’Love’ is a word muttered by millions of persons at the same time. I love you: three words easily played on the lips of uncountable persons; but understood by only few of them. It’s kind of twisted how the meaning of love changed through time, as if the feeling itself could ever change. What is love? Does it exist? It is there a plain definition for it? Yes, there are definitions of love. Even Wikipedia defines love nowadays. They say love is ‘a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person’. Therefore, it’s understandable to put the loved one’s feelings, issues and hardships before yours. Yura does that; she loves passionately; she survives through melodious tones of an unforgettable voice, and through the lily scent of a soft skin. She understands the other one’s feelings, and she does even the impossible to ease all the struggles that may appear in her loved one's way. Yura solves her lover’s problems first, she is always a bold shoulder to lean on; she gives the best comfort because she knows how to whisper the sweetest of words, words who never include ‘I love you’, because that is to cliché, right? But despite not saying it, Yura does love, she loves so much that at times, she wakes up in the middle of the night only to watch her lover’s steady breathing - thing which still makes her heart race even after  all these years -, and to carefully cover him with the blanket. She loves so much that refuses to let the other one find out about her struggles – struggles which haunt her every night. She loves so much that she never says ‘for me’, he says ‘for him' and she rarely slips a ‘for us’.

A mathematician would describe a relationship as an equation. It’s the struggles of A and B to become equals, despite their differences. Slowly, with help of time, the differences are simplified and the equal is the only remaining element. Unfortunately, only few people can reach the final solution, especially when B refuses to simplify himself in front of A, thing which complicates everything, especially for A. Yura doesn’t understand these things, because she isn’t good at mathematics and that’s a quite strong reason, right? Instead, she used to be good at literature and in her literary vision, love is an abstract notion, ‘but even an abstract pyramid is built by concrete stairs that are meant to help you climb it’, her boyfriend argues while sweetly smiling at Yura's idealistic view about everything. Therefore, Yura stumbles in her way on defining love, because after all, for her love is lost in Kyungsoo’s eyes, Kyungsoo’s lips, and Kyungsoo’s smile.

When they first met, Yura was a young writer who dreamt of becoming the country’s new bestseller, and Kyungsoo was a naïve boy who aimlessly fell in love at first sight. At least that’s what he remembers… Kyungsoo always had the ability to read between the lines, and those lines implied Yura's heart, most of the time. Because of that, the older – because Kyungsoo was a year older than her – was a perfect person in Yura's eyes. Since the first day it was like that and it never changed ever since… Kyungsoo always was the droplet of water that calmed down Yura's fire; and that’s because Kyungsoo fell in love with a complicate person, especially when it came to emotions. However, he always believed in her dreams, and he was supportive, even now when even Yura stopped believing in herself, Kyungsoo  still holds her hand tightly, so that she won’t fall. How could Yura not love such a loyal person? When she pursued his dream of becoming a famous writer, putting everything at stake, Kyungsoo supported her more than anyone else.

"Do you regret it?" Kyungsoo asks a few hours after midnight, facing his lover’s back and drawing endless lines on it.
"I don’t regret anything when it comes to us." Yura turned around in order to face him. She could still figure out the other’s features even though they were surrounded by darkness; she could see the way Kyungsoo’s eyes were glowing and the way he was biting his lower lip as he always did, and that made her heart  waver. Something was definitely concerning him. Therefore, she searched for her lover’s hand, and held it tightly. “What about you?”
"I regret not being better to you." Yura pursed her lips when she felt the way that Kyungsoo interlaced their fingers.
"Don’t say that again. You are more than enough for me."
Yura was intently staring into Kyungsoo's eyes, thing which made them burst in laughter. They both laughed loudly and Yura's hand flew on Kyungsoo’s waist pulling him closer.
"I missed your urge of talking to me in the middle of the night." Yura said, burying her nose in Kyungsoo’s neck. How much she missed this feeling… "You’ve been so tired lately…" She whispered, her breath tickling Kyungsoo’s neck.
"I’m sorry."  Kyungsoo muttered those words not as a reply to Yura's words, even though he felt sorry for that as well; those words were meant to prevent what was coming. “Why don’t you go and visit your parents? I’m sure that you miss them even though you don’t mention it."
“They wouldn’t want to see me anyway." Yura sensed that the question hid much more. "What about you? Do you miss them?"
Kyungsoo hugged her tightly and muttered a low 'let's sleep'. Yura felt how guilt rushed over her. Kyungsoo chose her over his parents, and she promised a happy life; a promise she failed on accomplishing. Maybe things aren't meant to resist, even love.
“You should go and see your parents, Soo. I bet they miss you just as much as you do.”
Kyungsoo shook his head weakly. "I want to stay with you." Yura sighed subtly after hearing those words, a sigh which had been fast vanished between Kyungsoo’s lips.


 

They say love is ‘a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person’. Therefore, it’s understandable to put the loved one’s feelings, issues and hardships before yours. Yura does that; she loves passionately. Kyungsoo does too, but he  stopped showing it. Still, Yura is already sure of his love, right?
Three weeks have passed, and they barely see each other. Kyungsoo seems to be to busy with his work and Yura pretends to be busy with her's. The only thing that keeps Yura happy is the fact that Kyungsoo finally got a stable job, just as he wanted to. Though, she didn’t stop hoping that Kyungsoo would come home earlier, that Kyungsoo would call her through the day, that Kyungsoo may wake up again and talk to her in the middle of the night; but Kyungsoo stopped doing that. It must be because of exhaustion, right?

Even though he is very busy, Kyungsoo sees the sad figure of his girlfriend when he finds her sleeping on the couch, waiting for him.  Why is he doing it, how can he be such a coward, why he replays the same song all over again; he doesn't know. Still, he watches his girlfriend face and smiles; because he knows her too well. He knows that Yura sleeps while hugging her knees, because she is afraid without him - even though she often argues it isn't true. Yura is afraid of dark, almost as much as of separation. Maybe that's what stops Kyungsoo. But, Kyungsoo senses how much Yura changed aswell; from that brave girl who was able to go against the entire world, she ended up being the girl afraid of dark who always finds comfort in one single pair of arms. Kyungsoo knows that it is no good for her; this is dependence.

 

Kyungsoo's heart clutches when he doesn’t spot Yura on the couch. Kyungsoo's heart clutches tighter when he doesn’t spot her in the bed either. Kyungsoo's heart clutches even tighter, and his feet wobble when he hears loud coughs coming from the bathroom. Kyungsoo's heart freezes, when he sees Yura under the cold jet of water.
“Are you crazy?” He yells, desperately trying to stop the water from pouring. Kyungsoo doesn’t know what to do when he meets a pair of red eyes; those eyes that are still beautiful and wild as ever. Does he have the right to do this to his Yura? Does he have the right to make her cry? He stops, he stops thinking and he enters under the cold touch of the water too. Neither of them dare to stop staring into each other’s eyes; not until Yura head lands on Kyungsoo’s knees, and exhales a heavy sigh. "Kyungsoo, it hurts..."



“Let’s break up.”
Those harsh words echoed in the room so badly, that Kyungsoo's legs start wobbling because of the tension. He avoids Yura’s eyes; he doesn't want to give up anymore. He doesn’t want that.

 

Kyungsoo silently watched how Yura was shoving all of her clothes inside the luggage. She was furious and hurt; and she had all the right to be. This was one of those moments when the pain was stronger than the ration; moments who only he could bring in Yura's life. A reason more why this should stop.
Yura stopped and stared at the bed for the last time. "So, after all, you gave up first..."
That whisper made Kyungsoo's world shake. Those words felt like a dagger; a dagger which his own hands pulled inside their hearts; but he hated to see Yura hurt, more than anything. This should be the last time she would hurt because of him.

 

Now, when Kyungsoo enters the house he no longer sees Yura sitting on the couch, neither on the bed, even though he swears that he can smell her presence.
He wanders through the kitchen that used to be his lover’s,-his former‘s lover- favorite place. His fingers touch places that Yura touched, and being aware of that, it's heartbreaking. At least he had somewhere to send her to, but where will he go from now on? He wanted to break in a harsh way Yura's dependence on him, but who will break his dependence of her?
Softly, he eyes the amount of food that Yura left along with a simple note: “Just in case…”
Then, he realized: he really did gave up on her.


 

The sounds of the furious trains were constantly disturbing Yura's thoughts. She was holding the hem of her shirt tightly. It was Kyungsoo's purple shirt.
“It hurts.” She mutters again, fidgeting on the chair. The train would depart soon but she doesn’t bother moving. In the depths of her heart, she hopes that Kyungsoo would come, like in those silly movies they always watched together… But the clock was ticking faster and faster, and it made her lose the track of time. She always hated public places, and now all the agitation made her feel dizzy, suffocated. All of the people passing by... Kyungsoo could be one of them. She wouldn't know, anyway...


 

“Baekhyun?” Yura asks, tightly holding her suitcase.
"I lost the train."
 

First chapter. Kind of short, a lot of things happening :) This won't be a long story :)