Hey, Baekhyun. Are you awake?

NO.

Oh, sorry. Nevermind, then.

Chanyeol. You woke me up at 3am, already.

I’m sorry.

What is it? Why are you up at this time anyway?

Can you come to my room? It’s just right above your’s.

Expected, really. Baekhyun rolls his eyes tiredly. Once again, Chanyeol’s asking him to fight through the cold air to his room. Why? He’s lonely. In spite of his little complaining just now, Baekhyun grabs his favourite hoodie, bought around last winter, and drags his slippers towards the door, ready to go up the stairs and down the corridor – like every time.

Room 212

The petit boy was quietly sitting in his swirly chair burying his head into the endless lines of text, studying for his winter exams in a few days. His eggplant- coloured hair tied up into a cute apple stem on top of his head, Baekhyun once again highlighted and made notes of his study on the development of musical instruments during the Romantic era. Who knew music students had to do this too? It was quiet, frighteningly quiet; nevertheless, he thanked the silence for he wouldn’t be able to work.

Thadump thadump thump cha

What? Please, no. Baekhyun thought.

Thadump thadump thump cha

Is he really? Drumming at- the boy glanced at his clock sat on the shelves of books – at 3am?

The ‘drummer-boy’ upstairs – as him and his friends referred the boy as every time Baekhyun complained about him – was playing drums again. Does he not have to study or something? Maybe, I don’t know? What do people do at 3? SLEEP.

Baekhyun’s little lantern that hung from the roof shook as the beats were struck along with his little water bottle that was half-filled. Everything shook; his heart seemed to also shake along with the drums each time it was struck. It would always remind him of how his heart would skip a beat with his previous girlfriends every time he saw them, but of course, that hasn’t been in years. He has lost interest in love and has been concentrating on his studies. Not that he wasn’t open for one, just not always looking for it like everyone else.

“ARGHHHHHHHHHHH!” A loud manly scream erupted from above, then followed by rushed, angry drumming.

Cha cha bum thump cha thadump bum bum thump cha

Then it went silent; just for the ears to rest

Thump cha thump bum bum cha thump thadump cha

Baekhyun covered his ears with his hands before slamming his face onto his books. It won’t be possible for him to continue studying unless the noise stopped. It’s one or another, either the drums or him that stopped. Deciding that his studies were - glaringly obviously - more important than the drummer-boy’s reckless drumming, Baekhyun stood up and threw on his new hoodie that was hung on the back of his chair. The drumming was still going on and up the stairs he went, dragging along his slippers. Up the stairs and down the corridor - room 312. He politely knocked on the door, hoping that he wouldn’t have to be rude, despite his anger earlier.

No answer. Knock again – but harder.

Wait, wait, waiting. Still no answer. Knock again – full anger.

The drumming halted to a stop, probably because the drummer-boy heard the knocking, so knock again.

Finally, after four knocks, the silence embraced the air again and only the sound of someone shuffling along the floor could be heard from inside the room. Baekhyun watched as the door knob turned and the wooden door pulled open. He looked up straight forward to see a broad chest staring back at him. Baekhyun had to tilt his head upwards to meet with the taller boy’s questioning gaze and playful smile. ‘Why the hell are you confused?! And what's with that smile!?’ is what Baekhyun should have thought.

Eyes, hair, ears, lips, smile. His heart went a little like,

Doki doki doki.

This time round, there is no ear bleeding drumming coming from behind the door, but instead silence leaked from every corner. Exactly how it should be at 3AM in the morning. Baekhyun sleepily rubbed his eyes before rapping his white knuckles against the door.

There is no second time, or third or fourth knocking. The door instantly swings open, as if the person has been waiting for the knock to come.

“Baekhyun~” the deep voice of the cheerful boy echoes beautifully in Baekhyun’s ears. It’s music to his ears – as cliché as it sounds, but he is a music major all; so, what less should anyone expect from him?

The little boy pulls his hoodie closer to himself and pulls the hood up as his moves his gaze from the broad chest up – which had his arms wide open for a hug - to the playful smile.

Eyes; as bight and glinting as ever.

Hair; brown hair; longer than last winter - though it's now spring.

Ears; Yoda ears, just like Baekhyun loves.

Lips; just as inviting as he remembers.

Smile; as loving as last time.

Eyes, hair, ears, lips, smile. His heart goes a little like;

Doki doki doki.

“Park Chanyeol. You better have a good reason for waking me up at this time of the night.” Despite the obviously bricked tone in his voice, Baekhyun walks straight into Chanyeol's open arms.

The taller boy’s playful smile softens as he wraps his arms around the hooded figure, dragging both of them inside as he kicks the door close with his foot. Everything is going as it usually does. Baekhyun comes to him, into his hug, in which he happily gives – in spite of his unintentionally harsh words just about a month ago.

Chanyeol locks the door behind them as he lets go of the smaller, dyed-blonde haired boy. The little one plops himself down onto his friend’s swirly chair, letting it spin around a few time (precisely twice) before halting to a stop with a dead serious face. “So...”

Before Baekhyun could finish his sentence, the giant that called upstairs at 3 in the morning tucks himself into bed, turning to the side and grins adorably at him.

“Stay with me, Baek.” The grin still plastered on his face.

Eye brows raised, Baekhyun stares at the little puppy in bed as if to say ‘you have to be. ing. Kidding. Me.’ the so-called puppy pulls the chair closer to his bed and tucks back in safely under the salvation of the duvet as he stares hopefully at the un-amused boy. Baekhyun continues staring into the hopeful pair of eyes, before sighing realizing himself giving in to his friend’s request and dragging himself onto the edge of the bed.

Baekhyun lies flat, stiff, next beside Chanyeol. He’s mean. Baekhyun can’t understand the giant beside him. He knew perfectly well how Baekhyun felt towards him. Why?

“Baek, isn’t it cold?” Chanyeol turns himself so he’s now facing the stoned Baekhyun. He pulls open his salvation of warmth (also known as the duvet) and covers Baekhyun with it. Great. Now we’re sharing the duvet.

His heart goes a little like;

Doki doki doki

As much as it fills his insides with gleefulness and makes his insides flip with joy, it cuts deep, deep into his heart. It scars – and of course you need your heart to live. “Chanyeol, this is. What. You woke me up from my sleep for this?” Impatient to back away, Baekhyun throws the covers away - back onto Chanyeol, actually - and gets up slipping on his slippers again – ready to leave.

A whiny Chanyeol grabs onto his wrist; “Baek~ C’mon~ It’s cold and I’m lonely.” Whiny and aegyo filled but his face was still aegyo-less. It never had been Chanyeol’s thing for aegyo, that was Baekhyun’s job.

“Chanyeol.” His face stoic, his voice far from aegyo.

“Chanyeollie~” Sparkling eyes and his words dripped with honey.

“Yeah? Baekhyun?” Chanyeol’s face was still buried in the newly released volume of some manga he borrowed from Luhan – the Chinese dude that sat next to him in his Korean classes.

Baekhyun bent down in front of Chanyeol, who was sitting on his little sofa. They were settled in Chanyeol's dorm after their daily visit to the campus café – in which they ran into Jinri – Chanyeol’s lovely previous girlfriend. She had broken up with him just about 6 months earlier. (Actually, it was exactly 186 days and 2 hours ago that she broke up with him; not that Park Chanyeol had been counting.) After two and a bit years together, who would’ve thought. He had everything planned out: they were going to be together, but he had his sweet future crushed like a piece of candy under her foot, crushed and gone unnoticed.

It broke him to pieces and took him a few sorrowful months to get himself together again – of course, he had Byunbaek beside him to keep him going. To Baekhyun, it meant so much for him to be there for Chanyeol, they met just about over a year ago, during winter exam season - he remembers clearly. Things weren't exactly going well for them, at that time. (In which, Baekhyun later finds out this reason to Chanyeol's 3AM drummings.)

When the ex-couple ran into each other, Chanyeol’s face showed nothing but the same bright smile that was always on his face. 'Tired, ever?’ people might ask. Always. Is what Chanyeol would always answer. But not this time, to his surprise. He smiled and greeted her, along with her new man, Lee Taemin, with a smile – genuinely. Baekhyun, right beside Chanyeol as always, looked up to his friend to find a smile – the egg-plant coloured hair boy smiled. Mission: Make Chanyeol happy. Accomplished!

After plopping down, onto the floor in front of the sofa, his face turned serious. Clammy palms, rising temperature, hitched breathing.

“Yeol, listen.” He called again, hoping to pull the giant out of his concentration on the manga. Still no response.

“Park Chanyeol, I’m serious.” His hands were itching to snatch away the manga, but he had to play nice – play safe. Finally, getting Chanyeol to look up and upon seeing Baekhyun’s furrowed eye brows, he put his book down and was now paying full attention to his friend. (As full as possible when your mind is still swimming in the plot of the book.)

“Yes, Byun Baekhyun.” He looked at his friend on the floor; ...Nervous...? “Shoot it.” Baekhyun swallows before taking in a sharp breath and spitting out what ever he had in him.

“You know, I’m really glad – really, really – that you’re doing great now.” He smiles at Chanyeol. “You smiled. I’m really glad, happy, even”

“Really, Baek. I’m glad you were with me. Thanks, man. You’re an important part of me.” He opened his arms wide, pulled Baekhyun into a hug before giving him a pat on the back like friends do.

Baekhyun turned stiff. Important. His heart went a little like;

Doki doki doki.

“Y-yeah, I’m glad we’re... friends.” Hesitation. Stuttering. Chanyeol thought.

“Yeah, I’ll be right here with you, too, man. So, what’s what you wanted to tell?” He was now the one getting a little impatient. “Spit.”

“I-I...” Baekhyun thought he was prepared. He was stuttering, this was not like Byun Baekhyun. “I’ll be there to help you stand, Yeol. You. You’re just as important to me as I am, w-well, hopefully.” His smile turned bitter as each of his own stringed words slipped out of his own lips.

“I really, really, don’t want to... lose someone like you. Someone like this – like y-you - only come around once in a lifetime.” He closed his hands into a tight fist, his short cut nails dug into his sweating palms, despite being short.

“Oh... Baek... That’s very nice of you...” Chanyeol smiled as he started feeling the weight of the tension Baekhyun was creating. In hopes of lifting up the atmosphere he joked, “That sounds like a confession, Baek! You know, I love you too, babe.” He laughed it off, ending with a ery wink, he joked about it – however, the petit boys’ face tensed up in nervousness. It broke his heart.

“I like you. Yeol. Park Chanyeol, I like you.” Baekhyun inhaled deeply, hoping the least they could be by each other’s side.

Chanyeol loud laughs halted to an immediate stop. His heart went a little like;

Doki... Doki... Doki...

What was this?

Silence was Chanyeol’s answer along with an unintentional “I can’t, Baek.” – the harshest answer he could’ve given out of all. He sat there stunned. Same goes for Baekhyun, he sat there on the floor unmoving, his head bowed down, as he pulls his hood up.

3:30AM

Chanyeol lies on his bed, still in the same spot as how Baekhyun left him. He listens the whimpers of pain from the boy downstairs. He hurt him again. He just keeps hurting him. It wasn’t his intention to hurt Baekhyun – never was and never will be.

4:10AM
Chanyeol falls asleep as soon as the sobs go silent. They say Friday nights were supposed to be fun. Fun your .

8:30am... What day is it today?

Baekhyun wakes up to the sunlight through the gaps of the curtain. Ah, it hurts. His eyes hurt from crying so much last night. He looks around the room in search of the clock. It takes him a good few seconds before his eyes adjust to being open to see the time.

Saturday. Yay.

He falls back asleep.

Chanyeol looks down at his watch. He's usually never a morning person, but here he is up, and running at 8:30am in the morning. Hopefully, he’ll be quick enough, then all he has to do after that is wait.

10:47am? Ah, the extra two hours were really nice. 

Baekhyun turns over to his side and slowly peers open his eyes. He plops up his elbow, using his other free hand to rub off the sleep off his eyes.

He slides off his bed and prods himself into the bathroom to get ready for his brea- brunch.

10:48am. C’mon!

Chanyeol hopes that he would be forgiven and the other side wouldn’t be too cold to ignore his efforts. Ah... So, this must’ve been how he felt...

Baekhyun throws on his hoodie that he bought for the winter upon entering university, then slipping on his worn-out pair of Converse All-Stars, he grabs the keys and turns off the lights, heading outside. He closes the door behind him and makes sure it’s securely locked before turning around and slipping on a piece of paper.

Baekhyun catches himself on time before falling flat on his face. What the fu- The paper reads: “변백” That’s me. A moment of processing: And that's definitely Chanyeol’s handwriting.

Above the writing is an arrow that points upwards. The purple arrow points to a paper cut out arrow that lies on the floor, which leads to another paper with a hand written message on it.

An Hour More

There is an arrow that points to another paper along the corridor. The pattern repeats and repeats itself up the stairs.

And Sanity Less

2AM

I lie awake thinking of you.

I lie awake thinking.

I lie.

The gaps between each paper started to get wider as the paper scatters up the stairs. Now, down the corridor.

3AM

I said, ‘I would never ever fall for you.’

I said, ‘I would never ever fall.’

I said, ‘I would.’

By this point, Baekhyun’s confused. D-does this mean... He doesn’t want to get his hopes up just to have it crushed like a candy.

The last arrow points to Chanyeol’s door, it says “Knock” on it. Knocking once. Silence.
Knocking twice. Silence.
Knocking thrice – impatient. Silence.

Baekhyun decides that if the paper said knock and there is no answer, he presumes that it meant to go in (why bother telling him to knock, he asks himself). He pushes the door open, greeted with the familiar shoulders that makes him – on autopilot mode – shift his gaze up to the face.

Eyes, hair, ears, lips, smile. His heart goes a little like;

Doki doki doki.

A soft, insecure – very much unlike Park Chanyeol – smile spread slowly across his lips as Chanyeol lifts up a stack of paper. It said, in the same hand writing:

And I did.

I’m sorry, Baekhyun.

I lied. I lie.

“I can, Baek.” Is what I should have said.

From now on, I’ll be beside you like you were with me. I will catch you when you fall, but I will never let you fall. I’m sorry.
백현야~ 사랑해

Silence is Baekhyun’s answer. In normal circumstances, Baekhyun would have rolled his eyes at the sappyness of the situation. However, to experience it first handed is different. His palms are clammy and his body shakes. He feels soft and floppy, he wants to cry of joy but he wants to - he dreads to - slap the boy he loves across the face. He doesn’t know whether to be happy or angry. He is just... Simply confused.

Chanyeol grows extremely nervous as he flips onto the last piece of paper with Baekhyun still staring at him in silence.

Forgive me? Love me?

His palms are clammy and, possibly, shaking causing him to lose grip of the paper, dropping them onto the floor. He scrambles around nervously picking up the scattered confession. He had hoped it would have been more romantic, but honestly, this is going much more smoothly than expected – despite his little clumsiness. Just one last step in making it perfect, and this last step is out of Park Chanyeol’s control.

Baekhyun watches as Chanyeol picks up the paper, still unable to move he starts processing everything inside his head.

Chanyeol just confessed to him. He is expected to accept, but he is confused. He is shocked. Next mission: Answer to Park Chanyeol’s confession.

As the clumsy Park collects the fallen pieces on the floor, his black marker pen falls from the front pocket of his shirt and rolls itself to Baekhyun’s feet. He looks down at it, as his brain slowly ticking. Before Chanyeol could reach for the pen, the smaller boy fumbles for it and slides over a paper.

Then, nervously scribbles down onto the other clean side of the paper.

Chanyeol watches hopefully as Baekhyun flips the piece of fate around to face him. It reads:

4AM

Happily ever after.

The same usual playful grin finds its way onto Chanyeol’s lips once again. Baekhyun looks up from the floor, to the welcoming broad shoulders, to his face.

Eyes, hair, ears, lips, smile. His heart went a little like;

Doki doki doki.

His face turns from pale of nerves to crimson.

“Idiot, I love you.”