better be seated for what I’m about to tell you.” He replied.

I sat down a bit confused. But a part of me knew that it was something bad. But just how bad, I didn’t know.

“Well, earlier we got a call from your mom at the hospital. She said your father…is dead.”