"And raising a child is easier?" Seunghyun was on the verge of laughing now.

Jiyong wasn't having any of this. He walked right into that one and he didn't care anymore. "Fine. If this is what I get from expressing what I feel and what I believe us as a couple should be doing then fine, ignore me. Why did I even bother?"

"I love you." Jiyong gasped before he surged forward and kissed Seunghyun.

 

 

Seunghyun opened the bedroom door quietly, careful not to wake Jiyong. It was 2AM on a Thursday night and Seunghyun just finished preparing for another restaurant opening downtown. All he could think about was taking a hot shower and falling asleep next to the love of his life. But the bed was empty. Pristine bedding and comfortable pillows were untouched. At this hour, Seunghyun was expecting to see Jiyong in bed in his pyjamas reading a book or tapping his iPad, but no one was there. He made his way to the bathroom and still no sight of Jiyong.

And then he remembered- the room next door- the yellow room that had just been renovated and decorated to welcome the new addition to their small family. There was a delivery earlier that day, the crib arrived early in the morning and they assembled it just before Seunghyun had to be in the restaurant.

Jiyong had to be in that room.

"Ji?" Seunghyun peeked his head into the empty room. He saw Jiyong standing over the crib and in an instant, Seunghyun's heart beat a little faster. Suddenly he could see it clearly in his head- Jiyong putting their kid to bed, reading a story or singing a lullaby. Well, maybe not singing, Seunghyun's still convinced that he's the better singer out of the two of them. 

"Hey, just got home?" Jiyong turned and his eyes were red- he'd been crying.

"Babe, are you okay?" Seunghyun walked closer and embraced him.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I'm- I was just... thinking." Jiyong's voice was soft. He buried his face on the crook of Seunghyun's neck, securing his hold around Seunghyun's waist.

"You were fine when you came over to the restaurant for lunch and now you're crying... And here I thought I'm the worst liar."

Seunghyun could hear Jiyong chuckled softly.

"It's okay. I'm just... overwhelmed, I guess? I'm a little bit scared. Actually no, I'm petrified. I know nothing about raising a child." Jiyong was anxious. He'd been reading books about babies, mothers and cousins had given him advice and even Google had been his best friend in doubt but still, the fact that he's going to be raising a baby was quite overwhelming.

"Me neither. Remember that goldfish that died a week after we bought it? What was his name? Pepper? Pecker?" 

"Hyun, you are not helping." But Jiyong said it with a gentle smile on his face.

"Listen, when I first started this whole restaurant thing, I knew zilch about running a restaurant. All I wanted was to create a space for people to have a good time and enjoy good food. You know what I did? I found a chef who wanted the same thing I did and we figured it out together."

Jiyong let out a soft laugh, he knew what Seunghyun was trying to do but he's still grateful that Seunghyun was still patient enough to assure him every time he had his doubts.

"This baby is that little restaurant I started all those years ago when I was a cocky bastard." Seunghyun added.

"So you're not a cocky bastard now?" Jiyong was back to nuzzling on Seunghyun's neck while holding back his laughter.

"No. Now, I'm just cocky." Seunghyun pecked the top of Jiyong's head.

Jiyong laughed again and then they let silence to engulf them. He's still part excited and part terrified, but he kept reminding himself that Seunghyun was there. The steady hand resting on his back and the sturdy chest he's leaning against- yes, Seunghyun still calmed him the best.

"What name are we going to give the baby?" Jiyong's voice was slightly muffled because he still snuggled close to Seunghyun.

But Seunghyun just hummed as a reply. They had talked about names before but they hadn't really decided on one.

"If it's a girl, I like the name Hana."

"Hana. I like it. Hana Choi." Seunghyun tried putting his last name in- his voice resembled the proud father of someone who just won a gold medal.

"Hana Choi-Kwon." Jiyong corrected him.

Seunghyun laughed again. He was about to rebuke Jiyong's comment when his phone buzzed- a new message in his inbox.

"."

"What happened? Is it the restaurant?" Jiyong pulled away, he turned to face the crib and fixed the pillows in it.

"The baby. It's coming." Seunghyun's expression was serious, he showed the message to Jiyong.

Jiyong's eyes went wide when he saw the screen and immediately he speed-walked out of the room. He was yelling instructions to Seunghyun- to check whether the baby bag is in the car, to check whether there's diapers inside that bag- while he's changing out of his pyjamas.

"Does your mom want to go with us? Is she coming? We can pick her up on the way. Seunghyun?" Jiyong finally finished changing and was already on his way to the garage. "Seunghyun where are you?" He called out again when Seunghyun didn't answer him. He ran back into the baby's room and saw Seunghyun still standing there- frozen, snext to the crib where Jiyong left him.

"Choi Seunghyun?" Jiyong waved his hand in front of Seunghyun.

"We're having a baby..." Seunghyun mouthed the words to himself, as if he's making sure that he's not dreaming

And it's Jiyong's turn to laugh now, so Seunghyun was just as overwhelmed as he was.

"Yes. We're having a baby and it's going to be okay. Remember? You told me it's going to be okay because we have each other...." Jiyong cupped Seunghyun's face and staring into his eyes.

"Because we have each other," Again, Seunghyun repeated the sentences. "You, me and the baby." The corners of Seunghyun's lips were starting to curl into a smile.

"Yes. You, me and little-- We have no name if it's a boy. What if it's a boy?" Jiyong started to panic again.

Seunghyun and Jiyong stared at each other and suddenly they burst into laughter- tears of joy were streaming on their cheeks. Jiyong was back to hugging Seunghyun and still reciting "We are having a baby!" over and over again.

The new parents were overwhelmed and joyful at the same time, but luckily, Seunghyun remembered what they'd practiced several times before for this specific moment. "Okay, now... Let's first go to the hospital and get the papers ready. It's late so I don't think my mom is awake. So let's just go straight to the hospital... And then... our baby..." Seunghyun's rambling stopped halfway.

"We're having a baby." Jiyong said one last time with the biggest grin on his face before they made their way to the car.

 

 

"Mr. Choi?" 

Seunghyun jumped on his seat. They had been waiting in the hospital for about 4 hours- nervous and hopeful. Anything could happen, the biological mother could change her mind and keep the baby or even worse, something went wrong during the delivery.

"Yes!" Jiyong stood up before Seunghyun.

The nurse approached them. "Mr. Choi, your baby is waiting for you."

"Can we meet the mother?" Seunghyun stood up, he cleared his throat after asking the question.

"She requested for her privacy to not be disturbed. She asked me to tell you both that she hopes you will raise this child well. She also said thank you."

Seunghyun nodded- he had wanted to meet the mother of his child but his lawyer warned him that this scenario might happened too.

"Can we see the baby now?" Jiyong was still anxious, he's asking Seunghyun instead of the nurse.

"If you would follow me..." The nurse gestured toward the room at the end of the hallway.

She gave them a smile and then led them to a giant window- the white curtain was blocking their view from what's behind the window. "Give me a minute. The baby is in the incubator but you can see from here."

"Incubator? Hyun, is that a bad sign?"Jiyong clutched Seunghyun's hand.

"It's the normal procedure. There's nothing to worry about. Normally, we would give the newborn to the mother- newborns are sensitive towards the temperature and cuddling with the mother would keep them warm. But since--"

"I can hold the baby." Jiyong blurted. "I can hold him. If that's okay?"

"It's a girl. Your baby is a girl. And of course you can hold her. Just follow me." The nurse smiled and proceeded to open the door.

Jiyong turned to Seunghyun, he's wiping his eyes with back of his hand- trying to stop the tears from flowing. Seunghyun just gave him a soft smile and brushed his thumbs underneath Jiyong's eyes, "Go. I'll wait here."

Jiyong cleared his throat and then followed the nurse into the room. Seunghyun took a deep breath and waited. He stared at the window, filled with anticipation and his heart drumming in his chest. He'd never been so nervous his whole life- not even when he got down on one knee and proposed to Jiyong.

Seunghyun rested his forehead against the window, he needed to calm his breathing and also his heart beat because if not, he's pretty sure his chest could explode any second now.

And that's when the curtain opened.

Seunghyun didn't see any babies. But he saw Jiyong in a hospital robe, a haircap and a mask. And in Jiyong's arm, there's a white bundle.

It's her. The baby. Their child. It's Hana.

The baby stirred, still with her eyes tightly closed- she stirred and turned her head facing Jiyong's chest. Jiyong was cradling the baby tenderly and he looked up to Seunghyun once then back again to the little girl sleeping in his arms. Seunghyun subconsciously laughed- he started laughing and crying at the same time. With one hand pressed pressed against the window, he whispered, "Hello Hana..."

Jiyong looked at him again and he's crying too. Seunghyun could only smiled back when Jiyong walked closer to the other side of the window, he angled the little girl to face Seunghyun.

Seunghyun whispered again, "Hi Hana. I'm Seunghyun and I'm your dad." He smiled, fully aware how stupid this must've looked- talking to someone on the other side of the window, but he didn't care. "I promise you that I will keep you safe. And that I will love you forever."

Seunghyun could see Jiyong lifted the baby closer to his face- he's giving her a kiss from behind the mask.

"Hana, that's your other dad. His name is Jiyong and he will also love you forever. We will protect you and we will spoil you and no one can stop us. Can you hear me? It's our promise to you. You are going to be so loved that no other man can love you more than the two of us. I promise."

Seunghyun's chest expanded when he saw the baby gingerly put her tiny hand on Jiyong's chest as if she's comforting him instead, as if it's the most natural thing in the world for her to do. It's something he'd never felt before- very similar to when he set eyes on Jiyong the first time. He thought loving Jiyong was the greatest thing and that he wouldn't be able to love another person just as much. He couldn't be more wrong. Standing before his eyes, the two people he once thought he'd never had. Seunghyun was ready to be a bachelor for the rest of his life- his life was about restaurants and more restaurants. He learnt early that life is what you make of it and that's why he worked until he couldn't feel tired anymore. Until Jiyong came along and changed everything. He thought Jiyong would be his equal and they would conquer the world together. But what Jiyong gave him was a new life- one he didn't see coming and instead of conquering the world, he was conquered by love. Seunghyun learnt what loving means from Jiyong, he found something more precious than life. And again, all because of Jiyong, he has two of somethings more precious than life.

Seunghyun pressed himself closer to the window, forehead and fingers practically digging on the glass- his eyes never left his daughter and a smile etched on his face.

"Mr. Choi?" A voice brought him back to reality.

"Mr. Choi, would you like to join your family inside?" The nurse was already holding an extra hospital gown.

Seunghyun sighed, "Yes. Yes I do, more than anything in the world."

 

 

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