and now i am home

Oh god. Oh god oh man I am so nervous. With every chime of the doorbell my heartbeat quickens and I have to breathe slowly, in, hold, out, in, hold, out.

I remember my hands were shaking as I received the call, her name flashing on and off and on and off on my screen before I answered, voice unstable and eyes wide. Sitting on the practice room floor with my hyungs, resting from our dance rehersals, sweat trickling down my neck - and all of it forgotten the moment she said those words to me.

Of course I ran. Ignoring their shouts, ignoring their protests; still dressed in my vest and baggy shorts, hair a complete mess. Only just managing to grab my bag on the way out so I could hail a cab. Within half an hour I had arrived outside of her house, and was standing in her familiar garden, not as etheral in the daylight as it was when with her.

But it had taken me another ten minutes to work up the courage to ring the doorbell. And here I am now, wringing my hands, chewing my lip, going through scenario upon scenario upon scenario as I wait for them to open-

"Taehyung! You're here!"

Hearing my real name drop from her lips feels foreign, but I manage a wobbly smile at the older woman and bow low, taking in one last deep breath.

"Mrs Do... I came as fast as I could."

When I first met her, in the hospital that day, I knew she recognised me. The furrowing of her eyebrows, the frown, the glint in her eye - it was instant. But she said nothing, nothing at all until her daughter had been wheeled away and the doors closed behind her, when the dreaded sentence came out.

"You're not Taeil... are you."

I should have seen it coming. This stupid lie couldn't last forever. I'm surprised she even heard me out, never mind considered letting me near Sojin ever again. I had taken advantage of her disability all for the sake of wanting some normality, which even just saying in my head sounds like the most dickheaded move in the entire world.

But... she... forgave me. Her mother forgave me. 

"You may have won me over, but Sojin could be a different story. She threw all her trust into you, if what you're telling me is true. Something like that might be hard to recover."

"Come in, come in, don't just stand there. You're probably excited, right?" Mrs Do breaks my reminiscing to usher me through the front door, and suddenly I'm crossing into unfamiliar territory, into Sojin's world.

"More like terrified," I manage to squeak pathetically, but she just puts a hand on my bicep comfortingly and gives me a sad smile.

"I'm not going to sugar coat anything," she says gently. Her voice is softer than it was before the surgery, and I can already tell that the stress is slowly melting away, allowing her to smile. "Whatever happens now is in my daughters hands. But no matter who you told her you were, nothing changes the fact that you were there for her. You stood by her side for those horrible six months, when her own mother couldn't even handle it, and you got her through it. I will never forget that."

"M-Mrs Do..." my voice is choked up trying to surpress tears I know are coming, and she sniffs hard and shoves me playfully, reaching up to brush at her cheeks.

"Don't say anything, ok? This is not the time to have this conversation, when there is someone in the next room who is very much looking forward to meeting you. I hope you are prepared."

Am I prepared? No. No I'm not. But looking at her now, this woman on the verge of crying in my arms, I feel the gratitude radiating from her despite my actions. And without even considering otherwise, I instantly gather her into a hug, holding her tightly until I feel her breathing calm down and she pats my head.

"Thank you... Thank you so much, ma'am. I promise, I will not ever hurt your daughter again. You have my word."

"Ugh. Just go!" She replies as she pushes me away, but the grin