"I wish I could die without hurting." That is what she asked for, after tossing the coin unto the wishing well. She's a good friend of mine way back then and I have a lil crush on her but I have no guts to confess. But everything changed and now

She's one of my classmates that I can consider as an emotional girl. She has a scary aura that would definitely intimidate anyone. She wears heavy eyeliners that would really scare the out of you. Her eyes that would actually pierce you into two. Her name is Minzy, cool name for a girl. After hearing her wish, I went beside her and said, "I wish that her wish will not come true!" And then I tossed 2 coins for that. She glared at me while forming her hands into fist. "What the hell is your ing problem?" She shouted out loud. I don't know what to say so I hugged her so tight that she can't escape. "Whatever you're going through, everything will be alright." I told her while embracing and patting her head like a lost puppy." 

"ing NO! You say that because it's not happening to you." She wants to escape into my arms but I held her tighter but she caught me off guard when she gave me a punch in my stomach. "ING STAY AWAY FROM ME!! She emphasized every word that left me hanging.  That hurts, I never knew that she is that strong. I like her. Since the day she wasn't what she is today. That was when I was in second year in the university. That time the spring came and she's sitting with her legs crossed and having a nice sleep on one of the benches near the sakura tree. She wore a casual jeans and t-shirt and her headphones on. That day, I think I like her. She became one of my friends 'cause we're in the same class. Sometimes we talked about music and bands that we like. Her smile, 

The way she flips her hair, 

Her laughs, 

Her unending remarks, 

The way she complains, 

The way she gets mad, 

Every simple thing about her...

Makes my heart beats fast

Makes me stutter a lot

Makes me fall in love 

As if it was my first time. ♡ She's usually alone. But the way I see her eyes, I don't think she's lonely. She's just herself. But something big has changed after a year. She wears this black shirt, heavy eyeliners and then I felt coldness from her. She's different. I got curious to what happened to her so I investigated everything that had happened on that vacation. 

I ended up being shocked and speechless with what I discovered. Her parents died. No relatives want her. She got rejected by a ing company 'cause they think she's not good enough. She tried suicide twice by taking pills. It was hard. And then she met this bunch of guys whom she thought she belonged.

Sometimes I would look at her wrist to find out if she's cutting. 

After knowing these things, I went to their house. It was dark, lights are turned off and everything seems so cold. I knocked on her door twice, thrice, and for the nth time, she opened it. "What do you ing want?" She asked me. 

"Please let me save you from this hell" I told her with me wanting to have an eye contact but she avoided me. "I really like you" I blurted out with concern and longing for her. "NO. YOU DON'T. You just say that 'cause you feel pity towards me. I'm not worthy. I'm ugly. I'm broken. You can't fix someone as useless as me." She whispered while a tear fell down. "That's not true. You are beautiful to me. You are not broken, you're just sad and lonely." "Sehun" she said And she continued crying like a child. She hugged me. "I am sorry.." 

 

She said while Sobbing. "My soul is broken" she told me. I almost died when she said those words. I want to ask God, "why can't I make everything okay for her?" If only I could turn those sad tears into smiles or maybe I can asked God, "I'll take the pain that she needs to endure" "I'm sorry" she said I smiled a bit 'cause I know that we'll be back just like the old times. 

"Talk to me, Minzy" I encouraged her. We were sitting on her couch feeling cold with her house. She's all alone. She's scared of having no one. "No one likes me. I wanted to die right now."

"Really Minz? In front of me?" I asked. "Yes, so that when I die, your face is the last thing I'll see." She replied like it's just a joke. "I want you in my life Minz, even you don't want me to be in it." She just smiled and looked at me with sad eyes. "I saw you looking at my wrist everytime you got a chance" she said to me. "Yeah, just in case you're trying to uhh hmmm kill yourself"  "Thank you" she said with sincerity. "But you never checked my thighs she said. I got confused. "I don't like anyone looking at your thighs and you really don't show them." I replied not knowing where would this conversation lead to. She went to her bathroom and after a minute or two she came back with her shorts. Her thighs, she's hurting herself. She cuts her thighs. I am about to say something  unaudible but she asked me, "am I still beautiful to you Sehun?" She asked with sadness on her eyes. She's waiting for me to answer but I can't utter the words that I wanted to say. There are scars and some of her wounds are still raw. I asked her to sit down and look for a medicine box. I started to panic since her wounds look really hurt. "I will call an ambulance" I said. "No." She replied. "But Minz, they start bleeding. 

"You're calling an ambulance or you get out here" she said to me.

"Okay, okay, but please don't do this again." I told her kneeling in front of her. 

She nodded in response. "Thank you" she mumbled. "Minz, stop saying thank you or i'll kiss you." 

She hit me hard on my shoulder and said, "yah Oh Sehun, who do you think you are?" "Your future husband I guess" I replied and I saw her smile. My heart, it stopped beating. "You should always smile, 'cause it suits you a lot." 

"Tha~~" she was about to say thank you but I kissed her. 

She was shocked from her expression that I've seen. 

She pushed me hard and I got out of balance and fell on the floor. "You were about to say thank you Minz, I knew it!!" 

"FREAK!!! I'M ABOUT TO SAY "THAT'S A LIE" YOU IDIOT!!!" 

My mouth formed like an "O" shape and I smiled uncontrollably. "I'll sleep now, GET YOUR FACE OUTTA HERE!"  She said. "You're funny when you're mad" I told her. "So, I'm a joker now?" She replied like it was a lame reasoning why I'm laughing. "It's already 2 in the morning Minz, do you want me to get ?" I said jokingly. "SCREW YOUR DIRTY MOUTH!" she said irritably. "OH AND YOU KISSED THIS DIRTY MOUTH OF MINE!" I replied like I'm a high guy who teases his girlfriend. 

That morning, after all the drama and crying that she've been through we decided to get some sleep. "You sleep on the floor." She said and turned the lights. "Why would I sleep on that hard floor when I can sleep beside you? I mean your bed is like a california king bed to me!" I told her with my voice cracked cause I wanna hold her to sleep . "WHAT THE HELL HUN?" "Yes hunny, I'll sleep beside you." I told her and started to take my side of the bed. "Fine! We will sleep with inverted positions!" 

She said. When we've settled down, not facing each other 'cause it's awkward to talk to her feet. I'm thinking of a reason so that I could turn upside down. "Minz, are you awake?" I asked. "NO, I'm asleep." She replied. She's mocking me like hell, I would get pissed. "Your feet smells." I said and started to move inverting my place to face her while doing so, I got kick. "Awww that stings a bit!" I told her. "SLEEP NOW!" She said. I smiled inwardly and hugged her back. I'm tapping her arms and kissing the top of her head feeling her warmth. She slept soundly and I think that she's more beautiful without her eyeliner. I woke up early 'cause I really didn't get a good sleep since it's really hard to believe everything that had happened last night. I got up and tried to cook for her and go home to change clothes. 

I saw a black motorbike outside her house and a guy sitting beside it. I think that guy is one of her so called friends. I went outside just to check the guy. 

When the guy saw me, "where's my Minkki?" He asked. I look around me just to check if he's talking to me. 

", I don't play nice kid" he remarked. 

"No Minkki here" I replied coolly. 

Then suddenly, a hand grabbed my elbow and said, "leave him alone, Kai." 

"Tssk. Tssk. You're saving this kid 'cause he slept with you?" 

That's it. I got annoyed and launch my fist on his face. That bastard. 

And then he laughed at me. "I'll get my revenge kiddo." He told me. 

Then Minzy stepped in front of me and said, "Kai... stop this, I can't come for today." She said 

Where are they going? I asked myself.

"Ok then. I'll see you my baby next time." He said and hopped on his motorbike.

We went back to her house as I asked her about the guy, 

"Who is he?" I inquired.

"A psycho." She replied.

"Minz, I'm serious" I said not having eye contact with her.

"Ex" she said simply. 

"Good to know he's just your past." I sighed.

"He asked me to move in last time." She said.

"Move in? In his dreams. Why did you two broke up?" I asked.

"Because, curiosity killed the cat Sehun." 

Tsssss. She's crazy. She doesn't want me to know I guess she's still in the process of openning her heart to me. 

"Go home." She said.

"Later." I replied.

"Now" she insisted.

"You don't want me here?" I asked her. 

"Yes" she said plainly.

"Are you ok then?"  I questioned her.

"Yes. I'm ok."

After about 30 mins I left the her house to changed clothes.

MINZY'S POV

After he left, Kai came in my house. He wants me back after cheating on me twice. I won't play his game anymore. 

"So, he's your new boy toy now?" He asked me.

"He's not a boy toy, He's a man who can take care of someone he cares for. Atleast he finds me perfect after seeing my thighs." I told him straight to his face.

"Oh don't start with your smart mouth Minkki." He replied with sarcasm

"I want you again. I mean, this will be forever now. I am all yours Minkki" he continued begging for me again.

"FOR 'S SAKE Kai!! Stop your ." I told him.

"He will just used you Minkki, You're no good for him. He's a player Minkki but still he doesn't deserve someone as broken as you." Kai said.

"NO! NO!" I start to panic and pushed him on the wall. Punching his chest. All the words came back again. 

"You are useless!"

"You are fat!"

"You are ugly"

"You don't deserve happiness!" 

"You are a !"

"You don't deserve to be happy!"

All dark thoughts entered my mind and I can't control it. I shouted so loud, screamed so hard but no one came to envelope me in a hug to protect me from that voice and from Kai. 

"You don't deserve to be loved Minkki! You are only mine!!" He continued 

And the door opened from my behind revealing Sehun. He's angry? I don't 'coz his face is dark.

"I'll ripped you into pieces! You ing idiot!" That was the first time I heard him curse like that. 

He punched Kai and fell on the floor. 

"This is my revenge kiddo!" Kai said with a smirk while wiping the blood on his lips. He stood up and fight Sehun. But Kai is much stronger than Sehun.

Kai kicked him and continued to launched his fist on his beautiful face.  I can't take it anymore!!

"STOP!! PLEASE! STOP! KAI!!" I screamed while tears streak down my cheeks. 

"STOP!!" I continued to sob but no one dared to stop. Sehun kept his grounds by exchanging punches to kai.

I don't know what to do. I went to Mom and Dad's room. I got my dad's gun in his drawer. 

I went back and still they are fighting... "STOP!!! PLEASE STOP!" 

And the sound of the pistol being fired was heard. 

"Minzy!!!!MINZY!" Sehun went to my side while I saw Kai on the floor with his eyes wide. 

I looked at Sehun and smiled. "Thank you Sehun! For the first time I felt happy again" I closed my eyes as darkness sink into my waiting soul. 

Author's pov

After a 2 months, Sehun is sitting on Minzy's grave holding her diary.

As Sehun read each page, he wipes each tear that comes out in his eyes.

03/23/14

I wonder how many pills or cuts, or breakdown or panic attacks or bad days would it take to prove I resemble to a tree, I look strong on the outside but when a part of me snaps inside there is nothing left but my rotten soul.

*Minzy

03/26/14

I'm running out of words to describe how sad i'm truly am.

Everyone will hate me. They will think I'm a freak if they knew i'm cutting. I'm giving up and I'm sorry because I gave up on everyone else too.

*Minzy

 

03/28/14

I can't do this anymore

Getting up.

Going to school.

Pretending to be alright.

I have lost every person that has ever mattered to me.

I miss myself. I miss smiling. I miss being happy.

*Minzy

 

03/30/14

I wished that someone could actually tell that I'm faking a smile, that I am not okay even though I claimed I am. Then give me a hug and stay, no matter I say that I am fine alone.

*Minzy

 

04/02/14

I met Sehun again. I don't know what to feel. He is still the same guy I think. But I'm different now.

No one will like a sad and broken girl.

*Minzy

 

04/03/14

I'm staring at myself in the mirror with tears streaming down my face and beg myself to hold on and be strong. And then Sehun knocked on my door telling me he'll save me from hell.

 

*Minzy

04/04/14

I want Sehun to look at me like it's the first time he have seen beauty even though I think I'm really ugly.

I want Sehun to love me like everyday is our last day breathing.

I want Sehun to ing need me like i am the reason why is his heart still beating.

I like him.

*Minzy

04/05/14

Sehun, I love you.

*Minzy

Author's POV 

Sehun grieve for her death. He cried so much. He lay down himself beside Minzy's grave and said, 

"You said, you are broken and it breaks me too.

Everytime your heart shakes in pain, mine shakes too.

I wish I could take your pain away

But too late, We haven't even started and You're already gone."

 

THE END