N E W   F E E L I N G S

She didn’t know how it happened, but the next day, Jessica found herself sitting at a cafeteria table filled with strangers.

Well, she knew one person: Tiffany.

Jessica had met her in her last class.  Tiffany approached her first, and Jessica was her cold and quiet self, but Tiffany was just too loud and too talkative.  Jessica finally responded and had a conversation with the brunette, learning that she was from America also—Los Angeles to be exact.

The two had hit it off pretty well, and Jessica accepted Tiffany’s offer to eat lunch with her, unaware that Tiffany was actually one of the popular girls at school and that there would be a lot of other people there too.

So that’s how Jessica ended up sitting at a crowded cafeteria table with Tiffany on her right and strangers everywhere else.

The table was full of conversation, but Jessica stayed out of it.  She just stared at the Korean food on her tray.  At a young age, Jessica decided that she didn’t like Korean food, but now living in Korea, that’s really all there was to eat.  Taking a deep breath, Jessica decided she was too hungry and that the unappetizing food was actually starting to seem appealing.  Picking up her chopsticks, she took a small bite of kimchi.

Mmm, pretty good.

She could hear Tiffany’s loud voice next to her, laughing along with the other kids sitting at the table about a joke Jessica never knew about, but a poke on the shoulder made Jessica turn to look at the brunette, now understanding that she was asked a question.

“So how do you like South Korea so far?” Tiffany asked the new girl, giving the blonde one of her signature eye-smiles.

Jessica tried not to answer sarcastically as she felt a dozen eyes watching her, waiting for her answer.  “It’s…nice.”  Not.  She didn’t want to tell them how much she hated living here, how much she missed her old home and her old friends.

Tiffany smiled softly.  “Don’t worry, things will get better.  I know what you’re going through.”

As the brunette went back to her food and friends, Jessica realized that Tiffany had spoken in English.  The blonde blinked once before returning to her own food.

She really seems to understand me.         

Maybe I really did just make a new friend.

--

As Jessica walked down the hallway after lunch, she found her eyes wandering, looking around for someone.

What?!  No, I’m not looking for him.

But even if she didn’t want to find, she eventually did.

He stood with a cell phone in his hand and facing an open locker—one that wasn’t too far from her locker—and from the angle they stood at, she could see his face perfectly…and the tear that rolled down it.

--

“Dr. Jung, please report to the emergency room.  Dr. Jung, please report to the emergency room.”

Jessica sighed upon her entrance into Seoul Medical Center, disappointed by the welcoming of the intercom which called her father back to work.

She looked down at the plastic bag in her hand that held the food her mother gave her, telling her to give it to her father who would be working late.  She stood at the entrance a second longer as she debated on what to do next.

Jessica made her way to the reception desk that was not too far from the entrance.  She hoped they would finish her job of delivering the food to her father so she could return home and sleep.

“Excuse me,” she said, getting the middle-aged lady’s attention.

“Yes, how may I help you?” Jessica didn’t miss the curious look the lady gave her.  She seemed to be getting that look a lot in this country—she got a lot of them on the bus ride to the medical center.

“I’m Dr. Jung’s daughter.  I’m here to give him something.”  She held up the plastic bag.

“Oh, well Dr. Jung just went into surgery, but it shouldn’t take long.  You can wait in the waiting room over there.”  The receptionist pointed behind Jessica to a room off to the side that was full of chairs.  Jessica turned to look, seeing that all the chairs were practically filled with only a few chairs left open.  She faced the lady once more.

“But—” Jessica was cut off by the receptionist’s ringing phone.  She huffed as the lady answered it.  She did not want to stay in the hospital with its sterilized smell and sick people.

She went into the waiting room and sat down in a random chair between two people.  One was an old man who was sleeping with his mouth wide open, but luckily for Jessica, he wasn’t snoring.  The guy on her left was a young man reading a magazine on his lap, his hair hanging down to cover his face.  The blonde looked back at the old man.  Could she sleep too?  It was pretty late and she was tired from the long day at school.

She placed her father’s dinner on the coffee table in front of her and leaned back, hoping to get comfortable.  She placed her elbow on the armrest of her chair, but she made contact with someone else’s arm instead.

“Oh, I’m sorry,” she said, taking back her arm.  She looked at the young man, whose arm she elbowed, and her eyes widened as she recognized who it was.

‘No way,’ she thought.  ‘There’s just no way I can possibly run into him again—and here of all places?!’

Jinki’s eyes bulged out of their sockets, mimicking Jessica.

“What are you doing here?” Jinki asked.  Jessica couldn’t help but think back to when she had ran into him at the library.  At the time, she had asked why he was there, now it was his turn to ask that question.

Crossing her arms, she said coldly, “I can be here if I want.”

Jinki didn’t press for answers—he was too tired to even try.  He went back to his magazine, not reading it but just staring at the page as he tried not to cry.

‘Why is he at the hospital?’ Jessica thought to herself.  She glanced at him out of the corner of her eye.

Is he…okay?

--

For the last hour, Jessica stared at the carpeted floor in front of her.

‘Dad, hurry up!’ she yelled at him in her mind.  She figured she must’ve dozed off a bit, because the next thing she knew, her father was walking out of the emergency room to talk to a nurse.

Oh my God, yes!  Now I can go home!

She grabbed the plastic bag full of food off the table, and out of the corner of her eye, she saw Jinki jump out of his seat.  She shrugged her shoulders.  Whatever.

The blonde made her way over to her father once the nurse had walked away, but someone else beat her to him.

Jinki ran up to her father and gripped his arm tightly, desperately.  “Please tell me she’s going to be okay,” Jessica could hear him practically beg.

What the—?

Jessica stood off to the side against a wall awkwardly alone as she tried to give the two some privacy to talk.

“Your mother is going to be fine,” Jessica heard her father say, his deep voice booming.  “Since it was only a minor heart attack, she can be released in a couple of days.”

‘Is that why he was crying in the hallway?’ Jessica asked herself, feeling sorry for him, ‘because his mother had a heart attack?’

She tried not to stare, but looking at the boy, she could tell that a huge weight had been lifted off his shoulders.  She could practically hear his sigh of relief as he hesitantly asked his next question.  “C-can I see her?”

Dr. Jung thought about it for a moment.  “I guess it’ll be okay, but only for a few minutes since she just got out of surgery.  I just have to sign a few papers really quick, then—” that was when he looked up from the clipboard he was holding to spot his daughter not too far away.  “Sooyeon?”

Jessica gave a small wave to her father, trying not to roll her eyes at the use of her Korean name.

She walked over to her father who kissed her on the cheek.  “Is everything alright at home?” he asked worriedly, looking his daughter over as if he could visibly see a problem on her.

This did cause her to roll her eyes.  “Everything’s fine, Daddy,” she said and held out the plastic bag.  “Mom told me to come give you your dinner since you’ll be working late tonight.”

Looking down at her, Dr. Jung smiled.  “Thanks, sweetie, but it turns out I won’t be working as late as I thought; the surgery went by smoothly, so after I sign some papers and I take Jinki here to see his mother, I can take you home.”

‘So I didn’t have to come all the way here?!’ Jessica tried not to scream aloud.

“Oh,” she said, not giving away her emotions.

Dr. Jung turned and placed a hand on Jinki’s shoulder.  “This is Lee Jinki,” he introduced, unaware that Jessica already knew who he was.  “Jinki, this is my daughter, Sooyeon.”

“It’s Jessica, Dad,” the blonde cut in.  “I still go by my English name, and we know each other.”

“So you guys go to the same school then?” Dr. Jung asked, his question answered with nods from the teenagers.  “Great!  So it would be awkward!  Jess, keep him company while I sign some release forms for another patient.”

He walked away, leaving the two classmates together in what was really an awkward atmosphere.

--

“So your father’s a doctor?” Jinki asked.  Of course, the answer was obvious, but Jinki didn’t know what else to say.

“Yeah,” Jessica answered, leaning back against the wall.  She looked away from him and was thinking of just ignoring him, but moved without her will, speaking without meaning to.  “It was why we moved to South Korea.”

Jinki, although happy she answered his question, was shocked that she provided him with more information about herself.  He knew just a little bit more about this blonde ice princess.

He wanted to ask more questions, but the doctor returned, interrupting anything else that could be said.

“So you want to see your mom?” Dr. Jung asked.  Jinki nodded and Jessica’s father looked at her.  “Why don’t you go wait in the car, Sooyeon?  I’ll be done in a few minutes.”  He handed her the keys.

“My name’s Jessica,” she mumbled, knowing he couldn’t hear her.  She made her way out of the hospital, wanting to get out of there as quickly as possible, but his voice called back to her.

“I’ll see you at school,” Jinki said, smiling brightly.

Jessica froze, almost blinded by his smile.  She found herself almost smiling back, but she stopped herself.  She nodded at him in acknowledgement instead and walked through the automatic doors.

She made her way to the elevators that would take her to the parking garage, and in its shining metal doors, she was able to catch her reflection.

She placed her cold hands on her warm cheeks, trying to get rid of the pink blush that found its way there.

Jessica thought back to what Jinki said.  I’ll see you at school.

And strangely, she couldn’t wait for school tomorrow.

--

[posted: 09.29.11]

[edited: 06.22.11]