Hey guys thanks for reading this story (my oneshots are still in the continued stage its just I've started so many but I cant finish any -.......-") anyway comments are welcome. I dont know how long this story will be but I do know that it wont be long maybe 1 or 2 more chapters but we'll see how it goes. This is honestly not edited so I'm sorry for all the errors. This storys been on my laptop for ages (like all my poor other oneshots that need to be finished~~~) so I really do hope you like :) I will be using Taeyang’s song in this since I feel as if this would be a great song and it connects really well for I have in mind for this fic. I dont know why but I am slightly nervous for your comments (if there will be comments) for this fic so yeah O.o lol

Jiyong’s P.O.V

I look at the girl inside of the booth in front of me who’s struggling so hard to bring me the emotions needed for this song, the feeling of heartbreak and loss, knowing that she hasn’t fallen in love before so she doesn't know how bad it can get or how it feels as if your heart is trying to tear its way out of your body. I stop the music making Minzy look at me with understanding and disappointment in herself as she knows that she’s singing without the right emotions that are needed to connect with this song. I smile softly as she comes out of the recording room a frown decorated on her face, her fists clenched tightly as if to hold her self together.

“Mingkki-ah, it’s ok, I think you need a break, so go and have some fresh air then come back and we’ll start recording once again.” I say to her bowed head. I mess her hair as I get up since I probably need a break too, as we’ve been in the studio for a couple of hours now trying to record her solo song.

Minzy’s P.O.V

I stay in the studio as Jiyong walks out leaving me to think alone. I don't know how to bring the emotions needed to sing this song thats about loss or being alone or that of heartbreak. Everybody thinks that I haven’t fallen in love or that I haven’t felt what heartbreak is but I have, I just hide it better than others. I close my eyes as I remember those times of when I had loved so deeply that I didn't know how bad it would get until I fell from the sky that clouded the vision of what I had thought to be mutual love that ended up being nothing more than a game that I didn't know I was playing. As if this is the key that opens the door to the memories I had locked away a long time ago, I remember everything, the hurt, the betrayal and the voices of those who I had thought of to be my friends laughing at me and how naive I was.

I press the palm of my hands against my eyes as if to stop the flow of tears threatening to roll down my face, as if the pressure on my eyes will make the memories I don't want to feel rush back into my heart and mind, like a open gate that wont close, no matter how hard I try to forget even though all I am doing is remembering.

I remember how I left the room that held the person I had loved so deeply inside, behind me with a smile so forced where no one noticed that I was hurting inside, how once I got back to my empty dorm I had started to delete him out of my life slowly but surely as if I was not hurting deep inside. I remember how I felt when he called or texted, which always left me to fight with myself to not reply and answer his texts or calls, as if nothing happened, as if I didn't hear him laugh at how naive I was, to think he actually liked me the way I liked him, with s or label mates adding in a comment here and there, to end up laughing once again at my own expense. I remember how his calls and texts had gotten so bad that I had to change my number, since he didn't know the reason as to why I had just cut all contact with him. I remember crying alone at night, trying to muffle the cries behind a pillow as it got louder and louder, trying to hide it from my unni's who didn't know I was in a relationship, because I didn't want to tell them just yet about how in love I was. I remember feeling alone and broken as if I wouldn't be the same ever again.

I wipe away the rouge tears that had escaped as I hear Jiyong oppa come back inside the room. I straighten my back as if my mind is not replaying the memories and emotions I had tried so hard to hold back for so long as I pretend to see him sitting in front of me a worried expression on his face when I am actually seeing the one who broke my heart. 

“Minji-ah, are you ok? We can reschedule for tomorrow if your not up to it,” GD says as making me shake the memories of my mind out and away from my mind… for now.

“No, I can do it now, I’m ready,” I say as I look him in the eye hoping that the emotions I’m feeling aren’t being shown through my eyes. I get up before things get even more deeper than it needs to be, I walk towards the booth while I try to hold myself together for a bit longer before I can go and release these emotions while I’m alone, without needing to trouble those around me. 

As Jiyong starts the music I close my eyes letting myself sing with these long ignored emotions at the forefront, with the lyrics of my story being let free for the first time. Where I’m left needing and wanting someone, anyone to listen and hear me, the lonely girl who wanted to be held and reassured that she was no longer alone in this cold dark world that she had been living in for a long time now.

As I sing I remember every hug, every smile, every present and every kiss that I had ever received from him being nothing but a lie. As the music comes to an end I open my eyes to see that Jiyong is looking at me with a unreadable expression on his face, making me turn my back to him as I try to quickly wipe away the tears that had unknowingly fallen down my face as I sang. The tears that wont stop falling making me want to run and hide until I become that lonely girl once more.

“Mingkki-ah please come out so we can talk,” Jiyongs smooth voice asks making me know that he wouldn't leave me alone until I told him why I’m acting like this since he could and would see through all the lies that were forming inside my head, hence why I’ve been so distant with him.

I wipe my eyes before walking out of the studio, towards what I know will be a long night of crying and of someone listening to me and what I have to say for the first time.

I sit in front of him with my gaze directly looking at his, ignoring the fact that tears were streaming down my face. I see him look at me differently as if this is the first time he’s actually meeting me, and I think that it is kind of is our first meeting since I’m no longer the girl he doted on in our younger days.

We sit in complete silence for a few minutes, as we both wait for the other to break the tense silence and talk first. I take a deep breath before looking away from his unreadable stare, wondering how I can say whats on the tip of my tongue yet wont take the plunge and speak.

“I-I…Everyone looks at me and thinks of me as their maknae or dongsaeng who hasn’t experienced many things or many feelings that others have or what they have been through, as if I haven’t felt that invincible and powerful feeling you get when your in love, as if I don't know how it feels like to be next to the one who you love with all your might for just the sake of being near them, as if the feeling of holding their hand for the first time doesn't make your heartbeat accelerate, the butterflies in your tummy flutter even more or the worry in the back of your mind that you have while wishing that your hand doesn't go sweaty because you are so nervous. As if I haven’t felt the utter heartbreak of being so in love one minute to the next where you are left alone and crying in your room while you try to muffle your sobs so it cant be heard because your family sleep in the same house…” I stop as I realise that I had said more things than I had intended to. How is it that by the thought of someone listening to me and what I needed to say, I had opened my mouth up so easily and freely, how the words coming out of mouth so effortlessly as if I just was waiting for that one person to ask me ‘are you alright?’.

I look up to see Jiyong looking at me with first surprise and then understanding, knowing that he now understood what I hadn’t had the courage to say and had left unsaid in the quite air between us.

That night, Jiyong and I talked all the way through to the morning, or well I talked all the way till the morning as he listened quietly, with questions and interruptions here and there making the weight I unknowingly had on my shoulders be lifted away as I spoke knowing that I had taken the step towards acceptance and leaving what we had in the past.