You could say that Luhan didn´t really know how it alla began.  

Maybe it was in the very moment that he first laid his eyes on the cute, chubby boy as he walked into the practice room.  

Maybe it was after the first time the boy whispered his request for a translation into Luhan's ear. 

Or maybe... it just jumped on him over time.   

One thing was for sure and that was the fact that Luhan was head over heels for Xiumin. Screw the fact how it began, that doesn't matter. The important thing is that right now, Luhan is sitting in the EXO-M van, about to faint from his feelings going on overdrive. 

He is seated at the very back of the van leaning against the window. So far so good. 

The not so great fact is that Xiumin is using his shoulder as a pillow, his face snuggled in the crook of Luhan's neck.  

Most people would probably jump around and scream from joy if their crush did that, but to Luhan, this is a worst-case scenario. 

Of course he doesn't mind Xiumin using his shoulder as a pillow, the opposite actually. 

He would be thrilled about this happening, if it wasn't for the fact that Xiumin had his face right by his pulse which probably is going on overdrive right now, making him work up a slight sweat. 

'Please anyone let this misery end' 

As if his wish was heard, the van stopped outside their hotel and all the members began to exit the van and went into the hotel lobby, where the EXO-K members were already waiting for them. 

 After receiving strict orders to eat, clean up and use their free-time to relax and relieve stress, the members grabbed their respective roommates to find their rooms. 

Luhan, the lucky star of this worls, was as always paired up with Xiumin. But since Xiumin's face wasn't planted on his shoulder anymore he figured he'd be alright. 

That plan screwed up pretty quickly. 

Upon arriving in their assigned room, Xiumin loudly declared that they were going to have some best-buddies bonding time, since they had been too busy to hang out just the two of the lately. 

And to Luhan that sounded alright. Of course he wanted to spend som quality time with his best friend in the entire world. 

What Xiumin did forget to mention was that their "bonding-time" involved a bath in the hotel bathrooms' huge bathtub.  

As soon as Xiumin DID tell him, Luhan went straight into panic mode. Bathing with Xiumin? ?! No way that's happening! 

"Xiumin I don't think I'll take a bath today, I'm good. You can go ahead though, you should take some time to relax". 

"Don't be silly Luhan. You've been sweating all day from dancing and playing games on all of those talk-shows we had to take part of. Of course you need a bath as well. And why should I relax more than you? You need to unwind as well you know? Come on, I'll scrub your back for you okay?" 

"But..." 

"No buts Luhan! Look, I know that you aren't exactly a fan of showering with others, but what's the harm in taking a bath together with me huh? We aren't exactly strangers". 

'That may just be the problem... Oh if you only knew Xiumin'. 

Before Luhan had the chance to come up with some sort of good excuse like "I have the African banana-flu" or "my goldfish was the last person(?) I bathed with and it died and I don't want to see the same thing happening to you" or even go as far as "I can't because I'm afraid I'll sport a serious after seeing you ". 

Well, the last one was actually not a excuse, but the sad truth. 

As they both began undressing Luhan was beginning to feel the panic spread through his entire body.  

What if he ended up getting a hard-on from seeing Xiumin ? What if Xiumin catches him  staring at him? What if he gets disgusted with him? Will this be the end of our friendship? 

"Hey Luhan, aren't you coming in? The water is so warm and nice. Look, you can even turn on bubbles like how cool isn't that?". 

With careful steps Luhan made his way over to the bathtub, before getting in which such speed that Xiumin couldn't help but chuckle at him. 

"Really that afraid of showing your body to me? Come on Luhan it's not like I haven't seen it before in the changing rooms. There's nothing to hide or be ashamed of". 

All Luhan could do was to stare at his own legs through the water, while willing his not to give him a surprise later on. 

He had to admit that the water did feel nice against his tired body. It was warm and soothing and smelled of the strawberry-vanilla bath salts which Xiumin had put in just a minute ago. 

The bathtub was more like a small bubble-pool, shaped in the form of a cirkle with a white body and lime green edges. A panel on the edge of the tub showed a display full of settings and functions, such as bubbles, massage or roof shower. Luhan decided that maybe he could get used to this after all. 

"Hey Luhan, could you scrub my back for me?" 

Luhan turned to his right to see Xiumin moving towards him, washcloth in hand and a bottle of shower gel. He had a small grin on his face and tried to act cute with his big round eyes staring straight at Luhan, who by now was sporting a major blush. 

"Ummm... Yeah sure. Turn around then". 

Xiumin smiled at him again before handing over the stuff to Luhan and turning around so that his back was facing Luhan. Taking a deep breath while putting some shower gel onto the washcloth, Luhan then began to scrub Xiumin's back, gently at first before growing braver and put some power into it. He could see Xiumin relaxing after just a couple of , his shoulders falling down and his head lulled forward. Luhan liked that he could make Xiumin feel so relaxed, even if he knew that it was probably more by the help of the washcloth. 

After a little while, Xiumin turned back to Luhan, taking the washcloth from him. 

"My turn to help you. Now turn around for me". 

Luhan wanted to just jump out of the bathtub and run all the way over to South Korea, but he did as he was told and turned around, letting Xiumin get to work at his back. 

But after 5 minutes of constant scrubbing Luhan still didn't begin to relax the least. It almost was like he tensed more and more for every minute passing by. 

And Xiumin was almost beginning to feel a bit annoyed. 

"Why aren't you loosing up already? Am I doing it too strong? Too weak? You're tensing up more and more Lulu". 

Luhan almost jumped into the roof after hearing the nickname roll of Xiumin's tounge, but he managed to control himself. Instead he began to turn towards Xiumin, but only got halfway before Xiumin pushed him back around again.  

"Oh no you don't! I'm not giving up on this before you relax those shoulders Luhan. Seriously, you're stiff as a stick, and your neck muscles are knitted so tight that they can compete with a rock". 

To emphasize his point, Xiumin put his hand on Luhan's neck, causing Luhan to shy away from his touch. This was new, and Xiumin didn't like it one bit. 

"Why did you move? Isn't it alright for me to touch you? You never reacted this way before Lulu". 

The hand was back on his neck, this time accompanied with Xiumin's other hand on his shoulder. 

Luhan tried to move away from those pretty hands, but Xiumin was persistent, if nothing else tightening his grip on Luhan. Luhan stopped trashing around, but Xiumin could feel him shaking underneath his hands. 

"What's wrong Lulu? You've never acted this way when I touched you before, so why now?". 

His questions were only met by silence, and no matter how hard Luhan tried, he couldn't stop shaking. 

"Luhan.. Could it be that... you've had a bad experience bathing or showering together with someone else in the past? Where you by any chance... assaulted ually by someone in a situation like this one?" 

When Luhan once again refused to answer and didn´t object, Xiumin took the answer as a yes and turned Luhan to face him. 

"You know I'd never do anything like that to you right? I could never even think the bare thought of doing something like that to you! You trust me, don't you Luhan?" 

Luhan wanted to object, tell Xiumin that he had got it all wrong, but his tounge just wouldn´t obey him. Instead he just nodded, and Xiumin gave him a small smile of comfort. 

"At least turn around and let me wash your hair for you okay? After that we can get out of here and watch a movie alright? We can order some pizza as well. And I promise to cuddle with you through the entire move. Just like we always do". 

Luhan offered Xiumin a small smile before turning around, and even though he couldn´t see him he new that Xiumin was smiling at his back.  

Xiumin tilted Luhan back so that he was basically lying on Xiumin's chest while Xiumin massaged shampoo and conditioner into his hair, and he let his tears be masked by the water that splashed over his face when Xiumin rinsed his hair. 

When they got out of the bath Luhan told Xiumin he needed to use the bathroom. Xiumin left with a promise of ordering pizza and picking good move before slamming the door shut. 

Once he was out Luhan locked the door and went back into the water, and let the sound coming from the tub and pipes conceal his silent sobs. 

Why couldn't he just be in love with someone who he actually had a chance on? Why did it have to be the person who cared about him the most, but would never see him as nothing more than a friend? 

After a 10 minute long crying session, Luhan finally got up and dried himself off before heading out of the bathroom. Seeing as Xiumin was nowhere in sight, he quickly checked his eyes in the mirror so that he'd know if he had to be prepared to lie about why his eyes were so red.  

Xiumin returned after about 5 minutes, two boxes of pizza in his hands and a big bottle of soda. 

Luhan sat himself down on the couch of the hotel room, which was big and cozy with pillows and blankets all over it. Xiumin soon joined him after putting on the movie which was displayed on the big plat-screen on the wall opposite of the couch. He cirkled one of his arms around Luhan´s small waist, the other one reaching for a slice of pizza before poking it at Luhans' lips. 

"Say aaah Lulu" 

Luhan looked at the pizza, confused at first, but soon took a small hesitant bite from it. It tasted delicious, but sadly Luhan didn't feel very hungry. It seemed as if his usual apatite was far far away. And Xiumin apparently noticed as well.  

"You're not hungry? Otoke..." 

Seeing Xiumin wear such a sad and worried face because of him made Luhan want to cry. He didn't deserve such kindness from the boy sitting by him, looking like his whole world had just fallen apart. But still, Luhan couldn't help himself. He craved the love and affection he received from the other boy, even if he'd never get it in the way he wanted to.  

"Otoke, otoke? Luhan you really should eat something. You´ve gotten so thin and I´m worried about you. You never eat with me anymore and you never eat much when we eat with the others either. You always used to tell me that I should eat more, even when I was on a diet. But now you should really listen you your own advice for once. Luhan I don't want to see you get hurt". 

That was it. All of the kindness and concern became to much for Luhan to bear at once. The tears began slipping sown his cheeks, one after one until he was full on crying. 

Xiumin jumped back at first, surprised by Luhan's sudden breakdown, but he was almost immediately back by Luhans' side looking at him with big concerned eyes. 

"Luhan? Lulu what´s wrong? I'm sorry I called you too thin, I didn't think about your feelings at all. Being called too thin must hurt just as much as being called too fat right? I'm sorry Luhan, I know how much words like that hurt and I should have thought about your feelings more before opening my big stupid mouth. Oh Luhan will you please forgive me?". 

For some reason that only made Luhan cry louder, and Xiumin was at a loss. He had no idea was Luhan was bahaving like this, and it was beginning to freak him out. He felt his own tear stinging behind his eyelids, but he pushed them back. Right now he had to focus on Luhan. 

He scooted even closer to the crying boy in front of him, gently prying away the hands which were covering his face. He then  Luhans' tears away with his thumbs before bringing him into his embrace. Luhan only continued on crying, sobbing and wailing into Xiumins' chest. 

Xiumin buried his face in Luhans' soft hair, breathing in the smell of his shampoo before snuggling his cheek deeper into the soft locks. 

"Why Luhan? Why are you so upset? Why won't you stop crying so that I can show you that everything will be alright?"  

He mumbled it more to himself than to Luhan, but Luhan must have heard him. And this time he actually got a reply, although a bit muffled by hysteric sobs and sniffles. 

"Because everything is not going to be alright. Why can´t I do it Xiumin? Why? Why can't I just continue on being your best friend without it hurring so much? I'm tired of it, I don't want to live like this anymore! Why can't I get to be happy as well?!" 

Xiumin just sat there in sheer shock for a moment, before Luhan began speaking again. 

"It hurts Xiumin... It hurts so much and I just want it to stop..." 

"Why are you hurting Luhan? Have I done something? What did I do for it to hurt so much to be my friend? Please, please tell me Luhan". 

"I-I can't Xiumin. You'll hate me". 

Xiumin then liften Luhan from his chest so that he could look straight into Luhan's beautiful chocolate-brown eyes. 

"Listen well okay Luhan? I could never hate you. No matter what you did I'd never be able to hate you. Remember that alright, because I'll repeat it as many times as I need to before you understand that it's true. Now no more excuses. Tell me what´s wrong". 

More tears spilled from Luhans' eyes and he wanted to hide his face again, but Xiumin held his gaze and made it impossible for him to look away. 

"I love you..." 

The words were spoken so quietly that Xiumin wasn't sure if he had heard them right. 

"W-what did you say Luhan? Speak louder, say it again". 

"I freaking love you okay!? I've been in love with you for such a long time now but I couldn't tell you because you'd hate me and then our friendship would be over and I don't want that! I told myself that I could live with you as just my best friend but it turns out I can´t. I just can't, because it hurts too much every time you hug me or we cuddle and I know that you don't feel the same as me in that moment. I just can't go on like this Xiumin... It hurts so badly..." 

Xiumin was shocked. No, he was beyond shocked. Still, he kept on gazing into Luhans' eyes, which by now were spilling over with a new waterfall of shiny tears.  

And oh how much he hated himself for being the cause of this beautiful boy's misery. If he just had acted out on his own feelings sooner, Luhan would never have had to suffer as much as he did. 

Slowly he bent down towards Luhan, kissing away the tears that kept on falling before planting a small innocent kiss on Luhans' soft lips. 

It may have been short and innocent, but in it Xiumin poured out all the feelings he had been bottling up as well, trying to show the crying boy that he was sorry for being such a fool to not notice, how much he cared and how much he loved him. And that they´d both be alright from now on. 

When he pulled back, Luhan looked at him with big tear-filled doe-eyes, looking slightly dazed. 

Xiumin just giggled at his cuteness and his hair. 

"I love you too Luhan. You have no idea how much I love you. And I'm so sorry for being such a fool and not telling you sooner, but I'm here for you now and I love you. I always did". 

You'd think that Luhan wouldn't have any more tears to cry by now, but he still managed to start another water work as Xiumin pulled him into hs embrace one more time, making him feel safe and most of all... loved. 

Xiumin kept on  Luhans' hair and back as the boy cried, and he even let a small tear of his own glide down his cheek. A tear of relief end happiness this time. 

They sat like that for a long time, until Luhan stopped crying and stopped shaking in Xiumins' arms. Xiumin moved his little deer away from his body just enough to see that the boy had fallen asleep after crying so much.  

He chuckled at his deer's cuteness, before lying down in the couch, bring Luhan down with him. He placed Luhan so that he was snuggled in tight between Xiumin's body and the back of the couch, tucking him in with a blanket so that he'd stay warm throughout the night. 

Draping his arms around his little angel he continued to his hair while gazing lovingly at his sleeping face, eyes full of adoration. 

Placing a small kiss on his lips, nose and forehead he looked at the angel's face one more time before going to sleep himself. 

"I love you Luhan remember that okay? Because I'll repeat it as many times as I need to before you realize that it's true, and even when you do I won't stop". 

A/N: Sooooo. What did you think?  

I know I should be updating my other story right now, but I suddenly got this idea (ironically) while showering and I just wanted to write it down and share it with you guys.  

Did you like it? Please leave a comment with your opinion. They really brighten up my day ^^ 

And I'd also be really happy if you checked out my other story For the better. 

It's a xiuhan story with a good amount of fluff and romance in it so please check it out! 

Byebye! <3