Click on the photo to read the story ^^

Author: Totomatodeer

Reviewer: kpopulzzangforever

Date: 5/24/2014

 

FIRST IMPRESSION

How effective was the title?

The title is very simply, but it was really effective c:

Poster and BG layout? 

The BG was cute and playful it suits the story well. For the poster it was well made, it fits the story very well.

Foreword and description: Did it draw me into wanting to read more?

The foreword and description were amazing it really drew me in. I really liked how in the foreword you added the flashback.

 

STORY

How was the plot laid out?

The plot was laid out very well, I really liked how you added the flashbacks

How was the pacing of the story? Was it draggy or was it rushed through?

The pacing of the story was just right, it wasn't draggy nor rushed.

Was the characterization consistent?

The characterization was consistent you stayed with the characters and their peronalities very well.

Was the story flow fluent? Was it choppy or was it smooth?

The story flow was smooth

How did you organize your events? Was it in order or was it all over the place? 

You organized your events in order but sometimes you added flashbacks which I really liked.

How effective was the ending of each chapter? Did it leave me wanting to read more?

  The end of each really was effective I really wanted to read more .

 

MECHANICS

Grammar and Spelling? I didn't see any grammar mistakes when I was reading the story. For spelling you had some spelling errors

For example  :  In chapter 3 when it said ""HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH,I told you he didn't like you!"Tiffan said as she slapped me." you forgot a letter in Tiffany

 2. Also in chapter 3 when it said "I sadi politely " you just placed the letters in the wrong spot. There are more simply silly spelling errors but these are just a few of them.

Use of Transition Words? (It helps with the flow from paragraph to paragraph so it doesn't seem choppy)

Great use in transition words c:

 

How did I like it overall? Further Comments?

I really like the story, the title really drew me in a lot it reminded me of "Reply 1997" which is a good thing. Update soon~ <3 or re-open soon~ <3  If you are not satisfied with this review I do offer re-dos c:

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