Both of you broke the kiss and smiled lovingly at each other. "promise me one thing, okay?" he said with eyes piercing through yours, as if trying to read your mind.

"What is it?"

"You'll continue living well, with or without me."

"What?" you were confused.

"Even if I'm not around to spend the rest of my life with you, you'll continue living well in this world. If you can find someone new to love, that's even better. I can't bear to see you sad for even one second and I don't want you to come find me at the other side until your time is up, understand?" his eyes were pleading for understanding from you.

"What are you talking about? Why? are you hiding something from me?" your eyes were filled with confusion.

"Just promise me."

"But-"

"Please." his eyes were filled with sincerity and sadness.

"Alright, I promise." you agreed and his eyes were smiling again.

He hugged you tight and smiled against your ear. "I love you so much, ~~~~~~~~~--ah."

"I love you too."

 

 

My eyes reddened at the thought of this and my smile dropped. I should've never promise you this. I should've trusted my senses when they told me there was something wrong. "Pabo, why didn't you tell me anything?" I shouted at his picture. But of course, all he could do was smile, even when I'm scolding him now. He can't even tell me "I love you" anymore.

 

 

 

-Christmas eve, 24.12.2008-

 

"Woohyun-ah~! Let's go and make snow-angels, okay?" You shouted ecstaticly to him over the phone.

He chuckled and said "sure. I'll meet you at the usual place in 5."

"Yay! Okay!" you put down the phone and changed into your thick clothings and headed out.

 

 

"I miss your chuckles, Woohyun-ah." I smiled as a tear flowed down my face. "Sometimes I wonder how you put with such a childish me." I laughed as I told him. Ofcourse, there was no response.

 

 

You reached the park and saw him sitting on the bench, or as you two would call it - the usual place.

"WOOHYUN-AH!!!" you screamed as you ran over. He stood up and embraced you in a hug. You pulled back and smiled at him. But your smile soon faded as you see his pale lips.

"Are you okay? You look kinda pale."

"Really? It must be because of the cold." He smiled and shrugged it off.

You were about to question him more but he pulled you towards an empty spot and laid down.

You laid beside him and both of you started making snow angels. When you were done, you just laid there and stare at him. He, too, stared back at you. Both of you smiled at each other and got up. 

Your snow angel was perfect while his was, well, not perfect. You laughed at the distorted shape of his snow angel. "You're a bad snow angel maker, aren't you?" you .

He glared at you and conceded defeat. "Yeah yeah. Mock all you want." he pouted.

"awww~ you're so cute when you're angry~" you pinched his cheeks. He smiled and pinched yours back.

 

 

"I should've noticed that your cheeks weren't as chubby as before. I'm such a fail girlfriend." You sighed.

 

 

Soon, both of you reached your house and you made hot chocolate. You went into your room, the tv and sat on the bed and he came in soon after. He sat beide you on the bed and you leaned your head on his shoulder as he hugged your waist and his head rested upon yours.

Time past and you yawned as you finished your hot chocolate. "You tired?" he asked, ever so lovingly.

You nodded and he carried you up and placed you lying down on the bed. He your forehead and kissed it.

As he was about to turn and leave, you held onto his hand and patted the empty space beside you. He got your hint and laid beside you, hugging you tightly. "goodnight." you smiled as you hugged him to sleep.

 

Night came and you woke up. You saw that he was still sleeping so you decided to cook for him before he wakes up.

You left his side as gently as possible to avoid waking him up and went down to cook.

After you're done, he still wasn't down yet, so you went up to wake him.

"Woohyun-ah-" you called and reached out for his face but stopped short as you felt his face ice-cold.

Your eyes widened and you slapped his face lightly a few times. "Woohyun-ah, Woohyun-ah! Don't scare me like this, you hear me?! GET UP!" you shook him and panicked when there was no response from him. You fumbled for your phone and dialed for an ambulance. Throughout the whole journey, you held onto his hand tightly while bawling your eyes out. "woohyun-ah, tell me this is a joke, eo? Get up and tell me this is a joke!" you were near hysterical.

At the hospital, you couldn't keep yourself still. You kept walking around, worried about him. *why didn't you tell me anything?!* you screamed in your head.

When the doctor came out, you rushed to him. "He's gonna be alright, right? Right?!" you couldn't control your emotions now. Everything just flowed out. 

The doctor looked at you apologetically."I'm sorry, we did our best. If he had receive treatment earlier, he wouldn't have ended up like this." 

"Treatment? What does he have?" you were afraid to know what he's about to say next, but you still wanted to know.

The doctor sighed before continuing. "Brain cancer."

It was as if your world crashed before you into a million pieces. You didn't know how to react. Your legs were rooted to the ground. 

Brain cancer? And you didn't even tell me.

Your legs finally gave way and you collapsed onto the ground, crying your heart out.

 

 

I returned to reality and realised that I'm crying hysterically, just like on the day of your funeral. I couldn't stop; it just kept on flowing out.

When I finally calmed down, I pulled out a note from my bag. "You knew you were leaving me, didn't you? That's why you asked me to promise you that,and you even wrote this letter for me. Why didn't you tell me earlier? Why didn't I notice? I'm such a failure."

 

 

~~~~~~~-ah,

If you ever receive this, that means I'm already in heaven, looking out for you.

Remember our promise, okay? You'll live on well even without me.

If any guy comes along and treats you as well as I treat you, or even better than me,

go and live happily with him and forget about me.

Although I don't think anyone will treat you better than I treat you. ^^

I'm sorry that I didn't tell you about my illness earlier;

I didn't want you to worry about me.

You won't even enjoy your time with me if you found out.

I'm sorry that you have to find out like this.

I really am.

Remember, I'll always be around you, protecting you.

Where, you ask?

In your heart, silly!

I trust that even if you deleted me from your brain, I'll still live on in your heart.

I'm sorry I can't spend the rest of my life with you, ~~~~~~~-ah,

but you must know this:

I love you so so so much. 

No matter where I am, alive or dead, I'll always love you.

Live well! 

Love,

Woohyun ^^

 

"What's the use of this letter, to remember you by? And you still want me to move on. How can I? Pabo." I said.

I looked at my watch and realised that 3 hours just past by like this. 

"Everytime I talk to you, it would take 5 hours or more. Today ended faster." I sighed and smiled at him.

I stood up and touched his picture one more time. "I'll come back next month. I love you." I smiled and kept the note back into my bag.

As I walked towards my car, I bumped into a guy.

"Hey! watch where you-" my words got cut off as I noticed he bears a striking resemblence to him. I was lost for words.

"I'm sorry! Are you okay?" he smiled.

the same boyish smile.

"huh? oh, yeah. I'm fine."

"I'm Howon, you?" he held his hand out.

"I'm ~~~~~~" I smiled.