a/n:

I guess this was just a fail Krisho drabble. I dunno. Even EXO had had the cofirmation that Kris won't be with them anymore, I just can't move from the LeaderShip.. I hope this won't dissappoint you all.

Tears of frustratoin can not measure the weight of love

I can not withdraw the love I already gave and I can not give you all the love I owe you

I finally understand the true taste of love

(Wang Lee Hom – Kiss Good bye)

It was 22^nd of May. It was my birthday. After the small party the members had for celebrating my 24th birthday and another intense practice before concert, I dropped my body on the bed, still wearing my wet clothes. I closed my eyes and run my fingers to my forehead, shook my blonde locks. I sighed. It was tiring, the days suddenly became too tiring. I felt like my body could break apart at every end of the days. It was really hard to bear. Since he’s gone. Yeah, That bastard! I clutched my chest when suddenly the thought of him appeared in my head, “That bastard!”

Without even me knowing myself, tears built up on the corner of my eyes. “He doesn’t even here to celebrate my birthday. He doesn’t even wish me happy bithday. He doesn’t even here... He- he.. was gone.” I couldn’t handle it anymore. I cried hard. I burried my face to the pillow nearby.

I hate this side of me. I hate the truth that I was that weak when he left. I hate the side of me which couldn’t even act like a strong leader in front of the kids. I hate the side of me which couldn’t show everyone that everything was alright and will be alright. I hate the side of me which was breaking down when you’re not around. I hate the the side of me which was missing your presence. I hate the the side of me which was missing your touch, your voice, your silly smile. I hate the the side of me which was missing your frown. I hate the the side of me which was needing you right then to share this suffocating and frustrating feeling. I couldn’t stand alone. I couldn’t be a single leader for 10 members. I couldn’t handle all of these works.

“Kris... Wu Yifan... You bastard, please... Just come back.”

I cried hard till my eyes swollen and started to feel heavy. My body was about to give up, my eyes were about to close, when suddenly a warm hand appeared. That hand slowly, too slowly, caressed my tears away from my cheeks. ‘I know this hand. I know exactly whose hand this is.’

“Kris?”

There was no answer, but that hand was gone. It didn’t wipe my tears again. My body was too tired to even move an inch or open my eyes. The only thing that I could do was praying to God to feel that hand again. I shut my eyes closed thightly, ‘God, please make it true. Please make the owner of that hand be Kris. Please, God. Please be it Kris.’

God had to be answering my pray. A pair of lips slowly placed a kiss on my forehead. The kiss was so slow yet so sweet and heart-breaking. A tear escaped down to my cheeks, ‘That is you, Kris.’

“I’m sorry, Baby. Happy Birthday. Stay health and strong. I love you, Kim Joonmyeon.”

The voice was real. My heart was so hurt yet so happy to hear that voice. I tried my best to gain my consciousness. I slowly opened my eyes, slightly anticipating but slighty affraid that it was all just a dream.

The figure wasn’t there. That person wasn’t there. He wasn’t there. I cried hard again. I hate the the side of me which was so pathetic like this.

-END-