Yoongi believes in the saying, “why fall in love when you can fall on the floor and never get up?” 

Haha. Just kidding. 

But in all seriousness, whenever a friend of his asks him for advice on love (he doesn’t know either why they go to him for that particular reason), he immediately puts on a straight face and tells them, “Don’t fall in love.” then walks out of the scene. 

No, it’s not just his way of avoiding another help-me-on-my-lovelife encounter with that person, but it works, so. 

Yoongi strongly believes that love is a stupid emotion created by pathetic human beings who can’t believe that they entered this world alone, and is destined to leave it alone as well. 
Yoongi hates love. That is why the moment he opens his eyes in the morning or before he closes them for sleep at night, he repeats to himself a chant, a sentence; It is a sentence that he’s known all his life. 

Don’t fall in love because everything that falls gets broken. 

Hours after their promenade ended, Yoongi sat silently at carpeted floor of their shared room ignoring his hyung who’s shouting Yoongi-ah, you look so gay with this other guy wearing the same blue as you repeatedly at the photo Yoongi just uploaded on Facebook. 

His hyung’s words were soon muffled one by one when he heard loud thrumming beats directly inside his ears and Yoongi wondered if the beats were just after effects of the loud music from hours ago or it was his heartbeat getting louder by the second as he remembers the way Jimin hesitantly entwined their fingers while walking towards the crowd or the way Jimin pulled him closer and put Yoongi’s head on his shoulder when they were swaying along to the mellow music. Yoongi clearly knows it was the latter but he still holds on to that very little piece of his heart that Jimin was not yet able to capture with his sweet words and endearing gestures. 

Ever since that Jimin barged into his life and messed with it like it was his life-long dream to see Yoongi suffer, Yoongi started asking himself 4 questions every night, his chant long forgotten, and he keeps track of his answers every time; updating himself whether his answer has changed from the answers he gave to himself two days ago.

1. Does Yoongi like hearing Jimin’s voice? yes
2. Does Yoongi like seeing Jimin’s smile? yes
3. Does Yoongi like it when Jimin is near him? yes
4. Does Yoongi like Jimin? NO

The first week he started, it was still fun watching his answers on the first three questions rapidly change from overly confident, big, all caps NO to small barely-there yeses. But a week ago when his answer on the last question turned from a quick NO to a hesitant, obviously doubted disagreement with an inaudible are you sure? following behind, Yoongi decided to add a 5th question; hoping that it would clear his mind.

       5.   Does Yoongi like the idea of liking Jimin? yes. NO. maybe?? (im not sure -.-)

But obviously, it just made things worse and more complicated than ever.

"I already told you Yoongi, you wouldn't be staring at Jimin if you don't like him." Jungkook and him were eating their lunch or more like Yoongi buying food for two and Jungkook eating them both. Jimin was two tables away from them and Yoongi was complaining how he can almost smell Jimin's confusing aura from where they're sitting. 
"I don't like that and for your information, I'm NOT staring at Jimin." He snapped at Jungkook while still staring glaring at the oblivious boy metres away. 
"Yeah, right." Jungkook dismissed, obviously have given up on talking to Yoongi. Yoongi is sure he doesn't like Jimin. or he was.

"You're avoiding me." Jimin suddenly says when they crossed paths one time. Yoongi didn't expect the guy to talk to him, since he thought he was being ignored not the other way around, he furrowed his brows at Jimin and before he can make out a response Jimin already turned the other way.

"Are you going to tell me?" Jungkook said after a minute of silence. They were in their usual spot in the cafeteria. Far from other students and much closer to the stall that sells snacks. 

"Tell you what?" Yoongi mumbles, the sassy tone from his voice gone. 

"Why you're sulking." 

"I'm not sulking." Yoongi answers too quickly. 

"Yeah, right." 

"I'm not. Why did you even bring your textbook. You're not even studying." He snaps but instead of flinching away, Jungkook laughed. 

"Oh my god. Something did happen. Spill." 

"Nothing happened. Are you finished with whatever you're doing?" Jungkook nods. Yoongi took a few of Jungkook's papers and walked out of the cafeteria avoiding his friend's weird glance.

"Ssshh. Will you two stop." Yoongi heard Seokjin hiss from somewhere behind him. They were inside the school hall practicing what seems to be songs they'll be singing for the event a week from now. He was in the first mono-block chair in the first row of seats assigned for their class, the space on his left being the side aisle and on his right a vacant seat. He was practically alone if not for one of his "friend" in the class sitting behind him. 

Seokjin was sitting 2 rows behind so when Yoongi turned around to see who he was glaring at, he was not surprised to see a bunch of his classmates pushing each other and betting who would fall off their chair first. 

What he did not expect was to see Jimin, his arm around one of their girl classmate, nuzzling her neck and giggling. 

Yoongi whipped his head to the front when someone cleared their throat right at the microphone. It was his fault for staring a second longer than necessary. Jimin looked him straight at his eyes and whispered something at the girl's ear and they both laughed.

Yoongi absentmindedly walked along the corridors. They were dismissed early for their lunch break. There were no other students in sight. He was a second away from walking straight into a pole if not for the shrieking voice that echoed through the entire lobby.

"Yoongi-ah!" He twisted his body from side to side looking for the owner of the voice. He saw Jungkook, hands full of papers and books, half running towards him. "Where are you going? Faculty's this way." Jungkook breathes, pointing his head to his right. Yoongi merely nods and followed Jungkook.

Yoongi was left sitting on a leather couch outside the faculty room, because apparently Jungkook has a scheduled consultation with his teacher. 

Yoongi sat crossed legs, playing with the shoelace of his sneakers. The door on his right opened and a gush of cold wind from the A/C hit his cheek.

"Are you sure these aren't raisins?" A deep voice Yoongi knows too well came from the inside of the room.

"Yeah, I'm sure."

"I don't trust you though." Yoongi looked at the boys that came out of the room and just like he thought, it was Taehyung and Jimin.

"Oh. Yoongi, Hi." Taehyung greeted through cookie crumbles and drools. Yoongi nods at him, avoiding eye contact as much as possible.

"Aren't you going to get yours?" Taehyung mumbled, staring at the still-not-eaten cookie held between Jimin's chubby forefinger and thumb.

"No." Yoongi shook his head. Taehyung's eyes glittered with interest.

"Then can I ask Mr. Jung for yours instead?" Yoongi nodded at him. Taehyung giggled and went back inside the room leaving the two alone.

Yoongi shifted in his position, moved to the left to make space for Jimin to sit on. Jimin hesitantly sat beside him. He took a bite of the cookie and stared at the floor.

Yoongi sighed, fumbling for his earphones buried inside his left pant pocket. The buds fell out of his grasp, Yoongi had to twist his body to grab it from the floor due to his crossed leg position. When he went back to his original position his cheek bumped into a certain cookie held by a certain person holding the most serious poker face Yoongi has seen.

"You seriously don't want? Just a bite." He said. Pushing the cookie at the corner of Yoongi's lips. Yoongi tilted his body back, too lazy to push Jimin away. He shook his head no. Jimin shrugged and took another bite.

Taehyung, after what seems like a century, finally went out of the room. In his hands were a small jar of cookies, "You really dont want? Mr. Jung gave the rest to me since no one went to take theirs."

This guy is persistent. Yoongi opened his mouth to say, "Thanks Taehyung. But I hate sweets." Taehyung frowned but nodded. He walked away, beaming at the jar he cradled in his arm.

Jimin stood up and took a step to follow Taehyung who was already a few feet away from him. He paused in front of Yoongi, stared then smiled.

"Too bad you hate sweet things," he took a third bite from his cookie then leaned a little too close to Yoongi, "but its not good to hate yourself," Yoongi raised his brow at him.

Jimin smirked, leaned at Yoongi's ear and whispered, "Sugar."

Yoongi's body tensed and his face flushed at the stupid nickname. He made an attempt to push Jimin away but Jimin already straightened and walked behind the still-smiling Taehyung.

"You know if you don't tell me what's happening to you, I'm gonna have to inform the guidance." Jungkook said impatiently, watching Yoongi as he made his third attempt at eating his lunch but ends up telling he has no appetite right now.

It's been 8 days since Jimin complained that he was being ignored; 5 days since Yoongi saw Jimin nuzzling their classmate's neck and 3 days since Jimin called him Sugar. But who's counting, right?

Yoongi wanted to approach him but each time he moves toward Jimin he remembers the way the guy leaned at him and whispered "Sugar." and Yoongi is left with no choice but to back away and go to the nearest washroom to splash cold water at his red face.

Jungkook did end up sending Yoongi to the guidance office; complaining that he can't take it anymore to the point that he threatened their guidance counselor that he wants his real friend back by the end of the day.

The counselor nodded and ushered the fuming Jungkook out the room. He instructed Yoongi to seat down and even offered him snacks. 

An hour passed and he already has a really talkative Yoongi pouring his heart out.

When the day was nearing its end, the door opened silently, Jimin on the other side of it. His eyes widened and immediately fled off to the side of the door, the wall hiding him.

"I've always believed that falling in love was for idiots. Much more falling for a person who you know will never catch you." It was never Jimin's intention to eavesdrop, but it was already too late to stop.

"I used to have this sentence that I repeat to myself every night. Don't fall in love because everything that falls gets broken." Jimin smiled at the image of Yoongi chanting those words until he drifts off to sleep.

"But then he came," Yoongi sighed. He tilted his head up, willing his tears to go back. 

"Who came? You've been talking about this guy for hours but never mentioned a name." Mr. Kim asked gently, coaxing the name out of Yoongi.

"Jimin came," Yoongi sighed again. "He suddenly came in my life; smiling that charming smile that makes me want to tear my eyes off for staring too long. He goes back one day and suddenly starts clinging onto me everyday. Spouting jokes whenever unnecessary, and leaving compliments when least expected."

"Then the day of the promenade, he asked me for a dance while smiling. It was a new smile, you see. And for a while I thought, maybe I was wrong about love. So while we sway to the soft beat, I let my grasp on my belief on love slip. And just let myself fall. But damn, I was wrong."

"I was wrong for letting his smile, his stares, and his confusing words trip me. I tripped and fell, and now I'm broken beyond repair. I always believed that love was for masochistic people only, and I guess I'm one of them."

"I see him laugh with girls. I see him drop compliments for them like how he used to do with me. I watch him nuzzle a girls neck but never did a thing. But then he comes to me and calls me stupid nicknames and dared tell me that I'm ignoring him like he wasn't flirting with other people the last time I saw him." Jimin wanted to barge in and explain. But before he could even move his feet, Taehyung was hopping in front of him; humming a tune to himself. 

Jimin waved his hand frantically, but Taehyung only ignored him and jumped inside the room smiling. Jimin can only slap his palm on his forehead at his friends' stupidity.

"Mr. Kiiiiim!" Yoongi heard Taehyung shout gleefully. Oh . Please let him be alone. No. He snapped his body towards Taehyung and exhaled a breath when he saw that he was indeed alone.

"Oh." Taehyung dropped both his hands that he was raising up his head to his sides. Yoongi glared at him with eyes so red because of forcing himself not to cry.

Yoongi stood up and bowed at Mr. Kim, ignoring Taehyung on his way out. He half-ran towards the nearest washroom, he can't let Jungkook see him like this.

A hand grabbed his and yanked him towards the stairs. "What the hell." He recognized those small hands and the owner of that back facing him and those legs going over the steps twice at a time.

Jimin stopped in the middle of a deserted hallway. He let go of Yoongi's hand. "What do you mean broken?"

Yoongi gasped though still out of breath from trying to keep up with Jimin's pace. "You were listening?"

"No. I mean, yeah." Jimin's head low, "But I didn't mean to." he continued.

"It means nothing." Yoongi deadpans, because Jimin was staring and suddenly the green floor looks so fascinating.

"You didn't really expect me to catch you?" Yoongi heard a smile on Jimin's voice, and he feels so pathetic because, "Yes, I did and It's stupid."

He turned around and went for the stairs. His pace much slower than Jimin and he hoped to God that he was not following because he can't let anyone see him cry.

Anyone other than Jungkook.

Jimin groaned because, obviously, he said the wrong thing. He ran after Yoongi. "Okay look, I said the wrong thing. Don't go." 

He easily caught up to him because, oh my god, Yoongi was slower than the turtle swimming in their school's makeshift pond. He wound his arms around Yoongi's waist, stopping him mid-escape.

"What I meant was, I'm sorry I didn't catch you." Jimin felt Yoongi's body tense under his hug and he can't help but giggle. "and I feel sorry for myself because I have the worst friend that advised me that to make you fall, I had to make you smile."

"So I did. I went to your place each day, dropping the lamest jokes because I know you'd laugh. But you only gave me that small smile and I figured that it was the most beautiful smile I've seen even though it felt restricted."

"and then one day we went for a seminar and I wanted to try again, but you looked so lonely so I told you that you look better when you smiled. But your frown only deepened and I thought I angered you with my comment so I avoided you and let your anger fade."

"But when the seminar was ending, I heard laughter from behind me, and I felt a tug somewhere in my chest. and out of curiosity I looked, and I saw your smile."

"After that day you smiled around me more often and you laughed even at the lamest jokes. I suddenly found myself falling harder. Then you started ignoring me after prom, so I tried to get your attention by flirting with the girls but you only avoided me more." Jimin saw Yoongi bite his lips, and he smiled.

"Taehyung told me that to make you fall, I had to make you smile. But tell me Yoongi," He unclasped his hands and turned Yoongi around to face him. "why is it that when you smile, it felt like the only one who's falling is me?"

"Make me understand please." Jimin smiled at the red painting the tip of Yoongi's ears and apples of his cheek. He tilted Yoongi's face upward to look at his eyes and continued, "How do you expect me to catch you when long before I talked to you, I was already falling?"

Yoongi's soft, "I- I don't know." only made Jimin's smile grow wider. He took a step towards him and hugged Yoongi again.

"Long story short, I love you too."

 

"But why were you and Taehyung at the guidance office?" Yoongi asked. They were walking around aimlessly, circling the campus for the nth time.

"You know, you're not the only one who has love problems." Jimin smiled and Yoongi laughed, imagining Taehyung ranting about some unknown person to Mr. Kim.

Yoongi was watching their feet take identical steps. Stopping when he saw Jimin's stop. Jungkook was infront of them, his hands on his hips. "I told Mr. Kim to give me back my friend but I certainly did not want you to be the one to bring him back."

Both stared at him, Yoongi's jaw dropped. What. But then Jungkook laughed, "I'm joking."

He glared at Jimin and wrapped his arm on Yoongi's shoulders, hugging him from the side. "You're an idiot for taking too long."

Jimin and Yoongi's eyes widened. "You knew?" Jungkook only nodded. "Did you forget? I'm in the same club as Taehyung." Jungkook shook his head at Jimin, "Don't trust Taehyung with your secrets."

 

-

finally! after spending weeks writing this rainbow puke, it's finally finished. sorry for the word vomit. ;;