9th March 2014 

Our first monthsary landed on this date. It was our first important date for our relationship. The start of the growth of our trust and love for each other. 

He claimed to me for the whole month that he loved me with all his heart, treated me like I'm the only girl in the world and consider me the most. 

But the thing that I repaid him was coldness, distrust, and no sense of love. 

Which was the other way around for me within my heart. 

I wasn't sure if he knew that I've had problems with trusting men. But I remembered clearly in my head that I've remiscined about the dark past that I had. The past that I never wanted to encounter again. 

The first month we've spent, we learned about each other, getting to know each other better and getting us more closer. Plus, leaning to more drives. 

The first time we celebrated our monthsary, I remembered what he did. 

The most 

Sweetest. 

Cutest. 

Nicest. 

Most loving

Thing that I've ever seen a man to do in my life. 

And I felt good knowing that it was directed for me. 

He gave me flowers, I remembered. Cute. Oh yeah, I didn't forget, the three puppies that I asked for. We named them, Junie, Kristina and Myungie. They were the cutest and we love them with all our hearts. 

He sang me songs, in public. 

On my wall, on each Facebook Groups listed in the Roleplay and in Private Message. 

I loved it so much. 

I remembered when he made me go out when we were spending time together in the house. He told me that he needed something in the supermarket and asked me to buy something. His actions were so adorable that I couldn't resist. 

Of course I went out to buy him the things, telling me to take my time. 

Truthfully, I knew that he planned for a surprise. But what took my by surprise was the things that he did. 

Made me wear a dress. 

Sang me a song with his guitar. 

Brought me to eat dinner with him that he cooked himself. 

Then... 

Yes. Perfect. My favourite. 

 

Oh yeah, how could I forget. The fights that always occur right before our monthsary. It was creepy yet, cool. In my case. 

That pabo of mine tried to flirt with another girl in order to see if I'll get jealous. 

I never told him this.. 

But when I saw it, my heart broke to pieces. It was the first time I felt so sad in my life. My grin turned into a frown, my enthusiasm and anticipation of tomorrow's event started to cease. 

We fought. 

I thought that he was going to leave me, or in worst case scenario, I involuntary left him due to my high pride. 

But I was glad that it was all over. I didn't leave him and so did he. He was sad and guilty though. 

But I got puppies like he promised. 

 

Another fight, our first fight. Due to my stupidity. Of course. 

I believed in my friend too much that brought me to think that he was cheating of me. Sigh, I didn't know if I should blame myself for it or not. But now I do, since I trust him more than anyone else. He knows my deepest secrets, and I hope he would tell me his too one day. Or maybe he did. 

I asked him these one hurtful sentence "What if I break up with you?" 

I didn't think that it would impact him so much. I also didn't think that he will be so sad over it. But it did. 

And it hurt me as . *M RATED* 

I felt so bad. 

He didn't come online or reply me until late at night, the normal time where I usually sleep. 

But I didn't have the will to sleep, especially with this hard feelings. 

So I stayed up, waiting for him, hoping that he will come online so I could hug him and tell him how stupid I was. 

I told him the reason why I asked him that. 

Yes, I realised that he was dumbfounded at my 'theory'. 

He thought that it was stupid, and at that time, I felt stupid as well.

It's okay though. At least we resolved it. 

That was also the first time, I let out my first tears. 

First genuine tears that never came out for years. 

He told me his true feelings, it warmed up my heart, and that was the start when I slowly opened up to him. 

I felt like I should trust him more. Letting him to see a bit of my vulnerability. 

I wanted to put my trust in me, knowing the risk that could happen in the future. 

Despite that, I was still stubborn and trusted him since. 

But I was right, I trust him wholeheartedly now, and he never failed to break my trust. 

I'm glad. 

 

Tsk, I love him so much. 

 

P.S. Message for you, the only subscriber who's reading this. 

I love you forever, anytime, anywhere. Forever ever and ever. <3