"Oh, the Emperor was at Lady Tang's chambers for the past three nights. Do you think she would be the favour of the month?"

"No, I don't think so. I thought he was still smitten by Lady Choi."

The Empress had just walked past the two palace maids. She would have been upset with these remarks years ago but she had long gotten used to them. She just waved her hand slightly at the Chief Palace Maid and the latter quickly walked over to the two palace maids and gave them a stern warning not to gossip anymore.

The Empress had just returned to her chambers when the Crown Prince and Princess Suen came to pay respects to their mother. While the Empress may appeared cold and strict to the other palace ladies, her children and the Chief Palace Maid knew otherwise; they were with her when she was still the Crown Princess, i.e. wife to the then Crown Prince who was now the Emperor. Her children maybe too young to remember how their mother had looked then, but they could always felt her love for them, no matter how strict she was and how cold she looked.

The Empress immediately tested her son after he paid his respects to her. "What would you do if you find a hill with gold at the border between our country and our rival?" she asked. The Crown Prince replied, "I'll leave the hill as it is because it is not worth the gold to agitate our rival and to cause unnecessary tension to go to war. But, I'll also send men to watch over it to make sure that our rival is not mining it." The Empress nodded her head and she was pleased with his answers. She had always taught him to bring peace to the people and be cautious to the rivals' threats. She was glad that he remembered them.

The tea and snacks had served and the Empress chatted happily with her children to find out the progress of their learning. The Crown Prince left soon, leaving Princess Suen with their mother.

The Empress began to comb her younger daughter's hair while the Princess shared about her gardening experience with her mother. Princess Suen was fifteen this year and the Empress had married the Emperor at about this same age. She looked sadly at her daughter and hoped that the latter would not share the same fate as hers - to share her husband with others. But what other fate would a princess has. The marriage of a princess was always to trade for loyalty, peace or any other benefit. It was never for her happiness. Her own marriage was no different - it was for the Emperor to secure her father's loyalty and for her father to secure his position as the Imperial Advisor.

When Princess Suen turned around to look at the Empress, she immediately brushed aside her sadness and smiled warmly at her daughter and said, "You must be tired, my dear, after being under the sun for the whole morning with the gardening. Why don't you return to your chamber for a rest? I need to prepare for tonight's worship too."

The full round moon was shining brightly above. The Emperor was on his way to Lady Choi's chambers when he passed by the imperial garden and spotted the Empress praying. He stopped in his tracks and observed the Empress from behind the shrubs.

The Empress was kneeling and looking up at the sky. She spoke with a very sincere tone, "Thanks to the Heavens for having mercy on our people and giving us a bountiful harvest this year. I pray for the peace to continue and that there will be no war. I also pray for the good health of the Emperor and wisdom for the Crown Prince."

The Emperor thought the praying was over when he caught something glittered on the Empress' face against the moonlight. The Empress' eyes were closed and a teardrop had streamed down her cheek. She continued softly, "Please also grant me the strength to carry on."

The Emperor had arrived at Lady Choi's chambers. Lady Choi was playing the zither for him but he could not register a single note. He could not shake off the scene that he had seen. She wasn't crying but her sadness pained him. He stood up and left the chamber, leaving Lady Choi stunned.

The Empress was ready to go to bed when the Emperor arrived at her chambers. She was not prepared for his arrival. She had not dolled herself up or prepared any night snack for him as he had not came to her chambers for a very long time - so long that she could not even remember.

She immediately paid her respects when the Emperor walked into the room. He helped her stood up and held onto her arms. She quickly asked if the Emperor would like some night snacks, without looking up at him, and he just waved the palace maids away. The palace maids hurriedly left the room and closed the doors, leaving the two of them in the room.

The Empress was looking down and biting her lips. She could bring herself to meet the Emperor in the eyes for she was afraid that she may cry in front of him. How she had longed to be in his arms again.

The Emperor held her hands and them. As he rubbed her fingertips, he remembered the time when she learnt to play a tune, which he had casually mentioned, until her fingers bled. He had studied very hard as a Crown Prince and the Emperor would test him frequently. She had always played the zither to keep him company while he studied into the late nights. "These hands were rougher than before." he thought.

He then lifted up her face to make her looked into his eyes. He could see tears welling up in her eyes. He spotted the freckles and wrinkles on her once flawless and porcelain-like face. "Where was I when these started appearing on her face?" he thought again. He kissed her forehead lightly and brought her into his embrace.

She let her tears flowed freely as she buried her face into his chest. She felt so safe and warm in his arms. There was no anger, no disappointment. She just missed him so much.

Not sure how much time had passed when they finally pulled apart from each other. No word was exchanged between them. Everything was silently understood.

He knew that he could not promise her that she would be the only one and he would not make such an empty promise to her again. He had once promised her that when he had his first concubine, but he had since lost count on the number of concubines that he had. He just knew that this woman always had a special place in his heart. Not because she was his first wife, not because she was the mother of his favourite son and heir, but because she was his wife before he became the Emperor. She was always there with him and how fortunate he was.

She was not expecting any promise from him. She simply cherished this moment to know that he still cared about her and she thanked the heavens for giving her strength to carry on living with the other ladies of the palace.

Together they walked over to the windows and admired the full moon as they once had. He embraced her from her back, while she leaned back onto his chest for support. They simply enjoyed each other's company at this blissful moment.

(26.03.2007)