One more fight.

Other.

And another.

It never ended when Jaejoong became jealous. He was the most jealous lover I had in my life. We lived together with other members of DBSK as best friends, and so we could not open the game about what we had. About our "escapes." I'm someone who likes to drink, smoke, make sad songs and enjoy my charm. I always enjoyed doing it, but when Jaejoong witnessed, he became more poisonous than a passionate woman.

We couldn't have anything between us.

Our hearts would never get rid of the silence. The world would crush us until we were worn by prejudiced society where we lived. What could I do?

I looked at the second or tenth glass of whiskey I  have drank this rainy night. After a without any grounds with some random actress I had in my notebook. I would always need to take that voice, those angry shouts  being heard in my mind. They were sharp, intense and pleasurable to be listen. Oh yeah ... I felt pleased to hear him scream, just for me. Between the sheets, united in our little world.

But when he screamed in fury, nothing or anyone could hold Jaejoong back. He was impossible, possessive and loyal. He couldn't be with anyone else but me. Okay, maybe a few kisses in  Yunho and Changmin ... But I knew he just handed it to me ...

Ah ... My vision is blurred. My head is spinning ... I'm drunk. My face is wet, but the window protects me from the rain ... Am I  crying?

I miss him, even though we have fought for five hours. I switched on my phone. He should have called me ... He always calls.

-Jaejoong ... - I sighed to myself when I caught myself thinking again about his smile . Large, white and so my. – I-I ...

Nothing could leave my lips, that were already feeling the powerful "sincerity" effect that was delivered to me when I got drunk.

"I love you". I remember when you told me that, Jae ... I felt my heart warm so intensely, thinking he would melt with all the love that came from your gaze, your blushed face and your lips trembling in nervous.

I need to touch you. Now.

I'm already putting my clothes, even though staggering, dazed. What I intend to do? Drive drunk like this, capsize my car and die?

No. Not die. I need to say something for you before, my Jaejoong. My angel. My Piece of bliss...

I took the car keys and not even went to say goodbye to woman who remained asleep in her bed, wondering if I would be there the next day, early in the morning.

I found my car parked and walked in the shadows, ashamed of my situation. Drunk, Park Yoochun?

I got in the car, ignite it. When I saw the red and yellow lights on the  avenue leave me bewildered, I thought of you, Jae. You're my balance. It's that what you always say ... Isn't it?

My eyes fogged with tears wanting to fall again, but I would not cry. I can’t cry.

I dodged the cars ahead me calmly. I needed to see him. When I my phone, there were 3 missed calls and one message.

"I'm where we had our first kiss."

Han River.

I ran with my car to the destiny, not caring if I was spotted and fined and then arrested. I was drunk.

I finally got to the place, illuminated by the light poles. I saw  a shadow amidst the grass slightly brightened by the lights. He gazed the river slowly, with  his legs glued on his slender body. I walked up there reeling, useless and feeling like a loser. I gave a humorless laugh to myself.

I sat beside him and gazed at him with his bright eyes gentle. Swollen from crying. A twinge of guilt filled my chest and I  took a deep breath.

-Drunk? - He asked huskily, looking away again from my gaze. Why do you do this, knowing that I hate it, Jaejoong?

-Just like that I might be able to forget you... - I inquired dragged with a laugh without a reason. - Jae ...

-Sorry.

No, you don't have to apologize ... I... - I love you. - I'm sorry. I was heartless to you, wasn't I ?

-Very. – how could you be so cold and adorable at the same time?

-Look at me, Jae ... - he did. I want to kiss you, Jaejoong.

-What now ...?

-Only when people are drunk they can finally confess their feelings ... You knew that?

-Yeah ... - he sighed. He seemed impatient. I was also tempted  to touch his ​​whole body. Only mine.

-Jae-... - he looked back at me intently, with his serious face. - I love you.

Our eyes became confused and accomplices. His smile  smile litted up that whole pre-dawn darkness.

-I love you.