{Ryeowook’s POV}

Rain was pouring down heavily from the skies as the rain drops fall on my cheeks. I could no longer tell where the raindrops started and where my tears ended. I did not bother that my clothes were soaking wet or that I would catch a cold. All I bothered about was to be with him. But everything was too late now. I held on to his last letter an all I could think of was ‘I had forgiven you a long time ago, my love’…

Ten years ago, when I first stepped into the classroom and I saw him, I thought that I had died and risen to heaven as he looked like an angel. Just by the sight of him, my heart beat faster than normal, that is when I knew that Cupid’s arrow had somehow been shot straight through my heart. Since it was the first day of college, we as freshmen were allowed to sit freely wherever we liked. I chose an empty seat beside him and sat down. As there was a crowd surrounding him, I decided to take out a book and start reading.

Moments later, the bell rang and groans could be heard from his table as his friends left for their own seats. Suddenly he turned to me to introduce himself. I was mesmerized by his dazzling smile. I could not respond when our form teacher called my name for roll call. I was jolted back into reality by him nudging my shoulders and pointed to our form teacher. I immediately responded and it resulted in chuckles from my classmates and even our form teacher. I responded with a blush, then our eyes met and from that moment, it was love.

It started as a simple platonic relationship and it grew into something deeper. When we finally realized our feelings for each other, we were already seniors studying for final term and preparing to enroll into the University of our Choice. Many people thought that our relationship would cool off but to their surprise, our relationship was stronger than ever despite many obstacles.

Or so I thought, until I caught him cheating on me with my very own eyes. He was hugging and kissing the girl on the lips. As I ran away from the scene, tears streamed down my cheeks. That night I cried myself to sleep as the word ‘betrayed’ flashed in my mind repeatedly. The next morning, he came to my house to ask me out on a date before he left for another country for his studies. We spent the time in the amusement park playing all kinds of rides and including the shooting games. After dinner he sent me home. I knew that this was the last goodbye as I would not be sending him off the next day. Just as he was about to leave, I held on to him and said that I needed to speak to him. He obliged and we went to the neighbourhood park near my house. This park brought back memories, this place is where we first met and would be the place where we would say our last goodbye. I told him that I had caught him cheating on me. He was astounded though I wanted to go forward to hug him I resisted the temptation and said that we should break up. He looked as if his whole world had collapsed on him. I turned away before he could see my tears. He then snapped out of his trance and hugged me.

“Please don’t go” he begged. I could not reply for fear that my voice would give me away that my tears were falling so I shrugged my shoulders and started to walk away. He chased after me and begged. I turned around and screamed at him, “How can I forgive you when you broke my heart into millions of pieces and step on them as if they were nothing? How can I forgive you when you were the one who betrayed my everything?”

“I’m sorry,” he said with his head hung down.

“Sorry does not cure anything. Not when my heart is at stake. I’m sorry but maybe time can heal these wounds. After they have healed then I might consider forgiving you.” With that I stormed away with tears streaming uncontrollably down my face leaving him there at the park and broke into a run towards my home. Just then a heavy downpour came pouring down out of a sudden mixing my tears with the rain.

Five years after that incident occurred, I started to forgive him when I could start a new relationship with a savior of mine and time had healed my wounds that he caused. Afterwards, I tried to find him but to no avail, though I could not find him but I had never given up on my search for him. When I found out news about him, I rushed to the place where my source had last spotted one of his family members. As I rang the doorbell, anxiety flushed through me, thinking ‘How would I respond when the person opens the door’. At that moment the door opened and his mother opened the door. She recognized me straight away and invited me in without even asking a word. She asked me to sit on the couch while waiting for her to take something from her room. When she entered into the living room, she told me to take a seat and handed a letter to me. She said that I had misunderstood him and things were not what it seemed to be on that day when I believed that he had betrayed me. By reading the letter I would be able to understand everything.

“­­­Ryeowook ah,

By the time you are reading this letter, I would have left this world already. Do not start crying which I know you would be. That day when you say you caught me cheating on you, well actually you were wrong I did nothing of that sort. It was the girl that pulled me towards her and kissed me. I’m upset that you did not bother to come and confront me at all. It makes me feel like you do not love me as much as I love you. When we broke up, you did not even give me a chance to explain at all, I wanted to explain to you that you were simply at the wrong place, at the wrong time. I did not even kiss the girl back because in my heart there’s only you, Ryeowook. Don’t be angry with me Ryeowook but I am glad that you misunderstood about the relationship between me and that girl though. In that way, I was able to leave you quietly without lying to you about where I was going and what I would be doing there. Actually I had contracted leukemia and it was at the last stage when my family and I knew about it. I told them to never tell you unless I had passed away already, I did not want you to worry about me and not concentrate on your studies. Though there are many words that I would still want to write to you but the next sentence is more than enough to sum up this whole letter. I love you from now till forever even if I had died; I will still not stop loving you, for you represent everything that I ever had.

Lots of loves,

Yesung

After reading his letter, thoughts such as ‘Why did he share his illness with me at least we could have spent his last days together. Why was he so selfish to only think of himself?  Why didn’t he think of my feelings? Didn’t he know that by doing that he was killing us both?’ filled my head and as if heaven was empathizing with me, rain fell down as my tears rolled down my cheeks and smudged the writings on the letter. My final thought was ‘Goodbye my first love and eternal soul mate. I will always think of you and you would always be in my heart forever.’