| in which lu han tries to find out who finished his ice cream |

Lu Han swears he hears a choir singing above his head when he opens the freezer, cool air slowly surrounding his face and neck. His eyes soften and he lets out an almost inaudible sigh of content, taking a moment to appreciate the only source of life he has available (he made sure to thank Tao for accidentally breaking the air conditioner in his excitement from completing the first day of their concert). With a swift flick of a wrist, Lu Han moves aside frozen peas and rice cakes to reveal his baby. With utmost caution he reaches out for the container using both hands, closing the freezer with his elbow.

"I missed you," Lu Han whispers, placing the pint onto the counter, "but it's okay, I'm here now." 

He runs his fingers along the cold edges of the lid and he shivers, loving the way it felt on his skin. He's a man, he has needs, needs that weren't able to fufilled the past few days—but what Lu Han wants Lu Han gets, Karen was just on delay.

(And yes, he named his ice cream, get the over it.)

Curling his thumb underneath, ready to open up and fill himself with Karen, he immediately stops and almost face-palms at his foolishness.

"I can't believe I almost forgot the spoon," Lu Han mumbles to himself, shaking his head. Within half a second it's in his right hand and he takes an experimental ; it's been a while since he's done this, he had to do this just right. Especially since it was the first day of a successful concert, it was perfect.

Carefully, Lu Han takes off the lid and looks in to appreciate the contrast of Oreos against pale vanilla, his body was ready—only to see that the carton was completely, utterly empty. 

"No," Lu Han drops his spoon onto the counter and grips what was left of Karen in his hands harder, "No no no no, this can't be happening." He pulls her against his chest with arms wrapped protectively, before letting out a loud, dramatic wail of angst and sorrow.

"What happened?" 
"Are you okay?"

Lu Han whips his head to the side, and he narrows his eyes at Minseok and Jongdae. Those traitors.

"HOW COULD YOU," he half-yells half-sobs, wiping freshly-forming tears from his cheeks. "WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS TO ME.

Panicking from the abrupt rush of tears, Minseok walks over with his sleeve pulled up over his hand, "Oh my God, Lu Han—"

"NO GET AWAY, " Lu Han protests, "DON'T LOOK AT ME." 

Jongdae blinks. Did he just quote Mean Girls?

"Lu Han," Minseok tries again, "what the hell happened?"

Lu Han holds Karen tighter against him, "You ate my ice cream!" 

Offended of being accused of such a thing when he was trying to help, Minseok furrows his eyebrows. "What? And how do you know I ate it?"

"I'VE SEEN HOW YOU LOOKED AT KAREN BEFORE," Lu Han points a finger, and Jongdae was thoroughly confused.

"Who the is Karen—"

"I never looked at her before," Minseok cuts in, "You know I'm on a diet!"

Lu Han fervently shakes his head. " I know you've been cheating: you're lucky I never told Tao that you finished his popcorn!"

"So what," Minseok sputters, "Nancy was begging to be eaten, she was left alone for days!"

"Is it safe to assume that you all name your food?" 

"Woah woah woah," Yixing walks in, cookies in hand. "Why are you guys screaming?"

Quickly, Lu Han reaches over and tears the package out of his hand, resulting in a strangled cry, and slams it against the counter. "ONE OF YOU BETTER FESS UP ON WHO ING ATE MY ICE CREAM OR," he holds a butcher knife against the snacks, "GOODBYE TO REGINA." 

Yixing screams, "STAY AWAY FROM HER SHE DID NOTHING WRONG!"

"WHY ARE YOU SO DRAMATIC ABOUT ICE CREAM," Minseok screams, "I'LL JUST BUY YOU MORE." 

"IT'S NOT ABOUT THE ICE CREAM IT'S ABOUT THE PRINCIPLE."

"DUDE YOUR PRINCIPLE," Yixing screeches, "I WANT AN APOLOGY."

"Ladies calm down," Jongdae interrupts, "I'm sure there's an explanation for all of this."

Lu Han pulls the knife closer down to the surface of Regina's plastic, and Yixing holds his breath. 

"Or you can ignore me, that works too."

"IF ONE OF YOU DON'T CONFESS," Lu Han begins, "WE AREN'T FRIENDS ANYMORE."

Minseok contorts his face into a mocking expression, "Oh my god we won't be friends, WELL YOUR FRIENDSHIP." 

"ARE WE SERIOUSLY GOING TO END OUR FRIENDSHIP OVER ICE CREAM?" Yixing cries.

Jongdae pulls out a chair and peels a banana. "Apparently."

"KAREN WAS IMPORTANT TO ME."

"SHE NEVER LOVED YOU ANYWAY."

"LOOK," Lu Han grips the knife harder, "JUST TELL ME WHO ATE MY ING COOKIES AND CREAM ICE CREAM AND THIS WILL ALL BE OVER."

Minseok stares.

"...Cookies and cream," Minseok deadpans, eyes empty. "Cookies and cream. COOKIES AND ING CREAM," He flails his arms around and veins are pushing against his reddening skin, "COOKIES AND ING CREAM, WHAT THE WHERE ARE YOUR ING CONTACTS IT SAYS VANILLA." 

It's silent.

Slowly, Lu Han places the knife onto the counter and reaches for the container. Turning it around so the label faces him, he gulps and looks down. 

Indeed, the word "vanilla" in colorful letters stares back at him.

"...Oh," his voice cracks, "my bad."

Jongdae nods in agreement as Minseok and Yixing closes in on Lu Han, "Definitely your bad."

based off justkiddingfilms' skit, ice cream. 
it's on youtube, check it out.