Part 1:

Jang Wooyoung....that's a sweet name, isn't it?

He was certainly the best thing that had ever happened in my life. And the memories we shared for the first six months of our relationship were bittersweet. Eventhough we'd been friend for years, there were times when we couldn't stand each other's habits. My pride was always stronger than his, so most of our arguments ended with his defeat, even though deep down, I knew I was wrong.

We argued about little things, like who left the trashcan open, or who forgot to take in the clothes. At the end of the day, despite all these bitter moments, I would pull him into a hug and mutter a soft apology into his ear. And he would smile before planting a kiss on my cheeks.

Our sweet moments outweighted the bad times anyway. We shared a love for vanilla ice cream topped with rainbow sprinkles. And he was always trying on different ways to take his ice cream. There was one time he bought a carton of rootbeer from a nearby hypermarket, and it was enough to last two weeks of float for dinner. And right after that, he bought three large bottles of coke and thought it would work the same way as rootbeer.

I told him rootbeer was better and he agreed.

Tuesdays and Fridays were our movie nights. My shift ended early on those days, so I rushed home immediately to make it for our date. We don't hang out as much as we did anymore. Mainly because I had work six days a week, and on the only day I was free, he had to watch over his friend's recording store. When I got too bored at home, I sometimes joined him at work, but even that had stopped. The lack of rest was wearing me down.

"Taec, I'm home...." His sweet voice would tiredly announce his return.

"Welcome home, baby." I greeted back, handing him a glass of warm milk. We slumped onto the couch after that, and without even doing anything, fell asleep in each other's arms.

I began to miss the life we shared before we moved in together. Those nights were always so magical.

The workload I had soon began to pile up on my desk. It became so bad I had to bring home most of my work, and Wooyoung frowned at the sudden lack of attention. On certain nights, when I had important cases to deal with before tomorrow's deadline, I would sometimes ignore him until the paperwork was done. And this could take days. The longest we went without talking more than ten words stretched for a week, but he said he was going to Busan for a week anyway, so at least his mother could keep him company.

I generally felt bad at first, but because there was always a reason that would make me not feel bad, it eventually turned into a habit: a practice. And now, whenever I brought my work home, he would pack up his bags and leave for Busan the next day. I never asked him why. I assumed he just missed his mother a lot.

"Call me once you're back." I said, my eyes glued to my laptop screen as I continued reading through the contract.

"You know I will." He wrapped both his arms around my neck and kissed my temple. "I love you, Taec."

I was too busy to tell him I love him too.

The calls always came. He never missed a chance to call me, even when I was too busy to remember my promise to call him back. "Hey baby, still working on that case?" He said with a tired voice.

"Yeah." I replied. I used my shoulder to press the phone against my ear. My hands were typing away an important letter on my laptop, and this was due tomorrow. I still had two more cases to check on.

"I'm not coming back tomorrow."

I didn't know how long it had been since he left for Busan. Three days? A week? "How long will you be gone?"

He paused for a moment. "I'm not sure. Do you want me to come back tomorrow?"

"I still have a lot of work. It's best you stay with your mum first. I'll call you when I'm done."

"Ok, Taec. Don't overwork yourself."

I snorted. That was my life for the past few months. There was always an extra work. If I wasn't sitting in front of my laptop, writing out letters or answering emails, I would be on the phone, talking to my clients. Daytime was spent in court, because being a barrister meant I had to work in court for most parts of my day, and lunch was reserved for clients. I don't remember the last I had a proper lunch with my lover.

Before he ended the call, he said, "Happy 8th month anniversary, Taec."

He waited for my reply. But instead I ended the call. There was another oncoming call from an important client of mine, and I needed to take that call.

Our life had literally stopped for the time being. I wasn't sure when we might do it again. My boss had just promoted me into a senior partner and that meant more important cases to deal with. I was strolling through the High Court one evening, taking a breather after three gruelsome hours of examining and cross-examining witnesses, when Wooyoung's image suddenly flashed through my mind.

It was so sudden and spontaneous that I jolted in surprise. Right away, I whipped out my phone and dialled his number. His mum picked up.

"Ah, ahjummah, annyeonghaseyo." I greeted her, wondering why Wooyoung didn't pick up instead.

"Is this Taec? Ah, annyeong..." She greeted back. "Are you looking for Woo?"

"Yeah, is he there?"

"He's....well, he's busy. I could pass your message to him if you want."

I noticed a hint of reluctance in her voice as she said this, like she was hiding something. Thinking nothing of it, I said, "No, it's okay. I'll call him back later. How is he now?"

"You're his lover. You should know. I haven't seen you for almost a year. When will you come to visit?"

"Mianhae ahjummah. I've been so caught up with work lately. I still have four more cases to bill. Maybe after that, I might consider coming over for a visit." I smiled apologetically, and then realized she could not see it.

"Well, I hope you could take at least a day in your busy life to see my son. When was the last time both of you even saw each other?"

Her words placed a guilty weight on my shoulders. I don't even remember the last time I saw him. When was it? A week? Two weeks? More than that?? "Is he coming back soon?"

"No." She said, with a solemn voice. "I really think you should come over for a visit."

I was growing a little suspicious then. Why was she so insistent that I go over to meet him? Why can't he come back to our apartment? It was our home after all. "Ne ahjummah. I'll do that soon. I'm sorry, I have to go now. My clients are calling me."

She said her goodbye and then our conversation ended. I should have rushed there immediately, but I didn't. Instead, I chose to dwell with my busy life and fed it more attention than I had ever given Wooyoung lately.

It was the biggest mistake I made in my life.

"Khun, did you get me the information I needed for that Vaughlia case?" I asked my best friend, the same guy who'd been with me through primary and secondary school, college and eventually landing a job in the same firm with me. Nichkhun simply gave a small smile before passing over a brown folder. There were papers inside, and those papers were about to rake in millions for our firm, if I win of course. "Thanks man."

Before I left, he stopped me in my tracks. "Taec, I hope you know this case might promote you into a status of an international lawyer." He pointed out.

I turned to face him. "Yeah, of course I know. It's been my dream." My chest was welling with pride. I dreamed of this moment for a long time. It was a dream my parents wanted me to achieve before they died in that car crash five years back.

He looked at me with a serious expression on his face and then sighed when I didn't get his point here. "I'll certainly miss you. We've been together since kindergarten. And this would probably be the first time we're going our separate ways." He said with a sad smile.

I understood his feelings. I was sad that I had to leave too. If I win the current case, the firm would most likely send me to Germany by next day. And that meant leaving Korea, the people I care about, my home....my lover.

"Will Woo be fine about that?" He suddenly asked.

I bit my lips, unable to provide him an answer. To be honest I wasn't sure. I hadn't told him about my promotion as a senior partner, nor about the Vaughlia case. But the latter was strictly confidential. Still, I always tell him everything on the spot. So I was quite shocked at how much we had drifted apart these last few months.

"Taec, you should tell him." Khun told me. "I'm his friend too, and if it hurts me to see you gone, I'm sure it'll hurt him more. You should find some time to spend with him too. When was the last you guys did anything fun together?"

I didn't remember. Oh my gosh, how I could forget all of our time together? Wooyoung must be hurting so badly right now. "I'll call you later." I told Khun before leaving his office in a hurry.

Driving to Busan wasn't a joy, but I managed to enjoy the scenery a bit. If Wooyoung was around, he would have enlighten me with witty jokes the whole way. The trip felt hollow without him there. I could almost imagine him making up weird jokes about his friend at work. Or about his studies. No matter how difficult and tiring his studies became, he would always complain about it until there was nothing left to complain. I would listen and laugh at certain points of his jokes. Otherwise I was the only one he could pour out his emotions to.

When I finally arrived in Busan, I rested at a nearby pit stop before continuing my drive again. Wooyoung didn't answer any of my calls so far and I wondered if he was busy.

His house eventually loomed into sight. It looked the same as I had visited it last year. Mrs Jang was in the front yard, tending to her garden. When she saw my car, she quickly dropped her spade and rushed into the house. I chuckled at the sight of her running into the house with her apron dangling on her lap. After parking my car, I made for the front door.

Wooyoung's sister answered it. "Hey Taec!" She greeted with a smile on her face. "It's been a long time. Where had you been all this while?"

"I had work." I said, "Where's Woo? I need to tell him something."

She didn't budge from the door. "Um...this isn't the best time...."

"Why not? He's my lover. I need to see him."

"Well, you've been missing for a while. And he might be too embarrassed to see you in his condition."

"Condition?" I was getting worried. What did she mean? "Please let me see him, noona." I persuaded her once more, pouting a little when she resisted.

But eventually she gave up. "Oh fine. But don't blame me when things start flying over your head."

I heeded her warning and stepped into the house just as she moved aside. Everything looked the same from inside too. The only thing odd was the occupants themselves. Wooyoung's sister was a little fidgety and she kept looking away from me. I didn't ask her if something was wrong.

When I was finally standing in front of Wooyoung's door, she suddenly stopped me. "Wait...are you sure you want to see him?"

"Yes. I miss him a lot and I want to see him."

There was small nod, but her expression was a sad one. She let out a loud sigh and then said, "Go in then. I'll be out here in case anything happens."

When I opened the door and stepped, Wooyoung was the same like he had always been. He turned to face me. There was no smile on his face. I noticed a weird bulge in his stomach and I thought he had just gained weight. But instead of running over and hugging me tightly, which I expected, he looked at me with a puzzled expression on his face and asked, "Who are you?"

Who are you?

He had forgotten who I was.

PART 2:

I naturally thought it was a joke at first. A very cruel joke to play indeed. "Woo, it's me. Taec. Your boyfriend."

"My boyfriend is Chansung." He said, unfazed by his words. I clenched my fist and gritted my teeth. "This isn't funny, Woo. I miss you so much. And I came here to tell you something."

He got up from his bed then and I saw that the bulge was nothing more than a book he hid under his shirt. It was an old album and he was probably going through it before I came in. "I'm really sorry...uh...what's your name again? But I don't remember ever meeting you."

I wanted to shake him then, to tell him to stop all this nonsense. It didn't help driving all the way to Busan just to hear your lover playing a joke on you. I was expectd back at the office tomorrow and I needed Wooyoung to know that. "Woo...this is not funny anymore."

He stared at me with puzzled eyes, as if he didn't understand where this conversation was bringing him. Mama Jang came in seconds later. She looked at me, and I looked at her. Then she glanced at her son before her eyes returned to me. "Did my daughter let you in? Honestly, I told her I wanted to talk to you first."

Suddenly she pulled on my coat and dragged me out of the room. "Taec, I need to tell you something."

I realized then that this was not a joke.

She said it was depression. It got so bad to the point that my Woobaby suffered hyperventilation because of it "The first week he came back was fine. He told me he missed me and I honestly believed that. He also said you were getting busier at work, so he didn't want to bother you. I would have done the same in his position. You provided his needs and paid his school fees. And in return, he didn't mind giving you some time off to complete your work."

Was I so immersed in my own world that I had completely forgotten about my lover? Yes. Yes, I have.

"The second week was fine at first, but then he started complaning about exam stress. And he didn't know who to ask. He said you were always helping him with his studies but since you got so busy, he was on his own."

I had forgotten about his studies too. Guilt began to grow in my heart and it was expanding slowly.

"I told him to stay another week if it helps. It's very peaceful here, free from any stress the city would have offered. He agreed, but he said he misses you badly. I told him to talk to you on the phone, but after the first call, I saw him moping around the house like a zombie. He was gardening at midnight!" Mama Jang shook her head in disbelief. I wouldn't have believed her either but after seeing him that way......the guilt expanded some more.

"Did he tell you why?"

She began imitating him. "Eomma...he's busy again so I couldn't talk to him much. Eomma...he forgot to tell me he loves me. Eomma....he hung up on me! Eomma....how come he's not answering my phone?! Eomma...please call him for me. I want to talk to him. Eomma...don't he love me anymore? Eomma....I can't breathe...."

She lowered her voice at the end. "That was the day we rushed him to the hospital. He refused to talk to anyone. Even the doctors. I saw how distant his eyes were when the doctors asked him questions. That was when they diagnosed him with depression. The first time he hyperventilated was minor. He was discharged the next day and the doctors gave him pills for his depression. But then he went into a panic attack once more when you turned off your phone. He started worrying about you. The second time he hyperventilated...he became unconcious."

I struggled to breathe. All this was too much for me. I didn't realize my baby was suffering so much because of me. My chest felt constricted and at the same time, there was the gut-twisting guilt in my stomach.

"When he woke up, I was surprised to see him smiling for the first time in weeks. I thought something was wrong again. And then he suddenly called out Chansung's name and I knew then what the problem was. You know who Chansung is, right?"

I nodded my head, feeling sick. Chansung was the guy who left my baby for another man five years ago. Wooyoung didn't despise him, but they had been together for seven years. Wooyoung's first crush, first love...first of everything. So for Chansung to suddenly walk out without a single word, it broke my baby's heart into pieces. I swore to take care of Woo since then.

"I asked him if he knew Taec. And he just shook his head without any moment of hesitation. I quickly called the doctor and he said he's not sure if this is temporary or permanent. But at the very least, he won't be hyperventilating anymore. It might damage his heart. I feel bad for not telling you sooner, but you were so busy, just as he said."

I realized why she was so persistent of me seeing him few days back. "Could I bring his memories back if I stay here with him for a while?"

She shrugged her shoulders. "I'm not sure, my dear, I'm really not sure. But I don't want you to give up on him yet. He's the happiest around you."

I first found out of Woo's ice cream obsession five years back. We were staying together in a dorm that time. I was in my final year and he had just started as a freshman. We met during a fire emergency exercise. Stupid exercise, really. The university treated their students like high school kids. But I needed the fresh air, so I just went along with it.

I rushed down the emergency staircase on the second block, alongside other eager students. Most of them were new faces. Some I had known for a year---sophomore---but never really bothered to interact. The senior students were just chilling out behind the large group, coming down at their own speed.

Somewhere near the exit at the ground floor, I heard someone yell. There was Wooyoung, getting shoved against the wall by this large kid who was extorting him for lunch money. Smart , really. He used this moment of fake emergency to find trouble. Wooyoung, who was new to all this, had reached into his pocket and fished out his wallet in a frenzy. The fat kid returned a satisfied smirk before bailing out through the only exit. No one bothered to help the sad-looking boy now sobbing on the floor.

I walked past without any remorse. I didn't know him. So naturally I didn't care.

Days went by since I saw the boy. Had he given up on this place? Most likely. New faces don't last long, unless you knew how to socialize. And new faces that weren't even worth a glance would probably disappear off the face of this place altogether. Class ended without a hitch, and I was making my way to the cafeteria. 

Wooyoung was sitting alone, far from the noisy environment around him. I grabbed some sandwiches for myself and thought how convenient it was for him to sit there all alone. I wished I came in earlier. That way I don't have to share a table too. I made my way to another table and sat with some sophomores. They didn't talk to me. Good. I guess that came as a price of being senior.

As I bit into my sandwich, I saw the same fat kid again, slowly making his way to Wooyoung's table. My feet acted first, and before I could blink, the kid was already hanging in the air, meeting my face. "Pick someone your own size, buddy."

"Dude, who the hell---"

I tossed him aside like he weighted nothing, and he scrambled to his feet. After sending a firm glare to his direction, he quickly ran off, and never appeared again.

"Thank you." A soft voice thanked me. I looked down and found the boy staring at me with a wide smile on his face. He offered me something too. An ice cream. "I'm Jang Wooyoung. And you can call me Woo." He introduced himself, as I accepted the ice cream and ate without thinking. That was how we became friends.

But it took him a week or so before I was aware of him enough to tell him my name. 

As much as it hurt me, I had to see him. I knocked on the door softly and he opened it seconds later. "Oh, it's you again." He said, annoyed.

"Yeah, it's me. Guess what? I'm staying here until you remember me."

To be honest, I gave myself ten days. I hoped his memories would return by then. I have a court appointment for the Vaughlia case in two weeks. That was ample time for me to set my head straight and get all this sorted out. He became more annoyed when I announced my stay. "Dude, look, I don't even know you. You can't just barge in here and pretend you know me."

"Well, let's get started then. I'm Ok Taecyeon. Don't bother introducing yourself. You're Wooyoung, Jang is your surname, ice cream is your favourite food and yellow is the colour you hate. You can't cook well---" He glared at me when I mentioned this. I forgot he was sensitive about his cooking. "Your compassion level for chicken surpasses your love for me. Don't take offense on that. I should be offended. And you are a natural dancer, whereas I am not. Penguins dance better than me. I think that about sums up this introduction."

He slammed the door at my face.

Dinner wasn't any easier. He kept glaring at me while I forked some food onto my plate and chatted casually with his mom. His sister wasn't sure whose side she was on, and finally decided to side with me, mainly because I made the atmosphere lighter than it seems. I wanted to feed him his favourite food, but the glare simply intensified. He won't even answer anything I asked him.

In the end, I just gave up talking to him. He was being a brat, really. Nothing wrong about getting to know a stranger, isn't it? And I wasn't that much of a stranger anyway. Both his mum and sister adored me.

After dinner, we sat in the living room and watched some movies. I casually reached for the remote and switched on his favourite channel. "Hey, what was that for?!" He yelled back.

"You like watching documentaries." I pointed out. From the corner of my eyes, I could see a smile on Mama Jang's face.

"I want to watch cartoons." He pouted. Oh, how I wish I could pinch his cheeks.

"No, you don't." I said, hiding the remote. This seemed to infuriate him. He suddenly got up from the couch and stalked back to his room. I heard him yell, "Control your own man, noona!" before slamming the door shut.

I couldn't help but weep out silently after that.

Khunnie called me that night and I told him everything. "It must be hard for you." He said sympathetically over the phone. I knew it wasn't a pretense. But I wished he was here to give me a hug right now. "Everything will be ok, pal. You can win him back."

"I don't know how."

"Look, it's not even a day yet and you're already whining like a kid. Make him fall in love with you again, if he can't regain his memories. If you managed to do it once, you can do it twice. I'll take care of everything here for you. Don't worry."

I wasn't particularly worried about work. I brought most of my work along. And Mama Jang agreed to supply my daily dose of coffee. But coffee won't ease the fear inside me. What if the memories never come back? What then? What happens to the love we built for the last five years?

"Dear..." Mama Jang's voice suddenly called out. I turned to face her. "It's getting cold outside." She tightened the shawl around her and looked at me with worried eyes. "Come inside and get some sleep."

"Ok, ahjummah."

"Don't call me ahjummah for the next two weeks. It might help get him closer if you call me eomma." She was trying to console me, I realized. And I accepted it with an open heart. "Thank you...eomma."

Morning drew in faster than I expected. I was up and ready for the day, but my feet felt dragged. Would something bad happen today? I tried not to think too much about it. After changing into a pair of comfortable sweatpants and a black tank top, I made my way to the kitchen and found Wooyoung standing by the sink.

He was taking his medication.

"Good morning, baby." I greeted him.

He turned to me sharply and snapped, "Don't call me that. I have a name."

Another bad move there, Ok Taecyeon. I had to watch where I thread. "Sorry. Good morning, Woo."

He didn't bother to greet me back. After storing away his pills (a tremendous amount of it I saw), he disappeared into the living room. Mama Jang came in and made me some breakfast. "Eomma, could I use the study room today? I have some paperwork to finish, due in two days."

"How are you planning to send them over?"

"Email. Post. I'll find a way." I told her. "Oh yeah, what does Wooyoung do here when he's bored?"

"You can find him in the garden."

PART 3:

Flower beds of assorted colours and types lined the stone path leading me to my lover. He was sitting on a swing, a makeshift swing he once told me about. It hung from a large tree in the middle of the garden, with ropes so thick it could withstand an elephant.

Ok, that was an exaggeration. Maybe something lighter than that. I remembered he told me once about this.

"Hyung, do you want to know a secret? I hid it so well that Chansung doesn't even know."

That caught my attention. What was so special that he couldn't even share it with his ex-boyfriend in the past? "Tell me please."

He searched around for any signs of life first. We were sitting somewhere in campus, having our lunch, The coast was clear. I was starting to get really impatient to know what this secret was.

"I have a swing at home." He finally admitted, looking totally adorable with that chirpy smile of his.  "My dad made it for me when I was three. He attached a really strong rope on this large tree outside my house and told me to take good care of it. I usuallly hang around it when I was feeling happy or moody. I used to believe a fairy lived there after my dad completed it, so whenever I needed someone to talk to, I would play on the swing and the fairy would come and talk to me."

I didn't know what to say. Was that him being borderline funny or borderline crazy?

I only found out later that day that he wasn't any of the things I thought. It was Wooyoung, pure and innocent. And I couldn't help falling for him a little more each day.

As I approached the swing set, I heard him muttering to himself. Was there really a fairy? I saw nothing of course. And because I didn't want to think he was crazy, I assumed it was just his imagination running wild. "Wooyoung ah..." I called out softly. He turned to me sharply and shot me a glare.

"What are you doing here? And aren't you supposed to be leaving? It's not good for a guy to stay at his girlfriend's house."

"I'm not your noona's boyfriend." I sighed, wondering when he had gotten so stubborn. "I'm yours and yours only. Don't you ever forget that." I could feel the piercing intensity from his eyes as I said this.

"Just get away from me, will you? You're starting to creep me out." He said, before turning away from me. I didn't want our conversation to end bitterly so I changed the subject. "Is the fairy still here?"

He faced me once more, this time with shock masking his expression. "How did you know that? Chansung doesn't even know."

I didn't answer his question. Instead, I sat down on the ground in front of him and enjoyed the peaceful snecery around us. "Your dad left a great gift for you before he passed away. And I see you took care of it." I said with a smile. He only stared at me with his eyes wide open. We sat in silence for a while, and then I heard him ask, "Who are you?"

"Your toothfairy." Oh , that came out randomly. I didn't mean to make fun of him. Way to go, Ok Taecyeon. You've made a fool out of yourself. I waited for the blow to come. There was a blank expression on his face so I couldn't read his emotions and then all the sudden, the sweetest sound I haven't heard in months escaped his mouth.

Wooyoung was laughing at my lame joke, with his eyes shut tight  and a hand gripping his tummy. I wanted to kiss him so badly then, and I did, tilting my body slightly until I was just inches away from his face. His sweet after-shower smell danced on my nose, and I remembered the first night we shared in bed. Tears streamed down my cheeks a split second later as I claimed his lips against mine in a gentle brush.

He broke the kiss first, as I expected. And then abruptly got up from the swing before leaving me there by myself. I brushed my tears away with my hand. Woo...how much longer will you punish me like this?  

I spent the rest of my evening in the study room, hoping to get all my job done before tomorrow. All I wanted right now was to spend more time with Wooyoung, to fill in all those weeks I ignored him. I stretched back lazily on the chair and thought about how engrossed I was with my job the last few weeks, even to the point of being okay with leaving Wooyoung. I couldn't believe I almost planned to break up with him two days back. Now with him here by my sight, in a state I knew was my fault to begin with, I began to doubt myself.

What monster had I turned into?

There was a soft knock on the door and when I turned my chair, Wooyoung's noona entered. "Hey, thought you would be thirsty." She said with a smile. I accepted the lemonade in her hands gratefully, and she asked me about my work. I only told her what I thought she needed to know. And she seemed content at the end. After leaving the study room quietly, I set my mind back to the workload before me. Someone entered the room behind me then, and I thought it was Wooyoung's sister again.

When I turned my chair once more, I was surprised to see Wooyoung. "Hey sweetie, what's wrong?" I asked him. He fidgeted a little, trying to avoid meeting my eyes but I knew he wanted something. It didn't take long for me to figure it out though. Wooyoung had a problem of falling asleep without feeling warmth beside him. He told me about this a long time ago.

Four years back, I was woken up in the middle of the night by a loud knock on the door. I groaned against my pillow, wondering who it was. When I finally got up to open the door, Wooyoung stood before me with bloodshot eyes. I panicked for a moment. "Woo, what's wrong?!"

"My roommate left for Ilsan this morning, and he won't be back until this weekend. I....can't sleep."

"Try to sleep then. Im sure the silence won't be so bad after that." I told him. Most people were afraid of the dark, and I genuinely thought that was his problem. When he shook his head, my next assumption was his fear of being alone. "Do you want to sleep here then?" I suggested. He tilted his head up at me with hopeful eyes. I wanted to kiss him right there and then. But I stopped myself, reminding my head it was 2am in the morning. I stepped aside after that and he practically skipped into my room.

I told him he could sleep on the couch, but instead of being grateful, he looked worried. "You mean I'm not sleeping with you." I almost fainted at those words. What the hell did he mean by that? Why would he want to sleep with me?

"Hell no. We're guys! You can take the couch. I'm right here anyway." I said, pointing the distance between my bed and the couch. It was so close we could practically hear each other's breathing. I went back to bed then and I let him handle whatever problems he had by himself. But ten minutes into my slumber, I suddenly felt something warm pressed up against my back. I shot awake in an instant, "Yah! Get back to the couch."

"I can't hyung...." He muttered weakly. "I can't sleep without feeling a warm body beside me. I'm scared to wake up alone. I promise you nothing will happen. We''re just sleeping." He tried to convince me.

I was only sorry for him back then. But now I knew how dependant he was on me. The fear was genuine, and it once tore him to his core. He missed sleep for three days straight while I was off jollying at a friend's house without telling him. When I got home, I found him sprawled in the middle of the living room, his face was as white as a sheet and he didn't seem to be breathing. I called the ambulance immediately and after the doctors checked him, I confirmed such a fear existed.

Ever since then, I promised to stay next to him the whole time.

Looking at his embarrassed expression right now brought me back to those days. "My mother shooed me out of her room, and she did that on purpose. My sis ignored me too, and I'm too embarrassed to ask you this."

I was glad he came to me. I opened my arms then and told him to sit on my lap. He looked surprised. "You don't even know what I wanted to ask you yet."

"I don't need to ask. And there's no need to feel embarrassed about it." I said. "Come and sit on my lap right now. I promise you will sleep well. I won't try anything funny"

He awkwardly did as he was told, sitting down on my lap hesitantly. I assured him once more that nothing outside the ordinary will happen. And he gradually relaxed into my arms, resting his head against my shoulder. To make him sleep better, I rocked my legs lightly, remembering how he used to enjoy this simple gesture. Before he drifted off to sleep, I saw the tiny smile on his face. And I automatically placed a kiss on his forehead.

Before I knew it, a week had passed. There were still no signs of recovery. I was still a stranger, but he opened up to me a little each day. We took a walk at the park nearby and enjoyed talking to each other. He also became a little more eager to know me better, but I couldn't help feeling annoyed at his constant habit of comparing me to Chansung.

"Forget about him for a second, Woo. I'm tired of you comparing me to him" I told him straightforwardly, not meaning to sound angry, but he took it as an offence. His expression became dark, and the smile on his face was instantly replaced with a frown.

"It's my life. If I want to talk about him, then I will."

I flinched at those words. "You seemed to forget that I'm your lover." I said bitterly. 

"I can't forget what I don't even remember." He snapped back.

"If you try harder to remember, maybe it'll come back." I was losing it. My patience. All this while it had been hanging on a thin rope, waiting to break. I didn't want to wait years for his memories to return. I had a court case in two weeks. And I needed him to know where I would be going afterwards. I couldn't just leave without telling him anything.

"You don't control my life, hyung. I don't know why I ended up forgetting you of all people, but seeing how busy you are with your life, this should have lifted off most of your burden. Can't you just accept it and live a carefree life from now on? No one will be there to interrupt you. And I won't be upset about it."

It was a direct stab to my heart. I gaped at him like a fish out of water. Was he suggesting that we....break up?

"Woo, I can't..." I said, my voice wavering. I couldn't imagine a life without him. It was bleak, empty and cold. Waking up to an empty bed, eating cold breakfast, not being able to share what I experienced that day, and worst of all, coming home to a silent and empty apartment. It wouldn't feel like home. "Please don't tell me to leave you."

"I'm just giving you an option. But to be honest, I don't like seeing this side of you. I prefer when you smile. And since my lack of memory seems to bring more sadness than joy, I thought it would be best for you."

I couldn't not love him then. Even in such a situation, even when I was still very much of a stranger to him, he still thought about what was best for me. "I won't give up, Woo. And you can't make me." I said. "I would rather kill myself than lose you forever."

He shrugged his shoulder and quietly walked away, leaving me to contemplate on what I said.

The very next day, the Jang family had an unexpected visit from a guest I didn't want to see. 

"Ahjummah, how are you?" He greeted at the door, with a large smile plastered on his face as if whatever happened in the past had never happened. She looked hesitant for a moment before allowing him in. Chansung had been really good to Wooyoung before he suddenly left for another person. So Mama Jang couldn't bring it in her heart to slam the door shut on the boy.

"What brings you here all the sudden, Chansung?" She asked him, eyeing her son's room to see if it was open. But it remained closed, and she sighed in relief.

She didn't notice me though. I was standing in the living room, staring at the large guy with shock. What the hell did he want by coming here? Wooyoung had not talked to him for five years. And suddenly he could just barge in as if he owned the whole damn place. Needless to say, I was furious.

When he saw me, a smile formed on his face. I approached him cautiously, keeping my guard up. "What did you come?"

"Don't be harsh, Taec. I came to see Woo. He called me here."

I wanted to believe it was a lie, but I couldn't deny how shattered my heart was after hearing that. "You're lying. He hasn't talked to you for five years."

He shrugged his shoulders and then whipped out his phone. "My call logs stated otherwise." He was flashing the calls at me, and I saw it, bright as day. Wooyoung's name was the first on his list. Just looking at it made my blood boil. Why was he suddenly calling this bastard?

As if on cue, my lover came out from his room just as I was about to confront him. He was all spruced up, looking quite handsome in a pair of tight black jeans and a white shirt, with a leather jacket to complete the look. His hair was gelled neatly to the back and he looked like he was about to go out on a date. When he saw Chansung, a warm smile formed on his face.

"Hey Channie."

"Hey baby. Ready to go?"

I was frozen in my spot. I didn't know what was going on, and I didn't want to know honestly. Why did he call Chansung? Why were they going out again? What the hell was going on?!

"Woo, what's going on?" I asked my lover.

"We're hanging out today." He said. No more, no less. I wanted to stop him from stepping out that door. But I didn't want him to think I was forceful. I was always the gentle party in our five-year long relationship. They went out without saying goodbye, and Mama Jang peered over at me with worried eyes. I didn't know how to comfort her. Heck, I was in a trainwreck myself.

Without saying a word to her, I quickly grabbed my coat and car keys. In a matter of seconds, I was following behind them quietly, watching their every moves from afar. Deep down inside, pieces of my heart had started to crumble.

Days passed as I watched from the side. I became more of a stranger than an acquintance each day, and we no longer spent time together. I purposely woke up early to finish off whatever work I had, but even that wasn't enough time. By the time I stepped out from the study room, Woo was already walking out the front door. I said nothing to Mama Jang and Wooyoung's sister. All I did was follow him.

It didn't matter if I missed breakfast or needed to use the bathroom desperately. It didn't matter if I lacked sleep after staying up all night doing paperwork. I kept my eyes fixed on him and the things he did. How he smiled at Chansung, the way his body brushed up against the larger guy whenever he found me staring at him, the way he smiled wickedly at something the other said...he knew it did things to me, but he didn't know how adamant I was.

I watched him closely, but I kept a safe distance. Seeing him smile, enjoying himself to the fullest made me happy, eventhough he wasn't sharing that happiness with me. I stopped blaming myself a week ago, but I still felt the need to protect him. I still love him, even if it took every ounce of energy not to dump Chansung into a trashcan somewhere.

I still love him very much.

I didn't remember how bad the pain was. Flashes of white lights blinded me everytime I tried opening my eyes. And for some odd reason, I couldn't move my body. I couldn't feel my arms and legs. It felt like I was detached into two. Or maybe it was just my head, because it was hurting as hell. I saw glimpses of a familiar face looking down at me with dark concerned eyes.

"It's ok....Taec...hey, if you can hear me.....I'll be here..." His voice trailing off. I was too tired to hear the rest of it.

For a moment, all I could think about was...

Wooyoung.

Was that him, yelling out my name frantically next to my ear? Was it him who whispered sweet things into my ear, telling me that he'll be there when I wake up? Was it his hand firmly placed on my own? I wanted to call out to him, but no voice came out.

"You cannot come beyond this door, sir." A female voice spoke out. I presumed it was a nurse.

Suddenly the hand was gone. The familiar voice disappeared too. I felt needles prickling my arms. Ah, so my arms were still intact after all. "Anesthesia injected." Someone said. "Check his heartbeat." Another person ordered.

I listened to the buzzing activites surrounding me for a moment, and eventually, my eyelids felt heavy. Soon, my whole world fell into a void of pitch-black darkness. I didn't know how long I stayed in this limbo, but I really wanted to see Wooyoung again.

When I opened my eyes, it was three days later. My head was all fuzzy and I tried to sit up on my bed. Well, at least my suspicion was confirmed. I was really in a hospital. The question now was how I came to be in it.

"Good morning, sunshine." A voice greeted me. I turned my head slightly and found Nichkhun sitting on an armchair near my bed. He looked relieved to see me awake.

"What happened?" I asked, my voice a little hoarse.

He got up from the armchair and sat next to me. "Does it hurt anywhere, Taec?" He asked, concerned.

"A little. My head is all fuzzy and there's two of you." I told him. One image of him was clear but the other was a blur.

That made him even more worried. "I'm ringing for the doctor." He pressed a button above my bed and two minutes later, a nurse walked in. "He's awake." Nichkhun said.

"I'll go get the doctor." She said, and promptly walked out.

A series of tests were done on me after that. I was given more needles and some medication, and the morphine basically pulled me back into limbo. I didn't know how long I slept, but when I woke up, Nichkhun was still there, smiling brightly at me, as if he could tell I was waking up. "The sun is down, but I could still call you sunshine."

I groaned at his remark and sat up on my bed. "How long was I out?"

"Ten hours." He said.

"Ten hours?! Were you here the whole time?" I asked him. He nodded his head slowly and then came over to press the button above my bed. The same nurse entered the room two minutes later. She took one look at me and then walked out to call the doctor.

I used this free time I had to ask Nichkhun what happened again. He stared at me with sad eyes for a moment and then shifted uncomfortable next to me. "Taec, it's best the doctor tell you what's going on first." He said, looking away.

"It's good to see awake, Mr Ok." The doctor suddenly appeared, with a smile on his face.

"Good evening, doctor." I greeted back. He checked my temperature and did some other tests while Nichkhun stood at the side quietly. Was he hiding something? "How am I, doc?" I asked the doctor once he was done.

He peered over at me and glanced at Nichkhun. The Thai didn't move. He stood at the side and spaced out. "I guess your friend hasn't told you. Well, I might as well be the one to convey you the bad news." He said, with a serious face.

"Mr Ok, your days are numbered."

I couldn't believe my ears. Just two days ago, I was walking freely down some street in Busan, watching over my lover secretly, and now I only had days left to live. It was an internal injury in my head, a clot that could not be removed. It was only so lucky I was alive after that freak accident, yet the clot was so substantial for it to be completely removed. "If we perform the surgery, you would have died instantly. The most we can do now is to hold back the pain with medicine. But your chances of survival is below 10%."

Nichkhun's body was trembling now. He pretended to think I couldn't see him but I saw the tears dripping from his face. He probably bit his lips to muffle out his sobs.

"Khun..." I called out.

The doctor and his nurses left the room, leaving only me and him now. He made no attempts to approach me and just stood there, crying silently.

"If you don't come here, I'm getting up."

His tear-stained face tilted up and I saw how sad he was. Without another word from me, he quickly came over to my side and hugged me tightly. "I shouldn't have let you go. I should have stopped you when you said you were going to Busan." He said, tickling my neck with his breath and wetting my shirt with his tears. 

I patted his back gently. "I don't regret it. I would have gone to Busan anyway, even if you stopped me. You know how I am." I said.

He released his arms and stared at me seriously for a moment. "I guess so...you were always the stubborn ."

I chuckled at those words. "Anyway, where's Woo?"

He didn't reply straight away. But I knew the answer already; knew it long before he even said anything. "Taec, Woo never came. I was the only one who stayed next to you the whole time."

I told the doctor I was all well the next morning. But truthfully I wasn't. My head had been pounding non-stop the whole night, but I willed myself to think positive. The doctor was a little skeptical at first, but after convincing him that I had things to do before my last day on Earth, he allowed me to go.

"But come back here immediately if you start feeling dizzy again." He warned me. I nodded my head and immediately got out of bed. Nichkhun said he wasn't visiting that day, which was good, because I didn't want him to turn up and find me missing anyway. I told him I was being discharged that day and the first thing he asked was, "You're going to see Woo again, aren't you?"

"What else could I do?"

He sighed into the phone. "Well, I can't stop you anyway. Just be careful Taec. And call me if you need anything."

I promised him to do just that.

When I rang the doorbell to Wooyoung's house that afternoon, Mama Jang was the first to greet me. She saw the bruises on my face and gasped quite dramatically. "Oh dear god, what happened to you, Taec? You didn't come back for four days and suddenly there're bruises all over you." She turned me around and saw me cringe at the sudden action.

My legs weren't broken, but I was limping. The doctor said the accident stretched some muscles on both my legs. So it might take a few days to heal. She immediately released her grip and stared worriedly at me. "Come in dear. I'll prepare you something to eat." She said.

I followed in after her and found my lover in the living room. He took one glance at me before turning his attention back to the TV. His sister, however, wasn't so cold. She came over to me instantly, asking me where I had gone and why I was bruising all over. "Here and there." I replied. All these questions were not making me feel any better. I told her I needed to sit down and carefully limped to the couch. 

"Omo, what happened to your legs? Why are you limping?" She asked again. I shot her a small smile and took a seat. "It's nothing, Junhwa noona. I fell somewhere and twisted my ankle.  But I'm fine."

I did notice the way Wooyoung's body tensed when I told her that. She nodded her head and then walked off to help her mum at the kitchen. Finally, some time alone with my lover. "It's nice to see you again, Woo."

He mumbled something unintelligible. I wished I heard what he said, but my head was throbbing again. I closed my eyes for a moment and thought about all the beautiful moments I used to share with him. When I opened my eyes again, he was staring at me with an unreadable expression. "What happened to you?"

I shook my head then, unable to tell him my condition. But I was glad he asked. "Are you worried?"

"Maybe. You're not exactly a stranger. But I'm not too worried. Because I don't consider you a friend either. I thought you took my words and left for good."

"I promised I won't go anywhere."

As soon as I said this, I realized I was about to break it anytime soon. But I just couldn't bring myself to admit that.

Chansung didn't come back. And Wooyoung was too depressed to do anything. His sister told me everything, how Chansung suddenly stood up on my lover two days ago and refused to answer any calls after that. She told me how upset he was and trudged around the house for two days, looking like a zombie. I wanted to punch the life out of Chansung if I could find him.

Wooyoung was going through the whole cycle again; the same cycle I found him in five years back. This time I didn't have five years to cheer him up. I only had a week left, maybe less. And I wanted to see him smile.

For the whole one week, I devoted my life and soul to him. All calls were ignored, except Nichkhun's. All the things I wanted to say to whoever I cared about, I told them through the phone. There was no way I could leave Wooyoung's side, not in remaining days I had left. My condition got worser by the day and on the fourth day, Mama Jang finally suspected something. My legs had healed by then, but my headaches became worser than before. I would suddenly drop on my knees and spaced out for a long time. It was the vertigo I experienced. No matter how much water I drank or how good Mama Jang's food was, my head couldn't be cured.

She came to my room one night and confronted me on it. "Tell me everything and don't spare me the details." She demanded, her tone serious.

I told her everything then, because she was as close to a mother as I could get. My own parents were never around, and I don't think they would even spare a glance if they knew I was dying. They were too busy making money for the companies they managed worldwide. By the end of my long-winding explanation, Mama Jang had tears in her eyes. She held on to me like she would of her children and she hummed comforting songs into my ears.

I cried too, glad to feel some sort of comfort from her. We stayed this way for a while, and when I was finally asleep, she tugged me into bed and turned off the lamp. She gave me a kiss on my forehead, and whispered a soft good night into my ear.

I slept peacefully that night.

Waking up with a throbbing headache was nothing short to the fear I experienced inside me. I was dying; the reality of it slowly sinked in and eventually it made me feel really nervous. Was this how old people usually feel on their death bed? I sat down in the Jang's study room that morning and wrote out a letter for Wooyoung. Then I sealed it in an envelope, along with a set of keys to our long-forgotten apartment in Seoul. I thought he might want to take back some stuff there. I also included a letter transfering ownership to the house in Wooyoung's name. It was the least I could give, next best thing to the love I still held for him.

Once that was done, I passed the letter over to Mama Jang, telling her to keep it until the time comes. She eyed me worriedly, brushing her hand against my face to see if I was in pain. I took her wrist and smiled back warmly at her. "I'm fine, eomma. I'm fine."

"I can't believe I'm about to lose another son." She muttered softly. "I don't think I can take another loss."

"I'll still be watching over the family from up there."

She wrenched her hands away and turned around. "Stop saying things like that. Go have your breakfast."

I guess I said too much. I turne around and grabbed my bowl of porridge. Wooyoung was waiting for me in the garden when I was done with breakfast. He was sitting on the swing when he saw me, and he waved for me to come over.

"What are you doing here?" I asked him.

"I'm asking the fairy for advice." He said with a smile.

"What did she say then?"

"She said I should move on." He remarked. "She said I deserved better."

It wasn't his crazy side talking. This was just his way to tell himself everything would be fine. We spent the rest of the day together, and he seemed to cling on me a lot. Soon he started asking me questions about the days we spent as lovers. I was shocked to hear, to be honest. I thought he would never ask. Talking to him managed to distract me from my headaches, but by nightfall, it got worst.

Mama Jang called for Junhwa and the whole household, including Wooyoung, quickly rushed me to the hospital. The same doctor explained the whole process to them again, and Wooyoung was eerily silent the whole time. He didn't even look at me as I laid there helplessly on the hospital bed. I succumbed to the morphines again.

And I think I never woke up after that. How odd it was to die. I felt nothing. There was only darkness, and then there was light.

Otherwise, I felt nothing.

Wooyoung's POV

When I listened to the doctor's explanation, I didn't know why it was drilling a hole in my heart. It made me angry knowing how Taec had kept this a secret from me the whole week. Why would he do that? Why would he promise something he can't keep? He said he won't be going anywhere. And then there was the accident. How come I didn't know about this until now? It was already too late by then.

Apparently, the doctors called Nichkhun because he happened to be the first number in Taec's call log. And Nickhun told me nothing, that bastard. I knew they were friends for a long time, but the Thai knew me too. He should have said something...

I stayed next to Taec the whole night, and when I woke up the next morning, my family was standing in front of his bed. I saw the doctor...and the nurses...and the way they stared at the sleeping figure on the bed without uttering a single word. My eyes then landed on the big guy and I saw how peaceful his face was.

The machine next to him had stopped beeping.

Taecyeon had passed away.

I didn't know why...but for the first time since I met him three weeks back, I cried my eyes out until I could cry no more. My whole body was numb at the end of the day. There was a large hole in my heart and I knew nothing could fill it up the same way he did.

When my mum eventually convinced me to return home, she passed me a small envelope addressed to me. "It's from him. He told me to give it to you when the time comes." She said with sad eyes.

I saw tears pooling in her eyes when she looked away. Was Taec someone so dear to her? Why?

I took the envelope and retired to my room. It was quietl. Too quiet. Sitting down on my bed, I unsealed it and looked inside. There was a set of keys and some letters. But I read the one with his handwriting first.

Dear Woo,

I'm sorry for not telling you my condition. I'm sorry for lying to you. I didn't want you to worry. No matter how much pain I go through, I know there is one medicine that would always take the pain away and make me feel better again. When I see you smile, my whole world lights up. I'm sorry for neglecting you these last few months. I was so caught up with work that I had forgotten the most important person in my life. And though you could never see me the same way again, the very least I could do is to make you happy.

Thank you so much for loving me all these years. I did not regret a single moment with you. But I'm just sad it had to end this way. You will find a set of keys inside this envelope and the address to our old apartment can be found in the other letters I included along. Those letters are proof that the house belongs to you now. I want you to move on for me after this, Jang Wooyoung. You were always so strong, and I don't want you to forget that.

Last but not least, I love you. And I will always do.

Taec.

I wept silently in my room that night. Why was he only showing all this now? The old apartment...what was inside? I cried myself to sleep that day, and for the first time in years, I didn't care that I woke up alone. Taec was gone. And I had to do one last thing for him. For myself.

I took a long shower and ate my breakfast. Then I gave Nichkhun a call. "I'm coming back to Seoul. Can you bring me to the apartment I used to stay with Taec?"

He was silent for a moment but then he replied, "Yeah sure. When will you arrive?"

"I'm taking the plane."

Few hours later, I met up with Nickhun at the airport. He was on the phone when I found him. And I waited for him to end the call first. "Hey Woo." He greeted when he saw me.

"Hey Khun." It had been such a long time since I saw him. He looked good, dressed up in a black suit with his hair gelled back like that. "Let's get going."

He drove us straight to the apartment, and when we stood in front of the unit, I hesitated for a second. Did I really want to know what lies beyond this door? Would it hurt me the same way I did when Taec left this world?

"What's wrong?" Nichkhun asked me.

"I'm scared." I muttered.

"Woo, you can't leave this place alone. It was your home. You and him. At least clean it up a bit."

I heaved a deep sigh and finally unlocked the door. The whole place smelled damp, like it had not been occupied for years. I trudged over to the living room slowly, scanning around to see if I could recall any of it.

There were photographs hanging on the wall, and some clothes scattered around the floor. I guess Taec didn't bother to clean up before he left for Busan. Papers scattered all over the coffee table. Nichkhun checked through those papers while I searched the bedroom. It wasn't as messy inside as it was outside. Photographs of me and him were all over the dressing table and his study desk. I took one of the photographs and stared at it.

It was a picture of us on the beach and I looked happy in it. In fact, happier than I had ever been with Chansung.

A familiar image suddenly flashed through my mind. It was so random and spontaneous and it caught me by surprise. It was a memory of the time we spent a night in Ulsan together and he had been so nervous to make love to me. I chuckled at that memory. But why did I suddenly remember it? I placed the photograph back in its place and searched around some more. Under the bed was an old photo album. I turned to the first page and tears welled in my eyes.

There I was, happy in his arms. The smile on my face was so wide I thought my mouth couuld just fall off. Memories started flooding my head, one at a time. And it filled me with so much sadness knowing that Taec wasn't here to share it with me anymore. "Nickhun...." I called out weakly to the guy in the living room.

He came in seconds later and found me crying on the floor.

"What's wrong, Woo?"

"I hurt him, Khun..." I said, remembering the time I spent with Chansung days back and using Chansung to get Taec off my back. If only I knew all this...god, I felt like an .

Nickhun kneeled down next to me and held me close. "It's okay, Woo. He forgave you a long time ago."

"I know..." I muttered. All the words he said these last three weeks came flooding back into my mind.

"I will never leave you, Woo....I can't....please don't ask me to leave you...."

I hurt him.

And now I had to live with it.