I wonder how it really feels to be lonely. I just experienced one today. I shall start my story.

It was early in the morning, I woke up in my bed, feeling refreshed. As I looked around, I noticed there was something missing in the room. I was alone. My sister wasn't beside me. Her blanket was perfectly folded and her bed was fixed.

I was pretty shocked. My dongsaeng was usually there, sleeping or waking me up to eat my breakfast. I was always happy whenever she was there. I liked to see her face so much because I cared for her.

Anyway, I just proceeded to go outside my bedroom. I dragged myself to the kitchen, where I was expecting to be greeted my parents and my younger sister. Unfortunately, they weren't there. 

The chairs were still in their original places. No spoons, forks or plates were placed in the table. Also, the table was empty.

I felt loneliness. It was usually filled with laughter in this place. The only thing I heard was the sound of silence and only silence entered my ears.

I just rubbed my shoulders just to get this feeling off. I decided to cook for myself my own breakfast.
After a while, I finished cooking. I opened the cabinet beside me to get my utensils for eating. I started digging my food. It wasn't that good nor did it taste bad. It was fine. I was satisfied with my cooking skills, even though my dongsaeng hates it when I cook.

I started washing the utensils I used. As I continued washing, something caught my attention. The plate that I used was my dongsaeng's plate. Then, memories started flooding in my brain.

-----

*Flashback*

"Unnie! I want that plate!", Krystal begged as she pointed at the circular object.

"Why? All I see in the plate is just a design of a snowflake!", I complained.

"That's why! It reminds me of you!", she smiled.

"Really?", I smirked.

Then, I started spanking her a few times. It made me laugh just seeing her winced by the pain I gave.

"Unnie! I was joking! Forgive me!", she apologized while doing aegyo.

Gosh, I can't stand her doing that. It annoys me but it also makes me smile widely.

"Alright. I'll buy you that plate but in one condition.", I replied.

"What is it?", she asked.

"No pranking for 1 month.", I said sternly.

"But..."

"No buts, Jung Soojung."

"Fine."

I smiled. I told her to do the pinky promise to me. When we finished, I bought that plate and we went home happily.

(End)

-----

My head was throbbing like crazy. The pain is hurting so much. All those memories were going to me. I fell down to the floor, due the pain I'm experiencing. I told my mind to calm down. I started to do heavy breathing-in-and-out in order to calm down.

After a while, the pain stopped. I was relieved that the ordeal was over. I stood up, feeling a bit dizzy. I proceeded to walk outside. 

I inhaled a large amount of air. I loved the fresh air outside the house, since we lived in the mountains.
I decide to sit down in a nearby bench beside the pool. I lied down on the bench, starring at the sky. It reminded me when I was doing this together with my family.

And a question just entered my mind. Where are they? I just slept instead, thinking about their whereabouts.

-----

It was almost sunset when I woke up. I dashed back in the house, not forgetting to turn on the lights. The silence atmosphere lingered in the house, sending shivers in my spine. This is the first time that I was actually scared for my whole life.

I didn't do anything at all. It was just too eerie. I liked the sound of noise, well maybe when I'm sleeping because it annoys me but this is too scary for me.

I just ran back upstairs. I dashed to my bedroom and slammed the door, leaving a big sound as it closed. I took a breather for a while. I lied down on the bed, starring blankly at the ceiling. I turned my head and my body to my left to prepare my sleep. I wasn't hungry at all. I just wanted peace, that's all.

But, something caught my eyes. I didn't want to stand up anymore but I wanted answers badly. Really badly.

I stood up and walked towards my study table. A black book was in front of of me. I gulped as I grabbed the book. I quickly opened the book.

It was my sister's journal. As I read page by page, I started remembering. All those fun and sad moments we had.

Then, I was in the final page. I started crying as I read it. This is what it read:

Dear Sister,
              
                  You must be reading this by now, unnie. When you read this, it means I'm dead already. I really thank you for all the moments we spent together. We had fun then I realized that I've been starting to forget things easily, have seizures and have fatigue everytime. You were really worried so, you sent me to the doctor. When the doctor said I've brain tumor, you turned around 360 degrees.

                   Instead of being the happy, cheerful person, you became the cold and the silent person. I tried my best to make you happy even though I'm sick but you still didn't change.
                   
                   I became weaker and weaker as days passed by. I kept on cursing and blaming myself for being a burden to you. I was a bad sister to you. I wish you'll be happy as time passes by. And try forgetting....

I didn't want to read the last line anymore. I threw the book away. Frustrated, I started to vent my anger on my things. I destroyed my stuff and cursed myself for being a bad sister.

After a while, my room was a whole mess. I was dead tired when I finished. I fell down on my bed and grabbed my pillow. I dugged my face on it and cried.

Now I realized that I'm alone.

Forever alone for the rest of my life. Forever lonely.

THE END.