Day 3 - Write about the worst time you’ve ever put your foot in your mouth

“Jagi,” Seungri begun, choosing his opening word carefully. His eyes ran down the page of his English to Korean proverb dictionary once more, furiously squinting his eyes in a form of studying, his jaw slack all the while. 

“Yeah?” Mihyo answered, striding through towards the open doorway upon hearing her boyfriend’s voice emanate from inside his “office”. Seungri’s make-shift “office” was if not nothing but an isolated window-filled room at the back of the apartment in which he either recorded demos on the rare occasion, or studied up on his foreign languages without his serious distraction of a girlfriend in sight, but mainly used to pretend he was President Yang Hyunsuk. He’d even nicked a stray Bearbrick off Seunghyun and placed it on the only shelf in the room to make himself feel even more like the nasally CEO.

“What is it?” Mihyo inquired, tilting her head and staring unblinkingly at Seungri as she waited for him to reply. It was so adorable how he insisted on shutting himself up in his “office” when he was attempting to study, claiming she was so much of a beautiful distraction to have around when he was trying to get work done. She wasn’t really ever sure whether to be offended or flattered by this, but regardless, it was unbelievably cute how hard Seungri would try to improve his English for a maximum of fifteen minutes before he went back to pretending he was President Yang Hyunsuk in his office.

“Sajangnim?” She added teasingly, slowly sauntering towards Seungri. However, he still continued to grimace down at his textbook, completely unresponsive.

There was a beat before Seungri replied in a very small voice.

“What…What does it mean to…to put my foot in a mouth?” 

Mihyo couldn’t help but pinch her own forehead in confusion, before letting out a little snicker. If she thought what Seungri was saying was correct-

“I mean, I just don’t understand!” Seungri suddenly stood, flinging the book down onto his desk in exasperation. He stalked over to the window, staring down at the rushing cars below. He sighed. He ran a frustrated hand through his ruffled hair.

He sighed again.

“What could it possibly mean? Does it mean I’m trying to tell the person they should put their foot in a mouth? But what mouth? The mouth of a river? My mouth? Their mouth? Is this some kind of ual analogy? No, wait-“ Seungri paused. He slowly turned around to face his struggling-not-to-lose-it-right-there-and-then girlfriend, eyes wider than deer in headlights.

“What if,” Seungri started to reason, now pacing back and forth behind his desk. “What if…This is a form of insult that implies the offender should suffer from foot and mouth disease!”

Mihyo burst out laughing. “Baby, that’s not-“

“Aha! Yes! I see, I understand now! Very clever! Because foot and mouth is a disease that only livestock can get, and so, I am implying that they are not dissimilar to that of a cow!”

“That’s not what it-“

“Or a pig!”     

Mihyo didn’t reply. Instead, she sank to the floor with her head in her hands. She curled up in a shaking little ball of laughter. Tears freely flowing down the sides of her silk-smooth cheeks, she howled in absolute hysterics.

Seungri immediately dashed to her side, extremely concerned. “Jagiya?! Jagiya! Wh-What’s wrong?! Oh my god, I wasn’t telling you to get foot and mouth disease! I-I was just testing it out! I didn’t mean to-oh my god, I am so sorry! Jagi, baby, please! Don’t cry! I’m sorry, oppa is sorry! I’m so sorry!” Seungri wailed desperately as he flung his arms around Mihyo and enveloped the little shaking ball of laughter with his entire body, as if protecting her from a bomb explosion.

“Get off of me!” Mihyo yelped with laughter, pushing his chest off of her. Rising to her feet, she wiped her tears of laughter from her eyes, still giggling slightly.

“Jagi? Are you okay?” Seungri asked anxiously, also rising to his feet. He eyed Mihyo warily, as though expecting her to throw a hissy fit any second now.

“I’m fine,” Mihyo affirmed. “But, jagi…that’s not what it means…”

Seungri frowned. “Not what what means?”

Mihyo couldn’t help but smile. “To put your foot in your mouth means, like…to say the completely wrong thing at the wrong time. And, like, potentially make things extremely awkward.”

There was another pause as the irony struck Seungri over the head like a hammer.

“Wha-?!” Seungri moaned, collapsing to the ground like a pack of cards. “That’s what it means?! Urgh! That doesn’t even…! I don’t get it! English is…English is no!” Screwing his eyes shut in a displeased pout, he flailed about on the floor, kicking his legs up in the air like a bug stuck on its back, madly waving his fists above his head.

Seungri instantly opened his eyes in surprise upon feeling the weight of another body land on his. He looked down to see Mihyo grinning impishly up at him, her hands running up and down the plates of his chest.

“You’re so adorable, baby,” She murmured, leaning forward to quickly kiss his protruding lips. “It’s so cute when you learn English. It makes me want you so bad, sajangnim,” Mihyo added teasingly, winking a fluttering eyelid at her instantly abashed boyfriend, red rising up from the collar of his shirt.

“You need to work on your Korean,” Seungri stuttered after a few moments of internal mortification. “It’s…It’s not sajangnim-“

Mihyo reached up to the side of his jaw, eyes locked with Seungri’s all the while. “Oh. It’s not?”

“It’s…It is…Mr. Sajangnim.” Seungri concluded, immediately looking away from embarrassment. God, he wanted to die! He had no idea Mihyo had been on to him and his dream! He thought nobody but his one trusty Bearbrick knew (speaking of, he really needed to nab another one from Seunghyun sometime real soon)! 

“Mr. Sajangnim…” Mihyo repeated, instantly amused by her boyfriend’s odd combination of both English and Korean. “That’s so y. Mr. and Mrs. Sajangnim…”

Seungri immediately perked up upon hearing no apparent mocking from his girlfriend. “Yeah, that’s right,” He smirked, rolling his neck around and sighing in relaxation. “I’m yours, and you’re all mine. Lucky you! You get Mr. Sajangnim all to yourself, Mrs. Sajangnim! Don’t you feel so fortunate and blessed? All the girls weep at the mere mention of your name, knowing you own oppa! Doesn’t it make your heart race?”

Seungri had closed his eyes amidst all his blabbing of whatever the hell he was going on about, and had failed to notice Mihyo make her way further up his body so they were face to face. Upon noticing an evident silence and lack of response, Seungri was about to open his eyes, until he felt a rush of air on his face.

“Ack-!” Seungri thrashed wildly about, startled out of his stupor. Mihyo only giggled, pursing her lips once more and threatening to blow on his face again as she blew a kiss at him.

“Don’t I make your heart race, baby?” She asked innocently, flirtatiously batting her lashes at the flustered Seungri. “Well?”

“You make my heart race like I’ve escaped death,” Seungri found himself automatically lyricizing in response, reaching up to trace Mihyo’s face with his hands and eyes. “Like I’ve faced fear head-on. Like I’ve ran ten million miles. Like I’ve just gone for ten rounds-“

“We can go for ten rounds right now, you know,” Mihyo interrupted. Seungri’s eyes immediately snapped back to hers, to see his girlfriend smirking mischievously at him. “Or are you working right now, Mr. Sajangnim? Are you busy, Mr. Sajangnim? Should I get out the way?”

“I’ve clocked out for the day,” Seungri regally announced, lacing his arms around Mihyo’s waist and pulling her body down onto his. “Time to have some fun. You’ll join me-” Seungri paused to kiss Mihyo’s waiting, parted lips. He couldn’t resist just once, though. Again, he kissed her, playfully biting her lower lip, quickly one more time, and then slowly one final time before continuing speaking. “-won’t you, Mrs. Sajangnim?”

Mihyo slowly smiled, her lips still pressed to Seungri’s.

“Of course, Mr. Sajangnim.”