I was going to boycott them and their efforts and to do this. I wasn’t leaving the van until they brought me home. I could deal with famine and thirst perfectly fine; I had practice from gaming and being too lazy to get up and go downstairs to get anything to eat. There was one thing, though, that I didn’t know how to combat without being gross.

I had to pee.

Flopping onto my side in the back seat, I groan and wipe my face. My eyes weren’t bloodshot anymore and the red tint to my cheeks had thankfully disappeared at some point. I had been sitting in the van playing solitaire on my phone for the past few hours. It was surprising to look at the clock and see that it was already the afternoon, but it made some sense thinking about how long the drive must have taken to reach the middle of nowhere.

About an hour into my mission impossible, L.Joe had come out with a water bottle and a sandwich for me. I didn’t eat them. They are still sitting in the seat I had brutally kicked on the way here. Every now and then I would eye the items and debate the consequences of taking a bite or a small sip, but never actually did anything with them.

Back to my current dilemma, I heard large raindrops pelting the roof of the van and I can’t stop the whimper that escapes me. Don’t think about liquids… I try to tell myself this, but the rain picks up. I sit up and I stare out at the lake, ripples forming from the falling water. Wiggling and squirming, I try to find a way to sit where my bladder wasn’t disturbed.

“Dang it!” Cursing myself, I grab my near dead phone and throw open the door to the van. I almost leave the door like that just so one of the others would have to come and close it, but I can’t make myself do it. Instead, I slam it shut and waddle up the small hill to the cabins, trying to shield my head with my hand so I wouldn’t get rained on.

Running onto the porch to the two conjoined cabins, I glare at them both and dread what is to come from opening either door. Creeping to the window on my left, I feel like a stalker as I peek inside one of the cabins. At a table I could just barely see a few of my kidnappers and shake my head rapidly, not wanting to be near them. I move to the other cabin and without looking in the window I barge inside.

I look around before heading to the only room that looked like it could be a restroom, yelping when I open the door and Chunji is sitting on the toilet—fully clothed—with a red face and red eyes.

“I-I’ll be out in a minute!” he says quickly in shock, meeting my gaze.

Slamming the door shut, I blurt out an apology before I can stop myself. I know I hated them, but I also know that I was the reason the elder was crying alone. Pursing my lips, I know I should feel a bit remorseful, but instead I know he deserves it. For all the times I had cried myself to sleep for the past years knowing that I was being used but continuing to put myself through it just to see Chunji on a regular basis. Scoffing a little at the thought of how weak willed I was, I lean on the wall with my arms crossed as I wait to use the bathroom. Chunji comes out after about a minute and I don’t say a word to him, slipping past silently and locking the door as I relieve my bladder.

I splash a bit of water on my cheeks to wash up and look at myself in the mirror. Had I lost more weight? My parents had been threatening to take me to a dietician soon if I didn’t start gaining weight, but I didn’t realize really just how thin my face had become not only since I had started staying home more, but even the stress of the druggies and their weekly runs.

Heaving a low sigh, I turn off the water and pat my face dry before I cautiously open the door. Chunji thankfully isn’t standing there, though I had assumed he naturally would be waiting to lecture me. Relaxing a little, I move back towards the exit. It isn’t until I open the door that I jump in fright, the elder standing right outside the door facing out at the terrain.

“What’s wrong with you?” I ask, trying to make my voice mean. I brush past him, but am unable to actually touch Chunji, it a habit now because the other had never been like to be touched, at least by me that was. I subconsciously stomp down the stairs, hearing Chunji follow after.

I hear another door opening as well and flinch when Niel’s piercing voice calls for me to come inside. Changjo shushes him, but I know they are all on the porch watching me like I was some animal at the zoo. Biting my lip harder and harder, I ignore how Chunji speaks lowly, trying to get me to turn and talk to him as I move back for the van in the rain.

“Just leave me alone,” I growl as I take a sharp turn and head in the direction for the lake instead when Chunji cuts me off. “I want to be alone.”

“No, you don’t!” Chunji shoots back as he grabs onto my wrist before I can go down the small incline to the lake’s beach. “You hate it. It’s slowly killing you, Changhyun, and I-I know it’s my fault. It’s our fault, but we want to make it up to you. We don’t want you for your money. We want you for the spunky, weird person you are.”

I stare up at Chunji in shock and pull my hand away from him, eyes wide. The words sound rehearsed, like he had been saying them to himself in the bathroom while waiting for me. I shake my head a little, but don’t respond verbally for a bit. “I…”

Chunji shakes his head as I try to speak as if knowing what I was going to say to him. “You know you’re lying to yourself, Hyun. Please, just give me one more chance. I really do care about you.”

Swallowing hard I’m already soaked to the bone from the downpour. The rain mixes well with my tears and I sigh sadly as I push myself away a step farther. “I cared for you too once. I cared about all of you guys. You treated me like an insect. I’m done with you. With everyone…”

Wiping my face, I turn towards the lake, but the muddy ground below me has a different idea. With a yelp, I slip and fall hard on my , though it doesn’t stop there as I slide down the hill. My ankle catches on a root and twists awkwardly making me a bit nauseous. When I stop I reach down in pain, Chunji at my side in an instant.

“Are you alright? Where are you hurt?” Chanhee asks instantly as he cups my cheeks and makes me look him in the eye until I responded. I grimace and let out a small whimper subconsciously and point down at my ankle, reaching for it and holding the spot that hurt the most as if it would make it stop.

I try and say that I was fine, but it really hurts.

Chunji notices somehow—maybe because of my crappy poker face—and pulls my arms away from the injury. He wraps them around his neck as he turns and as carefully as possible pulls me up so he was giving me a piggyback ride. I hide my face in the elder’s neck as I turn red and tighten my grip when Chunji begins moving up the hill. I close my eyes when I hear the other four at the top worriedly asking if I was alright. I pretend that I don’t and fall into my own world where these people were still my kidnappers and not my ex-best friends.

Before I know it, I’m back in the cabin sitting on the edge of the tub while Chunji begins to play doctor. He rolls my dirty pant leg up and begins to remove my shoes that were completely ruined before finally starting to wipe off the drying mud with a wet rag.

“It’s fine,” I say, knowing I could take care of myself.

“Shush…” Chunji puts on a fake glare as he pulls a first aid kit from underneath the sink. He grabs a bandage, sticking his tongue out a little as he begins to wrap it around my ankle, making sure to be careful, looking up occasionally to check if it was too tight or painful.

I watch the elder’s face and can’t stop the smallest of smiles from appearing. I wipe it away quickly, eyes widening at how stupid I must look, heart beating faster as my cheeks turn a bright red from just the thought that maybe my feelings for Chunji somehow hadn’t disappeared despite the time spent away from the elder or all the things he had done wrong to me.

Swearing to myself, Chunji looks up in shock. “Are you okay? Am I hurting you?” He notices my bright cheeks and places a hand on my forehead, worriedly checking for a high temperature which only makes me blush more as I push the hand away with my own dirty ones.

“Just don’t, Chunji,” I whisper brokenly when I see the others in the doorway.

A part of me thinks they were really trying to be nice this time, but I don’t let myself think it for long. Not after what they had done. I couldn’t let my mind forgive them; I wanted to be angry at them forever. They had almost gotten me arrested and killed, but now wanted forgiveness?

I shake my head a little and bite my lip only to realize it was bleeding, most likely from the fall. When I whine, Chunji takes a piece of tissue paper and dabs at the blood. His lips part as he tries to concentrate and not inflict anymore pain, and despite my hatred I like to think that I had, I find the other a bit cute. I blush, wiping my muddy hands on my jeans.

This can’t happen. I won’t let it. Even if my heart forgives them, I won’t let my head be filled with the lies. No matter how much I still loved Chunji.

xXxXx

I know it's been forever... Here's an update though and please don't hate me!!