A/N: True to this series, this is another complete nonsense chapter that I just wrote to cheer myself up. If you want more Channuneo stories, go here instead! And enjoy Chan with fins! (yes, very loosely based on the Running Man episode)

===================================================================================

Chansung had been stuck in his house for so long he was starting to grow fins instead of feet. "Usain Flippers Hwang" he told himself, "This is not normal."

"Maybe I should take a swim."

“Junho!” he called out, “Wanna go to the ocean?” 

“Why are you so loud” Lee sighed and was just as clamorous, true to his ambiguous nature, “Cool your feet.”

“I don’t even have feet!” Chansung wailed and stomped the ground to see how much of a fish he felt like, “I have turned into a sea bass here and I need to surf a wave.”

“Let me see your feet.”

Reluctantly, the merman removed his socks and reluctantly, his friend checked the toes out. Scoffing as he found nothing unusual and yelping as the foot approached and almost hit him square in the nose, bone-breaking, skull-crushing power and all. Never get too intimate with the reflexes of a martial artist. 

“Not even.” “All normal.” He ducked as Chansung lost his balance for a moment and swerved to the side, a shiny membrane between his toes flickering by as Junho blinked and dodged. “The toes are standard issue” he whined, “The rest of you is a ing disaster.”

“Swim.” The tone was diplomatic and simple, the body swaying as king Triton scratched his calf, tried to put his sock back on and gave up in quick succession. “I have an urge for water.” His eyes got dreamy and glazed over.

“Tssk” Junho hissed and hissed again, “Tsssk, if I followed your every whim I would be in a Chinese river by now. Covered in leeches and apple sauce.” 

“You betcha.” Chansung swung his leg and bumped into Junho’s , following up with a slap and a grin and a tickle over his heel. Maybe the fins where growing. “And you would stand there happy so what’s the problem.”

“Yeah I’m going for lunch, screw you.” 

“You’re going to the beach!” It was a super persuasive voice but worse, Chansung coupled it with firm arms snug around Junho’s upper body and holding him in place. It was like holding a cat on crack, squirmy and angry and paws wagging everywhere. “Nooooo” the kitten mewled, “I don’t feel like it and I’m hungry!” “And my head is heavy today” he growled as Chansung shook him a bit and didn’t let go.

“This isn’t normal” the fish-to-be squeaked, “I went mad from sitting in my room and looking at the wall.” “I will go!” He dragged a limp Junho along the floor while they both huffed. 

“You went mad for unknown reasons!”

“Maybe you drove me crazy.”

“It’s mutual!” And Junho kicked the stubborn shins away to flee. “You’ve been insane always and it doesn’t justify kidnapping.”

“I will take you to dinner afterwards.”

“Eat sand.”

Before Chansung could build a case, Junho vanished into the kitchen and just a low humming remained. Perhaps it was an old tune he’d accidentally distorted, or a new one he hadn’t tamed yet. Either way it stuck to Chansung’s brain and just made him more convinced his mind was turning into slush.

Fish don’t float though, not when they are young and wild and have something to strive for. So the man with the fins tossed his arms in the air, turned around and flipped his room upside down. Came back with a bag and a new type of smile.

His feet had definitely morphed.

Splat, splat when he scurried over the floor. “Junho!!” He snagged the bowl of noodle soup and sploshed half of it on the table, some on the floor. Got nothing but a sour look in return. 

“Beach!” Like he was commanding his troops, Chansung propped the bag on the table and his floppy foot high up on Junho’s thigh, repeating the scream again before he realized his tongue was better used on the soup. It tasted of squid and it felt like eating a cousin. “Beach!!” “Really Junho I’m having a meltdown.”

“I can see that.” He didn’t yell back, but graciously stood up and pouted, reaching for his meal and refusing to accept it was out of reach in the paws of some savage bear. “Give me that!” He ballyragged at last and punched Chansung in the stomach, his angry little fist doing nothing but causing a mild tickle.

“I’m never ever going to give in to your blackmailing again” Junho grumbled, “I’ve told you that and what’s changed? No. So just-“

Fifteen minutes later they were going. Not all relationships are democratic.

~

“Are you happy now?” Junho loured and dragged his feet, toes digging into the unforgiving dunes and making his legs heavy. “We’re here, you can swim, can you hurry please? You ate and I didn’t.” 

“I think I would make a good dolphin.” Chansung was all up in his own mind. “Intelligent water creature, that’s something I should try.”

“You have the same laugh. That’s were the similarities end.” The wry smile jumped over Junho’s lips and involuntarily spread to his eyes, just for a moment. “And sometimes you smell of fish, okay.” 

When Chansung just looked at him with a continuously blank stare, Junho added “Don’t make a rap about this please.”

“Who, ME?” They were not far from the water’s edge but Chansung planted his and his bag and tossed his sneakers. “Yes who, ME? I’m just a man in the SEA.” His hands drooped and flitted in some gang related pattern. “Are you angry now? There’s no reason to BE.” Everything spoken in a hazy rhythm that just infuriated Junho even more.

“You yes you” he replied and flipped his hands too, “You told me to come? And now I WENT. Would tell you to swim some but dude, GET BENT.” Though with the same kind of steady beat, he spoke angrier and with less gusto, only bothering with the rhyme because then maaaaaaaybe Chansung would listen. 

Nah, he didn’t. 

At least he lowered his voice so it was more of a slur, just random “I’m a fish on land, yadda yadda eating sand hum hum the water is bland.” Junho zoned out. “I got Nuneo in my hand!” And Chansung’s fingers closed around Junho’s ankle to tug at it and leave a little scratch.

“Hey you useless shark, go trample some water.” Chansung giggled and his palm couldn’t keep the tension so it flinched and scratched and spawned a little somersault against skin, making Junho retract his leg and scratch the spot. “Go go” he sighed and desperately waved his arms with the kind of resignation that comes from really knowing someone’s stubbornness over years and years. 

“My fiiiiiins” Chansung sang, “They are itching.” For a while he remained relatively in control, the sun scorching and the people around them cackling, while Flippers Hwang discarded his clothes and let the heat solder his skin to his muscles. He even closed his eyes for a minute, which wasn’t like him when the morning had started with a hyper fit. 

Didn’t last long. “What are you doing?” he howled and sprung to his feet. “Instagramming your face” Junho smiled and picked a sepia-toned filter, “I’m bored.” “And you really do have flippers for feet” he ascertained with disinterest, a thick and leathery membrane having stretched over soles and arches and bound the toes together. 

“Yeah I do” Chansung said with simple nonchalance, “Told you. They grew from sitting around and mutating for too long without taking a break.” his foot, he found it rubbery and sleek, perfect for slicing the surface tension and making little water whirls. “If you’re gonna put anything on social media, it’s these!” He happily wiggled his toes, or if they had already become finlets, and lifted his ankles so high his shorts wrinkled and exposed half his . Not that Junho minded but it was kinda not appropriate for a public place.

The freakshow aside.

“How is this even possible” he said in a hushed tone and swept the weird fusion of sea and man down, “It’s maybe something a doc should look at.”

“What?!” Chansung laughed and finally got up to launch himself into the water, “It’s improvement! Evolving.” “I am Chansung level two.”

“You’re starting to annoy me.”

“False!” Fishie went towards the ocean and turned around to add, “I’ve annoyed you since long before!”

‘Well, true’ Junho scoffed and snapped another pic to save for a rainy day, ‘For ten years or whatever.’

Ah, what a decade. 

So it was quiet for half an hour, while Chansung tumbled in the waves and Junho indulged in some peaceful heat, the illuminated red of his eyelids starting to feel numb and comfortable. Always count on Chansung to appear in the exact moment when things fell into a slumber-like state. “Are you even looking at me?” he shouted boisterously all the way from the water, emerging upright like some orca. 

“Why would I?” Junho scrunched his face up in a displeased grimace, as his smiles spread to his eyes so did his less happy miens conquer every feature. “You’re not much to see.”

“I have this new way of swimming! Like a shad, you know just floating while my fins do all the work.”

“Sure, sure..”

“Look again! Put this on twitter and make the caption Chansung Thorpe, the new olympic hope, okay. This isn’t just any little crawl.”

When Junho just waved dismissive, Chansung came a bit closer and escorted the reluctant spectator, first by showing the way and then by grabbing Junho’s elbow to draw him with. “Look closely” he said, “You will see something fantastic.” And Junho sighed, but he watched as Chansung submerged and re-appeared fifteen meters away and then hovered just below the surface. Okay, so it did look eerie.

“Very nice” Junho mumbled and narrowed his eyes, “You’re an impressive person and whatever.” There was no way Chansung could hear from the distance so Junho stopped his acrid comment before it was really finished. 

“Put your phone down and come race me!” 

Junho shook his head but Chansung persisted.

“Swim from here-“ he pointed and showed with his arms, a distance that was fleeting as water has no fixed points, “- to here, and then we’ll go back to eat.”

“Promise?”

“Yeah yeah!” When Chansung shook his head, drops sprayed around and seemed to cause a little rainbow that gradually dispersed. “I’m hungry too” he asserted and showed with his hand come hither. 

In the water, with Chansung rolling under and over and beside him like a true seal, Junho had to admit that there was finally some fun to the excursion. Every once in a while, something thin and fluttering would brush against his legs and it didn’t quite feel human but still had the warmth of Chansung and his never-ending energy.

“I admit there is something about you today” Junho beamed and he was happy at last, “You don’t swim like you use to.” “No” Chansung gleamed from joyful eyes and lined up chest to chest, nose to nose and so close it was impossible not to itch in a hundred places at once, “I grew flippers and it’s good for the ocean, bad for land. How will I run?”

“New times” Junho scoffed and s his arm behind Chansung’s back to gather as much warmth as possible before the manatee would flip backwards and take off again. “You know what’s the same though” Chansung leered and motioned to break free. Junho curled his fingers to stay the second it took to guess. “You like me as much as always?” 

“Well..” All about Chansung’s face said come on, even if we both turned into eels, that would STILL be true. His voice on the other hand, it blurted out “I am still as hungry!” And then he went, flopping towards the beach and grabbing onto it with greedy hands before he flung himself to his feet and ran for a towel.

“Oh good heavens” Junho sighed as he made a more poised ascent and turned the other way not to seem too affiliated with the maniac. ‘At least we can eat now’ he thought quietly, ‘Best I can ever hope for, really.’

So an hour later, they had sushi and the fins grew back maybe. Maybe.