A/N : Flashbacks [Italic]           

Seconds... Minutes... Soon turns into hours.

She stares at the digital clock with a sigh. 2 am. It reads but there's still no sign of him.

She turns to lie on one side, stretching her arm across the bed. Ara wasn’t expecting him to be there but she let her eyes fix their gaze on the pillow that lies inches away from the one her head was resting on. Letting her mind wanders around the imaginary figure that was smiling down at her, she reach her fingers out and tried to reach for him. As soon as her fingers were close to his face, the figure fades away; leaving only emptiness... once again.

She leans her back against the headboard, staring into space. Letting the darkness of the room blinds her vision, she hugs his pillow tightly, slowly letting his scent lingers around her, Ara realized one thing.

She missed him.

She missed him a lot.

A single tear slipped out from the corner of her eyes, smearing his pillow as she sat there alone on the king size bed; cold and alone.

Loneliness; she thought she would never experience this ever again when she meets him for the first time. He promised to never leave her alone on their first date and never let her feel lonely when they first exchange rings. Promises are meant to be broken. Aren’t they?

She knows she should stop hiding behind her imaginary life, and the 'if' scenarios that she was scared to admit. He had become distant but it's only for awhile, she assures herself, but until when? Ara can't offer him the whole time in life. She needs stability, a loving entourage and a safe future for herself and him.

She needs him by her side.

She needs Jin.

It hurts. It hurts when all he told was all lies or when she allowed herself to believe his lies. Ara tries to be understanding, to trust him, because she loves him, just too much. And love is pure and unconditional.

Still, the more she gives, the more he takes.
 

3 am. An hour passed but Ara still couldn’t bring herself to sleep; not when she knows he isn’t safely back yet. Her eyes would flutter close, intending to sleep but shots open at the sounds she heard, hoping for him to be back. Lying down thoughtlessly, she waits for him.

Until finally, footsteps were heard from downstairs a few moments after the sound of his car parking in their garage. And minutes later, the doorknob to their bedroom cracked open. Ara closes her eyes with her back facing him and the bed sinking in upon his sudden weight. She could smell it, yet again, the strong alcohol smell with an unfamiliar perfume scent.Soon, soft snores were heard. Closing her eyes, she tried not to think of anything.; only letting his snores act like a lullaby for her.

The perfume does not belong to her and she knew very well where it come from.

* * * * * * * * * *

“Anniversary happens every year. It won’t hurt missing one.”

Jin chuckled into his phone, fiddling with the curtain ends with his fingertips as the corner of his lips formed a smile. He fixed his hair in front of the mirror and smiled at his own reflection, satisfied.

“She? She’ll be fine."

He walked over to the closet and randomly took out a decent looking jacket  before putting it on.

Ara stood behind the wall, slightly shaking as she stared at his back, feeling as if breathing was the hardest task at the moment and it is. This wasn't the first time and Ara felt like the world was going to end as she stood still.

The smile on his lips; he never smiled at her like that anymore. His smiles that she used to love seeing every morning somehow became so unfamiliar, so distant.

“I’ll pick you up in ten.”

As much as Ara wanted to bring herself in and start bursting at him, she didn’t.

She took a few steps back and walked back into the kitchen, from where she came from at first, preparing for the night. Her fist still firmly held by her sides. She stared blankly at the food she prepared for their big day and came to realize that it was all a waste. Jin was not celebrating it with her; he didn’t even plan to.

“I’m sorry, Ara. I have a very important meeting tonight with the boss. Don’t wait for me. I’ll be home late.”

He kissed her on her forehead and it stings Ara’s heart harder than she expected before closing the door shut behind him. He left without turning back, not a single glance. Just like his heart, there weren’t any piece left for Ara.

Ara looked at the spot he stood just three seconds ago, dejected and pain painted across her features because she knew their marriage was dying. She didn’t know when, how or why it happened but it was evident every single day. Jin was always talking in his phone and he seldom came home like he used to.

Ara wanted to scream at him, hit him, just let him know how much pain he’d caused her but still she never did any of those, for a sole reason; she was still deeply in love with him.

She knows he was lying to her again but every time he lied, she always holds onto the trust she had for him and believe that he had his reasons. His reasons to lied to her. But looking back at the untouched food that she had prepared for the whole day and the cold, distant, empty house, she knows well that there were no reasons for him to do so.

There were no reason so he never even bothered to lie.

Jin will never be here when she needs him.

He'll never be here for her.

But she’ll always be, for him.

* * * * * * * * * *

“How are you, Ara?”

The boy sitting across her asked but she was staring blankly at the white mug wrapped tightly in her hands, zoning out.

“Ara?”

Taehyung rests his hand on her shoulder, hoping to catch her attention but it startled her and she dropped the mug on the floor rug with a thud.

“I-I’m sorry.”

She reached out for the cup but Taehyung beat her to it. Putting both mugs down on the coffee table, he looked into her eyes with concern but the girl was avoiding any eye contact with him.

“Ara, are you okay?”

She forced a smile, giving him an assuring nod but Taehyung knows something was behind those half heartedly smile, behind that mask she was wearing.

“Don’t worry. I’m fine.”

Taehyung raised a brow at her but loosen up a little.

“So, what brings you here?”

Ara tried changing the topic, feeling uncomfortable with the sudden attention on her.

“Can’t I visit my own best friend?” Taehyung said earning a chuckle from Ara.

A smile that he hasn’t seen for awhile now and he missed it. Taehyung never failed to make her smile; he was after all, her best friend since childhood, someone who knows her well like the tip of his fingertips. Someone who could read her like an open book, in and out.

“How are things… with Jin?”

Taehyung knows about them and how their love was slowing losing but he also knows how much Ara loved the older one; how much she was still loving now.

“W-we’re… fine.”

Ara said in a tight smile. She wants to tell him how much pain she was feeling. Tell him how her husband was lying to her every day. Tell him how miserable she was now. But she didn’t because if she did, she is being selfish.

She knows the feeling Taehyung had for her since grade five. Even though she rejected him, he was always there for her every time she needs a shoulder to cry on. She’s grateful to have at least Taehyung by her side when she needs him.

But they both knew no one could replace the older one in Ara’s heart; not even Taehyung.

Life is just so unfair.

Loving someone who doesn’t love us back, hurts.

* * * * * * * * * *

“Uhm, Ara. I have something to tell you.”

Taehyung said, tapping his foot nervously as he held onto a box; a present he bought for Ara. A gift that he'd worked on for days.

It’s her eighteen birthday and he had planned on this gift for months, alongside with his confession. It started off with a crush during Grade 3 and it turns into love in Grade 5. It was hard because he fell in love with his own best friend, someone he technically grew up with, a sister.

And now that he’s finally able to give it to her, Taehyung couldn’t help but to feel excited and nervous at the same time. What if she doesn’t like it? And what if she rejects him?

“What coincident? I have something to tell you too!” Ara said, putting on the widest smile, resting her head on her palm dreamily.

“You first.” Taehyung said, playing with the ribbon of the box in his lap, returning the smile.

“Jin asked me out on a date today. And I agreed!”

Taehyung’s smile immediately fades when he saw how happy she was clapping her hands together and how she was jumping around.

“D-do you… like him?”

Taehyung notices a soft blush on her cheek and he knows her answer already.

“I don’t know, but aren’t you happy for me?” Ara said dreamily, as she clings onto his arm tightly. “He’s such a charmer.”

 “What were you going to tell me anyway?”

“I-I forgot. Maybe next time. I-I’ve got to go.”

Taehyung smiled bitterly at her, hiding the box behind his back. He watched as she skipped  off happily into the cafeteria and toss the box into his bag before walked away; heart crumpled like an unwanted paper, not having the courage to confess anymore.  

If he can’t be the one she loves, he’s going to be the one loving her.

* * * * * * * * * *

“I’m sending you to the hospital and it is final.” Taehyung said pulling Ara up from the couch, fishing his car keys out from his pocket.

She pulled her wrist back and protested, looking away. “I’m fine. No need for hospital.” But she instantly felt sick at her chest as if yesterday’s food was stuck in her oesophagus.

She smoothes her chest, covers with another hand and ran towards the bathroom. After throwing up everything she had, she felt a little dizzy but thank goodness Taehyung was there to hold her, or else she would have hit her head on the counter.