*MAJOR TRIGGER WARNING*

y~! ;)

So cute!!!

SO EXCITED FOR THIS COMEBACK!!! 

Oppa Saranghaeyo~ <3 <3 <3

All the others got basically the same comments on there teaser pics. About how handsome they were, how y they were, how masculine they were. And then there was mine.

.

.

Homo.

Gross.

Tranny.

.

Chode.

Ewww.

That is one ugly chick.

"It...it's okay Ren...." JR said. "They're probably not even real LO/\Es anyway."

"Yeah, that's right!" Aron added. 

"I bet you they're all antis.... They must've been planning this for months," Minhyun muttered.

"God dammit!!! I'm gonna go talk to the CEO THIS INSTANT! We'll get to the bottom of this!!!" I watched manager storm out and slam the door behind him.

Baekho just pulled me in a hug and rubbed my back. I just sat there. I wish I could say I was stunned, but...not really. I stared at my feet wishing I could just disappear. Or disinegrate. Just turn into a little pile of dust and blow away like I was never here and this never happened, that'd be fine.... God this is so ing embarrassing....

Baekho squeezed me tighter. "Listen, Rennie.... Those people are just being mean," he began. He pulled me into his lap but I jumped up, pushing him back harder than I meant to. "I'm fine, trust me. This isn't the first time this has happened." Baekho snatched my hand. "Listen! Ren!"

"Look, I'm fine!" I shook Baekho's hand off, again, harder than I meant to. I could see the hurt in his eyes.

"Minki...."

"Ren!" JR interrupted. "He's just trying to help. We all are!" I looked around. Everyone looked hurt all of a sudden.

"Ren, you can't let this get to you, okay? OKAY?"

"Alright!!!"

"No, you're not listening to me!" JR snapped. "I need you to-"

"I SAID I'M ING FINE!!! GODDAMN!!!" 

"CHOI MINKI!"

"NO!!! SHUT THE UP!!!" I screamed, my voice cracking. I turned around and stormed off to the bathroom. "I'm gonna go take a bath!!!" My go-to whenever I was pissed.

"Wait.... Ren," Aron called. "How...how come whenever you're frustrated, you always go take those long baths?"

"What?!"

"You heard me, Ren. Whenever you're mad, you go take a bath and don't come out for at least an hour. Why?"

I didn't know what to say. 

"Is there something going on, Minki?" Aron stared me down. Everyone's eyes were still on me. I just turned around and slammed the bathroom door on all of them.

And now I was alone. All bye myself. I sighed and sunk down to the floor, curling up in a ball. I rocked myself back and forth while eavesdropping through the bathroom door. 

"Something's not right...." "He's changed...." "He'll grow out of it...." "He's just having a rough patch."

After maybe 10 minutes I stood up. I pulled my phone out and gingerly placed it next to the tub. I twisted the faucet onto the hottest setting I could get it to and ran a bath. Finally I took my clothes off and slipped into the near-boiling water. I watched my pale skin turn red in the heat. Cuts and scars ran along my skinny, sickly legs. I looked disgusting. Some of the scars were at least 4 months old, while others weren't even a week old. There had to be at least 50 of them. I sighed.

I leaned over and grabbed my phone. I slipped off the cover, revealing a razor blade. I think I took it out of an open janitor's closet once, I'm not sure. Either way, no one knew about it and it never left my side. I took a deep breath and slid it across my skin.

It felt...good. Euphoric, almost. It just gave me this feeling like some sort of pressure was being released, like air leaking out of a ballon. It was just what I needed.

I did it again, only deeper. And again, and again, even deeper. I kept going. It felt so ing good. I couldn't stop. It was like I was cutting for every nasty comment on that damn teaser pic that I wish I hadn't read. The antis won, because my esteem was at an all time low, but I didn't ing care. It felt SO. DAMN. GOOD.

Eventually I started carving words into my legs. , , , chode. And then I just scratched them out and kept cutting. The tub water was reddish-brown, but I didn't stop. I was getting dizzy, but I couldn't stop. I just kept going, and going, and going...and then I out.

..........................................................................................
I woke up to a heavy knock on the door.

"Ren! REN! This is ridiculous, you've been in there for three hours! It's one in the morning! GET OUT NOW." I think it was JR. I tried to say 'okay', but all I could muster was a whimper. I tried to sit up but slipped back down with a huge splash. What the hell...? Did I fall asleep in the tub...?

"What was that? Ren, are you alright? Ren, answer me!"

Again, just a whimper, only a little louder this time.

"Ren! Ren! Minki!!!"

My whole body was numb, but it ing hurt too. I couldn't move.

"Ren...?" I heard a second voice. "Rennie, it's Baekho.... Are you okay? Answer me! Ren, if you don't answer me, I'm going to pick the lock! Alright? Ren...!" 

I gave up. After a second, I heard a rattling sound followed by the bathroom door opening.

"Ren...?! REN!!!!!" Baekho screamed. "JR! ARON! MINHYUN! I NEED SOME HELP IN HERE!!! GOD, MINKI, WHAT DID YOU DO?!?!?!"

Baekho scooped me out of the tub like a toddler. He laid me down on the bathroom floor, the cold tile pressing into my back.

"Baekho, what's the matter-OH MY GOD!!!" I heard others coming in, but I was too zoned out to tell who was who. Someone was shouting and someone else was crying. I felt towels being pressed against my thighs. Baekho was still holding my head in his lap while making shushing sounds in my ear.

I laid there crying, still unable to move. What the did I do...? What was I thinking...? What the is wrong with me?!

I just kept sobbing. "I'm so sorry...." I squeaked out, my voice scratching my throat. "I'm so, so sorry...."

"Shh.... Shh, Minki, everything's alright.... You're okay, you're okay.... Just please don't let go.... Just don't let go.... Sssshhhh.... It's alright.... We're right here, okay? We're here and we love you. It's all gonna be alright."

I kept sobbing.

________________________________

Yup. That's it. Sorry for a weak ending.