"You're going?"

 

That beautiful pair of eyes stared. Turning around to avoid them, packing my stuffs.

 

"I'm asking you."

 

Trying to ignore that addicting voice like ecstasy. The body that leans on the door's frame still waiting for an answer.

 

"Hankyung--"

"I'm going."

 

Finally answered, those doe shaped eyes widened. He stepped closer. But stopped in hesitation. Can hear him 'tsk-ed and chuckled coldly.

 

"Fine. Go."

 

Brokes my heart to pieces. Wishing to hear some comforting words but it's impossible. He's not that type. But still, can feel the sadness in his laughter. Packed my things and reached my jacket. Plane tickets are in my hand. The taxi's waiting downstairs.

It's hard to leave.

 

"Heechul-ah."

 

He didn't answer. Well, it's all my fault.

Hesitated. Caught a step closer to front door. Can hear his steps. Running back to his room. Banging the door with all his might. Not a sob, not a goodbye.

It's hurt to leave.

 

"I'm sorry."

 

He wouldn't hear but it's a must. Left a letter to my bandmates and one separated letter for him. Opened the door and went downstairs. The driver helped me with my belongings and drove me to the airport. Letters in black ink.

 

"You're going?"

It's hard for him.

"I'm going."

And it's hard for me.

 

It's hard for us. To say the word 'leaving'.

Just as the rain fell. My heart cried. Raindrops are having a farewell party for us. Cheering for every single tears not to be drowned.

It's a destiny.

It has been destined for us not to be together. And we shouldn't.

Because you don't want to go, because you don't believe in destiny. Because you don't believe in anything except yourself.

I'll go.

 

--

 

"You're going?"

 

Facing that wide back from my sight. Seeing him packing his things; avoiding eye-contact with me.

 

"I'm asking you."

 

He's trying to ignore me. Busy with his belongings.

 

"Hankyung--"

"I'm going."

 

He answered and got my eyes widened. Stepped closer but stopped in hesitation. Knew that answer already but never wished to hear that. Chuckled.

 

"Fine. Go."

 

Words slide from my tongue and it hurts. Never wanted to say that. Stupidity of me. Such an idiot. He packed his things completely, reached his jacket and airplane tickets. Back to China, huh?

 

"Heechul-ah."

 

He called but not going to get an answer. My voice's nowhere. Stepped back and run to my room. Bang the door and throw myself on the bed. Trying to get rid of tears that were overflowing. Just like the black ink.

Not a sob, not a goodbye. Heard the front door closed. He's gone.

 

"You're going?"

It's hard for me.

"I'm going."

And it's hard for him.

 

It's hard for us. To say the word 'leaving'.

Tick tick. The window showed raindrops. As my tears dropped from my eyes. The warmth has gone forever as his presence.

What is destiny?

Why is it has been destined for us not to be together? And why we shouldn't?

Because I don't want to go, because I don't believe in destiny. Because I don't believe in anything except myself.

You're gone.

 

--

 

Just a letter for us. And a letter for me.

It's not that kind of fair, you know? Is it just me who got a special letter?

I giggled.

Black ink.

Jungsoo's crying because of you.

You made an angel cried.

 

"Heechul-ah."

 

He turned to me. Faced me with his teary eyes. Trying to say that he's okay and make sure that I'm okay.

I'm not okay. He's not okay.

I didn't cry. The others are crying except Sungmin and Kyuhyun. They're not humans.

Oh. That means I'm not a human as well.

Why?

Please answer my question.

 

--

 

"The one I love, Hankyung."

 

It's Heenim's day and he's wearing everything about Heenim.

His beloved bestfriend, Kim Heechul.

 

--

 

"He's my bestfriend."

 

It's hard to believe that we're still close even though you've left.

 

"He taught me to speak korean. He cared about me lots."

 

I know.

 

"He taught me cursing words."

 

You learned it by yourself, don't bring me in this kind of topic. Pabo.

 

"He's just like a black ink. Deep and strong."

 

Don't compliment me like that.

 

"I love him."

 

...

 

"I love him."

 

What?

 

"I love him."

 

I know, stop it. You--

 

"I love him."

 

Can you just shut--

 

"I love you."

 

...

 

"I love you, Kim Heechul."

 

I love you too, Hankyung.

 

--

 

Because we're destined not to be together.

But what is a destiny?

If we can't fight back the destiny. Let's change our fate.

Because we know. Even though the destiny separated us, our feelings will never lie. We're together by our souls.

Writing over a new blank paper, black ink represents our story.

I love you,

You love me.

 

--

 

What is love.

 

--

 

You're my early sunrise

You're my morning call

You're what I called 'my everything'

You're my evening sunset

 

You're like the sun shining up above

Surrounds me with your endless love

All the things I couldn't see

Are so clear to me now

 

--

 

You're my smiles, my tears. You're my laughs, my sobs.

You're my black ink. My precious story writer.

You're my melody, my songs.

You're my black ink, my life's melody composer.

 

--

 

Black ink.

9/3/2011