The ball landed on the ground again, hopped a few times before a little boy ran towards it and kicked it to another boy. As one of the boys landed a goal the field was filled with loud cheers from the others, they laughed and jumped in joy. Placing a goal is something special; it makes your heart race and filled you with joy. A simple thing which caused pure happiness.

“Oh, Hoseok you such a good striker!”, one of the guys shouted – he had a short haircut, big eyes which were light brown and he had long arms. The boy who named Hoseok giggled at his words – he had a large face, short hair and a big grin on his face.

Playing soccer with his friends in the kindergarten was one of Hoseoks favorite’s things. He had no problem with anyone and he also liked everyone.

The girls from their kindergarten group were at the sandbox and bake some cakes out of sand. Hoseok couldn’t understand this – when you can’t eat the cake, why should you bake it then? Girls are a big mystery for him even thought he had an older sister. He can’t remember that she once baked a sand cake.

“Ah, let’s continue, we must beat them”, a boy from the other team shouted and the others joined him. Hoseok wanted to follow them and continue the game when he noticed someone alone on a bench. A small boy with fluffy black hair who looked down on his shoes and seemed to be in his own world. He was the only boy who didn’t play soccer with the others. Hoseok also never have seen him playing soccer. Or at least noticed him – was he a new kid in their kindergarten group?

“Ah, there is another boy, let’s invite him to play with us”, Hoseok said to the other but they stopped him. “Uh, this is the weird kid”, one other boy said and shook his head “Don’t talk to him”. Hoseok blinked a bit “Why shouldn’t I?”. “He’s strange… he doesn’t talk to everyone… I bet he’s mute”, the boy said and kicked the ball towards another boy “Let’s continue!”.

Hoseok looked again at the boy on the bench before he turned around and joined his friends again.

We are young and we don't care

When the children went back inside the house of the kindergarten to eat lunch the pale boy slowly crawled from the bench. He dusted of his clothing before he slowly walked on the field. No one was there anymore, he was all alone. Like he used to be.

With his small hands he grabbed the ball which the other boys had left when they had rushed inside for the food. Maybe now he could play a bit on his own, since no one wanted to play with him. He noticed how they call him the strange kid, the weird one. But he wasn’t weird at all; he was just a bit shy and careful.  A bit he started to bounce the ball carefully. He was a bit afraid of balls since he never played with them. A soft smile appear on the pale boys face when he noticed that bouncing a ball wasn’t that hard as it looks like – and not dangerous at all! To be honest, he really enjoyed it.

But then someone stepped closer to him and he lifted his head immediately. The ball hopped away and the pale boy let out a soft whimper. But the boy next to him smiled “You’re really good at it! Do you play basketball in your free-time?”. The mouth of the smaller one opened a bit and he wanted to answer him so bad - but he can’t. He doesn’t talk really often, especially with a boy around his age. “Oh… so you’re really mute like the others said? Well… my name is Hoseok”, the other introduced himself and looked around “Maybe you can write your name in the sand? Wait, let me get a stick”.

“Yoongi”.

“Huh?”, Hoseok looked at him with big eyes. But then he smiled again but the pale boy tugged his nails in his blue shirt, he was really nervous “Y…Yoongi… my name is Yoongi”. Hoseok giggled a bit “What a cute name… so Yoongi, do you want to play basketball? Or… soccer?”. The smaller winced a bit by his words. He wanted to play with him? HIM?

“But… but I’m the weird one… and also there is lunch now, you should go back inside and eat with your friends”.

Hoseok looked again at him with big eyes. Then he grabbed the ball and smiled again “I don’t think that you’re weird… and I’m not hungry and I want to play basketball with my friend”. Then Hoseok carefully threw the ball at Yoongi who catch the ball.

This was the first time someone called him a friend.

I was born and I met you

The two boys started to play with each other more and more, they started to use nicknames for each other and because Hoseok noticed that Yoongi doesn’t really like it to talk the two using they own language with pointing at things, nodding or shaking the head. They started to eat outside during the lunch break and sharing their food which each other while they giggled about various things. But one day Seung Hyun came up to the two and Yoongi blinked a bit. He lowered his head and stop to laugh when the unknown guy stopped in front of them. Hoseok blinked a few times before he looked at Seung Hyun. He was also one of his friends, most of the time when they play soccer he was the goalkeeper.

“Ah, Seung Hyun”, Hoseok greeted him with his usual big smile “Do you want to join Yoongi and me?”. But Seung Hyun shook his head “No – Hoseok why do you hang out with the strange kid? He isn’t even funny”. “Oh…. Yoongi is funny! And nice and”, Hoseok started to babble but Seung Hyun stopped him “When you continue hanging out with him… we are no longer your friends”. Yoongi bite his lower lip. He was sure that Hoseok now will leave him – the other kids were much cooler than him and also he was just a single person. He was about to break out into tears. He was so afraid that he will lose his only friend but Hoseok crossed his arms “Then I’m no longer your friend”. Both, Seung Hyun and Yoongi looked at him a bit shocked. But Seung Hyun just snorted “Fine… when it’s that what you want… But don’t think about to come back to us!”. He turned around and walked back into the house of the kindergarten. “Hoseok! You should follow him!”, Yoongi pointed at Seung Hyun but the taller shook his head. “No, I want to be your friend Yoongi and not their friend”.

Being Hoseoks friend was the best thing which could have ever happen in Yoongis life. He was that what you can call a true friend. The day before they have they first day at school Hoseok was at Yoongis home. “I can’t wait to learn all the things there! We will learn a lot of cool things there!”, Hoseok was really excited. His sister went to school for three years already and the little boy was amazed how clever his sister was. Often when she came home from school she tell Hoseok what she had learned at school this day. “We will go on trips… and get to know new people”, Hoseok giggled a bit. Yoongi on the other hand sat there a bit uncertain. He wasn’t that open-minded and also he was a bit afraid of meeting new people. Hoseok also noticed it and grabbed Yoongis little hand. The pale boy looked at him with wide eyes but the younger smiled at him. “Don’t worry, I will protect you!”.

And he did. At the first day of school Hoseok hold Yoongis hand the whole time. Yoongi almost have hidden himself behind the taller one. Hoseok liked that, he felt like he was Yoongis protector.

I’m your Superman, I can do anything for you

Going to school wasn’t that bad as Yoongi expected it at first. He had Hoseok always by his side and they also met some other people there. One of them was Namjoon – a really clever kid who was one of the class spokesmen. He was over-average tall for his age and he had full lips. And his friend Donghyuk. He was a really good soccer-player and no one could go on the swing as high as him, he was about the same high as Yoongi but a bit stronger than him. At first Yoongi had problems to talk to them so Hoseok does that for him. Namjoon and Donghyuk were amazed by their very own sign language they have created over the years and also said that this was ‘really cool’. And so also Yoongi slowly started to talk to them but only when Hoseok was with him. But the more they get to know each other the braver even the little pale boy get.

The friendship of the four grew deeper and Yoongi and Hoseok became even closer friends. It was like they had met their soulmate at this young age. They don’t need any words, they have their own language, they laugh about the same things and they love the same things.

Yoongi on the other hand was afraid again. Again new people, new teacher and a new way to school. Why can’t he stay at the primary school like…forever? The teachers were nice, the way to school wasn’t too long and the playground there was really cool in Yoongs opinion. And at the first day at this school he was just getting more uncertain about it and his fear rose in him. The people there were tall, really tall even taller as Namjoon. Some of them look creepy and some just look like they want to eat Yoongi up alive. He squeezed Hoseoks hand tightly and looked at him with big eyes. “Hoseok… this is a really dangerous place”, he said when they walk towards the entrance hall. But Hoseok just smiled gain. “What did I say? I will protect you Yoongi”.

I always want to protect you

“Yoongi…? What do you know about kissing?”, Hoseok asked his best friend. It was a late summer evening and the two boys had decided to spend this warm day near the Han River. Some people already have headed home or into the city for some shopping or meeting their friends.

Yoongi just shrugged his shoulders. “I… I know what it is, but nothing more”, he mumbled and looked up from the book he was reading. He looked at his best friend who lay in the grass next to him and looked up into the sky. “My sister had told me she had her first kiss with a boy, his name is Hyunwoo”, Hoseok mumbled and let out a sigh. He looked at Yoongi and smiled a bit then. “I thought you would have your first kiss already, I mean all the girls are after you”, Hoseok giggled and sat up. Yoongi himself blushed a bit and bite his lower lip “But I’m not interested in them”. He also has noticed it and they always call him cute. Hoseok on the other side was called handsome and some mean girls said he would look ugly. Yoongi couldn’t understand them, for him Hoseok was the handsomest boy on earth.

“Really?”, Hoseok asked him then and sat closer to his best friend. Still he had this big grin on his face “Then may we have our first kiss together?”. “What?”, Yoongi blushed even more. With wide eyes he looked at his best friend who still grinned at him “Yeah, I don’t know what’s wrong with that. My sister also had her first kiss with a boy, why shouldn’t we have our first kiss together”, Hoseok leaned closer “Plus, we aren’t loser when we will kiss a girl for the first time”. Yoongi blinked at him and didn’t know how to respond on this. But then he also leaned closer to the taller who giggled a bit. It takes the two a few seconds until their lips finally meet and the gap between them is closed. Hoseok pressed his lips against Yoongis who winced a bit then. A moment they sat there like this until Hoseok pulled away. He blinked a bit, his lips and looked at his best friend who still had red cheeks. “This should be so good”, Hoseok said more to himself “Maybe we did it wrong”. The pale boy looked at him “And what should we do then?”. “I think we should move our lips, have you never seen that in any movie? Let’s try it out, it couldn’t be that bad when everyone liked it”, Hoseok again pressed his lips against Yoongi who grabbed Hoseoks shirt not to fall aside. Now Hoseok started to move his lips a bit and Yoongi does the same. After Hoseok pulled away this time he grinned “I think this was much better”.

Tell me, if this is love

Hoseok had his first real girlfriend in the ninth grade. Her name was Minseo, she had light brown-dyed hair and was a bit shy at first but after some time she was getting more confident and bubbly around them. She giggled on a lot of thing sand when he looked at Hoseok she has some soft sparkle in her brown eyes.

Yoongi didn’t really like her but he doesn’t know why. But because Hoseok love her and so Yoongi tried to like her. Namjoon also had a girlfriend, her name was Emily and she was half American. The two really enjoyed to talk in English with each other. Only Donghyuk and Yoongi were the two boys of the group who haven’t have girlfriend which caused that they do a lot more together than before.

“Ah, Namjoon and Hoseok are so annoying with their girlfriend”, Donghyuk said when Yoongi and he went to a Starbucks to get some coffee. They will start their project for their Japanese lessons today and before that Donghyuk offered him some coffee. While they had chosen Japanese as second language Namjoon and Hoseok had took Chinese back then. Yoongi nodded a bit in respond and the taller looked at him then. Now even Donghyuk was even taller than him. “Everything alright?”, Donghyuk asked and leaned a bit closer to the pale boy. This winced and blinked a bit “Yeah… I just haven’t slept enough last night”. A soft smile appeared on his face – he doesn’t want anyone to worry about him. Donghyuk looked at him for a moment before he then nodded and turned aside to order his coffee.

The relationship of Hoseok and Minseo lasted seven month and ten days – Yoongi had count every day. During this time he had slowly accept it. At first he couldn’t understand why he didn’t like Minseo and why he was so jealous of her. He had admitted to himself that he loved Hoseok. And he loved everything about him. His loud laugh which echoed through the corridors in the school, his weird dances he does when he’s happy or Yoongi said he will buy him his favorite food – hell he even loved the sound of Hoseok snores. Maybe for some people he wasn’t pretty, handsome or beautiful but in Yoongis eyes he was perfect.

Why are you shaking up my heart?

And it hurt him and he was confused. He doesn’t know if it’s was right or wrong, he had no idea. There wasn’t anything wrong with loving someone or was he the only person that thinks so? Just because Hoseok was also a boy there shouldn’t be that much different. But sometimes Yoongi wished that he was a girl. He always imagined it how he met Hoseok then for the first time and Hoseok falls in love with him and they can be together happily and don’t have to worry about anything. At least Yoongi.

Till we can be together in my world

“I don’t know what I have done wrong that she cheated on me”, Hoseok mumbled. He sat together with Yoongi on his bed. Yoongi had bought some snacks for them because food always calmed Hoseok down and some movie was playing on TV but both didn’t pay really attention on it. “You haven’t done anything wrong Hoseok”, Yoongi said “She did it not you, it’s her fault”. The taller blinked a bit. His eyes were still a bit red and puffy and it hurt Yoongi to see him like this.

Hoseok grabbed a hand full of gummy bears, before he ate them he took out the white and the red ones and hand them to Yoongi. He knew that he loved them and he always gave them to his best friend. “She said that I couldn’t make her happy anymore and that I wouldn’t pay enough attention to her”, he said and let out a sigh. Then he leaned back in the pillow and looked up to the ceiling. A moment he just lay there before he smiled softly. “Sometimes I think a boyfriend would be better… he wouldn’t wait until it’s too late to tell me when something is wrong”, Hoseok mumbled and ate some of the gummy bears “And he wouldn’t want me to watch horror-movies with him because he thinks I would protect him”.

Yoongi couldn’t but giggled a bit. Hoseok was really afraid of most of the horror-movies – more than some girls. He could only watch some boring ones were Yoongi usual fall asleep during it. “Don’t laugh at me Yoongi!”, Hoseok said and threw a gummy bear at his direction – but he smiled again. “But you are such a crybaby then”, Yoongi said with a grin and Hoseok smiled even more. “I’m nooooot! It’s not my fault that they are so scary” he tried to defend himself and giggled even more. A moment there was silence between them two. “But maybe… it’s a good thing that we broke up… I don’t waste my time on someone who isn’t the one. Also she was so possessive… she always has written me tons of messages and she wanted to spend every single hour with me… I wasn’t her husband”, Hoseok mumbled and now he ate some pepero. Then he looked at Yoongi “Why are you still single?”. Now the pale boy blushed like crazy and rubbed his neck “I…I…”. “You…? You?”, Hoseok sat up a bit „Do you like someone? Oh, tell me! I’m your best friend! Who is he lucky one, I need to make sure that she is worth it“. Yoongi blushed even more and looked aside. Should he tell the truth? Maybe at least that he wasn’t really interested in girls.

“Teeeeeeeell me~”, Hoseok whined and sat up “Who is it?”. “It’s a guy”, Yoongi said hastily and then he covered his mouth with his hand. He looked at his best friend who stared at him for a second before he then smiled a bit. “A guy? Oh, than I really have to make sure that he will treat you well”, Hoseok said and leaned back. He patted the spot next to him “Come on, lay down and tell me about it”. Yoongi hesitated a moment before he lay down next to him. “You… you don’t find it shocking? Or disgusting?”, he asked careful. Hoseok shook his head and placed an arm around Yoongi to pull him closer. Yoongi cuddled up more to him and close his eyes a bit. “Why should I? You are my best friend and this won’t change just because you like boys”, Hoseok said “So… tell me about your crush”. Yoongi smiled a bit “He’s perfect in every way”. “Oh…and who is the lucky one you have laid an eye on?”, Hoseok then asked. Nervously Yoongi looked at him, bite his lower lip then before he said “Not that important”. “Really? I guess he is important”, Hoseok said and run with his fingers through Yoongi black hair. Yoongi was still so cute. This one panicked a bit what should he tell him now? He didn’t want to lie to him, he can’t. So he just looked at him and he was speechless a moment. “I…I will tell you when I have talked to him, okay? When I’m a bit sure how he feel for me”, Yoongi mumbled. The taller nodded and smiled a bit “He must be an idiot when he doesn’t like you back”.

Just be there like you are now, please

The time goes on and Yoongi and Hoseok started to spent more time together again. They went out for some food after school, learn together and watch movies together. Like it used to be before Hoseok had met Minseo. And the summer came back and with that the summer holidays. Everything was perfect for Yoongi until this one day.

Namjoon decided to host a movie-night with some friends. He invited Hoseok, Yoong, Donghyuk and some unknown persons from a different school. Their names were Seokjin and Taehyung. Seokjin was the eldest and had a perfect face and broad shoulders. Taehyung has orange-dyed hair, full lips and a deep voice.

He and Hoseok clicked together right away. They were on the same level and enjoyed their weird talks. Namjoon said that Taehyung was like a second Hoseok – maybe a bit crazier than the older one. “I shouldn’t have brought them together”, Namjoon said when Taehyung and Hoseok decided to play chubby bunny.

“Ah, Yoongi he’s so nice and cute”, Hoseok said when they sat near the Han River to study a bit. It was more relaxing to study outside than stay indoors. The pale boy looked at him and simply raised an eyebrow. He remembered how Hoseok once said that he may prefer a boyfriend than a girlfriend. What if when these words had a deeper meaning? “What… what do you exactly mean?”, Yoongi  asked his best friend and bite his lower lip. He wasn’t really sure if he wanted to hear the answer. “Well… I feel really comfortable with him, I like it to spend my time with him and he often thinks the same as me”, Hoseok tipped his chin a bit “A sometimes ask myself how it would be when I kiss him”. Yoongi gulped at these words and look at taller with wide eyes. Did he really have said that? That… that he wanted to kiss Taehyung?

“I mean, have you seen those lips? I bet they taste good”, Hoseok laughed a bit “Do you remember when he had our first kiss here?”. Sure he remembered. When he now thinks back he was happy that he had been Hoseoks first kiss. “Yes, I remember”, Yoongi mumbled.

Why don’t you know my heart being like this yet?

Only a week later Hoseok almost jumped in Yoongis arms when he picked him up for school. “You know what? He said yes”, the taller said and hugged the pale boy tightly “He said yes!”. Yoongi blinked a bit and looked at his best friend „Who said yes to what?“. Did he have missed something? Hoseok grinned even more before he let go of Yoongi. “Taehyung! I have asked him for a cinema-date yesterday and he said yes! Isn’t that great?! Yoongi you have to help me to find an outfit for it…. Should I bring him a flower? Or is this too much? I mean with girl it’s typical, but he’s a boy….”.

Hoseok started to babble about his upcoming date while he walked with Yoongi to school. The pale boy just walked next to him and almost answered him automatically. He and Taehyung…. He and Taehyung… He can’t believe it. He had wished so much that maybe Hoseok finally noticed his feelings.

Why was he so blind? He had told the younger one about the guy he loved and tried to give Hoseok some hints but he never been too obvious. But it hadn’t worked. Or Hoseok just didn’t feel the same and doesn’t want to hurt him. He doesn’t know but he wanted to cry right now. But he couldn’t say no when Hoseok asked him to help him. He wanted the taller to be happy, because he loved him and this was most important to Yoongi. So he helped Hoseok finding an outfit, doing his hair and he also gave him some tips. Even though he has never dated anyone before, he wanted to make sure that Hoseoks date was a success.

Later that night, Yoongi had spent his evening alone and watching some movies he checked his facebook timeline.

Jung Hoseok is now in a relationship with Kim Taehyung.

Yoongi stared at his cellphone and bite his lower lip. A hand gripped in his blanket and he gulped. A relationship… This can’t be real, no. Hoseok and Taehyung… A picture pop-up in his mind, how they cuddle and kiss… Taehyung should be happy that he received Hoseoks love. When Hoseok loved someone he does it full from his heart, with every inch of his body. Just like his passion for dancing. Taehyung was so lucky.

How many nights do I have to spend in tears?

“…oh and his lips taste even better than they look like”, Hoseok said when he walked from the school yard. It has been two month since they started dating and Hoseoks smile grew bigger with every day. He had a sparkle in his eyes which was even brighter than when he dated Minseo. And Yoongi was happy for the two. Taehyung also really love Hoseok, he really adored him and they look cute together. “Do you spent the day together?”, Yoongi asked but before Hoseok could answer him they heard a loud squeak. Both looked up and Taehyung rushed towards them. He hugged his boyfriend tightly and pressed his lips against Hoseoks. This one put his arms around Taehyungs waist and laughed a bit.

“Ah, how are you babe?”, Hoseok asked when he let his boyfriend go before he grabbed his hand. Taehyung greeted Yoongi before he looked at his boyfriend. “Good, good! And you? I want ice cream“, Taehyung whined and blinked ab it. He started top out a bit which made Hoseok laughed even more. He kissed his boyfriend on his cheek and squeezed his hand. “Sure we can eat some ice cream…. Yoongi do you want to join us?“, Hoseok asked his best friend with a grin on his face. But Yoongi smiled, a plastered smile he was getting used to. “No, I have to study for my Japanese exam”, he said “But have fun you two”. Taehyung nodded than a bit “But the next time, yes?”. Yoongi can’t resist his smile and also nodded “Sure”.

Look at my eyes that are in sorrow

At some point Yoongi had hoped that Hoseok and Taehyung maybe break up after some time but they just grow more together with each day. Hoseok picked him up every day after school or Taehyung him, they went on dates often and when they hang out with their friends the two were most of the time in their own world. All Yoongi could do was watch them and sometimes he wished that he was at Taehyungs place. That he was the one Hoseok looked at so loving, that he’s the one who feed Hoseok with ice cream and who get kissed by those beautiful lips. But he was only his best friend who only can watch them.

“You should tell it him”, Namjoon said one day when all of them hang out. Taehyung and Hoseok sat together and giggled with each other while Donghyuk, Seokjin and his friend Kidoh sat together and ate some self-made sushi. Yoongi looked surprised at the older one who let out a sigh. “That you love him…Hoseok”, Namjoon said. “Sh! Not that loud in the end he will hear you“, Yoongi said hastily „And… and why do you think I love him?“.

“Oh, don’t act like this. I have noticed how you look at him and how you behave around him”, Namjoon sighed “I ask myself why he haven’t noticed it”. “There is really nothing… you might see a ghost”, the elder mumbled and looked aside. But Namjoon chuckled a bit then “Sure… I noticed your red eyes the day after he and Taehyung get together. How you always look at the two and how you smile when Hoseok talks to you or remember things about you”. Yoongi sighed before he nodded a bit. “Okay, okay… but I can’t. I’m his best friend and nothing more and you can see how happy he is with Taehyung“, the pale boy said. “Don’t act like this… you sound like one girl from a typical drama who can’t get the boy she loved”, Namjoon said. Yoongi glanced at him and the younger regret it a bit what he had said.

If only we can be together

“We aren’t in a drama… shut up with this ”, Yoongi said “It isn’t my fault”. “Sure and in the end you two will come together after a dramatically final”, Namjoon mumbled. Yoongi snorted a bit then “This is reality Namjoon, there aren’t happy endings”. “Why are you so sure about this?”, the younger asked him then. A moment Yoongi didn’t say anything at all and he looked down to his shoes. Namjoon just let him his time and wait. “I will go to japan and study there when we have finish school”, he told him. “What? Why haven’t you told me that…? Does he know it? Does anybody know that? Which university?“, Namjoon started to ask him. He didn’t expect this. Sure, Japanese was one of Yoongis favorite and also his best subject at school but that he wanted to study in japan? He hasn’t expected this. “My parents know about it… and my Japanese teacher but no one else, I don’t know how to tell it anyone”, Yoongi said. He hated to get so much attention.

“But you have to tell it the others! We have to host a farewell party…. Hey guys!”, Namjoon shouted and the others looked at him. “No… no Namjoon, stop”, Yoongi said but he couldn’t stop the taller one. “Yoongi is going to japan after this school year and I think we should host a farewell party”, Namjoon said. The other blinked a bit. “Really? Why haven’t you told me, we go to the same class together“, Donghyuk said when he stood up and walked over. He hugged the pale boy “Ah, which university will you visit there?”. Yoongi smiled softly “Name der Uni”. All the others congratulated Yoongi and the last one was Hoseok. He looked at his best friend a bit sad. “Why haven’t you told me that earlier?”, he asked with a sad voice. Yoongi looked aside and shrugged his shoulders “I don’t know… I… I don’t know how to say it”. Hoseok still looked sad at him before he smiled a bit and hugged his best friend tightly. “You have to promise to write me… and to send me some sweets… and when I visit you I will stay at your apartment”. Yoongi couldn’t but giggled a bit. He loved this positive side of Hoseok, he really loved it.

Yoongi often thought about Namjoons words. Should he really tell Hoseok something about his feelings for him? He wouldn’t see him for a few years then and who knows if they keep in touch with each other? Yoongi doesn’t know what to do and doesn’t know anyone who he could talk to. Expect Namjoon but he knew his point of view from of this situation. He didn’t dare it to ask his parents or someone else. His parents would freak out when Yoongi would tell them that he was gay. He couldn’t even ask his best friend for help in this case. He doesn’t know what to do and he felt helpless.

Namjoon hosted the party and for Yoongis luck he didn’t invited the whole school. Just their closest friends otherwise Yoongi would felt really uncomfortable. More than he already does. And again he’s watching Taehyund and Hoseok from far away. Yoongi let out a sigh and shook his head. Maybe he will forget him some day and meet someone new. Maybe… but he knew that he can’t compare anyone to Hoseok. No one was like him, no one. He was so caring and lovely. The way he looked after Taehyung and how he cared for him. Yoongi just wished that the younger never hurt his best friend, never. He would hurt him when he dared that. Hoseok deserved it to be happy, to smile every day and to be happy with Taehyung. Yoongi doesn’t care when that mean that he will never be happy – Hoseok was more important to him.

Even if I must let go, can I at least keep the love to myself?

Later that evening Hoseok sat down next to his best friend. He smiled at him and opened his hand. In it were a few white and red gummy bears. “Taehyung almost have ate them but I could save them for you”, he said with a soft smile. The pale boy softly smiled “Thank you”. He took them and ate the gummy bears slowly. “You know that I will miss you”, Hoseok said after some time and the elder looked at him while he chewed the gummy bears. “I will miss you two… I don’t know how I should survive there without you”, Yoongi admitted and chuckled a bit. The same did Hoseok “You will make it and when you don’t feel well then call me or write me, I will be there for you”. “Thank you Hoseok”, Yoongi said and Hoseok leaned against him. “I don’t really know how I should get along here without you… I mean who will encourage me for my dance-career?”, the taller mumbled. Hoseok started to train at a label to become a rapper and a dancer for an idol-group.

But the pale boy just chuckled a bit “You have Taehyung, he will do that”. “Yeah, but Taehyung is not you. He doesn’t knew me the way you know me… he isn’t like my cute Yoongi”, Hoseok said and sighed. Yoongi bite his lower lip. This would be the right moment to tell him how he felt for him but Yoongi couldn’t say a word, he can’t. He would destroy everything. “Then you have to call me when you need someone who encourage you”, Yoongi said and Hoseok laughed a bit. “I will do that… And when I will debut someday I will reserve you a seat in the first row”, Hoseok lifted his head again. And Yoongi laughed a bit “I hope you do! I will be your number one fan!”.

Hoseok and Yoongi spend a lot of time together that evening, remember all their moments together and Yoongi can’t but smile. He just felt like it was yesterday when Hoseok asked him to play soccer with him. He is his first and best friend, his first and only love. Maybe he will find someone else someday but Yoongi knew that he will love Hoseok forever. There was no doubt; no one can replace him in his heart. This was a different kind of love. To find your love in your best friend.

You are my eternity Eternally Love

Yoongi stared at his suitcase and tightening his grip on his bag which hung over his shoulder. He was a bit afraid now, no there was no way back. He stood at the airport, ready to leave for japan. And the only person who was with him right now was Hoseok. He stood beside him and the whole day he was so silenced. Both of them have barely spoken with each other, just some normal things. This would be the first time they get separated after all these years. And then for such a long time.

Again they call out Yoongis flight to japan that all passengers should get ready. Hoseok looked at his best friend and let out a sigh “When I hug you know I don’t know if I would let you go”. Softly Yoongi smiled – how much he wished for that. “But I have to go and I will visit you”, Yoongi said and then he hugged the taller one. This pulled his strong arms around Yoongi and hold him close to himself. They don’t need any words right now; they just hold each other and enjoyed this closeness for the last time. When they broke apart Hoseok blinked a bit then, he doesn’t want burst out into tears. “I really wish you the best Yoongi… and call me when you arrived”, Hoseok said and Yoongi just nodded. He couldn’t say anything right now. He didn’t want to go; he didn’t want to leave him here all alone. His best friend, his love. He was so afraid that when he come back some day that Hoseok have forget him. That he had married Taehyung. “When you cry, please call Taehyung that you are not alone”, Yoongi mumbled then and Hoseok nodded. The pale boy then grabbed his suitcase and smiled at him.

“Goodbye Hoseok”, he said softly and took a deep breath “And thank you”. When he will stood here any longer he will miss his flight. Hoseok nodded hastily “Goodbye Yoongi… you will make it”.

Yoongi smiled again before he turned around and rushed through the people. He needed to go away hastily because he felt how his eyes get watery. He doesn’t dare it to turn around and to look at Hoseok. How much he wished he had been brave enough to tell him the truth, to tell him that he loved him. No he might will never tell him the truth.

Because I have no regrets from loving you, take only the good memories

Hoseok just watch how Yoongi disappeared in the crowd. A moment he just stood there before he grabbed his phone to call Taehyung. He looked at the display of his phone before he pulled it away. He needed some time alone now. The black-haired walked past the big window were he can watch the airplanes. Easily he spotted Yoongis plane and he remembered everything. His shy Yoongi, how should he survive in japan without him? But Yoongi was braver than he thought and Hoseok knew this, he knew his pale boy. He can’t wait until he meet Yoongi again.

Hoseok smiled a bit then when he watched Yoongis plane leave – maybe he should go and play some soccer now.

I can tell, this is love

Thank you for reading :D

The lyrics I have used here are from EXO, BTS, 2NE1, TeenTop, My chemical Romance, BigBang, B.A.P, T-ARA  and Jay Chou.