May 11, 2013.

I remember it clearly, almost as if it was yesterday.

It started with an SMS

"Oppa, I feel sad and lonely..."

I chose to ignore it, thinking that she'd get over it soon.

Not long after, there was another SMS.

"Oppa, where are you? Please don't leave me alone... Where are you?"

I should have replied her. Why couldn't I have just said "What happened? Are you okay?"

It's been one year and I still regret my decision to ignore her.

 

May 12, 2013.

That day, I let myself into the house since no one answered the door when I knocked.

"Yoong-ah, where are you?"

I was greeted with silence.

Besides thinking that she must be sleeping really heavily, I didn't find anything amiss until I walked into her room.

She was lying on her bed.

Blood was everywhere.

On the bedsheet, on her skin, on her wrists.

What happened?

 

May 13, 2013.

She was depressed and suicidal.

But she didn't tell anyone.

She didn't ask for help.

Until that night when she finally had enough. When she was breaking.

She asked for help and I ignored her.

 

May 13, 2013.

Yoong, I am so sorry.

This is all my fault.

You must have wondered why I ignored you.

You must have felt so helpess.

You must have wondered, "Where's Ji oppa? Why isn't he replying me?"

I am so sorry.

I hope you're happier now.

You deserve so much more than me.

Rest in peace, Yoongie.

I love you.