“I’m especially lonely today, strangely lonely

I don’t want to be alone tonight

I want to meet someone and talk

So I leave the house without a plan—“

     I’m going to blame Phantom if something happens to me tonight. Even before the first verse of Seoul Lonely ends, I turn off my music player and grab my bag.

     I’m wearing my shoes as I re-think my decision to go out at 11 PM right now. Rather than lonely, I’m just feeling bored. Finals just ended and people are either going to their hometowns, out of town for vacation, or even abroad for the rich ones. I really have nothing to do this upcoming holiday. I plan to visit Busan or Jeju next month, if my parents are generous enough to send me more money. I really doubt it because they rarely send me extra money except for rent and daily necessities. Maybe I should go home to Paju instead.

     I go out from my room, and try to stealthily pass through the exit post of the apartment. I succeed on making no necessary noise, and speedwalk through the street. Once I get to the main street, the lights are still lively, and the vehicles are still roaming around. I look around and decide to walk two blocks more to an even more crowded place where restaurants and stores are located. I’m feeling hungry, seeing those foods on display. Probably a stick or two of rice cake and sausage can make me full… Or should I just go into that pasta restaurant? Choices, choices.

     “Hey! Lee Hana!”

     Someone calls out from my left, and I instantly turn my head to see who it is. Two people, actually. Taejoon and Minseo, my friends from a different faculty, approach me with wide smiles. “Wow—hi.”

     “Are you alone?” Minseo asks. I try so hard to find an answer not to appear pitiful.

     “I’m waiting for a friend, actually. I was just going to go there, the end of the road. By the way, are you two dating?” I distract them with a question. Last semester, I was sure Taejoon was dating Siyeon.

     The two go red in the face. “We… Don’t. We only met awhile ago, so we’re together now. You can go with us if you want!” Taejoon stutters.

     I detect lies. But it might be true that they’re not dating, maybe they’re still getting close to each other. I have said that I was going to ‘meet a friend’ too, so I’ll just leave them alone. “No, I have to go. Bye! See you soon!”

     I go to the opposite direction, and think about ‘accidentally’ meeting people I know. Not that unlikely, since this area is close with my university. I look around again as I walk, and found nobody familiar. Good.

     As I go near the end of the street, I get thirsty. A convenience store is strategically on my left, and I waste no time to enter. I go straight to the cooler section, and start picking silently through the glass door. Several people are around me, standing in front of the shelves, and a person was right beside me in front of the ice cream freezer.

     “Hana? Lee Hana?”

     I turn my head to the person beside me, and my eyes widen. “Oh—oh, hi, Jongin!” I take out a random can of drink and face his direction. “What are you doing here?”

     Kim Jongin, my classmate, takes out an ice cream from the freezer and smiles. “Just a night walk. And you?”

     I’m tired of lying today, so I’ll just tell the truth. “Pretty much the same.”

     “Are you alone?”

     “Yeah.”

     “Then you shouldn’t be drinking that.” Jongin points to the can. I realize I’m holding a can of beer with quite an alcohol percentage.

     “What—no, I didn’t mean to take this.” I hurriedly change it with a can of soda, and Jongin laughs.

     “Are you buying something else?” Jongin asks. I shake my head, and we walk together to the cashier. Jongin offers to pay my drink, but I politely refuse. We sit together in front of the store, and spend a good minute of silence as I drink my soda and Jongin eats his ice cream.

     “So… You aren’t going anywhere for the holiday?” I try to start a conversation.

     “I still don’t know.” Jongin answers. “I still have a lot of time.”

     “Where are you from?”

     “I’m from Seoul.”

     “Oh, really? Your house must be close.”

     “My house is quite far from the university, so I’m renting a flat together with Jinyoung and Youngjae.”

     “Ah…” I finish my soda, and Jongin crumples the ice cream wrapping. At the mention of our other classmates, I ask an extra question. “Where are they now?”

     “They’re all going home.” Jongin forms a bitter smile. “How about you? Are you from Seoul too?”

     “I’m from Paju, and I live alone near here.” I play slightly with the empty can in front of me. “Yeah, everyone is away and I’m not sure on what to do.”

     “Why aren’t you going home?”

     “I still want to stay here for a little bit longer.” I don’t know if he will find it as a valid reason or not, but well my answer is honestly just that.

     “I see.” Jongin takes the trash from our table, and throws it out. I scan his movement. It’s weird to see him outside of campus, because I never did. We’re pretty distant as classmates. We attend the same classes almost every day, but we never hang out. I even almost forgot his surname earlier when we were inside. It’s hard to remember every single kid in class when there are almost a hundred of them.

     “What do you think about the last exam?” Jongin is back to his seat.

     “Don’t ask.” I shudder. “I doubt the professor would give the highest scorer more than B.”

     Jongin laughs. “I know right. I don’t know what waits for us in the third semester, I’m dying already.”

     I chuckle, and feel my stomach growling, fortunately slowly. “Have you eaten, Jongin?”

     “I did, but that was hours ago. Why? You haven’t? Wanna grab something to eat?”

     I nod, and we leave the convenience store. We cross the road to a chicken restaurant, and as we wait for our food, we continue talking about things, mostly about our classmates and lessons, and the topic slowly changes with family.

     “I have one younger sister in high school, and she’s being very annoying right now. She just got herself a boyfriend and she calls me several times a day, talking about him or asking me about what she should tell him. It’s getting on my nerves.” I tell Jongin, and he just attentively laughs.

     “I have older sisters, and all they ever told me is that I need to be a good guy to my girlfriend.”

     I remember something, and I want to ask him about this because what we are doing right now may become a problem later if someone sees us, but I don’t know how to word it. “Um… You have one?”

     “What?”

     “Um… Girlfriend.”

     “No.” he shakes his head. “And you? Do you have a boyfriend?”

     “No.” I answer, and there’s a small relieved feeling inside of me. Our orders come, so thankfully the chat is cut for now. We start devouring the chicken, and both of us are apparently the type to fully concentrate on eating.

     We are finished, and the clock is showing 1 AM already. The 24-hour eatery is getting less crowded, but not empty. Jongin and I continue talking about whatever, over two cups of coffee, and two hours unknowingly passed. The moments of silence that we had a few times a few hours ago are no longer appearing, and I feel good talking to him.

     “Your eyes are getting red.” Jongin warns me. I blink a few times, and my eyelids do feel a bit heavy now.

     “Maybe it’s the cold air.” I brush it off.

     “You want to wear this?” Jongin starts taking off his grey jacket, and I instantly raise my palms.

     “No, no. I’m warm enough. Thank you.”

     “You’re getting sleepy, aren’t you?” Jongin asks with a small smile on his face. I laugh and cover my face with a hand.

     “Maybe.”

     “Oh, before I forget…” Jongin takes out his phone from his pocket. “Here. Put your number.”

     I stare at his phone vacantly for awhile after taking it from him, and finally I get to my senses and start typing my number. I return his phone, and Jongin nods repeatedly.

     “Do you want to go home now?”

     Jongin walks me home, and on the way there we talk about potential activities on holiday, like part-time jobs, going out of town, visiting beaches since it’s summer, and so on.

     “It’s good to have someone to talk to. I’ve been spending these kind of nights alone, and I often end up in game rooms.” Jongin stretches his hands.

     “So you like going on night walks? Alone?”

     “It’s not a strange thing when my friends are around, but now since they’re not here, well…” Jongin laughs slowly. “It’s a habit, even though now I’m all by myself.”

     “This is the first time I go late at night alone.” I confess. “I’m kind of relieved that I met you.”

     “You shouldn’t do this often, it’s dangerous.” Jongin’s tone turns serious. “Yeah, it’s a good thing that you met me.”

     “But I’m bored, so I went out. I want to go again tomorrow.” I defend myself.

     “I have your number now. I’ll call you so you can tell me if you want to go out late again, I’ll go with you.”

     “Oh—wow, you don’t have to.” I get flustered. Why is he being so nice?

     Jongin smiles beside me. “Well, just in case. Remember, don’t go alone.”

     We arrive in front of my apartment, and I wave him goodbye.

     “Thank you.”

     “You’re welcome.” Jongin grins.

     “See you later.”

     Jongin just nods. He turns around, and slowly disappears from my sight as he walks down the street.

     I walk to my room, and let out a big yawn. I’m right in front of my door when my phone rings. Unknown number, but I think I know who this is.

     “Hello?”

     “You went inside, right?”

     “Of course.” a smile unknowingly decorates my face.

     “Good.” Jongin responds. “Since someone said she really wants to go out again at night, what about tomorrow we catch a movie?”

     “I never said really.” I laugh quietly. “But a movie sounds good.”

     “See you. And… Good night.”

     I return his good night with a fading voice. I enter my room, and jump onto my bed happily.

     Leaving the house without a plan is not that bad.