Everything is still so dark. No light is on. Only that dull moonbeam shines through transparent window glass. All are in dim. It needs some times for the eyes to adapt well in this kind of darkness. Yasuo wakes up from his dreamland slowly after realizing something is missing next to him. His wife isn’t there sleeping beside him. Before intending to rise from the bed, he makes sure that his wife is really not there in the room. Unfortunately,

“Do not ever move…!” woman’s trembling voice echoes. Yasuo’s eyes are straightly facing where the voice was coming from. Right in front of his gaze, real dangerous weapon is directed to him. By that kind of threat, he can’t even utter any word. His vocal cord is sealed. Yasuo gulps. In less than a minute, sweats are flowing all over his body. It’s not going to be my end,”Ryuyoung, Wi Ryuyoung, what is going on?” Yasuo carefully talks.

There is such an unusual glare in Ryuyoung’s eyes. In this darkness, it can be seen clearly. That unknown glare is kind of glare which Yasuo has never known. It looks as if Ryuyoung sees Yasuo as harmful strange man. Not as her husband. Yasuo never expects this situation. This is insanely crazy. His mind can’t even understand.

Ryuyoung starts a conversation by uttering statement, still with gun in her hand which is straightly directed to Yasuo who is in extreme shock,”Yasuo, you know that everything forceful is bad, right? Including your feeling.”

“Excuse me, but, what are you talking about?”

“Tell me, everything, behind that past tragedy…”

~~~

23^rd January, 7 years ago

Many people ran in hurry. Most of their faces showed how panic and shocked they are. The women needed to lift up a bit their luxurious gowns or dresses which were quite burdensome. Those people’s purpose of being like this was because they had just heard a voice of woman’s scream and then cries. No need to doubt, that was today’s bride’s voice. The one and only daughter of well-known wealthy family, she is Wi Ryuyoung.

Her father and her mother were at the front of crowd which was heading to stairway. That place was source of the voice. And yes, a woman was crying there. Her cry was even louder than voice of roaring animal. She cried while hugging a figure of man. Bleeding figure of a man. She tried to stop the unstoppable bleeding from her fiancé’s head while yelling to the crowd,”It’s not the time for only staring! Call ambulance!” while Mr. Wi, her father, only can mouth the man’s name in silence,”Kim Hangil… How could this happen to you?”

Another man in black tuxedo appeared from upstairs. Everyone knew that he was Wi family’s butler, Namekawa Yasuo. His eyes truly showed how shock he was,”Mr. Kim Hangil!?”

“Yasuo! Where have you been?” she did tell Yasuo to check whether Hangil had been ready or not since the wedding ceremony was going to start in a few minutes. Yasuo clearly answered that he had done the order that Ryuyoung told him to,”I have checked and asked Mr. Kim in his changing room. He told me that he was ready and going to out soon. After that, I went to toilet then I heard noises from downstairs.” and he finally found out what caused the noises he heard.

~~~

“His death was caused by accident! As you know it, Ryuyoung.” what’s the matter with you? With big question in his head, Yasuo takes over Ryuyoung’s gun and throws it away until hitting the ceramic floor. Ryuyoung encourages herself staring at Yasuo. Accident? You said? It was at first. This lady tries to reach her gun but Yasuo successfully catches her first. No matter how hard she struggles, Yasuo won’t release her,”Who have possessed my dear Ryuyoung?”

“I am not possessed by anything!” her bold figure finally can get out.

Yasuo can see that strange things on Ryuyoung eyes. The calm, smart, and gentle-voiced Ryuyoung has turned out to messy, and even her voice is the same as roaring dinosaur. Yasuo only has one thought on his mind, this is not Ryuyoung. But in visional, she is exactly Wi Ryuyoung. Who now is Namekawa Ryuyoung. As if a movie is being rewind, his brain starts turning back all those memories. When he hardly worked to cheer Ryuyoung up from the misery she went through. He was the one who took care a lot of Ryuyoung when she was sick. Even he brought her to hospital directly after three days fever she experienced. Ryuyoung also told him all about Hangil, from the first time they met until the time Hangil proposed to Ryuyoung. Yet, that unfortunate incident broke Ryuyoung dream of happiness. Only one step to absolute brightness she wished, but a deep gap made her falling into dim darkness that she had never expected before.

Around seven months later, at the end, Ryuyoung realized that her clever, wise, and lovable butler could replace the existence of Hangil in her deepest heart. She even considered that Hangil may have been disappointed of her suffering after his leaving. The moment of debating like a war with her father was finally showing satisfying result. Then, their wedding ceremony was held without any thing interfering.

Ryuyoung’s smiling lips which appeared on their wedding, is now substituted by trembling lips that expresses some kind like hatred. Yasuo decided to step forward, getting his face closer to Ryuyoung,”You, suddenly bring up that past event. Doesn’t it mean that you are still cannot get off it? Huh?”

“Sorry, but no! It’s not what you guess –“

“So? What? All this seven years we’ve been through together, that Kim Hangil is still stuck in your head? You are not fully giving up your heart to me, yet?” Yasuo lowers his tall figure so his eyes can straightly look into hers. Yasuo shakes his head in disbelief,”If it is true, just please remember our Sehwan.” hearing their son’s name really made her stoned. Sehwan,”Yes, I always remember Sehwan, and I won’t ever let him be ashamed by himself of having a murderer father!”

“Pardon?” Yasuo forms a meaningless smirk. Then he laughs loudly until it scares Ryuyoung a lot,”But then, if you kill me, Sehwan will have a murdered mother, isn’t it?” Yasuo makes a statement. Once again he laughs, although his laughter sounds like screaming. Ryuyoung doesn’t know is it because of his laughter or anything but tears starts falling from Yasuo’s eyes. It is her first time seeing him like this,”Ryuyoung, you think that I killed Hangil, don’t you? You think that I am the culprit, right?” Ryuyoung nods,”That tears, I know you feel guilty, right?”

“Should I feel guilty?” Yasuo asks her back. He sits at the edge of bed,”You have no evidence –“

“I do!” Ryuyoung lets out something from her long white sleeping dress side pocket. It is a note, small note, pocket note. Ryuyoung smiles,”You know what it is, right?”

“What are you doing with my note?” Yasuo raises then rushes to get the note, but he fails.

It is a pocket note which he bought a long time ago in order to write on some Wi family’s schedule or everything about his job. But then it functionally changed as a book which he uses to express everything. Now, that book is in Ryuyoung hands and it makes her starting conclude all things she has just got from the book,”I assume you as Hangil’s killer from this,”.

~~~

Yasuo moved from Japan to Korea while he was 16 years old. Due to some problem his parents have that he never ever could understand. First day of school, he still found it hard to speak in Korean although he had learned it before heading to Korea. The teacher told him to sit at the seat she pointed and there he met Kim Hangil. Hangil was his first friend in Korea and he also taught him Korean language more than Yasuo had ever learned before. Yasuo always had the thought that Hangil was his only person he could trust in here, because even some other people at school didn’t like him since it was difficult to communicate with.

Things started to change a bit while Yasuo finally had a crush on someone. Someone special who gets Yasuo’s attention but she never knew that. Even she never knew who Yasuo was. They were in different class and Yasuo didn’t know her name. But then Hangil finally helped him out to get her name,”A friend of mine who is in the same class as her told me that her name is Ryuyoung, Wi Ryuyoung. Ah, even her name is as pretty as her figure, isn’t it? You really have a good type!”

“Wi Ryuyoung?”

“Yes. Yasuo, when will you tell her about this? I see you are suffering a lot of keeping that in your chest, just let it out! You know what the greatest happiness is? Being together with someone you care the most.” Yasuo shook his head after hearing Hangil’s advice,”No, I won’t ever tell her.”

Yasuo and Hangil’s relation was then separated since they needed to get in different university. Busy life in college made them only could keep in touch via e-mail. Yasuo often told Hangil that the thought of Ryuyoung was still leading everything on his mind. Unfortunately, his latest e-mail wasn’t replied by Hangil. He kept waiting and waiting, unstoppably checked his inbox, but nothing. He almost thought that Hangil might have forgotten him, but he tried throwing it away. Yasuo did believe, Hangil wasn’t that kind of person.

You know what the greatest happiness is?

Without any help from Hangil, Yasuo briefly looking for more information about Wi Ryuyoung. After knowing her family basic and other important things, Yasuo gave up his education then came to Wi family’s house as a butler.

Being together with someone you care the most.

Everything was going well for Yasuo, since he could see and interact with Ryuyoung every single time. Unlike the moment when they were both still in high school. Nevertheless, that time, when finally Ryuyoung told him that she had the right man as she had ever dreamt. The next day, that man stopped by the house and made a conversation with Ryuyoung’s parents. Yasuo was called to the living room for bringing some tea, and there he recognized, the man who Ryuyoung mentioned was, Kim Hangil. Only Hangil felt awkward and surprised to meet Yasuo, whilst Yasuo smartly controlled the situation so Ryuyoung and her parents wouldn’t know anything. Yasuo calmly gave a smile then turned back to the kitchen. Because Yasuo wasn’t only a butler for Ryuyoung, but also as her brother figure, Ryuyoung always told him about Hangil. Whenever she praised him, Yasuo’s heart broke into uncountable pieces. But it was impossible for him to tell Ryuyoung.

All those stories are clearly written on Yasuo’s note. Back to present condition, Ryuyoung concludes,”So, after knowing that Hangil betrays, you got disappointed by Hangil. Your madness burst, and you used the time when the wedding ceremony was going to be held, am I right? I am a good detective, ain’t I?”

~~~

23^rd January, 7 years ago

Thirty minutes before ceremony, twenty minutes before incident

“Yasuo!”

“I’m behind you, Miss.” Yasuo replied Ryuyoung, as usual, respectfully. Ryuyoung told him that she was sorry for yelling. She didn’t know that her great butler was behind her,”I’m so nervous, Yasuo, what should I do? Ah! Can you please, go check Hangil upstairs? He is a bit slow you know; make sure that he has been ready.” Yasuo bowed and quickly went upstairs to Hangil’s changing room.

Sound of knocking door Hangil heard while he was tidying his tie and looking at his own reflection on the mirror. He let the guest to come in, and the door was opened. Tall figure in black tuxedo stepped in. That figure stood right behind Hangil. Hangil could see who the guest was since his mirror also reflected it,”Yasuo?” he mouthed. Yasuo replied with such a meaningless smirk. He gave Hangil an applause,”Congratulation, not for your wedding, but for your success of betraying.”

“Yasuo, it is not like that. Well, okay, I am sorry if you feel like you are being betrayed by me. But, when I met and knew her, I was –“

“You were falling for her, and you only can think about her and yourself. You didn’t even remember me, right?” Yasuo stepped forward. Hangil remained silent. He knew he was selfish. He forgot Yasuo that easy. He knew he was so pathetic. When love had already blinded you or embraced you, hindered you to look outside the bond of you and the one you love. There’s nothing you can do unless following its furrow.

Yasuo pulled him out from the changing room then pushed him on the wall nearby,”Foolish, ignorant, betrayer like you have no rights to live happily!”

“Yasuo –“

“My name will be the last words you say in this life, so then, wait for me in afterlife. I’ll be there too, but maybe not so soon. Goodbye, bestfriend…”

Yasuo pushed him to the stairs as if he was throwing trashy things. Or maybe, he really was. Before many people would come to the scene, Yasuo quickly disappeared from that place.

~~~

“Ryuyoung! You, stop making that kind of nonsense chronology. Wow, you are a great scriptwriter.” Yasuo sarcastically feels impressed by Ryuyoung. Ryuyoung rolls her eyes. She was sure that her expectation about that past tragedy was perfectly accurate,”That was fact, Yasuo, fact!”

“I am, the one, who knows, the real fact!”

“Then just honestly admit it that you are the culprit! Admit it that you are guilty!”

“Ryuyoung, it all happened in the past. There’s no need to get back because it will turn out useless. Let’s face the future. Why are you so damn want me to reveal like there is something hidden but I don’t hide anything regarding that incident?” Yasuo’s question doesn’t make Ryuyoung speechless nor stoned. She knows exactly her purpose,”Do you still remember the moment Sehwan ripped some papers for him to draw? Those papers are from a novel you were reading and you hadn’t read that chapter yet.” at that time, Yasuo was so mad to Sehwan. He couldn’t continue to read the rest if he hadn’t read the chapter before. It’s all ripped by Sehwan. Yasuo decided to buy the one only for reading the ripped chapter and understanding the rest story.

Nevertheless, this life is not book. It can’t be bought again. It can’t be returned. Life keeps going on and on. Ryuyoung needs to find that missing chapter in her life, or she will continue her life in confusions and mysteries. Also will end it with so many question marks.

Yasuo takes the gun which was on the floor. He puts that weapon on Ryuyoung’s palm, letting her to grip it,”So then, you were threatening me, at first? Do you think I am afraid to face the death?” Yasuo denies his own question. Yasuo gets closer to Ryuyoung, until hole of the gun touches his chest. If it lets one bullet out, it will right go through his heart and end his life story,”You know what? Even I am not afraid at all, because…”

I am going to tell you this big missing thing in another world. I’ll be waiting for you, there.

BANG!

~~~