Chaerin’s POV

Throughout the day, I couldn’t concentrate with the lesson not because I couldn’t understand a thing…not because of the old and dusty room’s poor ventilation… not because of the lousy and sleepy teacher in front… not because of the uncomfortable stares from my girl classmates who love to gossips around… but because of the threat made by someone who was kind enough to exchange seats with me after I messed his table. ‘I wanna go home now…’

*RRRRIIINNNGGGGGGGG*

However when the unfortunate bell rang, instead of relief, I felt a pang in my chest. Instead of sighing like what my classmates are doing, I feel like crying for I know… and I’m really sure, that someone will be on the gate waiting for me. For a fourth grader student, it was a big problem to be on the bad list of bullies, however, in my case, it was a worse problem on how to pass the large entrance without being notice as well as not to missed my school service. When I glance at him, he gave me a knowing smirk and I tried to stop myself from the huge urge of shaking.

After all of my classmates left, I decided to wander at the back side of the school, looking for a possible way of escape, however, I was only greeted by a huge wall. And though I wanted to climb my way out of it, the fact that the school principal’s office was located near of it made me back off.

Now I had no choice but to face my nightmare… alone!

“It could be as easy as 1,2 and 3! All I need to do is run once I pass that huge gate. He probably won’t notice me after, right?!” I said, trying to pacify myself. I am hiding behind the big pillar beside the main gate, and trying to search for a possible enemy, however, I couldn’t find any. I breathe a sigh of relief for the very first time today. Mustering all of my courage and stamina, I made my fastest record and dash outside… only to realize that I am not moving from my spot.

Looking around, I found this boy…who goes by the name of Kwon Jiyong, as he introduce himself a while ago… holding my backpack that prevents me from running. I gulp hard. And tried to wiggle and be free from his grip.

“Yah! Let me go… set me free!?” I told him, trying so hard not to cry. Actually, I am a cry baby ever since but, today, I feel like my pride is taking over… and it screams not to cry and beg to this boy!

“You are so ill-mannered! How could you pour that sticky glue on my desk??” he asks, no… it’s more of a demand for an answer.

“Because you’re so annoying… and you keep on moving!” I retort back. Yeah…I got some spunk as well.

“Annoying? Moving? Were those enough reasons to mess on my table?” he raises his brow, and I could just stick my tongue out of him.

“You deserve it, and besides, you exchanged your table with me! So what’s the point?!” I tried to release myself from his grip, but he’s bigger than me… much bigger actually.

“You’re such a brat! I will let you go only if you apologized!” he roars at me.

“Don’t want to! Let me go, my service probably arrives already, so back off!” I even tried to warn him that my mom will fetch me and that he’ll be dead once she arrives, however…

“Good! My mom is the head teacher here, maybe, your mom could pay her a visit regarding your class standing last year, and your current behavior…” he shots back. I could only pout at him. ‘Mommy…’

“No…she’s not coming.” I said in defeat. “But, my service will really leave me if I won’t arrive in time in our meeting place! And how come your Mom is the head teacher, when you ended up in a losers’ section?!” I questioned his credibility… only to regret when he heard what I’ve addressed our segment.

“Losers’ section? Huh!? Came from someone who failed all her major subjects!” he retorts at me, before releasing me. “You know what, I thought you’re cool. But no, you’re not. And I think, we can never be friends… because I am a loser.” He walks away from, and although I feel a tinge of guilt, my pride takes over once again.

“I don’t want to be your friend anyway!!!” I shouted, before running my way outside. I look down, and realize that he dropped something. A towel, actually… with a note in it.

Chaerin,

Sorry if you got mad because I switches our table. Please use my towel, instead, to wipe the sticky feeling of the glue. Hope we can be friends…

Jiyong

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*End of First Quarter*

I am the top student… but he was our class president. >.<

We rarely talk, and if so, it was all about passing papers in front.

I found out he got a group of friends within the class.

And I finally found true friends too.

He’s cute whenever he smiles…

And he’s kind… well, the real him is kind towards everybody.

He loves hot dog.

He snorts whenever I fishes out my glue.

He is kinda quiet, but he loves to draw. He’s good at it!

And he still loves to wiggle on his seat… but I don’t find it annoying anymore.

*End of Second Quarter*

Another girl took over my rank in our class standing, that’s why I really really hate her. She’s stupid!

He still won’t talk to me. And my pride still goes between us.

That stupid girl who stole my place was really annoying because she loves to seat on my chair.

That stupid girl who stole my place, and who loves to seat on my chair has a crush on him.

That stupid girl who stole my place, who loves to seat on my chair and who has a crush on him… finally became his girlfriend.

That stupid girl… okay, I hate her! And we will never be friends!!! …

…although I like the strawberries her Mom brought last time. >/////<

*End of Third Quarter*

My birthday is finally approaching soon, and I am literally excited. Aside from it’s almost Christmas season, I will finally be able to tell him about my feelings. Yes… I decided to confess! And it will be in the form of my little Christmas Party presentation. I don’t care if he has a girlfriend… anyway; I just want him to know that he’s my crush.

I look at the small gift in my hand and smile, hoping that he will like what I’ve prepared for him. It is a necklace that I ask my mom to buy for me. It has a green crucifix pendant and a black lace.

I smile secretly when he finally sit next to me. I want to cover my giddiness but when I notice something hanging on her neck, my smile evaporates.

He already has the same necklace I was about to give him…

…and his stupid girlfriend also got another, hanging loosely on her neck.

* Fourth Quarter*

Only a month to go and we will have our vacation! I mean, finally. Our teacher said that I may have a higher chance to go back in my old section but my heart doesn’t want to. I still haven’t confessed my feelings for him… and the necklace I asked my mom to buy for me was literally locked up in my closet.

Its Valentine’s Day today, and I busy myself doing cards for my friends. Just then, I felt someone tap my back and before I knew it, a plastic rose was being offered in front of my face. My face blush red and I feel the huge urge to hiccups.

Jiyong was there, bowing before saying, “Mom told me to give my entire girl classmates a piece, that’s why this is yours.” He shoved the rose in my hand, and true to his words, all of the girls were holding the same. I just quietly nodded, before resuming my activity, biting my lips so my tears won’t fall. For a young age of 10, I finally able to grasp the feeling of unrequited love, and I tell you, it’s better to hit your knee on the edge of the table, rather than bearing this kind of burden.  T_T

 After I gave all of the cards, I clutched at the most extravagant work of mine… the card I specially made for him. Knowing that there’s no more time left to tell him, I decided to put the card in his bag… but not before erasing my name. He doesn’t need to know about me… it will be embarrassing anyway.

Just few more weeks Chaerin! And you won’t see him anymore.

*A week before the awaited Summer Vacation*

Our teacher decided to have a small year-end program, asking us to prepare a performance each. Well, my supposed performance last Christmas Party was cancelled because I backed out. But now… looks like I have no other choice but to release it. So, with all the courage… and my thick face… and supports… and constant teasing… I finally sing…

I lie awake at night

See things in black and white

I've only got you inside my mind

You know you have made me blind

I lie awake and pray

That you will look my way

I have all this longing in my heart

I knew it right from the start

Oh my pretty pretty boy I love you

Like I never ever loved no one before you

Pretty pretty boy of mine

Just tell me you love me too

Oh my pretty pretty boy

I need you

Oh my pretty pretty boy I do

Let me inside

Make me stay right beside you

The whole class claps on my performance but I just gave them a small smile. I go back on my seat, avoiding having an eye contact with him. Just then, I notice one of my notebooks was on my desk and was about to hide it in my bag when I realized something was drawn on its last page…

…an animated girl who cutely sings in front of the class, with matching heart signs everywhere as its background.

And although my mind wonders who did it, my heart flutters for it surely knows the answer.

*Present Time*

Upon entering the dermatologist’ clinic, I immediately seat on one of the vacant chair to freshen up myself. Being an accountant to one of the Manpower Agency in our city, I am overdrawn with stress, that’s why my skin problems started to crawl outside. Yep! Pimples… T_T  I was on the verge of relaxing when…

*wiggles*

*Cell phone rings*

*wiggles*

“Aish! Excuse me—“I look at the person beside me and was about to scold him when…

“You never change…” he smirks at me, before winking.

‘Jiyong!???’ My mind screams.

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A/N: Feel my pain? TTT_TTT Stupid me, right?? 

Anyway, the present time meetings really happened. T_T

And to those who wanted to know how it ended up (ehem!) truthfully, hehehe... I run outside, screwing my own Doctor. Yeah... >////<

I had to find another Dermatologist, though. That clinic wasn't safe anymore. Why could we have the same anyway??? 

And I must confess, the pain is still here... I'm still on the part of what if's.Hahaha... 

We barely saw each other after that class. Yeah, I got a better grade, that leads to another circumstances...etc.

He becomes cuter. Hahahaha...

*Byooong!* JK

Thanks to my subscribers, readers, commentators.. may you have learned something from me. Thank you so much for sharing this feeling with me. It was used to be a burden. And maybe it still is... but it was also one of my inspirations why I could dwell into writing over and over again. Hahaha...

You know what's the saddest part...and the main reason why I find it harder to move on????

...he confesses to me... when I decided to forget him. 

WHAT IF's! TsK!!! hahaha...

And SkyDragon FTW! Hahaha.... The ship sails smoothly, thanks to the infis constant support and prayers! ^^