I just want to be loved, is it hard for the fans to see the loneliness in me?

 

I have devoted myself in music since the day I've decided to touch hearts with my performances but what I wanted now is just to love someone with all my heart, to give him my all.

 

Am I in fault for loving someone that matters to me?

 

Ironically, I have sang so many love songs but have never once truly fell in love with someone that would make my heart beat like a drum performance whenever he smiles or someone who would make me swear to hold on to our love no matter what.

 

I have never thought of falling for his charms because he is always seen as a dongsaeng that is unbelieveably mischievous

 

but

fate has brought us close together

 

and with Cupid’s blessings,

we fell in love ♡

 

All I have ever wanted is a life of my own.....can I not control my own destiny?

 

He is important to me, just like how music, singing and the fans matter to me. I love my fans and I care about what they think and say about our relationship.

 

I know I am being selfish about my own feelings but this is not a one-sided love.

 

We love each other romantically and that is the truth.

 

I am aware of how the fans are hurt emotionally by our dating news but I am never in the position of being happy with all of these going viral.

 

I am hurt too.

 

The pain we received from the pile of hurtful comments and curses have yet to fade away magically.

 

They are still in me,

 

in us.

 

I just want to cry this out for once:

 

“Can anyone who once loved me or loves me and maybe even him give us a chance to prove ourselves?”

 

I have always prayed for happiness and with him, I could truly understand why people in love could be so joyful and bright.

 

I would like to declare that there is no conspiracy in our love. It was meant to be pure and real but it has now been impurified by the hurtful comments and the negative spotlight.

 

Hateful comments talking about how my career is going to end and how he betrayed his group members got me thinking:

 

"Would there still be hateful comments if I am to date someone in a senior group or someone who had established his career much longer than I did?"

 

How I wish to filter out all of the uneasiness and self-consciousness when we first met after the news broke out.

 

I feel so sorry for him.

 

I want to protect him just like the way he brought laughter and bliss to me

 

but

what should I do?

 

I find it hard to show him my love because we cannot date each other frequently and we are not to show our affections openly. That is why I have utilized Instagram as our only source of connection that could be shared publicly.

 

I sincerely apologize for hitting around the bushes for so long. I should have admitted our relationship sooner so that the fans would feel much at ease and the damages I caused would be far less than what is done now.

 

There are moments of doubt when we first decided to confirm the dating news. I knew that this day would eventually come and hit us in the face with bricks of hate and curses but there is no stepping down.

 

We love each other and we promised to stand firm no matter how hard our future would be after this incident.

 

We trust our love, we trust our fans.

 

Moreover, I have learnt my lessons after all of these happenings. I would do my best to hide all of my feelings deep within the dim light of my heart. I will keep our profile low and put my main focus on my career rather than our love story. I will also try to suppress the urge to boast about him or to gaze at him affectionally whenever we meet in public.

 

Those are the only promises I could keep for my fans after hurting them with our love confession.

 

Once again, I am sorry.