Hyosung sighed. Oh, how she hated this moment. It was one of the rare moments where she found herself in depression. Well, depression wasn't a new thing in entertainment business. It's like a rain in June, came without notifications, without mercy, without hesitation, and fair. It came down pouring everything under the pissing clouds, no exceptions. Leaving everyone wet, drenched and soaked to the bone. Leaving them cold and shivering.

She wrapped her arms around her, trying to get rid of her goosebumps. Of course she was familiar with depression. She even dared to bet that she knew about depression better than her fellow members understand that thing. Being a leader was a great burden. She had to lead, to set an example, to always say 'yes', to take the wheel when no one could, to cheer and cheer up, to protect, to guide and to be the last person to breakdown and cry. No, she was familiar with that kind of depression. Today, she was having another familiar depression.

She was sitting on the couch, waiting for the girls to finish their recording.

“Unni, Zinger made a mistake. We need to re-record it. Do you mind if you wait a bit?”

“Unni, I’m sorry. My tongue slipped. Those slushies made it numb. Hehehe.”

“Noona, I can tell someone to make you a hot chocolate for you while you wait. Do you want some?”

Hyosung held a thumb up to them. When they weren’t looking, she left the waiting room.

Hyosung sighed again. She was now at the rooftop, sitting on a hard concrete, trying to enjoy how the wind swayed her hairs. It was a failed try. She could not enjoy anything today. She drew her legs to her body, crossed her arms on top of her knees and rested her chin on her hands.

The thoughts attacked her out of nowhere and she couldn’t find a way to get it off from her head. She felt lost.

She felt like she didn't belong here.

She let her mind wandered to her past, to her old 'life', where everything seemed hard and harsh but warm and comfortable. She missed those days. As much as she loves TS, she couldn't help but remember. She missed her old dorm, she missed her old building company, she missed the dancing lessons and more singing lessons. She missed Five Girls and her unnis, especially Yoobin-unni and G.Na-unni. She missed being a maknae. At that time, although everything was difficult, it was really bearable because she had four people she could lean on. And she could be less worried than everyone.

Unni. Noona. Sometimes she frowned hearing those words.

She wondered whether it was very weird coincidences or some people planned it that way, but every singers here were born in 1990. Sunhwa, Jieun and Zinger. Even Yongguk and Himchan. Was that mean she really didn't belong in TS too?

She groaned. She's the only person that born in 1989. As much as she loves them, she couldn't help but feel envious once she saw them goofing around. Being with someone on your age give you a privileged to be as mature as you want or to be as childish as you want, since there's no one older or younger than you. She had no one to do that with her. She saw them having a lot of fun together, even made a group called ’90-line’. Chatting, joking, playing, pranking, singing, dancing, watching, and fooling around. She really wants to join them, but she always hit the same wall every time she did. 'Unnie' and 'noona' stopped her steps. Even Kikwang was born in 1990. Oh, how she wished she was a 90-line member too.

A warm hand covered her eyes and she found no difficulties to guess whose hand it is. Apparently, the owner of the hand demanded no response from her.

"What are you doing here, noona? It's cold." That person sat beside her.

"I’m enjoying fresh air, Himchan-ah."

"Why are you looking for fresh air when you got a fresh dongsaeng like me?"

"Aigoo, you're so cute." She pinched his cheek.

"You're hands are cold. You must be here long enough.” She didn’t respond him.

“What’s wrong, noona?”

“Maybe I am wrong. You are quite mature for your age.”

“You should stop thinking unnecessary thoughts. You’ll get old faster if you do.”

“Everyone gets older, Himchan.”

‘Not you. You can be thirty and people still think that I’m your oppa.”

“Well, I have no complaint with that.” She joked.

“You will always be my noona. My only noona with a face of a highschooler.” He wrapped an arm around her shoulders.

“Thanks, Himchan-ah. I feel better now.” She smiled, patting the hand on her shoulder.

“That’s good. Now, come on, noona, let's get you to a warmer place."

He took her arm and led them inside.

They were walking side by side when they met Yongguk.

"Yo, guys. Have you had lunch? I’m starving.”

“No. We’re on our way to the cafeteria. Want to join us?”

“Of course. Actually, the girls were already waiting downstairs. And now they call me. Okay, I think I’ll go now. Sunhwa can be very scary when she’s upset. Meet you there then.” And Himchan left.

“Hyosung-ah, what’s wrong?”

When everything’s felt wrong, she glad that he didn’t call her noona. She thanked God for making Yongguk joined TS.

“Everything’s wrong.”

“Aww, that must be . Is there anything I can do to make you feel better?”

“Don’t worry, Yongguk-ah. I believe this will over soon.”

“Okay. Do you know I like you better when you smile?”

“Do you mean you don’t like me now?”

“Eh? That’s not what I mean. Of course I like you. But it’s better for you to smile. And I like you whatever you do. I like you when you scrunched your nose, when you pout, when—” She cut him with a laugh.

“I know what you mean Yongguk-ah.” She laughed some more. “Thank you.”

He grinned. “Anything for you. Now, let’s get to lunch. I feel like I can gobble down anything.” He grabbed her hand and let them to the elevator.

They reached the cafeteria.

“Unni, let’s eat! You promised to treat me lunch to day!”

“Noona, Sunhwa keep pinching me. Please tell her to stop.”

“Unni, they say they have your favorite naengmyun!”

“Unni, let’s take some selcas first. Your hair looks amazing. Do you go fixing your hair while we re-recording?”

And somehow, she did not frowned hearing those words again. Somehow she didn’t hate this moment anymore. Because in TS, there’s only one unnie and one noona. They couldn’t mistake her for anybody. She smiled. Yes, she belongs here.

Sorry, I just HAVE to mention KiSung here XD and I made all that up. Never really know about TS or Himchan or Yongguk.